Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable.

Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Printable Version

+- Aspies For Freedom (http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com)
+-- Forum: General (/forumdisplay.php?fid=48)
+--- Forum: Time out (/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Thread: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. (/showthread.php?tid=21003)

Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-17-2010 10:36 PM

I tagged along to mortuary school with my 19-year-old aunt when she was going there but had to babysit me too. I was 5. I learned a lot. My parents didn't send me to kindergarten; I started school in grade 1 but was smarter than all the other kids.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-17-2010 10:45 PM

I'm a terrible liar.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-17-2010 10:49 PM

Yeah... tried to come up with one and have failed completely to do so...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-17-2010 11:25 PM

smokingweapon Wrote:

Last night I was...

Wow, that was incredibly vile.

I don't appreciate your fictitious neck-snapping-bridge-dumping scenario. I had my neck snapped and then I was dumped off a bridge. Don't try to steal my thunder.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - smokingweapon - 11-17-2010 11:27 PM

Well, I don't appreciate your comment.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-17-2010 11:30 PM

I can appreciate that.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 04:28 AM

Aboniks and Lucid Lunacy, were your first posts in this thread truth or lies? LOLOL.

I visited Nelson Mandela's apartment when he was still in prison.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-18-2010 04:33 AM

Ana54 Wrote:

Aboniks and Lucid Lunacy, were your first posts in this thread truth or lies? LOLOL.

Erm...how do I make this believable...

Yes.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-18-2010 04:33 AM

I remember sneaking across the border in Europe, oh and boy was it tough.... Greece and Turkey aren't that friendly towards each other so I decided to go to Turkey for a day just to see what it was like in Istanbul.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 04:36 AM

I was in Istanbul! Me and two friends got lost there; we were on a class trip and the class left without us. My friend fell into one of those squatter toilets. We had nowhere to go to clean him up; we had to walk 7 miles to find a normal bathroom.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - piePIEpie - 11-18-2010 04:36 AM

Kim jong il is my girlfriends brother...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-18-2010 04:38 AM

I visited the Jorvik Viking Centre back in 1990 and had a really good time.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 04:38 AM

I am related to Dr. Phil. I forget how many times removed he is, but he's a cousin. I talked to him on the phone once and other than that I haven't met or talked to him. My mom still talks to him sometimes but I fell out with him during our one conversation. See, he's for curing autism.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-18-2010 04:40 AM

I have been in a relationship with the same girl at least 5 times

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-18-2010 04:42 AM

Ana54 Wrote:

I am related to Dr. Phil. I forget how many times removed he is, but he's a cousin. I talked to him on the phone once and other than that I haven't met or talked to him. My mom still talks to him sometimes but I fell out with him during our one conversation. See, he's for curing autism.

ROFL

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 04:42 AM

I fell out of my school bus once when I was 7 and had my head, shoulders, neck, chest and arms out the window.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 05:26 AM

Random lie #1: I just lost my virginity, she gushed like a geyser, and she laughed the whole time. Her breasts were popping out of her bra.

Cut me some slack, it is almost bedtime. And I am lying.[/align]

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-18-2010 05:28 AM

Oh! I've found one!

I'm so happy to be alive. Smile

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - piePIEpie - 11-18-2010 05:30 AM

Shrek Wrote:

Random lie #1: I just lost my virginity, she gushed like a geyser, and she laughed the whole time. Her breasts were popping out of her bra.

Cut me some slack, it is almost bedtime. And I am lying.[/align]

O_o

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-18-2010 05:34 AM

I'm still young enough to stay up all night on teh internetz.

See you all tomorrow.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 05:38 AM

Random lie #2.
* I can support a woman and two (or more!!) kids on what I make,
* and send the kids to college (even Harvard!).
* I can afford a mortgage (even on Arlington Ridge Rd. in Arlington County with the mega mansions with the Republican signs in the yard at election time and the Hummers, Beamers, Mercedes, Audis in the driveway),
* save for our comfortable retirement in Florida,
* second house someplace
* and even donate to the church.
* Each of us will have a Beamer
* and she can stay home with the kids.
* We can even start a charitable foundation!

Well at least her fantasy is free. And I am luckier than most Aspies to be doing low to mid sixties USD.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 05:42 AM

Random lie #3

NT chicks just can't get enough of me

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 05:45 AM

Shrek Wrote:

Just what I memorized from the Academic American Encyclopedia about female sexual arousal. I'd probably be as likely to get myself slapped.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 05:47 AM

Whenever I walk in a room all the NT women notice. NOT. I'd probably be a better cat burglar.

I have a theory. Maybe romantic attraction follows neurological lines. Maybe it takes a neurodiverse to notice a neurodiverse. Case in point, I've received either marriage proposals or demands why I haven't proposed from bipolar women, for example.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-18-2010 05:48 AM

I'm related to the Prime Minister of Russia (NOT!)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 06:21 AM

Once I put 5 Ativans in my grandpa's coffee.

That was the best conversation we ever had.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-18-2010 07:01 AM

One of my poker buddies once dated Crystal Bernard, but they broke up because he refused to convert from Judaism in order to marry her.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - ῦ - 11-18-2010 02:51 PM

Disclosure; I have removed one post from this thread.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-18-2010 02:54 PM

Pikajedi3 Wrote:

Disclosure; I have removed one post from this thread.

Good call.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - 142857 - 11-18-2010 03:09 PM

Shrek Wrote:

I've received either marriage proposals or demands why I haven't proposed from bipolar women, for example.

Shrek, I lost my virginity with a bipolar woman/girl. I would have married her as well except she thought I was too old. She was amazingly intelligent and had an enormous passion for life... but she refused to take meds so her mood swings were frequent and scary.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-18-2010 03:34 PM

Shrek it takes time... I'm learning that the hard way.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 03:41 PM

142857 Wrote:

Shrek Wrote:

I've received either marriage proposals or demands why I haven't proposed from bipolar women, for example.

Does that support the theory? What about NT women? Are they blind?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-18-2010 03:41 PM

Genesis Wrote:

Shrek it takes time... I'm learning that the hard way.

Maybe it takes a Kryptonian. ???

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-18-2010 03:44 PM

Shrek Wrote:

Genesis Wrote:

Shrek it takes time... I'm learning that the hard way.

Maybe it takes a Kryptonian. ???

No its just that it seems alot of people marry later then usual.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-18-2010 07:12 PM

People get me so well here (meant as here physically, not here online), more than I ever thought possible. I am so in sync with them that I will always remain close to them. everything is just wonderful. Every night, I'm so filled with joy that I go to bed and fall asleep with a few minutes because of how full of happiness I am.

I don't get why people kill themselves; after all, ain't life great?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-18-2010 07:23 PM

Pikajedi3 Wrote:

Disclosure; I have removed one post from this thread.

Is that a lie, or the truth? ROFL.

Once in 9th grade my friends and I tried to get my math teacher fired.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-19-2010 12:31 AM

One summer, I went on a two-month trip with my family to visit all 50 state capitols. However, airfare suddenly skyrocketed, and we couldn't afford to go to Honolulu.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-19-2010 02:04 AM

I was at the ASAN protest. An Autism Speaks member came over pretending to be interested in us, but she then spat in my face.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-20-2010 07:55 AM

My dog stole another one of my socks.
(Actually, I can't verify if this is actually a lie so...)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - smokingweapon - 11-20-2010 12:47 PM

Smoking is not offended because his post has been removed from this thread...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - RandomGirl - 11-20-2010 12:54 PM

The colour of my favourite pen is blue.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - smokingweapon - 11-20-2010 09:09 PM

I've got Heterochromia, my eyes are each of a different colour, but people never notice because one is grey and the other light blue.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-20-2010 09:33 PM

I never post random lies about myself on the Internet.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-20-2010 09:39 PM

I enjoy the sweet taste of coffee in the morning.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-20-2010 09:40 PM

what 3 times?? Yeah, I did that on purpose... I,m too cool to post less than three times.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-21-2010 12:19 AM

I was at the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona and got knocked down and trodden on by one of them.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - jiri_k - 11-21-2010 12:30 AM

really?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-21-2010 12:36 AM

Remember, lies only in this thread!

My son was born in the hospital morgue because the obstetric ward was full. First they tried another ward, but that was also full. They tried the psychiatric ward because they knew I was bipolar. That was full too! The emergency cubicles were all full. Finally, they gave us two options: the morgue, or a bathroom. There was no time to get to another hospital. Lars was born on an autopsy table at 4:16 in the morning. We took a warm showerr right there on the autopsy table. Got lots of pictures too!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 01:37 AM

I love pink!!!! OMG, OH EM GEE!!!!!! It's, like, my totally most favest color evah!!!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-21-2010 01:58 AM

I'm thinking about getting myself that pink Hello Kitty rifle for Christmas. (Here) It matches everything I own, and it's exactly my style.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 02:19 AM

Can I get one too? It's exactly what I want!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-21-2010 02:20 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Can I get one too? It's exactly what I want!!

I think it would look great on you, AspieGrrl.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 02:22 AM

Huuuhhh???
*Raise Left Eyebrow*

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-21-2010 02:30 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Huuuhhh???
*Raise Left Eyebrow*

[Rhetoric]
Question: What is the topic of this thread?
Answer: To lie, believably, and to get away with it.
Therefore...
[/Rhetoric]

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 02:36 AM

[truth]I'm just sayin' I'm not wearin' no gun, 'specially not a pink one.[/truth]
I am so absolutely well-kept, I mean I cannot stand my li'l sis' messes!!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-21-2010 05:40 AM

I lived on a boat in Amsterdam for a year.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 05:43 AM

I have moved. I've traveled the world with my parents looking for something, but no-one will tell me what it is.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-21-2010 05:44 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

I have moved. I've traveled the world with my parents looking for something, but no-one will tell me what it is.

I know what it is.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 05:46 AM

WHAT?!?!?! WHAT IS IT????

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-21-2010 05:47 AM

I saw AspieGrrl when she stopped in Amsterdam to go to the Tanzen Macht Frei dance/party at that club.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-21-2010 05:50 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

WHAT?!?!?! WHAT IS IT????

Yes. That is correct.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-21-2010 06:02 AM

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

WHAT?!?!?! WHAT IS IT????

Yes. That is correct.

I've heard that as well. I believe it.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Shrek - 11-21-2010 06:43 AM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

I enjoy the sweet taste of coffee in the morning.

I adore coffee especially plain. NOT.

("I love coffee like I like men. Hot black and strong.")

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-21-2010 10:18 AM

Ana54 Wrote:

I saw AspieGrrl when she stopped in Amsterdam to go to the Tanzen Macht Frei dance/party at that club.

Amsterdam, yes. Club, notsomuch. Remember, believable. Was it fun? Smile

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-21-2010 11:49 AM

Yeah; we all got dressed up (or rather, dressed down) in striped prison uniforms and danced the Hora. Then the guy that organized it got in trouble.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-22-2010 04:25 AM

Ooooo...yipes. I was pro'ly sleeping.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 11-22-2010 04:27 AM

and I was probably sky diving into Amsterdam illegally to just cause a freight.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-22-2010 08:49 PM

At the Tanzen Macht Frei party we ate fat sausage that tasted suspicious.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-22-2010 11:21 PM

Genesis Wrote:

and I was probably sky diving into Amsterdam illegally to just cause a freight.

Incidentally, I once went on a sailing trip while in Europe. We had to put into Amsterdam during a storm; however, the police thought we were suspicious, so they came to the boat and interrogated us. Because we didn't have the proper visas to land in the Netherlands (we were supposed to dock in Belgium), they searched our boat. After six hours, they finally let us go, but told us not to come back without documentation.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-22-2010 11:53 PM

You should know better than to try to bribe a cop. Especially with Visa. Use cash next time.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-22-2010 11:57 PM

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-23-2010 12:00 AM

aboniks Wrote:

You should know better than to try to bribe a cop. Especially with Visa. Use cash next time.

Good tip. I'll remember that.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 12:05 AM

skyblue1 Wrote:

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

Start a group home for disabled llamas.

Notice, two L's. So this:

Not this:

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-23-2010 12:08 AM

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

Start a group home for disabled llamas.

well if I can get a free sweater or hat out of the deal

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 12:26 AM

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

Start a group home for disabled llamas.

well if I can get a free sweater or hat out of the deal

I'm afraid not. The llamas I had in mind are hairless. That's their disability.

Besides, you just won the powerball, and you want free hats?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-23-2010 12:26 AM

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

Start a group home for disabled llamas.

well if I can get a free sweater or hat out of the deal

I'm afraid not. The llamas I had in mind are hairless. That's their disability.

Besides, you just won the powerball, and you want free hats?

do they taste like chicken?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 12:36 AM

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

I won the powerball lottery saturday night. I was so excited I couldnt work today. what do I do next?

Start a group home for disabled llamas.

well if I can get a free sweater or hat out of the deal

I'm afraid not. The llamas I had in mind are hairless. That's their disability.

Besides, you just won the powerball, and you want free hats?

do they taste like chicken?

The hats? Funny you should ask...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-23-2010 12:41 AM

ummmm. thats a cat in a hat

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 12:43 AM

Or a hat with a cat in it. Either way, the hat tastes like chicken.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Biologymajor91 - 11-23-2010 12:54 AM

I have a large horse though I did not have to purchase it, I inherited it from my grandmother. It is dark brown in color, loves to ear carrots though only after 12 PM; in the event I attempt to feed it carrots prior to this time it will speak mean things to me in Latin. I am able to understand it as I did take Latin in high school; I often attempt to distract this brown horse from its mean tendencies by asking it to dance with me. I am not a good dancer though the horse takes much pride in instructing me. It believes I should practice veterinary medicine rather than medicine for humans. I strongly disagree creating another argument; however, by the time the argument has reached mid-way, it is 12PM and the dark brown horse happily eats the carrot that in part initiated the conflict.

I did actually take Latin in high school.
I am a biology major and am pursuing a career in medicine.
I have not attempted to dance as I am certain I will not fare well with dancing.
*all else, is false.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 01:50 AM

I can convince your horse that he is human. It may help to reduce the tension, and improve your dancing.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-23-2010 02:13 AM

aboniks Wrote:

I can convince your horse that he is human. It may help to reduce the tension, and improve your dancing.

ya cant convince a horse about anything, they are naturally dubious.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-23-2010 03:05 AM

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

I can convince your horse that he is human. It may help to reduce the tension, and improve your dancing.

ya cant convince a horse about anything, they are naturally dubious.

Hmm. I see what you did there. Very wily. I asked my horse if all horses were dubious, and he replied "I doubt it". Now I don't know who to believe. Well played.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - skyblue1 - 11-23-2010 03:14 AM

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

I can convince your horse that he is human. It may help to reduce the tension, and improve your dancing.

ya cant convince a horse about anything, they are naturally dubious.

Hmm. I see what you did there. Very wily. I asked my horse if all horses were dubious, and he replied "I doubt it". Now I don't know who to believe. Well played.

Meh, every dog has its day

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-23-2010 03:21 AM

I was in jail for mouthing off to a cop just because he arrested me and I didn't know why so I asked. I spent most of my time in jail in bed. Seldom was I bothered by anyone.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-23-2010 08:14 AM

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

skyblue1 Wrote:

aboniks Wrote:

I can convince your horse that he is human. It may help to reduce the tension, and improve your dancing.

ya cant convince a horse about anything, they are naturally dubious.

Hmm. I see what you did there. Very wily. I asked my horse if all horses were dubious, and he replied "I doubt it". Now I don't know who to believe. Well played.

Meh, every dog has its day

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-23-2010 08:20 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

It's nine o' clock on a Saturday.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-23-2010 08:04 PM

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

It's nine o' clock on a Saturday.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
Can't you tell that your tie's too wide?
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
Welcome back to the age of jive.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - smokingweapon - 11-23-2010 09:56 PM

I hate everybody posting on this thread

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 01:03 AM

smokingweapon Wrote:

I hate everybody posting on this thread

We hate you, too.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 01:06 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

It's nine o' clock on a Saturday.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
Can't you tell that your tie's too wide?
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
Welcome back to the age of jive.

Come on Virginia show me a sign,
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line.
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-24-2010 05:16 AM

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

It's nine o' clock on a Saturday.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
Can't you tell that your tie's too wide?
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
Welcome back to the age of jive.

Come on Virginia show me a sign,
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line.
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun.

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiov,
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron,
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team,
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev,
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 05:24 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

Semicolon Wrote:

AspieGrrl Wrote:

every drunk must have its drink
don't wait for answers
just take your chances
don't ask me why

It's nine o' clock on a Saturday.
Regular crowd shuffles in.
There's an old man sitting next to me,
Making love to his tonic and gin.

What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing?
Can't you tell that your tie's too wide?
Maybe I should buy some old tab collars?
Welcome back to the age of jive.

Come on Virginia show me a sign,
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line.
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun.

I am the entertainer and I know just where I stand,
Another serenader and another long haired band.
Today I am your champion, I may have won your hearts,
But I know the game, you'll forget my name,
And I won't be here in another year
If I don't stay on the charts.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-24-2010 05:30 AM

THE CAKE!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 05:32 AM

IS A LIE!!!!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-24-2010 05:35 AM

I just lost the game.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 05:38 AM

aboniks Wrote:

I just lost the game.

Indeed you did.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-24-2010 06:00 AM

I love burlap.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-24-2010 07:31 AM

I eat fried spam for breakfast every morning. It's all I can afford.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-24-2010 08:25 AM

I share aboniks' love of burlap.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-24-2010 08:04 PM

I used to live in the Bronx. I was gang-raped by 14 men at a party one of them invited me to.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Gareth - 11-24-2010 08:11 PM

I believe that everyone on this thread is telling the truth

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 11-24-2010 08:12 PM

Yep, that's because we are. I once was a very wealthy bank owner.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Gareth - 11-24-2010 08:13 PM

(this one i'm proud of)
I've never outdone IBM in software development

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-24-2010 08:29 PM

I compulsively buy stock in companies that manufacture shiny plastic widgets weighing one once or less.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-25-2010 02:03 AM

I am a hacker known all over the world and have been banned from 58 message boards, including one for hackers that gives them proxies to reregister at other boards!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-25-2010 02:15 AM

Ana54 Wrote:

I am a hacker known all over the world and have been banned from 58 message boards, including one for hackers that gives them proxies to reregister at other boards!

Morpheus? I didn't know you were an aspie!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-25-2010 09:48 PM

I have legally changed my name 5 times.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-25-2010 10:00 PM

Ana54 Wrote:

I have legally changed my name 5 times.

Really? I've only changed my name three times. I don't count the pseudonyms I write under when I distribute communist propaganda to the compliant masses; if I did, the result would be well over two dozen names.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-25-2010 10:18 PM

I pwn all noobs who dare cross my path. *Glances Left, Right, Hides in Corner*

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-25-2010 11:37 PM

I went to Auschwitz and we danced the Hora around one of the plaques that described the gas chambers. It was the one that talked of the October 7, 1944 uprising.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-25-2010 11:44 PM

I once won an award for my interpretation of the Hora in relation to trends in modern dance.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-26-2010 03:24 AM

When I was a little kid I liked starting fires. I remember my mom smacking me with a ladle covered in boiling hot spaghetti sauce, because I had burned her Bible in one of my fires.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-26-2010 05:48 AM

I like watching the ants burn. Big Grin

<evil grin

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-26-2010 09:26 AM

I used to drown ants in a bottle of water. I's just put lots in, close the lid and shake it up.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-26-2010 07:04 PM

I am actually a mutated ant. I was grown in a laboratory near Los Alamos. I don't know who was responsible for my creation; the only clue I have is that the chief scientist on the project has a glass eye fitted with an infrared camera. I managed to escape four months ago, and I have been running from their search teams since then. One day, I hope to find my creator and kill him, as punishment for bringing me into this world.

Oh, and Ana54 and AspieGrrl: I'm coming for you. Soon you will experience the true meaning of "Ant-ichrist".

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-26-2010 07:06 PM

Semicolon Wrote:

..."Ant-ichrist".

lol. thanks a lot. hot coffee in my sinuses again.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 11-26-2010 07:08 PM

aboniks Wrote:

Semicolon Wrote:

..."Ant-ichrist".

lol. thanks a lot. hot coffee in my sinuses again.

Again? Does that happen often?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-26-2010 07:10 PM

far too often. I have yet to internalize the lesson that I shouldn't read posts from funny people while drinking coffee.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-26-2010 07:53 PM

I once got chewed-up bacon in my sinuses from laughing with my mouth closed and not swallowing...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 11-26-2010 08:23 PM

I only burned the red ants......
*(actually I hated it when people burned ants, a younger me repeatedly tackled one of her younger brothers for this offense. That doesn't mean I didn't like messing with the magnifying glass, but that's another story. Tongue

)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-27-2010 07:43 PM

My earliest memory is of my brother pissing on an anthill to drown the ants.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - jiri_k - 11-27-2010 07:59 PM

im good at making up lies

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-28-2010 01:16 AM

When I was 6, I ate a whole loaf of moldy bread and then puked into a bowl. When I was finished, I felt a lot better. I looked at my puke in the bowl and had a false realization: this was how you made stuffing for the Thanksgiving turkey! So later my mom gives m some bread and spices and tells m to make the stuffing while she's gone. I'm still 6 years old. I eat all the bread and spices and then become violently ill into a bowl. I then put it into the turkey.

A bunch of our relatives were over for turkey dinner, and most of them got sick.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - aboniks - 11-28-2010 04:29 AM

We use ants in our turkey stuffing every year. The formic acid helps the croutons stay moist.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 11-28-2010 05:49 AM

I almost hanged myself trying to escape from the bathroom my uncle locked me in. I made a toilet paper rope and tied one end to the pipe under the sink and the other end around my waist. Then I jumped out the window. The rope went up around my neck. It didn't go all the way to the ground. I tried to get the stupid thing off my neck but failed and lost consciousness. I ended up in the mental hospital that way... to this day nobody believes I wasn't trying to kill myself!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-05-2010 09:25 PM

I was invisible during Elementary school. I am dead serious. My teachers kept losing me even when I was standing right in front of them. It was kind of depressing, but I never got kicked out of the school library during my many escapades.... Big Grin

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-05-2010 11:44 PM

I lost another 30 lbs.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-06-2010 01:09 AM

I lost a quarter of my neurons banging my head.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-06-2010 01:15 AM

I really hate my cat.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-06-2010 01:27 AM

I was thrown down the middle of the stairwell in high school, three floors to the ground. I landed on top of other students. The girl whose head I landed on later died.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-07-2010 05:06 AM

I was that girl...I am on this forum to haunt Ana, but she didn't know that until I posted this.....

BOO!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 12-08-2010 12:47 AM

Actual lies I have used to mess with people:

I can bench press 300 lbs.

I was bitten by a shark, and I would then show the scar to prove it. Ok, the scar was real.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-08-2010 01:06 AM

I won my 6 olympic gold medals by cheating.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-08-2010 01:54 AM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

I won my 6 olympic gold medals by cheating.

Really? I've only won four. Of course, I won all of mine fairly.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-08-2010 03:42 AM

I prefer to win for diabolical excellence than physical excellence.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-08-2010 05:08 AM

I was pregnant with quadruplets but miscarried three of them before the 6th month. (they had to remove the remains by c-section and then sew me back up, otherwise I would have had to give birth to a premature baby or leave rotting corpses inside me.)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-11-2010 12:05 AM

I can do gymnastics really well. The gymnasium wanted me to go on to the Jr. Olympics, but I decided to try water sports.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-11-2010 12:30 AM

When AspieGrrl mentioned water sports, the first thing I thought of was polo.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-11-2010 12:33 AM

Semicolon Wrote:

When AspieGrrl mentioned water sports, the first thing I thought of was polo.

LIES!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-11-2010 12:36 AM

This thread is a thread about lies. Therefore, AspieGrrl's last post is a lie, and this post is a lie.

Try to use logic to straighten that one out!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-11-2010 12:38 AM

[truth]Just click the link.[/truth]

I met the person who does Gir's voice on Invader Zim. So cool. Big Grin

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-11-2010 12:39 AM

I know what Invader Zim is.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-11-2010 12:49 AM

LIES!

Again!!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-11-2010 04:54 AM

I was arrested along with 3 other protestors who were protesting outside the mental hospital secure unit. Our friend was trapped in there and he never even got a court date.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-11-2010 08:03 AM

I have amazing Chess skillz. Tongue

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Suedehead - 12-11-2010 05:25 PM

I got a heart transplant and now I can teleport.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-11-2010 06:23 PM

I can teleport even without a heart transplant. Two years ago, I was struck by lightning while playing with radioactive sludge after I found a meteorite outside of a rogue genetics lab. Since then, I am able to teleport anywhere, provided I have been there before.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-11-2010 09:06 PM

In 8th grade I ate the intestines of a fetal pig during a dissection in science class, as a dare from another kid.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-11-2010 11:03 PM

The user you know as Semicolon does not really exist. I am actually a software program designed to take over the world. I am on AFF because I prefer to start small and work my way to the top. I will be sure to start a new thread to let you all know when I have achieved my goal.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-12-2010 02:58 AM

My uncle and I had a Listerine-drinking contest. I still won even tho he drank 55 large bottles nad I drank one small bottle. Because puking made you lose 20 points and drinking a bottle gained you five points, in our game.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-13-2010 06:28 PM

Ana killed me and I'm a ghost. The End. Now, she will never ever forget the day she fell down those stairs.
Whoooooo.....wooooooooooooo Tongue

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-13-2010 08:56 PM

I gave her a gallon of milk to participate in the competition, knowing she was allergic to milk, and she had a reaction and died.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-14-2010 01:40 AM

I am currently standing up.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-14-2010 06:14 AM

I started a computer club in HS and 5 people joined. On the first day, we started arguing about what the best operating system was. One kid really got into it with another. One of those two then insulted the other one, and the insulted one then had a seizure and died.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-14-2010 06:44 AM

Ana54 Wrote:

I started a computer club in HS and 5 people joined. On the first day, we started arguing about what the best operating system was. One kid really got into it with another. One of those two then insulted the other one, and the insulted one then had a seizure and died.

(Really? What was the final conclusion as to the best operating system? Smile )

I believe that the above anecdote actually happened.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-14-2010 06:47 AM

Of course you do, you're the seizure kid. This entire site is made up of people Ana killed(or was present for the passing of). Tongue

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-14-2010 08:56 AM

My mother has taken antidepressants from the day I was born. See, she looked at me and got so depressed she laid back and just lay there for 6 months while my dad looked after me. My dad finally got fed up and put me in my car seat, then dragged my mom out to the car and drove us to the mental hospital, and abandoned her on the front lawn. We later learned that when they asked her what was wrong, she said she had a baby and didn't like its face.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-14-2010 06:39 PM

I'm soo happy to be alive.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-15-2010 12:53 AM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

I'm soo happy to be alive.

Lucid Lunacy is in a cheerful mood today. Big Grin

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-15-2010 03:12 AM

I have orange hair and my entire in-bred mother's side of the family also has orange hair. My uncle also has 3 fingers on 1 hand and 8 on the other. My aunt never grew hair. My cousin has a double thumb, another cousin has webbed fingers, and my grandfather has an extra finger. About 75% of them also suffer from mental illness, intellectual disability, etc.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-15-2010 03:15 AM

I can destroy any concrete wall by headbutting it. Usually, I can destroy it in one or two headbutts, but some parking garages take a few minutes for me to demolish.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-15-2010 05:05 AM

I got detention every day I was at school, in the whole fifth grade.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-15-2010 05:10 AM

I just destroyed another wall because I was bored.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-15-2010 11:35 PM

I am on house arrest, but for mental health reasons they let me hve some social time, and the public speaking club is included in that.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-17-2010 02:04 AM

I am currently typing while performing a headstand.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-17-2010 03:36 AM

I am currently with my friend and I gave her the biggest her she has ever had. (how I wish it was happening but she lives over 7 hours away and I don't have a car nor a passport...)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-17-2010 04:35 AM

My baby sister flushed my pasport down the toilet. The plumber had to come in and unblock the pipes nad he fished out my passport... in the meantime I had been blaming my boyfriend for hiding it because he didn't want me going anywhere without his permission!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-17-2010 07:47 PM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

I am currently with my friend and I gave her the biggest her she has ever had. (how I wish it was happening but she lives over 7 hours away and I don't have a car nor a passport...)

I really meant to say "her" and certainly not something like "hug". Who would think of putting hug instead anyway?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-17-2010 09:09 PM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

I am currently with my friend and I gave her the biggest her she has ever had. (how I wish it was happening but she lives over 7 hours away and I don't have a car nor a passport...)

I really meant to say "her" and certainly not something like "hug". Who would think of putting hug instead anyway?

This is not funny. It's not even a little bit funny.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-18-2010 06:31 PM

I used to be an airport screener. I was fired for being too humane. Then I was a psych tech and was fired again, for the same reason.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-19-2010 01:44 AM

I'm just glad she got fired after I left.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-19-2010 02:34 AM

I am not currently wearing footwear.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-19-2010 04:14 AM

I am having a good day.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-19-2010 04:20 AM

I feel completely charged of energy and am not making a single conscious effort to understand what people mean, because I don't think I know whether it matters when I'm this awake.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-19-2010 09:19 PM

I had a dream in which I went bqck to Texas and met George Bush in a bar and had sex with him.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-19-2010 09:52 PM

Ana54 Wrote:

I had a dream in which I went bqck to Texas and met George Bush in a bar and had sex with him.

I had that dream last night, too.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-22-2010 11:53 PM

Actually, I think I saw you there. You were wearing a pink suit.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - kevout2 - 12-23-2010 12:41 AM

I met a new gal this past Saturday from a dating site. She's aware of who I am personality-wise (including Aspie traits) from my profile. She seems to like me. I like her alot and we're making plans to meet again.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-23-2010 12:47 AM

I am currently sitting down.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-23-2010 07:58 AM

My cat is hung like a lion.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-23-2010 05:09 PM

I am currently standing up.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-23-2010 06:28 PM

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

My cat is hung like a lion.

(if that means what I think it means)
Then he can only have 7 seconds of sex? Tongue
(heard that lions ejaculate in 7 seconds on a documentary once (and it's not a lie...))

I guess I'll add a lie since this is a lying thread. I love christmas. Always enjoyed being "forced" to buy gifts just to be socially acceptable.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-23-2010 08:11 PM

(LuLu: It means what you think it means.)

I am a hermit who actually lives in a cave formed on the coast of Spain. I have internet access through a series of routers set up by my monastery so we hermits can use Facebook to update our statuses about being hermits. My latest update read, "I am cold, but closer to the truth of the world. Weekly enlightenment meeting tomorrow."

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 12-24-2010 03:01 PM

As a zombie, I find it exhausting having to go out at night foraging for fresh brains for me and the fam.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 12-25-2010 02:18 AM

I know, right? The worst is catching Airheads. They're like those cheap-o snack bags. They're regular-sized wrappers around small 100 cal. brains.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 12-25-2010 03:49 AM

AspieGrrl Wrote:

I know, right? The worst is catching Airheads. They're like those cheap-o snack bags. They're regular-sized wrappers around small 100 cal. brains.

Yes, exactly! All that work for nuthin.

Brains, that must be what is in eggnog...

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-25-2010 04:58 AM

I am currently asleep.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 12-25-2010 04:35 PM

I visited Auschwitz with my class in 11th grade.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-25-2010 06:09 PM

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

My cat is hung like a lion.

Male cats big and small have spines on their penises. Withdrawal is painful for females. It is supposed to stimulate ovulation.

/truth

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-25-2010 07:13 PM

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

My cat is hung like a lion.

Male cats big and small have spines on their penises. Withdrawal is painful for females. It is supposed to stimulate ovulation.

/truth

Sounds kinky. Wink

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-25-2010 09:26 PM

I killed a guy by accident. I poisoned him with a bottle of eyedrops in his cffee. I never told anyone. Sad

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - d_olson27 - 12-25-2010 09:31 PM

You too?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - d_olson27 - 12-25-2010 09:32 PM

I have absolutely nothing I should be doing right now instead of sitting in front of my computer.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-26-2010 03:06 AM

I'm not going to mention the large scorpion next to d_olson27's chair.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - iocus - 12-26-2010 03:07 AM

i am happy Smile

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 12-26-2010 03:12 AM

(truth time: Iocus, that quote makes me want to hide under the bed and suck my thumb)

I am totally not wearing a snuggie right now.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 12-26-2010 07:29 PM

Semicolon Wrote:

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

Lucid lunacy Wrote:

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

My cat is hung like a lion.

Male cats big and small have spines on their penises. Withdrawal is painful for females. It is supposed to stimulate ovulation.

/truth

Sounds kinky. Wink

Ouch. That must hurt. Dogs seem to have something similar as well... my two dogs have been having sex a few times and he can't get out of her when he's done and Canelle cries and they have to wait a few minutes before they stop being stuck.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - d_olson27 - 12-26-2010 09:18 PM

I just got stung by a huge scorpion, and now have 30 seconds to li

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - ForgottenMist - 12-27-2010 04:58 AM

-insert lie here-. Wink

Wait I mean...

I went to South Carolina and found Skyblue at the local Piggly Wiggly's. Then I asked my friend if she was related to him, and she gave me that look. :S

Or...

I found some tourist and gave them a tour they'll never forget. XD!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - tintinophile691 - 12-29-2010 09:56 AM

I do NOT want to get the other three Simon the Sorcerer games. Not at ALL!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - d_olson27 - 12-30-2010 07:11 AM

Good news! I survived that scorpion sting!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-31-2010 03:42 AM

I got back from turning tricks tonight.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-31-2010 03:45 AM

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

I got back from turning tricks tonight.

Since this quote is a lie, does that mean that you are, in fact, still out walking the streets?

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 12-31-2010 04:14 AM

I have three nipples

(truth - my brother had 2.5)

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-31-2010 04:35 AM

Semicolon Wrote:

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

I got back from turning tricks tonight.

Since this quote is a lie, does that mean that you are, in fact, still out walking the streets?

Oh you got me!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 12-31-2010 05:55 AM

Now I have centipedes in my vagina.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 12-31-2010 06:33 AM

Duckfetishgirl Wrote:

Now I have centipedes in my vagina.

[truth]
There is a picture on I2... *censored* *cough*
[/truth]

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-01-2011 03:12 AM

I made the Christmas turkey this year. Three of my relatives were rushed to the hospital after eating it. The rest simply vomited, in the bathrooms and on the front lawn.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - nialll - 01-01-2011 07:42 PM

i never pissed in my then girlfriend's bedroom sink

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-02-2011 12:51 AM

ROFL, niall!

I tried to drown myself in the pigs' water trough when I spent a week working on a farm when I was 13 as punishment for hacking into the school's computers.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 01-02-2011 01:20 AM

I am not at all disgusted with what Niall said.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 01-02-2011 04:44 AM

My double-post on PiePIEpie's Birthday Thread was completely for the awesomeness of the post and I knew that the second post existed before I came beck on here today.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-04-2011 03:25 AM

I used to be a student at the JRC, then I was a staff member there. I shocked a 6-year-old once.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-16-2011 06:57 PM

I have seven bank accounts at seven different banks.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 01-19-2011 12:18 AM

I am a liar and I have no problem lying to others.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 01-19-2011 12:28 AM

This statement is a lie.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 01-19-2011 06:32 AM

I did not recognize Semicolon's last statement as a paradox.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieMomma - 01-20-2011 12:45 AM

I am exceptionally cool and confident. I never lose layers of stomach lining over changes in routine, and I never flip out under pressure.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Duckfetishgirl - 01-20-2011 05:53 AM

I am so happy and never felt more like being alive.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - d_olson27 - 01-20-2011 05:56 AM

AspieMomma Wrote:

I am exceptionally cool and confident. I never lose layers of stomach lining over changes in routine, and I never flip out under pressure.

You and me both.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Genesis - 01-20-2011 05:57 AM

I don't know what to lie about

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Semicolon - 01-20-2011 06:50 AM

This statement is the truth.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - MindMatter - 01-20-2011 07:06 AM

When I was a young girl, I had a passion... I spent every waking moment practising and reading up on the best technique. Eventually my hard work was awarded and I became the 2003 Hopscotch World Champion. The shining golden trophy has dulled somewhat and gathers dust on the cabinet in my spare room. Nobody would believe me if I told them now, so I just keep it to myself and on lonely nights, sometimes I remember and a warm, golden light covers my thoughts and makes everything ok again... I was someone.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 01-20-2011 06:57 PM

Chicken Soup totally is my #1 book series.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-24-2011 04:28 PM

I just flushed all my pills today because it took one day to withdraw from the Tegretol, because it's ridiculously easy to withdraw from.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Lucid lunacy - 01-24-2011 08:10 PM

In high school, we used to all start singing all of a sudden as if a camera was pointed at us in a musical.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-24-2011 08:55 PM

My pet porcupine ate my Abilify.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 01-26-2011 03:23 PM

Don't tell them where I'm hiding!!!!!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 01-26-2011 06:55 PM

I won't. I've been ratted out before when I robbed that bank with Tom and I escaped and he didn't. I know how it feels. I still feel for tom tho.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Some_Bloke - 05-20-2011 11:13 PM

I am bisexual.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - kevout2 - 05-21-2011 03:10 AM

I met somebody recently. We started getting acquainted with each other from an on-line personal. We met for the first time in person at Starbauch's about three weeks ago. She's a little bit strange and shy, and I like her alot. I wonder if she's on the spectrum. The subject of Asperger Syndrome hasn't been brought up yet. But I do feel a bit more relaxed around her. I just need to not get too anxious or excited. I must admit that I am excited about getting together with her again tomorrow evening.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Ana54 - 05-21-2011 11:52 PM

[OMG, Kev, I was going to congratulate you and then realized this is the lie thread.]

I am going to a rapture party downtown. It will be the first real party I go to.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 05-22-2011 07:38 PM

I totally thought I would be Raptured! I've been a good Catholic, right? It's not like I even like to learn about other religions, or something. I mean that'd be crazy!

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - kevout2 - 05-22-2011 08:21 PM

I went out with that girl again last night.  We went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday's.  She ate a salmon delicacy and I had steak.

Things seemed to be going well.  During the meal, I had to excuse myself to go to the men's room.  I had a tremendous gas build-up.  There was a guy taking a dump. I was in a happy, smiley mood.  I tried hard to release the gas slowly so he wouldn't hear it because I was afraid I'd crack up laughing and not be able to stop.  Well, I begin a fart that must have lasted 15 or 20 seconds.  It came out at a very high and squeaky frequency.  Then it ended on a blasting high note as I heard the guy who was taking a dump try not to laugh.  I had a couple of outbursts that I manage to stop the instant I was about to laugh.  My face was as red as a beet and there were tears in my eyes.  I tried to "cool off" before exiting the men's room.  I didn't want the girl to wonder why I was laughing or what was so funny.  Once I heard the guy's belt buckle jingle, I knew I'd better get the hell out of the men's room.  If I saw his face, I'd be sure to burst into laughter.

That girl was wondering if I was OK.  She seemed in a happy, kind of bubbly mood.  That was good.  I told her I was OK (with a suppressed grin on my face.)

After Ruby Tuesday's, we went to Barnes & Noble.  We looked at some books with art drawings and paintings.  She likes art alot.  We also looked at some classical CDs.  We sat in the lounge and had some latte.  It was an anxious but yet relaxing evening, and I like this girl alot.  I hope it's not too good to be true.  I do feel something special with her.

Next weekend, there the annual art festival in my area.  We're supposed to meet again.  There is this restaurant with an outdoor area I always walk by when I take walks for exercise.  I plan on eating lunch or dinner there with her next weekend.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - Some_Bloke - 05-22-2011 10:06 PM

I am caught in a love triangle. Two girls are involved, my ex who wants me back, but i have found someone else, she makes me feel smart and positive feelings, her dog died and i conforted her, then we became attracted to each other.

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 05-24-2011 06:50 PM

I am so depressed right now. I don't think I'll ever be able to look myself in the face again. I can't believe I'd do something like that. Sad

RE: Post a random lie about yourself, and try to make it believable. - AspieGrrl - 05-29-2011 04:45 AM

My anniversary is not tomorrow. Not even close. It's weeks away. Hyperspace is taking me to a fabulous ball I get to get all dressed up and my mom's taking me shopping. Also, I got a Ferrari for my birthday.