Aspies For Freedom

I've seen some other thread in which people were bitching about their psychiatrist, and I have to agree. I think my previous two psychiatrists would've been better, especially the last one... she seemed great.

I'd asked this psychiatrist though about PDDs last time I saw her but there wasn't time to talk about them, so she brought them up again this time. It seemed like she'd bothered to read the Cliff's Notes on them in the two weeks between the appts or something. Basically, she told me that I can't have a PDD because I've been married for 2.5 years and that's extremely unusual for people with ASDs. Which, of course, is bullshit... just look at the number of books on Aspies and long-term relationships... I mentioned that we met online, and I mentioned that we had had tons of couples counseling... She said that that wasn't relevant at all, because tons of normal couples need couples counseling. Then, she also said that people with a sibling with an ASD have only a 5% chance of having an ASD as well... I don't know about the odds, but I've seen a study that said that people with a sibling with *autism* have a 5% chance of having *autism*, which is very different from what she said. Then she went on to assume I was only inquiring about this because I was worried about my baby, and told me that she believes that the odds of me having a child with an ASD are not any larger than of anyone else's child having an ASD. I told her that I'm not worried about having a child with an ASD... that I wouldn't mind it at all if the child were an Aspie or had PDD-NOS, although I'd prefer it if the child weren't classicly autistic, but that I thought the odds of the latter were rather small... but she wouldn't listen. Then, she said that I might have some slight social problems (mind you, I haven't had any friends in over a decade) but that I don't have any repetitive behaviors and such unless she'd missed something... so I told her about the trichotillomania, which she more or less ignored. So, her final conclusion was that I might have some traits but that I definitely am nowhere near bad enough to be diagnosed with anything. I guess that means that my husband can't have an ASD either because he's also been married for 2.5 years... Same for a bunch of people on this forum... sorry, y'all have been misdiagnosed...

My psychiatrist is dumb.

Hey isn't that hair-pulling? I do that alot thats why I cut my hair. My friend has the same too...thats why she has a fuzzy head little hair ^^

Marieke, this glass is half full, because you don't want your baby labeled before birth, even!  You can diagnose yourself, you don't need an expert (who is clueless).  I'm glad to hear you'd welcome an Aspie baby, and you are way ahead of the game here, unlike me.  My Aspie husband and I have been married for fourteen years, together for twenty-two, so now we're automatically not Aspies either, right?!  HaHa.  Our baby (well, four year old) is total Aspie, and we've had all sorts of experts called in as a result.  You don't want to go through that, especially not now.  I'm thrilled to have an Aspie child, she and I are two peas in a pod.  An NT child would be impossible to understand, and would possibly end up being ashamed/embarrassed by her Aspie parents.  We are all a good fit for each other.  Please accept your own expertise in these matters!

Batman, I've felt the same way about therapy, and pretty much everything else, which really really STINKS.  I've read thousands of books, and now I just want to throw all of that information out of my head, since it only applies to NTs.  And my psychology degree is equally worthless, at least when it comes to understanding myself and my husband.  But on the other hand, it's good to figure that out, instead of continuing to look for answers in the wrong places.  I think this forum is a much better place to look for real answers.

My Pediatrician said I couldn't have AS because I looked people in the eyes when I talk. He referred me to a specialist and I was diagnosed after two and a half hours. Even though my parents were both in the medical field, read up on AS and agreed, the pediatrician still did that. Maybe its an ego thing. If you think you are something and tell them they get all defensive because you're "playing doctor". Thats the only thing I can think of.

Yes, I realized too late that my last post didn't come out right.  Big surprise!! Not.  Anyway, hyke, you are of course correct.  I don't know squat about NT kids.  The only kid I know is my own, and I am SOOOO lucky to have her.  I just love everything about her, so it SEEMS if I had an NT child I would be disappointed or would miss those Aspie qualities, but I don't know.  It does bug the heck out of me to hear the parents at my mixed group complain about their Aspie kids, so I may just overreact in the opposite direction for some sort of bizarre balance.  Odds are, I think, that two Aspie parents will have an Aspie child, so I just wanted to state outright, and to Marieke, that having an Aspie kid is fabulous and amazing, as she is likely to hear otherwise about the burden, shame, etc. etc. ad nauseum, literally.

And, BTW, after I found my niche in school (with the "smart kids") I was shockingly social.  After I lost that niche, I lost my social skills too.  Or maybe the skills weren't that great, but I had a lot of friends, and two best friends.  Much like Liane wrote about, the bottom fell out when I went to college.

She's merely my SSRI prescription writing machine. That's what most psychiatrists are nowadays, aren't they? She's doing a fine job writing prescriptions for the stuff I want, and that's what's most important. For counseling I prefer using my psychologist... it's just that I wasn't currently seeing a psychologist and I wanted to talk about PDDs and  so I decided to give her a try.

Huh? Not sure what you mean...

Marieke sounds like the USA Today article Max found.  For some reason Asperger's and love seem to be irreconcilable to many mental health professionals.  

I blew my top over the article, confided in a co-worker, received an affirmation that I am well regarded at DTI Associates Inc. (parent company Haverstick).

I guess that explains our corporate "Love Boat" cruise on the Potomac Odyssey, and why there is no "love" on my "boat" just yet.

Batman, for your own safety, please do not take Straterra. That is an Eli Lilly drug number one, and two it will damage you. It gave me hallucinations (only when tired), made my heart beat uncontrollably and didn't work at all.

I demanded my doctor take me off it and he said he was getting several complaints, that one guy on Stratterra took all of the screens off in his house, put them in a pile and burned them for no apparent reason. I really should take legal action against this doctor. Come on. Is that supposed to be funny to tell me that after I took the thing? That's the one drug that's done the most damage. I stopped taking it two years ago and have never looked back. I don't any medication for anything anymore (before it was just for ad/hd and anxiety) which I don't have ad/hd so it was useless.

Research Zyprexa and you'll know what I'm talking about. I was on that too for a reason I don't understand. I now have to sue Eli Lilly because I have to have surgery because of that drug. I hope my doctor is questioned as well.

I sent you a private message that explains it.

I really have zero clue why I'm on Zyprexa. When I met with the surgeon who did the operation, he looked, asked what medications I was on...and later that day I got a call from my doctor's office telling me to stop taking that drug, even though I never asked.

The Autism Specialist/Doctor told me it was not necessary to be on any medication at all since it would make things worse, and said I should stop taking Zoloft.

Okay, I understand now. Yeah, that was one of the reasons I didn't bother arguing too much with her over it.

HAH!!!  Gotcha, Batman!!!  You admitted you're intelligent, here for all the world to see, and you can't edit it.

Marieke, I feel the same way when school personnel tell me how well my daughter is doing in school, when she had all of those skills BEFORE she started school.  I was getting daily reports like, "Today ---- learned the letter P."  And I would go on rant to my husband.  WTF!!!  This child is the only one in her class who can READ, and they're telling me she's learning the alphabet??  I don't think so.  

As for some Aspie traits applying, and others not, yes I agree big time with that too, and I think the main problem is NTs trying to be experts on AS.  They CANNOT understand, and yet they presume to explain it to the rest of us.  And the stereotypes are just that.  Maybe 80% of autistics have theory of mind problems, but the other 20% don't, and "they" can't explain why, so they just overgeneralize and say autistics are mindblind.  It's total BS.  I've been going back to some original research and it's shocking how the original results have been forgotten or left behind.  This is NOT rocket science, and yet they act like it is.  I'll bet there are as many female autistics as male, but they only see what they expect to see.  There's another thread that goes into this more, I think it's the one about hyper-intelligent Aspie females.  I personally think the hormone estrogen gives us Aspie females an advantage in many areas the males are more lacking in, but that's just my crackpot theory!

To be honest, my parents paid for the plane ticket.

I feel like I've messed everything up pretty badly, and that I could've prevented a lot of that if I'd been aware sooner. On the bright side, I'm aware now.

I've been doing a lot of reading and thinking about Asperger's etc recently. Also talked a fair amount to my husband about it. Reading other people's descriptions of the problems Aspies have has made it easier to verbalize certain things myself, which has been good. My husband finally understands that I'm often correct when I tell him that he's stressed, even when he hadn't noticed that himself. He's also realized that he sometimes hyperfocuses on stuff, losing sight of the bigger picture. Communication between us seems to be going better.

Now all we need to do is figure out how to find the money to be able to feed ourselves. (Ahem).