Guys, pat yourselves on the back (at least figuratively).
Some guy was on Dateline last night giving excuses for his attempt to go and have sex with whom he believed was a 13 year old girl.
He mentioned being depressed, having trouble because he's Asian, passed over women on his own level (age and otherwise) because he was worried about being cast off as a geek (maybe two separate predator men in their twenties, I was working out at Gold's and I wasn't paying attention)
Look here all online predators! I am depressed too, damnit! I went to McDonalds after the workout, I was too depressed to think about even microwaving spaghetti for self at home.
I worry about being dismissed by a geek, although I am not Asian.
I feel emotionally insecure because I like women who seem to have their lives all together (or want me to think so, and are succeeding at it), but I think they are too good for me. Cool women, socially savvy, extroverted, maybe cheerleaders grown up. I work with a few. Back at the end of March, I even had a mind's eye visualization of myself as a crab or mollusk or something hiding in my shell because I damn well knew I was vulnerable romantically. It was a Friday afternoon and I hoped they would take off early, remove that stress.
But I do not have anything to do with girls under 18.
In fact, I really don't MySpace much at all, and when I do, it is with women whom a reasonable person using MySpace would consider to be adults.
The youngest woman I'd even think about going out with is college age.
I'd cut my wrists or my neck before I would type that kind of garbage to someone I thought was under 18. That kind of live chat is just out of line!
I am single.
Women with who I am intellectually, academically, and professionally parallel don't pursue me, and I don't usually pursue them.
Popular culture might say I am beneath the status of some women, but the women themselves might not buy into that reasoning.
You're not a loser simply because of how often you're not dating per se. You have to cross a line to be a loser. An age line.
So pat yourself on the back, guys, if you are lonely, overlooked, and what not, but would not have anything to do with a minor, ever.
1. Perhaps for many so-called all-together perfect women, they either fear being seen as they see themselves, or they know if they were seen for who they are, they would be treated less well. Additionally, some may crave to be loved for who they see themselves to be (real selves).
2. Max the Bear said it first, but if a woman is willing to settle for the mere appearance of integrity for his looks and street cred, it will work well if he never betrays her or if she never finds out. If he betrays her and she finds out, she's not only back where she started, she is hurting really badly. To make matters worse, she might be too scared to try again, regardless of how starving she is for love, or she might believe she doesn't deserve real love anyway if she feels guilty for how she passed over some guys (like us?).
Duck, I liked your rule of thumb. It works for me.
I'd date older women but I think they'd think they were going too far with "children", in that I am the age of their children, they are correct. Beauty lasts a long time, and also, I think when people get beyond a certain age they think life is too short for prejudice. Not like how people do when they think they will live forever.
A good rule of thumb, if you're 18+, as to the minimum age of a person you should be dating is half your age + 9.
That's a pretty ridiculous formula.
The way I interpreted what he wrote was that if you're 18 and 18 only you should be dating someone half your age +9, which would mean the person is 18.
If that wasn't your intent you could've covered it up that way.
The video released (aired heavily censored on CNN where I saw the report) shows that she did it voluntarily. He was under 18, as was she. Two years difference isn't that big. If you're 23 and the person is 15, than there is. The 10 years was ridiculous. My mum was astonished when she saw that report with me on CNN.
Absolutely correct. An 80 year old man should not date a woman that is 48 years, 364 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds old.
I know one "feature" of AS is rigid thinking, but give me a break.
It's your brilliant formula, Duck, and it shows a lot of rigidity, but not much thinking. If it sounds stupid to you now, join the rest of us.
I still say, it would have been better if it was as how I interpreted it, that: He wrote that if you're 18 and 18 only you should be dating someone half your age +9, which would mean the person is 18.
Other than that, spot on with the guy. He in no way deserved 10 years. That's horrible.
This woman is a child "molester" she was a teacher who slept with her 14 year old student. He wanted to and arranged times with her but the law is the law, and I agree with the law.
Here she is: I really have no comment here.
I knew you'd get defensive, Max, but you exceeded my expectations. Bringing up Glenn Beck from our previous conversation? *L*
No, the article didn't say they were 'in love' but it did leave out some of the critical points of the case - such as the rape!! It shouldn't have stopped at 'he's not a child molester' it should have continued to say 'he's a rapist'. But it didn't serve the authors point, so he conveniently left it out.
The law was written to catch child molesters. It happens to snag young people who might think they are in love*and it happens to catch young dirtbags, like the fellow in the article you posted. Of course there should be different laws for different offenses and sentencing should be on a case by case basis so I'm glad they are trying to change things.
My problem with your article is that it is trying to drum up sympathy for a rapist. The guy deserves to be in jail - not for child molestation, but for his behavior in general at that party. His life isn't 'ruined' because of jail, he's getting the slap in the head he needs before he goes on to do what he did to other young girls.
Have you seen the video? It wasn't rape at all. His hands were on top of his hair and he sat there while it went on. Nothing. He didn't even threaten her or anything. I don't know where you're getting the info from.
By the way, the woman in that picture I posted is Debra Lafave.
My question: Why did she do that when she could probably get anyone her own age?
I knew you'd get defensive, Max, but you exceeded my expectations. Bringing up Glenn Beck from our previous conversation? *L*
No, the article didn't say they were 'in love' but it did leave out some of the critical points of the case - such as the rape!! It shouldn't have stopped at 'he's not a child molester' it should have continued to say 'he's a rapist'. But it didn't serve the authors point, so he conveniently left it out.
The law was written to catch child molesters. It happens to snag young people who might think they are in love*and it happens to catch young dirtbags, like the fellow in the article you posted. Of course there should be different laws for different offenses and sentencing should be on a case by case basis so I'm glad they are trying to change things.
My problem with your article is that it is trying to drum up sympathy for a rapist. The guy deserves to be in jail - not for child molestation, but for his behavior in general at that party. His life isn't 'ruined' because of jail, he's getting the slap in the head he needs before he goes on to do what he did to other young girls.
As for the original post - I LOVE LOVE LOVE this show - not watching it, I don't care to watch much of it, but the fact that it exposes these perverts is beautiful justice. Especially since they are such idiots in the face of their sexual urges. Guess Who - you made some excellent points in your first post.
That said, IMO the worst forms of child/teen rape and sexual exploitation doesn't come from predators on line who convince an unsupervised kid to meet them for sex. Rather, it is a far worse crime when those who are trusted with power and respect exploit their positions by preying on those that look up to them. There are creepy priests, teachers, doctors, family members, government officials etc out there acting upon the opportunities that come to them to take advantage of their positions of power for sexual gratification.
It's disgusting and tragic because most of them get away with it.
* (a teenager can decide if they want to have sex, but do they really understand all of the ramifications? Add to that the fact that an older one can so easily manipulate a younger one and you have a good case to make it against the law )
I'm still not getting this. He was 17, she was 15, that is a typical high school relationship. To say he's a child molester , basically comparing him to 54 year olds who molest 8 year olds, is just inconceivable. I don't care if it wasn't an act of love, he didn't rape her. He didn't threaten, force, or "talk her into" doing it. It was "that" type of party and they all got involved. A 17 year old and a 13 year old I'd understand, but they were close in age. Its underage sex. Calling him a rapist and child molester is ridiculous. I'm going to agree with Max 'til the end on this one.
In Georgia, a 17 year old was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison (without parole) for consensual oral sex with a 15 year old.
NYTimes:
Editorial
Free Genarlow Wilson Now
Genarlow Wilson loves reading mystery novels and can’t wait for the next Harry Potter book. The 20-year-old former high school football player and honor student works in a library, the perfect job for a young bookworm. Unfortunately, that is where the good news ends and a genuine horror story of this country’s legal system begins.
The library in Georgia where Mr. Wilson works is in prison. He is two years into a sentence for engaging in consensual oral sex with a 15-year-old girl at a New Year’s Eve party when he was 17. He won’t be eligible for parole until he has served 10 years, essentially sacrificing his remaining youth to an obvious miscarriage of justice.
As Shaila Dewan reported in The Times this week, Mr. Wilson has been convicted of aggravated child molestation even though he and the girl were both minors at the time. Even if he could win an early release, Mr. Wilson could not go home to his family. He would have to register as a sex offender and would be prohibited from living with his 8-year-old sister. It is all the more disgraceful because the Georgia Supreme Court last week refused to hear his appeal.
The sexual act took place during a party involving sex, marijuana and alcohol, all captured on a graphic videotape. But that does not make Mr. Wilson a child molester. When high school students engage in consensual sexual activity, that is not the same as an adult molesting a teenager or a teenager molesting a child.
What makes this case more absurd is that if Mr. Wilson and the young woman had sexual intercourse, he would have been guilty only of a misdemeanor and not required to register as a sex offender, thanks to a provision in the law meant to avoid just this type of draconian punishment for consensual youthful indiscretions, the “Romeo and Juliet” exception. And since Mr. Wilson’s conviction, the law has been changed to exempt oral sex as well. But the courts say that can’t help Mr. Wilson retroactively.
His lawyer is planning to file a habeas petition seeking his release. The courts need to grant it and expunge his record so that Mr. Wilson can return to his family and his once promising academic career. Legislators in other states should take notice and make sure that their own laws do not catch children in dragnets designed for predatory adults.
Max, you know he's been released now right? It was aired live on television a month back. He didn't even have intercourse either, so how is her "doing" what she did considered him raping her? That's where 7' o clock doesn't make any sense because the girl did everything on her own.
The age of consent in Canada has been raised to 16 I believe, it used to be 14 (which I think is too low) but what happened, and now him being listed as a sex offender, has ruined his life.
Max, you know he's been released now right?
A judge ordered his release, calling it "cruel and unusual punishment" -- BUT the crazed DA immediately appealed it to the Georgia Supreme Court in order to keep him locked up. The Supreme Court heard the case last week, but probably won't release a decision until September. The DA blocked Genarlow's release on bond pending appeal, even though Genarlow's supporters raised a million dollar bond. He's still in prison.
This is just terrible. My mum who is a parent, has a daughter as well (my sister who is 15) said what they're doing to him is terrible, and that she can't believe he's going through this. My mum is in the medical field, she's very careful about things, and she agreed that this was just downright unfair treatment.
I just can't believe he's still in jail.
I guess geeks aren't good enough for her... adult ones I mean.
This woman is a child "molester" she was a teacher who slept with her 14 year old student. He wanted to and arranged times with her but the law is the law, and I agree with the law.
Here she is: I really have no comment here.
Erase the word black and put nerd.
Wikipedia, last March under article Nerd:
They also serve as socially inept foils to much more charming main characters, and are sometimes depicted as being lovelorn and longing for attractive females who are beyond their status. Nerds are often used for comic relief, for example by overconfidently making advances toward a woman they like but being rebuffed in a rude (but funny) manner. Sometimes they are made to be overconfident to the point of obnoxiousness, to make them seem deserving of their poor treatment.
The treatment of a young black man who was uppity enough to enjoy a white woman strikes my nerve.
These examples do not involve minors but they make my point that nerds are punished when they are out of line
1980-something, The Fall Guy: Colt (Lee Majors) and Jody Banks (Heather Thomas) deliberately mislead a nerd (for a benevolent reason I presume) into thinking he can buy Jody's favors with some kind of deal. When it is just Jody and the nerd, she shows him otherwise. I distinctly remember the nerd is not mean, merely naive. Colt then offers some man-to-man advice.
1990: I was out of line to like, and possibly annoy slightly, but not stalk, a female sophomore classmate who had introduced herself over the summer of 1989 and subsequently proceeded to teach me friendship and Christianity. In my defense, her behavior was unusal, it flies in the face of how high school and college age women usually treat nerds. Her boyfriend coerced her, by threatening my safety, into terminating me, around May finals, and fortunately he dumped her in the fall semester.
But the Christian Student Union top man (president?) either told me he hoped I had learned a lesson or asked me if I did. He said nothing else to me in 17 years, and last words get remembered. Anecdotal, but did the nerd get what was coming to him?
1988: Red Dwarf first season episode #4 ("Waiting for God"), which I saw in spring semester 1992 on Maryland Public Television, discussing the possibility of the alien life that sent what later turned out to be the Red Dwarf's own garbage pod.
Rimmer: (describing hypothetical alien woman with six breasts)
Lister: Wow! Imagine making love to a women with six breasts!
Rimmer: Imagine making love to a woman. (audience, loud sigh)
Of course these examples do not involve the criminal justice system, but they illustrate my point that our culture, especially our popular culture, oppresses nerds and sanctions their "misbehavior".
The oppressive culture kills nerds. Not just the ones who commit suicide, but the ones pregnant women abort because in their (proper?) estimation of popular culture, their potentially-Asperger's offspring are better off dead.
And yes Max, the culture kills GLBT too. Not just the suicides but the murders (Matthew Shepard and Brandon Teena).
Maybe that is why I try not to give GLBT a hard time, even if I must insist that religions be portrayed accurately. We have common enemies.
We need to be a little more honest about the real underlying issue here...
Meaning that for him to allow Wilson -- a young black male who almost surely stokes unshaven, O.J. Simpson-type fears in the minds of many whites -- to walk means some of his votes will walk too. So Baker’s ambitions -- ambitions that hinge on what white people think of him -- serve to keep him in his place.
But it seems McDade wasn’t driven by that possibility -- or by any sensitivity toward the youths whose identities apparently weren’t concealed in the videotape. What drove him is the fact that he couldn’t break Wilson; that unlike the other guys involved in the encounter and who accepted pleas -- an encounter in which a jury agreed that no rape was committed -- he wouldn’t “take his medicine.”
Wilson didn’t know his place. And McDade is obsessed with putting him into it.
And McDade’s decision to distribute the videotape should tell the world that this case, if it ever was, is no longer about protecting girls like the ones who found themselves caught up in a teenage orgy with Wilson and his buddies.
It’s now about revenge. It’s about the fear of what will happen if one black man’s plight does more to expose the system’s shortcomings than his own.
It’s about keeping them in their place.
Ann Coulter, hmmm, nice appearance, bad attitude.
Let's not fall into the trap of thinking, unjustifiably, that one another on this board are as bad as the people who really did try to do us harm. I take it for granted unless proven otherwise that we really are on the same side here because we care about Asperger's.