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+-- Forum: Autistic Culture (/forumdisplay.php?fid=50)
+--- Forum: Poetry / creative writing (/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Thread: 18 Does Not Mean Life (song or poem) (/showthread.php?tid=19354)
18 Does Not Mean Life (song or poem) - Ana54 - 05-23-2010 02:26 AM
When I turned 18 I thought things were gonna be alright.
But then I realized that's just some stupid old wives' tale that this is the year I will see the light.
Many my age have been working for years
but Mama wouldn't let me; my failing in school was one of her fears.
Some people die when they're just 18.
The little kids continue to be mean.
Just because I'm out of high school
doesn't make me mature or invincible or cool.
And so this is the year I'm getting post traumatic stress.
But if I went for help I'd be more of a mess.
They're gonna find me dead on the bathroom floor;
underneath the flimsy wooden knocked-down door.
In the gamatria 18 is called Chai.
But why 18? I'm always wondering why.
Elie Wiesel's Auschwitz numbers added up to 18.
Other survivors' numbers too, and to believe it they were keen.
I can't afford to go to college; I ain't got no scholarships.
To join the military I would need to do backflips.
To move out I'd need for welfare to accept me.
I wish that the high school, 'steada passin me just kept me.
I wish I could go out to the clubs and the bars.
I can't afford it; how do these kids buy their cars?
I hate to live off of mean and nasty nutjobs here.
Subjecting me to all this shame and all this fear.
But there is a way out without getting a record anywhere.
If I get so depressed I get sectioned... they'll help me there!
What does it take to go insane? What symptoms, if any, have arisen?
I have anxiety, depression, hatred for society, trying to get me into the military or prison.
But if I don't want a record I'll take the mental ward.
I'll just tell them I tried to hang myself with cord.
I'm already feeling better having decided to go there
even though I've never been before, or indeed where.
But I need someone with whom I can talk.
So so what if they just balk?
If there's abuse in there I can write a book
and get it published; then I'll be off the hook.
I'll have my career and you can have yours, and all your stupid possessions.
In jail or prison you're not allowed to profit from your confessions.
I'll be a traveling mental ward inspector.
All over the world; not just in my sector!
RE: 18 Does Not Mean Life (song or poem) - timhomer2007 - 06-25-2010 04:06 AM
Very good poem.
RE: 18 Does Not Mean Life (song or poem) - skyblue1 - 06-25-2010 05:17 AM
definitely poetry