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+--- Thread: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... (/showthread.php?tid=22386)
I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Ana54 - 05-07-2011 11:43 PM
..."high functioning", the supposed "social Aspies", "Aspies who are popular where they live/work/hang out", etc. are actually quite the opposite of what they say they are... or at least they treat their fellow Aspies way worse than they treat NTs. Any of you noticed that?
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Duckfetishgirl - 05-07-2011 11:48 PM
No, bt I don't know a lot of aspies.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - League Girl - 05-07-2011 11:49 PM
Never had.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - d_olson27 - 05-08-2011 12:31 AM
Not the "social aspies" I've known.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Ana54 - 05-08-2011 12:34 AM
sorry... I meant the ones that SAY they are social, high functioning, popular, etc. They seem to not have patience with the others or think they are better (and in that case they are bragging about it).
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - d_olson27 - 05-08-2011 12:40 AM
I see what you mean. I was reading your original post and thinking "is she talking about someone like me?"
Can't really say I've ever known any aspies who bragged about being social.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Some_Bloke - 05-08-2011 12:45 AM
^Nor have i, then again i don't know any other aspies who brag about anything, apart from Mrs Hughes being a bit** and how shite the school is.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - kevout2 - 05-08-2011 01:45 AM
This sounds like "NT-wannabeism". Such Aspies seem like, deep down, they hate themselves and are really insecure with themselves. And they really don't fare that well socially. The make fools of themselves in both the NT-world and the Aspie-world.
I've been like that before in earlier stages of my life. But looking back I ask myself, "Am I really better off for it?" It did not make me into the person that society has a natural liking of.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Genesis - 05-08-2011 03:15 AM
I thought I was the only one my whole life.... so no....
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - VulcanTourist - 05-08-2011 03:47 PM
^ Doesn't have the slightest hint of an excommunication complex. ;-)
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Shnoing - 05-08-2011 08:58 PM
I don't know any of those. I know that I am HF by definition, but I'm unable to tell whether I might be popular or social. If I count the number of friends I've got I might come to the conclusion that I'm not. How many Aspies do you meet?
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - VulcanTourist - 05-09-2011 02:46 AM
Working in the tech business and having a general knack for singling out the loner oddballs, I've met quite a few people who were almost certainly on that end of the spectrum, though none had 'expert' diagnoses at the time. Some of them probably do now, given the greater awareness of the label and willingness to diagnose it. Recalling the small group I called friends in college, at least one and perhaps two were likely Aspies. Me, I'm not popular or social, and don't go out of my way to be either. I don't manipulate people emotionally to gain favor or advantage.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - black butterfly - 05-09-2011 02:57 AM
ouch, ana, darlingk, i happen to be one of these social aspies.
speeking from a social aspie point of view, its like i am the rope in tog o rope
i identify as aspie but friends that i have told say that i seem "normal" but i cant tell if they are lying. at thae same time there are aspies who dont really see me as aspie either.
look, i more or less have no **** identity, when i am with aspies i feel like an nt, when im with nt's i feel aspie, you know what thats like. for a while my only comunity home was the lgbt community and even then.
i have been like that, yes, when i was elven i ditched all my aspie friends it was stupid, but i wanted to fit in somewhere. ive learnt from my mistakes. these aspies needto fit in some where and when they dont fit into the minority that they are ment to fit into they climb, and pretend to be nts. iknow what you are thinking, you think we arwe barbaric but we didnt know better. it was only when i found out that ladyhawke was aspie did i come back and actualy started to talk to aspies, when i knew we had some creeed that wasnt einstien and every other nerd that got lucky.
you know whats worse, were seen as the lucky ones, the ones who won the **** lottery. people see me, apparently i am pretty, and i am tall, im young, i can sing, aparently im smart, i dont give a *** about social status or anything, i dont care about labels. i am supposed to be liberated, well im not.
i remeber there was this guy - my age called thepandoricaopened and he ranted about how he hated aspies. i more or less bullied him for it than i actually looked at his life and i would be the same. he was bullied at school, his family werent cool with his aspie ness. for him it was conform or perish. he didnt know anybetter
and what did we (including myslef) do? we more or less bashed him. i remeber feeling so guilty.
people do that because they need to survive, survial always comes first, not neurodivercity. ana you are all for matryrdom but we arent. sorry. i care about nerurodivercity but im not gonna run of a cliff for it. kids who dont know about neurdivercity, and i mean neurodivercity that isnt compleatly parinoid etc, cant do anything else.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - black butterfly - 05-09-2011 03:08 AM
i have to live two lives, aspie life and nt life. figure that out. i havent muged them together yet. its easiser said than done
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - 142857 - 05-09-2011 03:09 AM
My aspie brother.... he was the first to suggest to me that my son might have aspergers syndrome (this was more than a year ago, and I was already starting to think that way myself). My brother would also mention people that he knew who appeared to have aspergers syndrome.
Then a few months ago we were talking about it again, after I was already certain that my son was an aspie and that I am autistic. I had assumed that my brother had considered that he might be an aspie himself, but when I mentioned it to him he was really taken aback. He is very sociable, has a lot of friends (mostly odd), and he simply assumed that because he was not at all introverted that he cannot possibly be an aspie.
Anyway, I showed him a couple of things to read and helped him look beyond the superficial stereotypes, and now he tells me that knowing that he has aspergers syndrome has actually helped him deal with some issues in his life and understand himself better.
He has always considered himself superior to most humans, simply because of his large brain and his intelligence. The problem is that he really is as smart as he thinks he is - a bit like Dr Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) in that regard. But he doesn't look down his nose at other aspies or autistics.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - black butterfly - 05-09-2011 03:11 AM
i dont think i am very smart, but i have felt like i have to be
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - VulcanTourist - 05-09-2011 03:44 AM
Being "smart" is a mixed blessing. It's comorbid with heightened awareness and other disorders that can make life with and around "average" people irritating. I want to throw a temper tantrum every time I go shopping and see what people do with shopping carts when they don't need them any more. Sheldon would understand perfectly, but trying to explain it to average types gets you only blank or angry stares.
If the producers and writers of Big Bang Theory wanted to make the show more insightful, they'd show more of Sheldon's private struggle with this, and flash-forward the show over his lifetime (maybe a one-time special?) to show how the effort dealing with the world eventually wears him down. Sheldon in his Fifties might be a very different outward personality.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - black butterfly - 05-09-2011 03:45 AM
i dont care about sheldon. why are we talking about sheldon.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - VulcanTourist - 05-09-2011 04:14 AM
Someone else used him as an example. I suppose I will never ever mention the chararacter again, knowing that it disinterests you so.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Ana54 - 05-09-2011 04:36 AM
I'm talking about the ones that think other Aspies are stupid or spoiled for not pretending to be something they are not (even in order to survive-- this is not the only way to survive; some people actually stand up for themselves), and treat NTs better than they treat Aspies. I don't know what's going on here and I don't care right now... but this is my statement, and that's that.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - black butterfly - 05-09-2011 05:02 AM
but some of these aspies DONT KNOW ABOUT OTHER WAYS TO SURVIVE! ana, if i didnt know about ladyhawke id be a different person, and for others a smal bit of info isnt enough. we shouldnt bash them we should empower them and show that there re betterways to deal with it. these aspies act that way because they need gratification, they say that they are amazing but deep down they hate themselfs (see thepandoricaopened he is a classic case of it.)
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Ana54 - 05-09-2011 08:58 AM
I never said they should be bashed, though I shouldn't have sounded like I was bashing them. I'm against aversives... including bashing. But they also should nto bash us, calling us spoiled brats or whatever.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - surrealgirl - 05-09-2011 04:17 PM
I'm aversive to the idea of high functioning aspieness, because I don't know what it means. I'm good at lecturing, bad at small groups, good at one to one with familiar people, terrible at one to one in trigger environments.
I share the frustration about the seeming goal being to behave as close to the broader cultural standard as possible. Nobody would ask that of any other minority, but we lose out because of biomedicalization--our difference is not perceived as a difference, but a problem that is seen behaviorally and can be "repaired" by forcing us to change our bodies and eradicate our difference. It's da**ed imperialism of the mind!!!!!
I am significantly more "functional" in a life with no in-person friends outside of my family, time at school to focus intensely on my interests, and limited timespans that demand social performativity of cultural norms. I even managed a department "party" with about 10 people at it (ok, I didn't bob and around and I talked only to one person at a time, but for me, it was good, and even mildly pleasant--I talked to a woman visiting from China about the use of the term sympathy in victiorian literature).
I know two dx'd aspies, and can think of two that are not--I have not been unkind to them, and they have not been unkind to me...that's how it usually is for me with people who are not the dominant group. A nod of recognition and back "into the breach."
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Shnoing - 05-16-2011 04:19 PM
As far as I've learned, that "pretending" is called the "persona", which you present to your colleagues/clients/whatever and which differs from your "real" self.
Obviously, you need not be your "real" self all the time. It seems that you need a lot of training to "build" a persona. As far as I've analyzed you should have started in your childhood.
To conclude: I'd think these "other Aspies" must have had bad luck.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - mels8780 - 05-04-2012 05:50 AM
I don't know about it being a trend enough but YES I have seen it... I'm tired of people saying that autistics are incapable or immune to even thinking of doing this type of behavior!
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Shnoing - 05-04-2012 10:03 PM
I haven't seen it. Why did you bump this thread? It was dormant for ALMOST one year!
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Genesis - 05-04-2012 10:22 PM
Why did you rebump it? ^
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - gilswitch16 - 05-07-2012 11:35 PM
i've only ever known one other aspie my entire life, who has gone on to become quite popular and i haven't seen him in years. i only have a small group of friends, whom even i dont reveal my AS to as it is something that i keep chained inside of me. but they all seem to suggest i'm normal, just very clumsy, always late, tries to be funny and fails hugely (which in itself is apparently quite funny to them) and a little...'special' i suppose.
however, i dont put down my fellow aspies and auties. i have an autistic younger cousin who has depended on me a lot in his life to be his friend, as he has none of his own. and i seem to have a lot of patience with him and understand him more than the rest of the family do, probably due to the fact i was a problem for my parents when i was a youngster and so i know exactly how he feels.
my NT younger brother often gets volatile with him, and wants nothing to do with him.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - gilswitch16 - 05-07-2012 11:44 PM
however, i dont put down my fellow aspies and auties. i have an autistic younger cousin who has depended on me a lot in his life to be his friend, as he has none of his own. and i seem to have a lot of patience with him and understand him more than the rest of the family do, probably due to the fact i was a problem for my parents when i was a youngster and so i know exactly how he feels.
my NT younger brother often gets volatile with him, and wants nothing to do with him.
so in that sense, i dont view NT's as any better than Aspie's or vice versa. i'm naturally introverted and dont try to be part of a larger group of friends by being someone i'm not.
but at the same time, i like to be open and get to know those who are like myself more. because i know that there are communities like this out there where we aren't affected by social ideals and influences from public opinion and the media.
i take a dislike to the superiority complex, whichever side it may endeavor.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - gilswitch16 - 05-07-2012 11:46 PM
however, i dont put down my fellow aspies and auties. i have an autistic younger cousin who has depended on me a lot in his life to be his friend, as he has none of his own. and i seem to have a lot of patience with him and understand him more than the rest of the family do, probably due to the fact i was a problem for my parents when i was a youngster and so i know exactly how he feels.
my NT younger brother often gets volatile with him, and wants nothing to do with him.
so in that sense, i dont view NT's as any better than Aspie's or vice versa. i'm naturally introverted and dont try to be part of a larger group of friends by being someone i'm not.
but at the same time, i like to be open and get to know those who are like myself more. because i know that there are communities like this out there where we aren't affected by social ideals and influences from public opinion and the media.
i take a dislike to the superiority complex, whichever side it may endeavor.
i apologize if this isn't relevant to this thread.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - skyblue1 - 05-08-2012 12:44 AM
They were nice responces
Welcome to AFF
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - gilswitch16 - 05-08-2012 09:04 PM
Welcome to AFF
thanks dude
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - windy - 05-08-2012 09:16 PM
Oh - that is an interesting and insightful comment...
oh-- persona - well if it works for them - it is a coping style...
using 'blending in' (etc.,) does not mean that they think worse/ or badly of others that do not though.
I do know what you mean though. TOTALLY. I do wish all people everywhere would just realize unless they walk in someone else's shoes, there is really no way to know what life is like for anyone - certainly being judged as stupid etc., for just being is awful!!
////I will go back and read the thread and not just the last few posts. I just read it is an old thread that was bumped. I am commenting based on Ana's post....
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Neue Ziel - 05-08-2012 09:27 PM
I've really only noticed this on the internet, but it is a thing. There's a small subset of people who treat aspergers like its a the cool kid club house and they are often the ones who will judge you, based on what you say, and claim "Nothing is wrong with you, I HAVE REAL PROBLEMS..you don't.".
I also notice they enjoy being miserable.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - 2Tone - 07-01-2012 04:40 PM
I don't do very well socially, but I do have friends and I'm not afraid to go out. I'm extremely understanding of others because in this world there is too much misunderstanding and misery out there and it deeply depresses me.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Krampus - 07-02-2012 05:56 AM
I've known a few aspies offline and that was years back. I consider myself to be high functioning and popular in that I'm a lot of people's weird friend but I can be a little impatient on occasion.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - sg1008 - 07-02-2012 06:30 AM
I can be social if I push myself, and its useful for volunteering etc....but I have found, unless it a controlled temporary environment (classroom, volunteer hours, etc) I can't manage to maintain friendships longterm (because at the end of the day, I like my alone time) - with the exception of one person. And also, because socializing includes a lot of restricting myself from talking about my interests, I've found people have no idea who I am, what I like to do, etc...they tend to think im like a really sincere person, slightly odd, eccentric, and childlike which I am, but they really know nothing more than that---very little or nothing about my interests, dreams, thought processes, impressions, ideas, etc.
Needless to say, I'm glad to have found other aspies! Also, rrather than feel superior, I feel I have more in common with folks with classic autism, because around autists/aspies I can be myself. And you know f*cking what??? My therapist noticed that although I am happier, and he doesn't wnat me to "justify" certain habits/behaviors now that i know I aspergers, and he seems to think my asperger-self (i have no idea how he is separating the two?) is a bad thing and that I am giving in to the "disorder" (i think he thinks that because I am acknowledging that I don't need more friends beyond what I have).
THAT^ is frustrating, and probably the mindset that aspies/HFAutists pick up on and then act on, thinking they are doing the right thing, but really its a load of BS.
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Gareth - 07-02-2012 06:32 AM
You haven't met me?
RE: I noticed that the Aspies who claim to be... - Some_Bloke - 07-02-2012 11:53 AM
You haven't met me?
I posted that a long time ago...
I tend to brag now
I also notice they enjoy being miserable
The "bad egg" aspies. Thanks to them there is massive trolling towards the rest of us. It's mostly them, that episode of South Park and the Aufinity project. While I have nothing against the project, I think it's a great idea it generates a lot of trolling towards the rest of us.
"We can't improve out current society, so we make a new one"- a summary of it.
Bad egg conspiracy theorists are also a thing, like people who put videos on youtube saying stuff like Elvis shot JFK, badly photoshopped images of things on the moon, mars and under the sea, they post videos saying stuff like the Illuminati killed Amy Whinehouse, Whitney Huseton ect.
As a result people think we ((conspiracy theorists)) are "braindead trolls"
Some theorists will start off by saying or showing you something believable like an image of a large object in space that looks like a ship. Then they'll go into something about the race, their name and show an image of what they might look like in paintings or a statue. Then the icing on the cake they say that they will come in 2012, kill everyone and select one male and female. Seriously man? You had something going, just talk about the object and people will actually believe you!
Why did I bring this up oh yes. There are often "bad eggs" who ruin it for everyone else, it happens with these kind of aspies and those kinds of theorists. As a result some people and the majority of the troll population believe that this is what they are really like and either mistreat or ignore the "real" ones.
Sometimes I believe that the "bad egg" aspies aren't even aspies and just trolls. The same with the "bad egg" conspiracy theorists.