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+--- Thread: Random bad advice (/showthread.php?tid=21588)
Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 04:24 AM
Since there seem to be some interest in bad advice
Always look through the barrel of a gun to see if it's really clean before using it.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 04:26 AM
running with scissors can only harm someone you run into
RE: Random bad advice - nialll - 02-09-2011 04:27 AM
drink solves everything
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 04:28 AM
Never look both ways before you cross the street.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 04:28 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Never look both ways before you cross the street.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 04:29 AM
three girlfriends at one time on valentines day, cant be a bad thing.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 04:29 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Never look both ways before you cross the street.
deja vu?
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 04:30 AM
Try the candy behind the bathroom mirror.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 04:31 AM
skyblue1 Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Never look both ways before you cross the street.
deja vu?
No, I just copied yours.
RE: Random bad advice - nialll - 02-09-2011 04:31 AM
skyblue1 Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Never look both ways before you cross the street.
deja vu?
thievery actually
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 04:31 AM
that M&M thats been sitting on the carpet for a month is still good
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 04:32 AM
If people leave their houses everyday, it's because they don't mind if you take it away from them.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 04:34 AM
Babies can take care themselves. No reason to bother getting up to do anything for them, really.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 04:38 AM
When a woman says "No, don't touch me!" she really wants you to have sex with her.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 04:39 AM
Your neighbors love listening to your drum practice.
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-09-2011 04:54 AM
Listen to everything that d_olson27 says. It's all true.
RE: Random bad advice - nialll - 02-09-2011 04:56 AM
look at semicolon's face.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 04:58 AM
nialll Wrote:
look at semicolon's face.
it doesnt have a face
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 05:01 AM
When you miscarry, flushing the baby down the toilet is considered a proper burial. Especially in Texas. The Texas gov will pay you money to flush your dead children down the toilet, as an incentive.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 05:02 AM
Semicolon Wrote:
Listen to everything that d_olson27 says. It's all true.
Ha!
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 05:04 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
Listen to everything that d_olson27 says. It's all true.
Ha!
thats just hard to top
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 05:05 AM
skyblue1 Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
Listen to everything that d_olson27 says. It's all true.
Ha!
thats just hard to top
Except by saying that everything Semicolon says is even more true.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 05:07 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
skyblue1 Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
Listen to everything that d_olson27 says. It's all true.
Ha!
thats just hard to top
Except by saying that everything Semicolon says is even more true.
well, yeah there is that
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 05:13 AM
If you can't afford to go to the police academy and don't qualify for a student loan, the thing to do is to prostitute, roll drunks, mug people and rob houses to make money.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 06:07 AM
The horn makes a great substitute for turn signals and breaks.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-09-2011 06:09 AM
so does the finger
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 06:11 AM
If you masturbate in public, others will start doing it too.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 06:15 AM
Wearing clothing is always optional, never mandatory.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 06:19 AM
Everybody Naked!
I bet there are no autistic nudist forum out there. That would make AFF more unique.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 06:19 AM
If you join a dojo and the sensei wants to use you to demonstrate a kick, you should always try to duck. (I might be the only one here that gets this one.)
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 03:47 PM
When you run out of meds, that means that you are cured.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-09-2011 04:38 PM
OK this is way better than my thread!
Just forget Valentine's day, your significant other probably thinks it has gotten too commercialized, too. A hearty handshake will suffice.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 05:13 PM
Your significant other will appreciate ypour criticism as constructive and not be hurt by it (even though you would be), so there is no need to be diplomatic and nice and not threaten to leave them. Manipulation is also okay. It's a form of dishonesty, but it is totally cool.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 07:56 PM
AspieMomma Wrote:
OK this is way better than my thread!
Yours is good too, but I think the titles got mixed up.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 08:07 PM
All people are sheep and look alike, so if one tells you you are selfish, useless or worthless, it's best to just commit suicide.
RE: Random bad advice - ArianiaAmy - 02-09-2011 08:14 PM
If a cat hisses at you and flexes her claws, grab it and console it right away!
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-09-2011 08:18 PM
ArianiaAmy Wrote:
If a cat hisses at you and flexes her claws, grab it and console it right away!
Then it will probably want a nice warm bath, cats love that.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-09-2011 08:49 PM
If someone does something you don't like, throw something at that person. That way, he/she'll learn.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 08:51 PM
AspieMomma Wrote:
ArianiaAmy Wrote:
If a cat hisses at you and flexes her claws, grab it and console it right away!
Then it will probably want a nice warm bath, cats love that.
They much prefer an ice cold bath.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-09-2011 08:51 PM
If you have a black widow spider in your garage, it is probably best to ignore it. I'm sure it hasn't invited all its poisonous friends or laid poisonous baby spider eggs.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 09:13 PM
It's best to step on that kind of spider and kill it, and it's best to use your bare feet, so that you don't get spider remains on your shoes.
RE: Random bad advice - nialll - 02-09-2011 09:22 PM
or you could eat it. then it'd be dead.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-09-2011 09:33 PM
Go to Heaven and make a U-turn
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-09-2011 10:04 PM
LOLOL! This is such a fun thread!
Aversives are the most effective and humane way of dealing with disobedience.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 10:47 PM
When cleaning, be sure to mix bleach with ammonia for extra effectiveness in killing germs.
WARNING: Due to the mixing of chemicals, as suggested is highly disapproved, due to its toxic nature of a little thing known as Sudden Death. In other words it can kill you so please don't do it.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 10:50 PM
Drinking and driving do not mix, so make sure to get all your drinking done first.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 10:58 PM
Duckfetishgirl Wrote:
When cleaning, be sure to mix bleach with ammonia for extra effectiveness in killing germs.
WARNING: Due to the mixing of chemicals, as suggested is highly disapproved, due to its toxic nature of a little thing known as Sudden Death. In other words it can kill you so please don't do it.
WARNING: Due to the mixing of chemicals, as suggested is highly disapproved, due to its toxic nature of a little thing known as Sudden Death. In other words it can kill you so please don't do it.
Thanks Genesis.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-09-2011 10:59 PM
Yep...
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 11:01 PM
Should probably just have an on-going disclaimer not to do anything mentioned in this thread. It is the bad advice thread, after all.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 11:05 PM
I was worried this might get mistaken for good advice thread.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-09-2011 11:06 PM
Exactly why should you not mix ammonia and bleach?
In a nutshell, the combination produces corrosive substances in your airways that cause your lungs to fill with fluid. You drown.
Household bleach is usually about 5% sodium hypochlorite (NaOCl).When mixed with ammonia (NH3), mono- and di-chloramines are formed: NH2Cl and NH2Cl2. These cause respiratory tract irritation, tearing, and nausea.
Worse, these compounds decompose in water to form ammonia gas (nasty in itself) and hypochlorous acid. This last in the presence of water forms hydrochloric acid and nascent (monoatomic) oxygen, which are highly reactive and can lead to pulmonary edema and pneumonia.
Don't mix bleach with phospate-based cleaners, either: that releases chlorine gas (quite nasty), which in water also produces hydrochloric and hypochlorous acids.
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-09-2011 11:09 PM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Should probably just have an on-going disclaimer not to do anything mentioned in this thread. It is the bad advice thread, after all.
Indeed. The advice that I offered in my first post in this thread is facetious, and it is best to do the opposite. I would be disturbed if anyone actually took what I said literally.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 11:10 PM
Good point. That one is believable enough to get special mention.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-09-2011 11:16 PM
Semicolon Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Should probably just have an on-going disclaimer not to do anything mentioned in this thread. It is the bad advice thread, after all.
Indeed. The advice that I offered in my first post in this thread is facetious, and it is best to do the opposite. I would be disturbed if anyone actually took what I said literally.
It was a good one, though. By the way, do you realize that you just made a paradox?
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-09-2011 11:22 PM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Should probably just have an on-going disclaimer not to do anything mentioned in this thread. It is the bad advice thread, after all.
Indeed. The advice that I offered in my first post in this thread is facetious, and it is best to do the opposite. I would be disturbed if anyone actually took what I said literally.
It was a good one, though. By the way, do you realize that you just made a paradox?
Indeed. You created a paradox, as well.
d_olson27 Wrote:
Good point. That one is believable enough to get special mention.
RE: Random bad advice - Mud - 02-09-2011 11:27 PM
driving without your lights on at night saves gas.
RE: Random bad advice - morty - 02-09-2011 11:28 PM
A pair of paradonges.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 12:16 AM
Leave the JRC parents alone. They have the right to abuse their children.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-10-2011 12:27 AM
A strip club makes a great place for a first date.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-10-2011 12:28 AM
When in doubt whip it out.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 12:47 AM
Airport security, including the confiscation of anything a passenger can use to defend himself, is for our own good.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-10-2011 12:47 AM
Semicolon Wrote:
Indeed. You created a paradox, as well.
d_olson27 Wrote:
Good point. That one is believable enough to get special mention.
That one was meant for Duckfetishgirl.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 12:52 AM
Autism causes you not to think so well, so listen to the NTs. They know what they're talking about.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-10-2011 03:38 AM
Stimming is wierd. Never do it.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 03:48 AM
If you flap your hands, you will go to hell.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-10-2011 03:55 AM
Your boss won't mind if you call in sick every time you buy a new video game.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 03:59 AM
Don't eat. Eating is not a natural thing, since it requires effort.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-10-2011 04:22 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Your boss won't mind if you call in sick every time you buy a new video game.
amen
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-10-2011 04:24 AM
When you are going through a customs check, be like the man in front of me yesterday in Melbourne. Talk loudly on your handphone when you are at the front of the queue and repeatedly refuse the instructions of the customs officers. Then when the customs officer takes the next person in the queue to be checked you should then finish your phone call and yell loudly "So now I'm going to get f***ed over because I was on the f***ing phone".
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-10-2011 04:25 AM
Don't worry about checking whether that expensive kopi luwak you bought as a gift for a friend is allowed to be brought into Australia.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-10-2011 04:25 AM
Because we're aspie, it is always someone else's job to feed and clothe us. We're entitled.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-10-2011 04:29 AM
If you are living in a big 3rd world city you should wear an expensive Gold Rolex and walk around the streets with your sleeves rolled up so that all the poor people can be impressed.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-10-2011 05:10 AM
It is always best to leave things like school work to the last minute.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 05:16 AM
The best thing to wash down your meds with is Vodka. The more the better, since liquid is needed to wash it all the way down.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-10-2011 05:57 AM
If you have a disagreement with your significant other, the only reasonable way to resolve it is with a fight to the death.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 05:59 AM
It is more humane to say someone is posessed by the devil than it is to say they are an Aspie.
RE: Random bad advice - Biologymajor91 - 02-10-2011 06:09 AM
Use your backpack/purse as a shopping cart before you pay for your products.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 04:31 PM
It's best to wear baggy clothes to school because it looks like you have have something hidden underneath them and it will scare off your enemies. And if you actually sneak any weapons in, like knives, make sure thye're small enough to fit in your mouth... an ideal place to hide them. Or in any other cavity.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-10-2011 08:49 PM
Why be with one girl when you can be with more? If there's one thing porn has taught us, it's that women love that kind of thing.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-10-2011 11:12 PM
Having a mistress will make you more desirable to your wife because your needs will be met and you will be happy.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-15-2011 10:25 PM
Read the random thought TMI version thread
RE: Random bad advice - poot - 02-15-2011 10:29 PM
Ana54 Wrote:
Having a mistress will make you more desirable to your wife because your needs will be met and you will be happy.
Not so?
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 02-15-2011 10:33 PM
Borrow a friend's wedding ring to pick up a date.
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-15-2011 10:33 PM
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Read the random thought TMI version thread
Indeed.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-15-2011 10:39 PM
Do not support the campaign to ban dihydro monoxide.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-15-2011 10:44 PM
Always burn trash and brush on a windy day, it will blow all the smoke out of your yard.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-15-2011 10:47 PM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Do not support the campaign to ban dihydro monoxide.
Uh...isn't that water? I'm confused.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-15-2011 10:50 PM
AspieMomma Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Do not support the campaign to ban dihydro monoxide.
Uh...isn't that water? I'm confused.
Please read the following facts.
*Dihydro monoxide was found at every recent school shooting
* it is called "hydroxyl acid", the substance is the major component of acid rain.
*contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
*may cause severe burns.
*is fatal if inhaled.
*contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
*accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
*may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
*has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients
RE: Random bad advice - black butterfly - 02-16-2011 12:37 AM
sleep around with randoms, it makes the gene pool more diverse so we dont become inbread
RE: Random bad advice - black butterfly - 02-16-2011 12:38 AM
it doesnt matter, you were ging to die anyway.
RE: Random bad advice - black butterfly - 02-16-2011 12:39 AM
if you want to be like jesus, hangout with more prostitutes!
RE: Random bad advice - Hyperspace51 - 02-16-2011 01:09 AM
^Good one!
When someone tells you to lay down your arms, pull your index finger towards you.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 02-16-2011 01:14 AM
ratburgers are a good source of nutrition
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 02-16-2011 01:35 AM
Having a cigarette is a good antidote to a mild asthma flare up.
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 02-16-2011 01:47 AM
kevout2 Wrote:
Having a cigarette is a good antidote to a mild asthma flare up.
yes it will help you cough up your lungs....you dont need lungs anyway
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-16-2011 04:33 AM
piePIEpie Wrote:
AspieMomma Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Do not support the campaign to ban dihydro monoxide.
Uh...isn't that water? I'm confused.
Please read the following facts.
*Dihydro monoxide was found at every recent school shooting
* it is called "hydroxyl acid", the substance is the major component of acid rain.
*contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
*may cause severe burns.
*is fatal if inhaled.
*contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
*accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
*may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
*has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients
All of that is true. It's also water.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-16-2011 04:40 AM
If you are looking for street food in the 3rd world, always go to a stall that has no customers. That way you will get served faster.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-16-2011 07:17 AM
To lose your virginity painlessly, burn your hymen out with a hot poker. the normal way hurts so we need to find another way like the example I gave.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-17-2011 03:38 AM
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-17-2011 03:42 AM
Law of Godwin!
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-17-2011 05:48 AM
It's only polite to laugh at things that you don't find funny, because everyone else wants people to find their speeches funny and laugh at them, especially at a funeral or in court.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-17-2011 06:44 AM
You can win almost any debate by bringing Hitler into it.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-17-2011 08:09 AM
When someone stomps on your toes, it means they are trying to pin you in place so that they can make out with you because thye think you're hot. It's best in this case to initiate the making-out... and if you stomp on the toes of your crush, you will soon be making out with him!
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-17-2011 11:02 PM
Genesis Wrote:
Law of Godwin!
That only applies to debates.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-17-2011 11:49 PM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Genesis Wrote:
Law of Godwin!
That only applies to debates.
The "law of Godwin" is merely a prediction that once Hitler and the nazis are brought up, nothing constructive will come from the thread. It's not an argument.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-17-2011 11:55 PM
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Genesis Wrote:
Law of Godwin!
That only applies to debates.
The "law of Godwin" is merely a prediction that once Hitler and the nazis are brought up, nothing constructive will come from the thread. It's not an argument.
Nope
that's nots godwins law.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-17-2011 11:59 PM
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-18-2011 12:50 AM
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 02-18-2011 12:53 AM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
In what way does that make you win?
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 02-18-2011 01:03 AM
Always have/consume lots of sugary food/drinks immediately before or in the presence of company. Especially if that company involves important business moves.
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-18-2011 01:06 AM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
No, I win.
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-18-2011 01:07 AM
AspieGrrl Wrote:
Always have/consume lots of sugary food/drinks immediately before or in the presence of company. Especially if that company involves important business moves.
This also applies to alcohol.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-18-2011 01:09 AM
Semicolon Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
No, I win.
Is that a reflex statement?
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-18-2011 01:10 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
No, I win.
Is that a reflex statement?
Yes. It is also a reflection of the fact that I win every thread, even those without games.
RE: Random bad advice - piePIEpie - 02-18-2011 01:17 AM
Semicolon Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
No, I win.
Is that a reflex statement?
Yes. It is also a reflection of the fact that I win every thread, even those without games.
Nazi...
RE: Random bad advice - Semicolon - 02-18-2011 02:38 AM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
Semicolon Wrote:
piePIEpie Wrote:
Lucid lunacy Wrote:
Wikipedia Wrote:
There are many corollaries to Godwin's law, some considered more canonical (by being adopted by Godwin himself)[3] than others.[1] For example, there is a tradition in many newsgroups and other Internet discussion forums that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically "lost" whatever debate was in progress. This principle itself is frequently referred to as Godwin's law. It is considered poor form to raise such a comparison arbitrarily with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized corollary that any such ulterior-motive invocation of Godwin's law will be unsuccessful.[7]
Do I win?
No, I win.
Is that a reflex statement?
Yes. It is also a reflection of the fact that I win every thread, even those without games.
Nazi...
piePIEpie called me a Nazi. Therefore, I win.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-18-2011 02:39 AM
Just don't mention the boncentration bamps.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 02-18-2011 05:40 AM
Just 'cause you talk like you have a cold doesn't mean I can't tell you're talking about some kind of ramp Momma!
(Seriously though, that's not all that funny - coming from someone who has researched some of this stuff since 2nd grade. To tell the truth it's kind of depressing)
My Advice- Always tell blonde jokes to blonde people.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-18-2011 06:00 AM
piePIEpie Wrote:
Genesis Wrote:
Law of Godwin!
That only applies to debates.
So is the picture
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-18-2011 06:03 AM
No, we can totally turn this thread away from Nazis. Go ahead and risk your sanity on it.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-18-2011 06:07 AM
Horses love surprises, you should always sneak up on them.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-18-2011 06:09 AM
AspieMomma Wrote:
Horses love surprises, you should always sneak up on them.
Just like pulling a gun on a vet. It's fun.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-18-2011 06:21 AM
d_olson27 Wrote:
AspieMomma Wrote:
Horses love surprises, you should always sneak up on them.
Just like pulling a gun on a vet. It's fun.
Yeah, they love to remember the wars, particularly the violent parts. If they start shaking and rocking, then they're really enjoying some fond memories, so you should keep at it!
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-18-2011 06:30 AM
A good thing to do that will help a veteran warm up to you is to sneak up on him and put your hands around his neck and say "Guess who!" Film his reaction; it's priceless!
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-18-2011 06:32 AM
Just in case anyone missed what's going on: This is the bad advice thread. Don't do this!
Back to the bad advice. High voltage signs are just for show. Don't worry about them.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieMomma - 02-18-2011 06:37 AM
Speed limits are also merely suggestions.
Don't mow your lawn, your neighbors can't stand the noise. Just let nature take its course!
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-18-2011 06:48 AM
If you do get pulled over for speeding, you should tell the policeman a relevant joke. Like "What's got 4 legs and an a**hole half way up its back? A police horse!!!", or "What's the difference between a police car and a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside!!!". The policeman will probably be laughing so much he will let you off with a caution.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-18-2011 07:19 AM
142857 Wrote:
If you do get pulled over for speeding, you should tell the policeman a relevant joke. Like "What's got 4 legs and an a**hole half way up its back? A police horse!!!", or "What's the difference between a police car and a porcupine? A porcupine has pricks on the outside!!!". The policeman will probably be laughing so much he will let you off with a caution.
Better yet, floor it! You can totally get away, and will not end up on one of those chase shows.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-24-2011 06:39 AM
Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-24-2011 06:43 AM
142857 Wrote:
Lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
And to be extra certain it doesn't hit you, you might want to shelter yourself with an umbrella.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-24-2011 06:54 AM
Preferably an umbrella with a metal handle.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 02-24-2011 07:02 AM
And you should probably be wearing metal cleats to keep yourself off the ground a little.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 02-24-2011 07:21 AM
Even if you are standing on a hill during a thunderstorm, with a nice metal umbrella, you are totally safe if you are wearing shoes with rubber soles.
RE: Random bad advice - Kapkao - 02-24-2011 08:46 AM
*very* bad advice: express a sexual desire in one of your siblings...
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 02-24-2011 04:57 PM
If you walk in on a brother and sister having sex, it is safe to assume that they are biologial siblings, or they wouldn't have closed the door.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-24-2011 05:01 PM
There will be no talks of incest in the Bad Advice forum!
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 02-24-2011 05:09 PM
As Steve Martin once said, many people get in trouble because they forget the two simple words "I forgot."
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-24-2011 05:10 PM
Thats a lesson for all of you "The Steve Martin Philosophy"
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 02-24-2011 05:33 PM
King Tut was not born in Egypt. He was born in Arizona and moved to Babylonia. I guess sometime later he ended up in Egypt.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 02-24-2011 07:16 PM
Martha Stewart was born a man.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 04-20-2011 12:16 AM
When you go hunting, put on a moose head so you blend in more with your surroundings.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 04-20-2011 02:04 AM
Let your kids play ball in traffic.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-20-2011 03:38 AM
It's best to vandalize your own stuff so that nobody will want to steal it.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 04-20-2011 04:11 AM
Allow a pedophile to babysit your kids for free. Saves money!
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 04-20-2011 06:50 AM
Scream at you teacher during class. For no reason. They'll give you chocolate.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 04-20-2011 07:10 AM
Dark alleys make great shortcuts in dangerous neighborhoods.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-21-2011 01:34 AM
Killing a person is a good way to get rid of them and assure you never have to think or talk about them again.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 04-21-2011 06:00 AM
Ana54 Wrote:
Killing a person is a good way to get rid of them and assure you never have to think or talk about them again.
And keep their head in the freezer - like Idi Amin did with people he had killed - so that you can bring it out at dinner parties as a conversation piece. You'll find that your friends and acquaintances will go out of their way to be nice to you and to not make you upset with them in future.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-21-2011 06:11 AM
A child doesn't have feelings and can't feel pain or fear until after their trip down the birth canal.
RE: Random bad advice - Lestat - 04-21-2011 07:20 AM
If a child chokes on an ice cube, just pour boiling water down its throat
And Ana, nothing wrong with killing somebody who really, really pisses you off, sometimes people bloody well deserve it.
Never actually (knowingly) killed anybody, although I have messed somebody up a couple of times enough to come really, really close.
RE: Random bad advice - johnH - 04-21-2011 08:05 AM
(·—·) express all incestual sexual desires, to said relatives.
take road signs very seriously…
ignore warning labels on medicine…
‹(·—·)› go to the doctor about things like ear infection…[the opposite of good advice as is the oposite advice, but that's because they don't give out medicine… without prescription.]
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-21-2011 05:05 PM
@ Les: But then you have to go to court n talk about the disgusting person again and then stay for life in the SHU (do they have those where you are?) and having to talk abou the person in court... I suppose you could refuse to talk about them to anyone else unless you want to tho... I have thought about murdering certain classmates actually... never did it or even harmed them... never stood up for msyelf... grrrr...
Bad advice: If a person gets burned, put dry ice on it... it's about the coldest thing there is and will stop the person from getting more burned.
RE: Random bad advice - Lestat - 04-21-2011 07:41 PM
That all depends on how you do the deed, Ana.
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 04-21-2011 07:45 PM
When somebody is trying to hurt you (whether physical or verbal), just turn the other cheek rather than resist. The bully might realize how nice and gentle you are and stop bothering you for there's no resistance to challenge him and that would be boring.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-21-2011 08:04 PM
Les: Yeah, I suppose if someone attacked me and nobody else was on that street I could just attack him and just walk away.
Bad advice: Letting go of your children includes not jumping into the pool and rescuing them when they flail around and shout that they are drowning. They need to learn independence.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:49 PM
Don't clean up after your dog if walking in a fine zone, the fine is actually for if you are caught picking it up, not leaving it.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:51 PM
Dog's love babies, espically if they are vicious, make sure you leave them in a room together unsupervised.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:53 PM
Remember always swim in waters where Portugese man of war have been spotted.[the most deadly jellyfish in the world, one sting will kill].
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:55 PM
Also remember to swim or surf alone at night in shark- infested waters, also be drunk and naked, like the woman at the start of "Jaws" remember it's only a film, no sharks attack in real life, not ever.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:57 PM
Polar bears are like living teddy bears, you can go up and cuddle them all you like, they won't bite you or harm you in any other way, they love people.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 10:58 PM
Vote 4 Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems, they never break promises and are great people.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-23-2011 11:03 PM
Never wear clothes in public, always stick you head in an oven and try to kill people.
Also why not wear that Middle eastern clothing that only shows your eyes in France even though they have banned them. Always give piggy back rides to elephants and if you ever travel to the past, remember mess with it.
RE: Random bad advice - ForgottenMist - 04-24-2011 02:58 AM
You should seek a snake and hold it. Then hug it!
!
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 04-25-2011 01:49 AM
Havew unprotected sex with Paris Hilton
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 04-25-2011 07:24 AM
Some_Bloke Wrote:
Remember always swim in waters where Portugese man of war have been spotted.[the most deadly jellyfish in the world, one sting will kill].
The box jellyfish is much deadlier than the Portugese Man-Of-War. A good sting can kill you in 3 minutes.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 04-25-2011 07:26 AM
kevout2 Wrote:
When somebody is trying to hurt you (whether physical or verbal), just turn the other cheek rather than resist. The bully might realize how nice and gentle you are and stop bothering you for there's no resistance to challenge him and that would be boring.
The sad thing is that that was the only advice I ever got for dealing with bullies. And that is still the most common advice given out by adults.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-25-2011 07:27 AM
142857 Wrote:
Some_Bloke Wrote:
Remember always swim in waters where Portugese man of war have been spotted.[the most deadly jellyfish in the world, one sting will kill].
The box jellyfish is much deadlier than the Portugese Man-Of-War. A good sting can kill you in 3 minutes.
True, but people seem to be more scared of the Man-Of-War.
RE: Random bad advice - Lucid lunacy - 04-25-2011 07:33 AM
A jellybean diet is always your best bet to stay as healthy as possible.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 04-25-2011 07:38 AM
Hold your breath for long periods of time right after running, especially if you're asthmatic like me.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 04-25-2011 07:55 AM
The best place to practice front flips is in a deconstruction zone. The ground is easier to jump off of because it doesn't have much give, and if you make a mistake, there's plenty of debris to break your fall.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-25-2011 09:04 AM
142857 Wrote:
kevout2 Wrote:
When somebody is trying to hurt you (whether physical or verbal), just turn the other cheek rather than resist. The bully might realize how nice and gentle you are and stop bothering you for there's no resistance to challenge him and that would be boring.
The sad thing is that that was the only advice I ever got for dealing with bullies. And that is still the most common advice given out by adults.
I really hope Jack won't be that way with Lars... turning him into either a doormat or a rat.
Bad advice: What is in your head doesn't exist.
RE: Random bad advice - Lestat - 04-26-2011 05:10 PM
Box jellyfish are dangerous, sure, sea wasps are nasty buggers and have an impressive length of tentacles, so sheer surface area can give a hell of a sting. As far as venom potency goes though, the irukanji, Carukia barnesi, although a couple of others have been implicated in the irukanji-type envenomation syndrome, such as Malo kingi, and one or two others, makes Chironex venom look like a dry bite from a mildly irritated red knee'ed tarantula, it won't kill you anywhere near as quickly, but most likely the victim won't even feel the sting itself.
The jellies are TINY, no bigger than a thumbnail at the largest and go straight through the protective nets they use in jellyfish infested areas, the pic I'll post in a sec shows one compared to a match head, and its not much bigger. They have just four tentacles, rather than the great clumps of a Chironex box jellyfish, and most unusually for a jellyfish, they also have the stinging nematocysts on the bell itself, I know of no other jellyfish which does. Carukia barnesi, although I'm not sure about the Malo species, one of its tentacles can be retracted, like a cat's claw, I'm not sure if all four tentacles sting, but that may just mean it only has a single tentacle capable of delivering venom, most likely all of them are though. I'm sure not poking one to find out
With Chironex fleckeri, the most imfamous of the box jellyfish, they grow to about the size of a melon, and apparently it takes contact with around 6 meters, perhaps as much as 8 depending on the individual person's constitution and general health to kill, but they do have large clumps of a great many, thick tentacles so can deliver a substantial amount of venom, indeed a massive quantity in comparison to Malo kingi and Carukia barnesi, which have just four tentacles, which may be as short as 50mm long.
The sting isn't a rapidly acting cardiotoxin like Chironex, and some of the nastier Chiropsalmus spp. which are fairly similar, but the venom of both acts on sodium channels, with Chironex toxins, there are at least two seperate venom peptides, one a haemolytic toxin, the other causes a huge influx of sodium ions into the heart, which results in the same happening with calcium, which causes arrythmia and cardiac arrest, that, and the pain being capable of causing swimmers stung to drown before they can reach the shore again is why the box jelly is so dangerous. I reckon the irukanji is far, far nastier though, interesting mode of action as far as the venom goes, acting on voltage gated sodium channels, as does the Chironex, but not selective for cardiac tissue, opening the Na+ channel, causing spontaneous, uncontrolled repetitive firing of nerves, and resulting in a truly massive adrenaline release, which causes blood pressure to spike so high that aside from agonizing muscle spasms, its capable of causing tachycardias and/or arrythmias, brain haemorrhage and pulmonary oedema.
Since the tachycardia/cardiac muscle contraction has experimentally been reduced by tetrodotoxin (how ironic, no? TTX is puffer fish poison/blue ringed octopus venom) I am guessing that irukanji venom binds the TTX-sensitive voltage gated Na+channel, which interestingly, is little present in the heart itself, so quite possibly its acting peripherally on the body in general and that massive activation of the sympathetic nervous system ends up putting the heart in overdrive, although I might be on the wrong track there, but my theory is based on the fact that TTX-sensitive Na channels are found on nerve cells throughout the body, whilst the heart mainly expresses a TTX-resistant sodium ion channel type, which is why, in the case of those daft buggers that eat fugu, the japanese sushi delicacy made from very, very carefully sliced and prepared, but otherwise lethally toxic puffer fish, in cases where the chef gets it wrong, the victim is completely paralyzed, but without causing the heart to stop.
Thats actually quite a similar method of action as the notorious ozzie funnelweb spiders of the Atrax and the tree funnelwebs, Hadronyche spp, they also cause a sympathetic nervous system storm, like the irukanji, and likewise cause massive release of adrenaline, noradrenaline and acetylcholine, a fair few scorpions do the same.
Thats the irukanji, or one of the species causing the irukanji envenomation syndrome above.
And this, is the most commonly known and downright imfamous box jellyfish, Chironex fleckeri
See how much potential for venom discharge compared with the irukanji? considering the lethality of the myotoxins and cardiotoxin in Chironex venom in relation to the tentacle length/number and thus possible maximum amount of venom yield (and the approximate fatal contact length of tentacle beng 6-8 meters or so) the venom of C.barnesi and M.kingi must be phenomenally potent on a weight basis.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 04-26-2011 05:57 PM
[Bad Advice]Funnel Web spiders make great pets[/Bad Advice]
Funnel Web spiders scare me the most, especially since I am sleeping on the floor at a friend's house in prime Funnel Web spider territory. I know they are around, I saw one walking across the footpath a few weeks ago on my walk back from shopping.
I've scooped them off the bottom of the swimming pool in a leaf basket, shaken them out on the ground, and they'll rear up ready to attack. They can survive quite some time underwater. Also if you step on one it just p*sses them off - people I know who have stepped on them by accident say that it feels like stepping on a pebble. They are aggressive and won't back down from a disagreement. Their fangs are long enough and sharp enough to go right through a human's fingernail.
The blue ringed octopus we have in Sydney has a similar venom by the sound of it to the puffer fish. It paralyses all your voluntary muscles - including breathing - but not your heart. And you are fully conscious as well - you can see and hear everything that is going on, but you can't even blink your eyes to communicate. The poison has no other ill effects, so in theory if you can keep fresh air going into a victim's lungs until the poison passes through their system they will be okay.
RE: Random bad advice - Lestat - 04-26-2011 06:07 PM
Similar? no. It is identical. Tetrodotoxin, blocks sodium channels, preventing nerves from depolarizing and firing their action potential, acts as a paralysing agent. It was known as maculotoxin in the octopi, but later discovered to be identical to tetrodotoxin. TTX is also found in newts of the genus Taricha (some cretin died actually after swallowing one for a bet...deserved it if you ask me, for the animal cruelty), otherwise its found in some toads of the genus Atelopus, certain marine worms, and something to do with horseshoe crabs, I believe in the eggs, not sure if its in the flesh also.
I actually want a funnelweb, one of the Atrax genus though rather than Hadronyche, as the latter are arboreal and probably harder to manage as pets/harder to care for. I want a mouse spider more though (Missulena species)
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-27-2011 12:26 AM
Anacondas [worlds biggest snake. For more info, look it up in wikipedia] make great pets also, when they put their mouth over you head, legs or arms ect, it means that they want to play, not to eat you.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 04-28-2011 08:38 PM
Run around buck-naked, you'll never get in trouble with the law for that. In fact they sometimes encourage it.
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-28-2011 08:42 PM
Do crazy things so that you won't have to work again. They'll either give you $800 a month, or they'll take you to a nice place where you'll get to sit around all day and relax.
It doesn't matter that you get a record; you'll never need a job or a visit to another country... everyhting you need is right where you are!
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 04-29-2011 03:44 AM
Is it just me, or did Ana make a little too much sense on that one?
RE: Random bad advice - Ana54 - 04-29-2011 04:31 AM
(Well, it's a bad idea if your son is in another country.)
Hmmm... more bad advice... you have to help people dying in the street but you can kill them trying to help them and not get charged. [Actually, the good simaritan laws in some places do state this.]
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-30-2011 07:56 PM
If a zombie apocalapse happens, do the same things you did before it happened [live your life the same way] and stay in the city, where there are many of the undead.
Sorry but cannot stop thinking about "The Walking dead"
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 04-30-2011 09:59 PM
If aliens invade, run in front of their death rays and remember to try and peeve them off.
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 05-30-2011 05:20 PM
Texas is the friendliest place on earth if you're non-Christian, non-white, gay or non-Republican. Sarah Palin, you should vote for her teaparty in the elections.
Sorry, this may offend someone but it isn't very friendly to these people.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 05-31-2011 06:26 AM
Always argue with your parents, it'll make them more submissive and therefore more willing to take your side. It's not like they'll get mad at you or anything.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 06-07-2011 01:53 AM
Scream for no reason to test if anyone will actually come when something goes wrong.
RE: Random bad advice - 142857 - 06-07-2011 02:11 AM
Tell lies to people and then tease them for being dumb enough to believe you. Then when you tell the truth, and people say they don't believe you, act all offended. This will force people to respect you.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 06-07-2011 02:17 AM
Go on summer hikes without water, the extra weight will slow you down. With heat like that, the water will just evaporate, anyway.
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 06-07-2011 02:50 AM
Don't worry about water when you take a boat trip out to sea. There'll be water all around you.
RE: Random bad advice - Simon91 - 06-07-2011 02:55 AM
Bikers love it when you urinate in their helmets, so do that if possible.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 08-15-2011 06:53 AM
RE: Random bad advice - Alison - 08-15-2011 08:07 AM
This is something I overheard once at a bus stop: two young girls talking about boyfriends and one of them going on about it being her first time.
"Oh, you're not on the pill?" Says her friend. "Don't worry, I'll give you one of mine!"
Alison
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 08-15-2011 08:26 PM
Marry your worst enemy. Give them all the passwords to your accounts and financial inormation.
RE: Random bad advice - Vampslord - 08-15-2011 10:14 PM
Fork fit perfectly into electrical outlet. They make a nice mini-firework display. It's fun for the whole familly!
RE: Random bad advice - Vampslord - 08-15-2011 10:17 PM
If you ever meet some guys from New-York or New-Jersey name Tony or Pauli, tell them your mama joke they love these joke!
RE: Random bad advice - Kapkao - 08-15-2011 10:39 PM
Sometimes, on a really stressful day, it's a relief to get on a elevator and go all the to the roof level of a skyscraper, then pretend you're actually spiderman and about to rescue someone in imminent danger of criminal behavior.
RE: Random bad advice - stella_rose - 08-19-2011 02:34 PM
"The boys hit you because they like you"
"If you act more ladylike you won't be bullied"
"Just ignore them"
Was actually told these when I was a kid. Gave me some very toxic ideas about relating to people.
"You need to change"
All other people are so lazy or limited that they can't learn to act like competent adults
for a few minutes, but I can take my brain apart and rebuild it. I always have to be the
grown-up because nobody else can.
"Be nice"
Yea, if I just did better at taking care of my abusers the abuse wouldn't happen.
RE: Random bad advice - Alison - 08-19-2011 02:45 PM
stella_rose Wrote:
"Just ignore them"
Was actually told these when I was a kid. Gave me some very toxic ideas about relating to people.
Was actually told these when I was a kid. Gave me some very toxic ideas about relating to people.
Yeah, I got told that one as well. What I found out, however, was that in practise the thing NTs hate above all else is to be ignored. And they will up the ante every time if you try, until you're a bloodied pulp on the ground.
And if anyone in authority (teachers, for instance) bothers to come over and find out why you are lying there oozing messily all over the quadrangle, somehow the fast-talking NTs manage to make you look to blame entirely.
It was amazing how much I got left alone when I began to get good at Taekwondo.
Alison
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 08-24-2011 04:33 AM
When you meet a new girl that you like, just be as nice and accomodating to her as you can be. Surprise her randomly with roses, chocolates and trinkets. She's sure to fall in love with you for your kindness and generosity.
RE: Random bad advice - Greginjersey - 08-24-2011 05:29 AM
spend all your money now god forbid you should ever have a need for it some day splurge on a new game system or ipad or anything over $500.00
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 08-25-2011 07:56 AM
kevout2 Wrote:
When you meet a new girl that you like, just be as nice and accomodating to her as you can be. Surprise her randomly with roses, chocolates and trinkets. She's sure to fall in love with you for your kindness and generosity.
and if she tells you to stop doing that. she's just playing hard to get and wants you to pursue her further.
RE: random thoughts - AspieGrrl - 08-25-2011 09:11 AM
Duckfetishgirl Wrote:
kevout2 Wrote:
When you meet a new girl that you like, just be as nice and accomodating to her as you can be. Surprise her randomly with roses, chocolates and trinkets. She's sure to fall in love with you for your kindness and generosity.
and if she tells you to stop doing that. she's just playing hard to get and wants you to pursue her further.
I have problems accepting gifts, usually. But usually just applies to gifts in the 'trinket' category. Not all of them, but definitely most. If she were me, It'd be the kindness, not the generosity.
just a thought
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 08-25-2011 09:16 AM
Tell your boss what you really think of him/her. He/she will appreciate the constructive criticism.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 08-25-2011 08:50 PM
Feed the Trolls Lobster and Steak and they will leave you alone.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 08-25-2011 08:58 PM
If a machine jams up, try to feel around for what's wrong. It's easier to find if you leave it running.
RE: Random bad advice - Alison - 08-25-2011 10:52 PM
d_olson27 Wrote:
If a machine jams up, try to feel around for what's wrong. It's easier to find if you leave it running.
*o*
Alison
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 08-25-2011 11:10 PM
Alison Wrote:
d_olson27 Wrote:
If a machine jams up, try to feel around for what's wrong. It's easier to find if you leave it running.
*o*
Alison
lol
RE: Random bad advice - skyblue1 - 09-01-2011 02:43 AM
Toilet Cleaning Instructions:
1. Put seat and lid of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and 'rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the seat and lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely,
The Dog
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 09-01-2011 08:03 PM
Stick sharp objects into your ears, they're very good for cleaning out excessive earwax.
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 09-01-2011 08:16 PM
If you're trying to lose weight, eat all the raw beef you please. You'll become a host for beef tapeworms inside your intestines and the worms will siphon off the calories.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 09-01-2011 08:22 PM
Peanut allergies are a conspiracy!!!!
If your Doc told you that you have a peanut allergy, blatantly ignore it. Don't let THEM win!
RE: Random bad advice - Some_Bloke - 09-02-2011 06:03 PM
See the "funny jokes" thread, the smilie has it's toung sticking out.
If you're a bloke, be sure to use those chat-up lines. On a male or female.
Same goes for girls.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 09-06-2011 07:56 AM
Soap tastes exactly what it smells like.
RE: Random bad advice - Duckfetishgirl - 09-07-2011 06:58 AM
Give your cats milk to drink.
RE: Random bad advice - d_olson27 - 09-07-2011 07:40 AM
Whenever you're practicing karate with a partner, it's always good to punch your partner in the face a few times, even if it's not part of the combination you're practicing, just to show them who's better.
RE: Random bad advice - diolinda - 09-08-2011 03:26 PM
Random bad (but funny) advice from the book House Rules, by Jodi Picoult
From the archives of Auntie Em:
Dear Auntie Em,
What do you do if all signs point to the fact that the world as you know it is going to come to a crashing halt?
Sincerely,
Humpty Dumpty Was-Pushed
Dear Humpty,
HELP!
Love,
Auntie Em
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 09-08-2011 03:35 PM
Wheres Waldo!?! oh.... (Waldo is the guy across the street)
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 09-08-2011 05:36 PM
Genesis Wrote:
Wheres Waldo!?! oh.... (Waldo is the guy across the street)
It's in Maine. (Ha-ha) I'm referring to Waldo County, Maine.
RE: Random bad advice - Genesis - 09-08-2011 05:54 PM
kevout2 Wrote:
Genesis Wrote:
Wheres Waldo!?! oh.... (Waldo is the guy across the street)
It's in Maine. (Ha-ha) I'm referring to Waldo County, Maine.
lol!
RE: Random bad advice - shrinkingviolet - 09-08-2011 06:32 PM
I got this off Grouchy Rabbit:
When you sneeze or cough while in a group of people, make no effort to cover it up. Everyone around you will appreciate your helping to build up their immune systems.
RE: Random bad advice - kevout2 - 09-08-2011 06:59 PM
shrinkingviolet Wrote:
I got this off Grouchy Rabbit:
When you sneeze or cough while in a group of people, make no effort to cover it up. Everyone around you will appreciate your helping to build up their immune systems.
When you sneeze or cough while in a group of people, make no effort to cover it up. Everyone around you will appreciate your helping to build up their immune systems.
Rather, if you have to pass gas, time it right with a sneeze or a cough which will hopefully be louder and drown out the fart.
RE: Random bad advice - AspieGrrl - 10-05-2011 08:00 AM
Blast rock music during ballets.
It will become a rock opera filled with people wearing tight-fitting clothes.
Who wouldn't want that?
RE: Random bad advice - ArianiaAmy - 10-05-2011 08:21 AM
Invite small children to get out of bed for ice cream past midnight on school days. If married, invite your significant other also. They'll just love the family bonding time.