The "Boasting about our children" thread

The "Boasting about our children" thread - Printable Version

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The "Boasting about our children" thread - Tigger_the_Wing - 03-10-2008 01:45 AM

Hi!

It is often the case that we parents come on here for support because something our children are doing baffles or worries us.

We worry about what they will be like as adults, whether folowing their special interests will lead to a career.

Well, I would like this to be a thread with the opposite attitude. A lot of us here have adult offspring on the spectrum who, despite having possibly suffered dreadfully through the school years, have actually made a success of their lives.

I believe that sharing this information with parents of newly-diagnosed children will give them some much-needed optimism.

So, to start the ball rolling, I would like to boast about my older three. Big Grin

My eldest was obsessed with music, and is now a concert pianist with letters after his name!

My second son, obsessed with Mutant Ninja Turtles and such, now has five black belts in various martial arts

And he is the voice of WT Defence; someone has posted the introductory video on YouTube. (He reckons it is good for a giggle!)

My daughter has been studying French and Politics at university, and is currently studying for a business diploma, all while working part-time at a restaurant and raising a family. Oh, and not to forget, while living in a pair of mobile homes (trailers) while helping to finish the building of our house while we have been stuck in Australia!

Over to you...

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Ian - 03-10-2008 01:46 AM

I have nowt to brag about, children of myself.

As I have amounted to nothing.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Natalie - 03-10-2008 01:53 AM

I like your family, Tigger. It seems like you have done an excellent job encouraging them to pursue their interests (whatever they may be), and look at all the good that has come of it.

(Operating heavy machinery looks fun)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Tigger_the_Wing - 03-10-2008 01:53 AM

Ian Wrote:

I have nowt to brag about, children of myself.

As I have amounted to nothing...

...yet, but soon! Big Grin

You are a lot younger than them, don't forget - yet you are already starting on the long road to independence!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Ian - 03-10-2008 02:03 AM

With all the headaches that come with it.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - nathanww - 03-10-2008 02:43 AM

Whenever my parents try to brag about me, they usually get it wrong, As in, and I quote "He wrote an essay in the newspaper about some valley in Japan and rascism".(Um, that would be the Uncanny Valley phenomenon, actually. Not quite sure where the Japan part came in--maybe because the researchers were Japanese?)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - DW_a_mom - 03-10-2008 04:47 AM

My son has grown so much in the past 4 years, and is fine-tuning his obsessions into talents. He has also earned the respect of his peers for his ideas, and that has been a joy to see.

He is only 10, so I can't list careers and degrees yet, but he has invented a card game that the school invited him to teach at family game night, and I still hear raves about the story he wrote for and read at a school event.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Tigger_the_Wing - 03-10-2008 11:27 AM

DW - that is the kind of thing I'm on about! Our spectrum kids are just as likely to make us proud as any other children, and it is very important that we SAY so - just as loudly as we can! Because they will hear/read so much that is negative, let's keep this thread positive.

The children don't have to be adult; I only listed my adult children because my twins were so desperately embarrassed the last time I posted about them, and that was only to wish them a happy birthday!

Natalie, thanks for the compliments! It wasn't a job to encourage their talents, it was a pleasure. Having been brought up myself in a family that encouraged hobbies, it was only natural to me! Proud as I am of them, I take no responsibility for their success; that has been entirely down to their own hard work and dedication. Oh, and I told my daughter off for operating that dumper with no helmet and with her seat belt undone! I'm still her mother, even if she is a mum in her twenties!

nathanww - of course your parents boast about you! But don't worry if they get the details wrong - I doubt that anyone they speak to pays attention to the subject of your essay; they are just impressed that it was published!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - DW_a_mom - 03-10-2008 08:57 PM

I forgot one other thing:

At my father's funeral a few months ago, my son agreed to do one of the Bible readings. A few minutes before his turn, my mother looked at us, and her and I both questioned if my son was going to be able to do it. He has crying so hard. But when the time came he insisted he wanted to do the reading, and he sucked it all in, went up, and read beautifully. My mother's friends talked for weeks about how wonderfully brave my son was, and what a good job he did. And he was proud of himself, too. He told me later that it helped having a job to do, a few minutes to concentrate on something other than our loss.

One of the funny things with my son is that life seems to be full of unbelievably proud moments, and incredibly frustrating ones, with very little in the middle. He amazes me so often, and I realize that the burdens are simply the price for that, what it costs to hold so many gifts.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - grizeldatee - 03-10-2008 11:32 PM

My oldest has just turned 13, so no degrees or careers here, either. However, he has finally found an athletic endeavor that he genuinely enjoys and is quite good at: fencing. Went to his first informal tournament last Friday and I was impressed. I've just been dropping him off for class for months, so I was astonished to see him holding his own against far superior fencers. No, he didn't win any, but he didn't get spanked either. And he definitely has his own style and energy .... after only 6 month of weekly lessons.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Ian - 03-10-2008 11:46 PM

In slightly nicer news, all your children get the Ian Moore thumbs up of supreme approval Tongue

Especially the daughter, i'm shameless I know.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Breeze - 03-11-2008 12:08 AM

Its great to hear your children are doing well Tigger. My 4 year old son has taken an interest in the piano also. We have a small one for his size however , we are looking into getting a big one for him - we just need to find somewhere to put it. Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Rastus - 03-11-2008 02:41 AM

My 10yo son plays the trumpet and will most likely be invited to join the senior school band this year. He has earned 8 achievent badges with Cub Scouts and he is praised at school for always helping with the younger children. Oh......and he knows what all the elemental powers of all the pokemon ever made are Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Marcia - 03-11-2008 03:33 AM

What an interesting, lovely and talented bunch!

My six year old son is smart and articulate. He loves singing and dancing, putting on shows when he puts on different accents for the different characters he plays, he has a huge interest in everything and how it all connects up. His memory is amazing and he is loved and cared for by all his schoolmates. He enjoys his drama class and had his first swimming lesson yesterday. He has a good ear for music and languages and will succeed at whatever he puts his mind to! My beautiful, gorgeous wee aspie boy! Wouldn't change him for anything! Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Creasy - 03-13-2008 11:21 AM

My six year old son Tyler has a special interest in trains. He can't get enough of them and loves talking about them. Then I have my mother who I suspect is Aspie (just like my boy and I) and she is a total clean freak.

Anyway, last Sunday night Tyler was having a sleep over at his granny's and he was talking about trains (as he does) and his granny says " I think you have a problem with trains" and he said "I think you have a problem with tidy" Lol.
My mum reckons she cracked up laughing. He's a classic.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - moonbeam - 03-15-2008 06:19 PM

Marcia Wrote:

What an interesting, lovely and talented bunch!

My six year old son is smart and articulate. He loves singing and dancing, putting on shows when he puts on different accents for the different characters he plays, he has a huge interest in everything and how it all connects up. His memory is amazing and he is loved and cared for by all his schoolmates. He enjoys his drama class and had his first swimming lesson yesterday. He has a good ear for music and languages and will succeed at whatever he puts his mind to! My beautiful, gorgeous wee aspie boy! Wouldn't change him for anything! Smile

I just discovered this site, and althought my son has no official diagnosis, I see him on the aspie pages here. He is brilliant, but last night said that nobody his class likes him. He is sweet, kind, and friendly. I asked him why he thinks (he was crying at the time) and he said "They sense my aura and they feel uncomfortable around it" at other times, he has said "they think I'm weird, or they basically act like I'm invisible." It is breaking my heart. He does have a few close friends, and I told him to focus on those people. He loves going to school despite this, but after going on a few field trips, I see that it's not getting better for him as he gets older. The kids seem to treat him worse, and I am taking great care to choose a middle school. I know I sidetracked the topic a bit, but I can brag about his many gifts another time soon. I'm just worried about him now and need support.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - ocampo - 03-15-2008 10:50 PM

Welcome Moonbeam!

I will respond later, but as one of those peer rejected Aspies I can assure you... what your son needs is a mum that loves him, believes in him, and encourages him no matter what. That will always make the pain of school bullies much easier to bear.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Marcia - 03-15-2008 11:19 PM

moonbeam Wrote:

Hi Moonbeam and welcome to AFF! Smile

Sorry to hear that your son is unhappy about how the other children regard him, although at least it sounds more like misunderstandings and lack of connection than outright bullying. I have to say your son does sound like my mine in this respect. His sense of humour and interests are very different from the majority of his classmates, and even his own group of friends don't always seem to "get" his jokes.

I wondered what age your son is, and whether you are waiting for a diagnosis - I'm guessing you didn't stumble across this site entirely by chance....

(This should probably be on the introductions thread - can it be moved?)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - moonbeam - 03-16-2008 03:25 AM

Thank you ocampo and Marcia. My son is blessed with a happy nature, but I know the rejection is getting to him. I have an amazing connection with him, and I think he is a phenomenal communicator. I thought he would find more kids like him in the gifted school, and he has found a few kindred souls. He seems to get caught up in his own interests and doesn't listen to others at times. I want to support him and give him coping mechanisms without giving him the message that he has to change who he is in order to be liked. What I do fear is actual bullying which may occur in middle school. I don't see him handling it well. I also feared that I have sheltered him maybe too much, but my instincts and his personality seemed to have required it. Now I want him to achieve more independence and I'm not sure if my expectations of what he can handle are appropriate. He is 9, and in 4th grade. He also has some unusual body movements, spinning, and a little arm moving and jumping when he walks. I think these things are things the kids notice and separate more from him as "coolness" starts to matter more. Last year, he had 2 girls that were fighting for his attention, but since then - one has rejected him and other still plays with him but is in a different class. He doesn't like sports, which eliminates him from the jock crowd.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Chimera - 03-16-2008 04:05 AM

Wow, thank you Tigger - its a great thread!!

My son, Evan, started at ASU as a freshman last fall. He is majoring in biomechanics. invented a new type of wheelchair as a class project. One of the perfessors who has started his own company manufacturing rocket ships heard about it and hired Evan immediately (he is still also going to school full time). He wants evan to be his business partner in producing the wheel chairs at some point.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Lucie1 - 03-16-2008 05:19 AM

My son was supported into employment. He was supported to study.

In the work place although he is young and new he is good at his job and can be relied upon. Because of this this his boss began giving him positions of responsibilty - putting him in charge positions giving direction to staff.

My son emailed his mentor to say he was leaving his job. He could not cope with the stress of the extra responsiblity. His boss is great - but he forgot about my son's special needs / differences. The mentor intervened - the boss reduced his responsibility /stress levels and gave him a $2 an hour rise to keep him.

I'm proud of my darling.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Lucie1 - 03-16-2008 05:21 AM

Janet - my son's gifts are also in mechanical invention and design.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Chimera - 03-16-2008 05:25 AM

Lucie1 Wrote:

My son emailed his mentor to say he was leaving his job. He could not cope with the stress of the extra responsiblity. His boss is great - but he forgot about my son's special needs / differences. The mentor intervened - the boss reduced his responsibility /stress levels and gave him a $2 an hour rise to keep him.

I'm proud of my darling.

I am also proud of your little darling!!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Lucie1 - 03-16-2008 05:42 AM

He's my precious darling (at the moment) Janet Wink

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - ocampo - 03-16-2008 04:53 PM

I think so long as he knows that its cool to be himself, then he can survive a lot. Bullying is something that pretty much every Aspie faces in our lifetime; people are cruel at times, but equally, they aren't the kind of people you would want as friends anyway, now are they?

Thats just my 2p on it. What I've learned (the hard way) is that its far more important to be you and live your life. Not what everyone else is doing. School is a horrible place for having to be someone else. What I'd say is encourage him never to lose sight of himself, and how wondereful he is, and how special he is to you, and not to supress what he is... but equally, as a parent, encourage him to recognise that there is a time and a place for some of his stims (i.e. spinning). Thats very hard - one of my stims is that I make up other languages and think/talk about other worlds that I make up in my head when I can't deal with being on campus. Or when I'm upset. I sometimes stare at the sky and want to go home (yes, I'm one of those Aspies with the 'alien' complex Tongue

) - but then I think about how fantastic it is that I can be the anthropologist on Mars. I mean I'm 24 now and its taken me a long time to get to this stage, but thats with no family support. I find it really helpful when my friends just laugh if I start spinning or flapping - in fact my girlfriend and I were just in a mall having coffee, talking about Aspergers, and she decided that she was going to start spinning too. In the middle of a busy mall on a Sunday afternoon! And that made me laugh and feel so much more comfortable that I can be around people who don't give a toss, and actually think its kinda cool. She said that she thinks its cool that I can amuse myself for hours with my own little languages and stims - she burst out laughing when I said I was Saturn midspin. Randomness rocks! There will be kids out there who think its cool that your son is a true individual, but for the meantime, be that cool person who doesn't supress him, but guides him.

Also, you can be an Aspie and cool. Genuinely cool people don't give a toss what others think of them. The problem is that a lot of younger Aspies feel that because they don't wear the right clothes, have the right hair and say the right things, that they're not cool. Being in fashion and being cool are closely related but they are not the same thing. You can be in fashion, say and do all the right things etc but be a bumbling mess inside that is full of insecurity over how fat you look, whether or not Brad likes you yadda yadda yadda... but cool people, genuinely cool people, just get on with life. I think that with encouragement, support and respect, a lot more Aspies would be a lot more happy. We rock (sometimes literally Wink

), really, we do.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - moonbeam - 03-16-2008 09:42 PM

ocampo Wrote:

I think so long as he knows that its cool to be himself, then he can survive a lot. Bullying is something that pretty much every Aspie faces in our lifetime; people are cruel at times, but equally, they aren't the kind of people you would want as friends anyway, now are they?

Thats just my 2p on it. What I've learned (the hard way) is that its far more important to be you and live your life. Not what everyone else is doing. School is a horrible place for having to be someone else. What I'd say is encourage him never to lose sight of himself, and how wondereful he is, and how special he is to you, and not to supress what he is... but equally, as a parent, encourage him to recognise that there is a time and a place for some of his stims (i.e. spinning). Thats very hard - one of my stims is that I make up other languages and think/talk about other worlds that I make up in my head when I can't deal with being on campus. Or when I'm upset. I sometimes stare at the sky and want to go home (yes, I'm one of those Aspies with the 'alien' complex Tongue

), really, we do.

You sound awesome, ocampo! I hope he grows up with an attitude like yours.

I hope I didn't derail this thread. I enjoyed reading about all of the wonderful kids on here!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - ocampo - 03-16-2008 09:51 PM

I'm sure he'll be just fine Tongue

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - ethereal - 03-16-2008 10:19 PM

Well, my little chap has just turned 8. When he was 2 and a half he was seen by a paediatrician who said he was one of the worst cases of anxiety she had ever seen. He had masses of fears and phobias (amongst other things) and didn't stop screaming until he was nearly 4. He has had a lot of support BUT, it is through his own bravery that he has conquered many of his problems.

He is not gifted, he is not academic, but to see him happily running around the playground with his friend and to hear him chattering away to me about lampposts and telephone wires whilst happily walking past dogs and groups of people (just 2 of his previous fears and causes of meltdown) when we are out for a walk makes me immensely proud.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - quickduck - 03-17-2008 12:32 AM

My son is 6 and also very sensitive. He wakes up at night scared. He worries about stuff--just I worried about stuff--and continue to worry to this day. We are very much alike.

His sensitivity also has positives--he’s passionate about the things he enjoys and very knowledgeable. He’s a deep thinker--good at drawing and maths. He’s very hyperactive and great at gymnastics.

My other son is 3--and can play the Nintendo DS better than I can. He’s not sensitive. But has amazing strength of character. He doesn’t let anything bother him; knows exactly what he wants and how to get it.

My sons are very different…
I love them both very much and am very proud of them…and there differences.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - A True Monotheist - 03-17-2008 03:57 AM

B"H

I always feel a little self-conscious about posting here, since it is for the parents and not for the "Aspies."  I would like to respect that, since I do not have children and I am therefore in the other camp.  However, I hope that what I am about to post is of interest.  The following is a thread on "The Fifth Commandment and my NT Parents":

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=12107

Please take it as a perspective.  And, parents, I rejoice in your happiness.  Remember, however, that the true pride and joy of a parent is a child who has integrity, who models what is right, and who is consistent in his or her walk regardless of external circumstances or societal pressure.  Being a pianist or an Astrophysicist is an excellent accomplishment.  Being just an righteous is priceless beyond measure.

May this be the blessing that you all have in your children.  I wish you all Mazel Tov.  You are rich beyond measure.

All the best.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Chimera - 03-17-2008 04:28 AM

A True Monotheist Wrote:

B"H

I always feel a little self-conscious about posting here, since it is for the parents and not for the "Aspies."
http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=12107

Hi ATM, I think it is grand you pop up on various threads and leave little easter eggs (although you're Jewish, so I'll be thinking of a different analogy).

You link them so people can pass over (there that's more jewish!) or read them as they wish. thanks.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - happyheather91284 - 03-17-2008 05:32 AM

Congratulations on your beautiful children! Smile

I actually dated an Aspie musician once...a horn player. That kind of single-minded dedication really makes awesome musicians...not to mention the natural talent.

Again, congratulations. Parents are a main key to whether Aspie children succeed in life or fall on their faces...more so than with NT kids. We seem to need that extra little bit of reassurance.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - DW_a_mom - 03-18-2008 01:56 AM

I've gotten a lot of smiles reading this thread. Thank you, everyone!

I've already posted some boasts, but I discovered something new this past weekend. Another parent's daughter now has the teacher my son had in 2nd grade, and who was very good for him. That teacher apparently told this parent that in her opinion, there were 2 truly brilliant children in our school, and that my son was one of them. WOW. She never told me that, lol, although I certainly knew she thought highly of him. Just, by necessity I guess, so many of our conversations which each other were about the problem areas. Anyway, the idea that other people would be buzzing great things about my child when neither of us is there ... well, it is kind of cool. We always hope to make a positive impression, and we believe our son can do well, but none of us are all that social, when it comes right down to it, so most of the time the idea that any of us have a positive image among others is more hope than knowledge. To hear it means something. I am glad the mom told me.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - aprilbaker - 03-18-2008 03:31 AM

Creasy Wrote:

My six year old son Tyler has a special interest in trains. He can't get enough of them and loves talking about them. Then I have my mother who I suspect is Aspie (just like my boy and I) and she is a total clean freak.

Anyway, last Sunday night Tyler was having a sleep over at his granny's and he was talking about trains (as he does) and his granny says " I think you have a problem with trains" and he said "I think you have a problem with tidy" Lol.
My mum reckons she cracked up laughing. He's a classic.

LOL! I got a great laugh from that story! By the way, the train interest? It isn't likely to go away. I'm 30 and I'm still obssessed with 'em! =)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Quackers - 03-18-2008 04:40 PM

Our eldest who is 6 has been having a lot of problems with nightmares etc at the moment but we are really proud of him as he won ‘Star Of The Term’ in his school class. He was presented with a certificate and prize in the school assembly, he looked very proud of himself and I was proud with him to with a tear in my eye.

Our youngest who is 3 has now learnt to trace over his name a nursery so he is very proud with himself as are we.

I am proud of both our boys. Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Lucie1 - 03-19-2008 08:35 AM

A True Monotheist Wrote:

B"H

I always feel a little self-conscious about posting here, since it is for the parents and not for the "Aspies."  I would like to respect that, since I do not have children and I am therefore in the other camp.  However, I hope that what I am about to post is of interest.  The following is a thread on "The Fifth Commandment and my NT Parents":

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=12107

Please take it as a perspective.  And, parents, I rejoice in your happiness.  Remember, however, that the true pride and joy of a parent is a child who has integrity, who models what is right, and who is consistent in his or her walk regardless of external circumstances or societal pressure.  Being a pianist or an Astrophysicist is an excellent accomplishment.  Being just an righteous is priceless beyond measure.

May this be the blessing that you all have in your children.  I wish you all Mazel Tov.  You are rich beyond measure.

All the best.

There is just one camp here (IMO) please don't hint at separating people off into groups.
You make a very strong point - integrity is the ultimate ideal.
Thanks for the reminder.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Mahler5 - 03-19-2008 08:02 PM

Lucie1 Wrote:

A True Monotheist Wrote:

There is just one camp here (IMO) please don't hint at separating people off into groups.

Does ATM ever 'hint' at anything? :)
ATM there are parents who are aspies here, too, and even if you are in the "individuals without children" group-you can post in this thread unselfconciously, or any thread you like naturally. You write profoundish things, and I suspect you would make a good, righteous dad :)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - A True Monotheist - 03-27-2008 09:16 PM

B"H

Thank you Mahler5 and Lucie1 for your kind words.  Oddly, 5-1 is my birthday on the Gregorian Calendar.  It lined up with my Hebrew birthday when I turned 30!  (First Sphenic number)  It is interesting, if probably coincidental, that "5" and "1" both step up as I move closer to my birthday with such kind words, including what a "righteous dad" I would be.  Not to say that there is any "hidden meaning" necessarily...

OK, well, my point was simply that I respect the purpose of the forum.  If it is for parents, I am a bit reticent about intruding.  I have been taken to task via PM (in a very kind way) by a parent of a severely disabled child, or child with a severe disability to be person-first, if you prefer.  This parent is extremely kind, by the way. He/she is something of what many of you might call a "curebie".  Now---please---respect what this person's experience is, just as you want your experience respected.  Just as some of the well-intentioned things that parents and experts say may be very hurtful to many of you, so it is that some of the things that you or I might say could seem to be "politicizing" the Spectrum to parents.

Thus, with all of the pains in my life, very few of which I have really shared with this forum, but which have been ever present, I must respect the fact that I have never been the parent of any child, much less a child with severe disabilities.  My own experiences have been with a social and concentrative disability.  And, my friends, it is a disability as well as a gift. It is both.  And, to be fair, I love sunlight, I can drive when I want, vacation when I want (within economic reason), travel to other countries if I want (my reason for not doing so is connected with Asperger---the blasted plane ride---but I *could* overcome it), speak, walk, and do things that severely disabled people cannot do.  Thus, I am in no way "severely disabled."

Now, I know that "Autism" is not the disability, but that there are other things that could come with it ("comorbid", I believe the word is).  You know that, and I know that.  However, many parents do not understand our redefinitions of terms.  Defining "Autism" is a matter of semantics.  How we DEFINE Autism is different than how some of the parents define it.  I know a parent with a teen on the Spectrum.  He was made out to be, you know, "on the Spectrum", to the point that I figured that I would feel like a Neuro-typical compared with him.  As it was, when I met him, unbeknownst to me, I did not even know he was on the Spectrum until it was pointed out to be whose kid he was.  He seemed like...OK, here goes, sorry to put it this way....a "normal kid," as my still residually Neuro-centric mind would understand the term.  He was clearly an "Aspie", probably less so that I am.  Yet, he was "Autistic".  Wow!  So, how was I a "Neuro-typical" all of these years and he Autistic when it seems like we are both pretty similar?

Yet, the experience of some of the readers is very different.  Some are going to see the world differently.  In the case of the one parent with whom I communicated via PM, I encouraged this person to have no association with John B***, the Judge Rottenberg Center, and to be extremely leery of Autism Speaks.  Now, the last organization should not be compared with the first two...but, you get my point.  So much of the conversation focuses on the extreme end of the curve, those with severe disabilities who are classed as Autistic.  What is in a word?  How do we define people with language?  It is all very confusing.  This parent's son cannot speak, and is in extreme pain as he/she described him.  What can I say to that?  What is my "personal liberation" to this parent?  I would be a mocker if I even dared to intrude on this person's broodings.

That is why generally I do not post on this thread, except as a response to others.  This is the parents' perspective.  If they want to take me to task, to ask how I dare to comment when I can do all of the things that I do and their child cannot, then they may do so on my own threads.  They are welcome to do just that.  I would not intrude on theirs.  This is a consideration that I afford to them.

And, frankly, those on the more "Autistic" wing of the Spectrum are free to take me to task as well, while I will refrain from intruding too much on to "Spectrum Haven."  One young lady described how she was mistreated by a teacher in the computer lab.  She is under 18, and cannot freely protest.  Now, this teacher apparently figured that her status as a parent of a child on the Spectrum gave her all of these rights over others.  Yet, the young lady to whom she addressed herself taught herself Calculus!  Such arrogance on the part of anyone to address her like that!  Yet, from my own experience, while I have experienced mistreatment, I do not believe that I have had this type of experience (except at Chapman University, which leads to a whole other discussion about teacher credential programs).  Thus, I generally avoid the "Spectrum Haven" thread as well.  I have respect for others with experiences I have not had.  I do not feel that it is fair of me to intrude.

My experiences have been of social limitations more than other types of limitations. I cannot really be in crowds.  I cannot develop long-term relationships with ease.  Friendships seem to be on a one-on-one basis.  I tend to have obsessions.  I will spend hours in the library reading about them.  They tend to last for years.  And, I really do break license plates down in to primes.  Finally, I probably really do have a 30 IQ point differential between different areas of my own intelligence.

So, I am on the Spectrum.  And, to be honest, I believe that I may be more "Autistic" in less obvious respects than some people who are recognized as being on the Spectrum.  Now, to be clear, I am using the term "Autistic" in a *certain* way.  My use of the term does not imply a disability, or a desire to have the special services that others desperately need, but which I can live without, and which I would never *DARE* to appropriate from those that truly need them.  I am simply stating that I am more out of the norm in certain key areas than some of them are (albeit without their horrendous experiences, and any right to detract from their dignity).

I am not in the category of being in severe pain, or being unable to communicate.  Thus, I would never dare to post too much in either the parent's forum, or in the "Spectrum Haven", save for a few posts here and there.  My purpose here is therefore limited to those forums to which it is appropriate.  I recognize the rights of those on the parent and Spectrum haven forums to come on to mine, but I believe that I should respect their space.  It does not have to be even, because I am not in as much need as many of them are.  The sense in which I am on the Spectrum is different than the more severe experiences of many others.  My one disability is workplace discrimination.  That has been SEVERE in my life.  I will recognize that one, for sure.  It needs to be discussed as something that "HFA"/Aspie people might experience in a unique way.

Parents, let me end with this.  The person with whom I have been communicating took me to task for the "LFA created for a Holy Purpose" thread:

http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com/showthread.php?tid=11885

However, I believe that if that thread is rightly understood, it is key to what your experience could be.  You must *BELIEVE* yourself that people are created with a holy purpose.  You must believe it about yourself, as well as about your child.  If you cannot understand the concept of a holy purpose, you will have difficulty understanding your own plight as a parent, and you will have missed your reason for being.

Autistic children are respected by the holy Rabi'im in Israel.  They are respected because an individual life is the Universe to them.  True Rabbis have this wisdom.  False Rabbis, of whom there are too many, focus on building projects, money, social status, money, appearances, money, political power, money, praise, money...did I forget to mention money?  Real Rabbis are precious, and derive their authority as righteous Tzaddikim from Moses himself.  Now, don't let anyone fool you.  Tzaddikim do NOT come in bloodlines (necessarily).  Anyone can be one.  Just, remember to follow your holy Purpose.

All the best.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - miss nomer - 03-28-2008 12:20 AM

Quackers Wrote:

Our eldest who is 6 has been having a lot of problems with nightmares etc at the moment but we are really proud of him as he won ‘Star Of The Term’ in his school class. He was presented with a certificate and prize in the school assembly, he looked very proud of himself and I was proud with him to with a tear in my eye.

Our youngest who is 3 has now learnt to trace over his name a nursery so he is very proud with himself as are we.

I am proud of both our boys. Smile

Congrats on your little ones' achievements!

Our 5yo has almost completed his first term of school and we had parent-teacher interviews the other night. They couldn't rave enough about how wonderful and gorgeous he is and that they just wanted to take him home! Hehe. We are so proud and pleased he just loves school so much and is doing amazingly well. Today he is going to recieve a special award at the assembly so we, 2yo daughter and I, are getting ready to go and and watch and his nanna is coming too. He is very pleased we are coming, he told me not to forget to come about 6 times this morning. Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - quickduck - 03-28-2008 12:45 AM

miss nomer Wrote:

Quackers Wrote:

Thanks for you comments miss nomer.
Quackers is my wife…so she’s talking about my son too. lol Big Grin

Congratulations to your son special award…it’s great to she our children’s achievements recognised. I bet you can’t wait to see him receive it!

We also had parent-teacher interviews recently (in UK called ‘parent’s evening’); just hearing they’re doing well and not having problems can be a great boost. Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - miss nomer - 03-28-2008 03:19 AM

Thanks quickduck! Smile

Oh you should have seen his face when he saw us there today, he was so pleased he was grinning and grinning! He actually got 2 awards, but when they called his name he burst into tears! It was all a bit much for him the poor darling, he is too much like his mother. It is a big achievement that he is acutally attending the assemblies now let alone going up on the stage. I'm sure he will have plenty of opportunities to try again.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Pakrat - 03-28-2008 01:41 PM

Just because a child can't talk doesn't mean they are in severe pain. They could easily be frustrated that they can't communicate in such a way that they can make themselves understood. Severe autism can't be cured any more than mild autism can and it shouldn't be necessary to make autistic children talk for them to communicate.

Instead of wasting money on dubious therapies, wouldn't it be better to invest in the best technology possible to allow the child to communicate through writing or pointing?

For all we know, some of these "in pain" kids could be trying to communicate that they just wish to be left alone in their own world and not forced into doing things that are completely unnatural and inimical to them.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - woman from mars - 04-01-2008 01:10 AM

Number 0ne son aged 30 became internationally famous 10 months ago, for developing a blu-ray laser at an affordable price...around £100 or so ( they did exist at over £2000 ). There was so much interest that his website collapsed in the early days!!
His fame has remained at a consistent level & recently he has developed a higher powered device.
This laser is being used by cancer researchers, petroleum companies & universities worldwide.
Despite the fact that he has been unable to obtain other than a menial a job due to lack of paper qualifications, his advice has been sought by university professors and technological departments world wide.

He is colour blind and as a result has been unable to pursue his love of electronics as an employee, instead he used his skills using radiography. He built his first X-ray machine in my kitchen from bits & pieces when he was a teenager, now he is also an X-ray artist of promise.

This is some of his work...everyday items.

Nettle . Headphones

mouse cigarrettes

Seedpod Foxglove

alarm clock Seahorse
********************
Number one daughter aged 28 is a beautiful young woman, who suffered terribly during her teens through mental ill health, cutting herself & made many suicide attempts.
Through the support of her family, friends, colleagues & mainly herself, she has completely turned her life around.
Now she is very happily married & has a great job with the government where she is paid to take university courses in order to further her career.
*******************
Number two son aged 17 does not have any particular skills in the usual sense of the word, he is very interested in Playstation games & plays them constantly.
He loves us & he loves the cats, he is a very cuddly person & often sits on my lap, or lolls about on me. Smile

His greatest attribute is...HE IS CONTENT & HAPPY!!. Big Grin

I am so proud of all of my children. Big Grin

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Tigger_the_Wing - 04-01-2008 02:43 AM

Wow, WfM - those pictures are awesome! (In the old-fashioned sense - they fill me with awe)

You have three fantastic children! Big Grin

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-01-2008 03:13 AM

Wow, I am a proud parent as well, I know you have probably always felt proud of your children. You must be feeling so happy that your children are being recognized and are happy. That is my main goal as a mom to my three. I cannot imagine that my children will invent something as fantastic and useful for science, but that does not mean my children might not imagine it someday. I am awed by the pictures!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - kattoo13 - 04-18-2008 02:26 PM

my son has had his training wheels on his bike for over 2 years. last night he learned to ride his bike w/o them. it was a proud moment. the look on his face was priceless. he fell off twice, but just kept on trying. all he said was "never give up."

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-18-2008 02:27 PM

Wow, without training wheels - sweet freedom! congratulations!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - kattoo13 - 04-18-2008 03:24 PM

honestjohn Wrote:

Wow, without training wheels - sweet freedom! congratulations!

thanks! it was so wonderful to see him finally reach his goal.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-29-2008 11:16 PM

Here is my daughter who just had her Communion this past Friday... the boy on the far right is honest john aka Super JK > The other kids are relatives....
Our daughter is beautiful on the inside! (too)

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-29-2008 11:17 PM

Oh bummer, the picture came out tiny - this is the first timne I managed to get a picture on here... oh well.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-29-2008 11:20 PM

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-29-2008 11:21 PM

one more try:

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-30-2008 02:11 AM

honestjohn Wrote:

one more try:

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - honestjohn - 04-30-2008 02:12 AM

Sorry, meant to say Hi to Korrigan... daughter Grace is on the left and honest john - aka Super JK is all the way on the right. the others are relatives.. picture taken this past Saturday for 1st Holy Communion, other son is also on the right - with no head,,...

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Wilhemina - 04-30-2008 05:54 AM

Oh my goodness your children are SO BEAUTIFUL. They shine with love and kindness. What a wonderful family (she tries to type with Siamese on her chest trying to eat the cursor.)

Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Tigger_the_Wing - 04-30-2008 06:02 AM

kattoo13, please congratulate your son for me! It is a wonderful thing, to persevere inspite of setbacks!

And honestjohn, I'm with Korrigan - your children are beautiful!

Korrigan - my cat sometimes lies on my chest too when I'm using the laptop, but she tries to type... Smile

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Lucie1 - 04-30-2008 07:26 AM

Your children are beautiful - just lovely.

John you are very handsome.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Marcia - 04-30-2008 03:42 PM

Oh, well done with the photo. I've can never work out the size thing!

What lovely children and a very special day! Smile

A definate rites of passage!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Ellen - 04-30-2008 05:11 PM

beautiful children.

My first thought was "How can you look at such a photo of such beautiful children and NOT at least believe in the possibility of indigo, crystal and rainbow children?".

Off my box now. I will post a picture of an obvious "crystal" child I spent time with in Sedona, AZ last year (Sidney). Here's the thing about crystals- they can be in pain and not complain. There are obviously very old souls.

A co-worker's child, an indigo, went to the prom with an overweight boy she knew 'cause he didn't want to go alone. How many kids will do that?! She also went to another prom with her regular boyfriend...

Ellen

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - kattoo13 - 04-30-2008 05:19 PM

Tigger_the_Wing Wrote:

kattoo13, please congratulate your son for me! It is a wonderful thing, to persevere inspite of setbacks!

I will...thanks.

And HonestJohn, cute kids!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Silver - 07-03-2008 06:29 PM

We were just talking about something that is rude to ask people you do not know, but that you can ask your family. In this case, how old are you?

My husband explains that there are a lot of things you can do in our family, but not necessarily anywhere else, as we are bizarre!

My daughter smiles, a big beaming one, and says with a big hug being helped onto my husband, "I love being bizarre!"

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Wilhemina - 07-29-2008 07:33 PM

I took my daughter to the building where the child care center for my office is held, for her 3 hours there this morning. We came up the back street and went towards the building. She looked at me and said "Well either this building has changed its facade, or we are entering on the other side." LOL!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - OneMillionThings - 08-09-2008 01:23 AM

Hi! I'm a new member....and this is my first post. I am the proud mom of a 5 year old Aspie. I love everything that makes him so unique. He has made some really funny plays-on-words ever since he was 2. Things like, "Be care-empty," (instead of "careful"), "I'm wrong-ing my name," (instead of "writing"), "Are you listening to your I-Potty?" (instead of I-Pod), etc.

I also love how he asks adults, "Are you a million years old?"

This is such a great site! Thanks for letting me share about my son!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Marcia - 08-09-2008 01:32 AM

Hi OneMillionThings and Welcome to AFF! Smile

My son will be 7 at the end of the year and he's always really enjoyed wordplay as well!

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - EnglishLulu - 08-09-2008 03:08 AM

My daughter is 22, she was diagnosed with ADD while still at school years ago. She's very stubborn and determined (a bit of a chip off the old block). She's trained as a chef.

She was a very beautiful child, when she was a toddler we used to get stopped while out shopping or whatever and people used to say how beautiful she was. After being told this so many times by total strangers I eventually took her along to a casting for a child model agency and they took a portfolio of photographs and signed her up. Even as a teenager she did work for GAP, although she modelled clothes for internal style sheets as opposed to magazine or billboard ads.

She got married in May to a really lovely guy and has a beautiful smiley baby son.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Wilhemina - 08-27-2008 01:44 AM

My daughter started school yesterday, and found that her new teacher was unaware of her special needs, when she did not scribe for her as is part of her IEP. My daughter went up to her desk, asked to see the teacher outside of class, and explained to her that she has learning differences and that she has an IEP that will explain to the teacher her special needs in class.

She is 8 years old, going on 9. I am so incredibly proud of her.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - 2EM - 08-27-2008 03:56 AM

Korrigan Wrote:

My daughter started school yesterday, and found that her new teacher was unaware of her special needs, when she did not scribe for her as is part of her IEP. My daughter went up to her desk, asked to see the teacher outside of class, and explained to her that she has learning differences and that she has an IEP that will explain to the teacher her special needs in class.

She is 8 years old, going on 9. I am so incredibly proud of her.

Wow, she is really on the ball! I probably at that age would've said or done nothing.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Max the Bear - 08-27-2008 06:12 AM

2EM Wrote:

I probably at that age would've said or done nothing.

I don't think "saying and doing nothing" is in Little Korrigan's genes. Wink

As a teacher, I know how difficult it would be for a kid twice her age to talk with a teacher in that way. That's quite a kid.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - silky - 08-27-2008 02:58 PM

2EM Wrote:

Korrigan Wrote:

Wow, she is really on the ball! I probably at that age would've said or done nothing.

That's great Korrigan. That sure is brave and mature. Heck I still remember how in 3rd grade I was so shy when I whispered to the teacher that I wanted permission to go to the laboratory. She kept saying "What?" I had to say it louder each time, fearing the other kids would hear and thinking the teacher quite dense. Years later I realized the problem. I had been trying to ask to use the "lavatory".

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - 142857 - 04-09-2011 03:23 PM

*bump*

This is a good thread to show people who are worried about my 6-year-old son.

I think he's going to be just fine. With a lot of love and support, of course.

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - Ana54 - 04-09-2011 05:14 PM

My son probly isn't autistic but his dad and I are PDD-NOS and we noticed our smart genes in him. He was almost crawling at 2 days old. I think he might have the best of both worlds. He's 2 now and seems to like intellectual-like videos and counting and saying the alphabet, but he also loves attention and playing outside... hmmmm...

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - black butterfly - 04-12-2011 01:34 AM

my futre child if i ever get there will be awesome....

RE: The "Boasting about our children" thread - johnH - 04-12-2011 11:29 AM

My children will be awesome becaus eI come from awesome family and awesomeness is a genetic trait.
also… I’ll teach them to be awesome.