Aspies For Freedom

Has anyone found genuine support  for their student in a  college in New England?  My son is hoping to reside in college, and believes he'll be comfortable in a smallish place. He will qualify for third and fourth tier schools.

It's a little difficult for us to help with such questions Lina as our membership is largely (though not exclusively) European

Good luck!

I wonder what would be classed as a "small" university? The one I went to had about 5,000 students and I found that number fairly overwhelming but some people said that is small for a university.

I am from England so can't help on what you are asking however about a small uni, yes that is a good idea one with a campus with everything on site too not the city ones that have faculties and residences set across the city (if they are like that in the US), I know because I went to both types of uni the first being a city college I hated and dropped out by the end of the first semester.  I then went to a lovely little university in Aberystwyth Wales, it had a campus overlooking the sea by a small welsh town.  I never had support though because I was diagnosed a longtime after I graduated college but managed to makes lots of friends and get a 2.1 History degree.

I suppose we won't be much help since the original posting was in 2004...

I think if you can go there and get a feel for it that's the best way to know. Plus it would give your son/daughter a chance to see it and prepare for changes. The more correct the expectations, the easier the transition, IMO.

I reckon he may want to be close to home.  I was at Shepherd [College] (it is a University now) when my parents lived within commuting distance.  My primary mistake was career counseling.....  selecting a career field with a lot of numerical competition (I studied sociologiy for the instruction guide value of living in the USA- it is about as cut and dried as it gets to getting an instruction manual to life in America, but the career prospects are poor even if you are willing to work with disadvantaged people- the people who hire won't be bluffed, and even with advanced education, the competition is such that, presumably, either your very fine tuned nonverbal skills or your obesity or both will be a lightning rod for prejudice).

If all it was was 100 or 120 extra pounds or some kind of finessing, what a terrible shame to the taxpayers of Maryland..... In my new career I am a Web developer.  The nice folks of the state of Maryland ended up paying the full equivalent of slightly over a semester of community college (22 credits) on the grounds of a state VR facility when I already had a B.S. and M.A. at my own expense from the state of West Virginia.

The most likely theory here: numerical competition.  United States employers do as they please and have usually done, unless they have to change (World War II, men off to war, or a very tight labor market, depending on the occupational sector).  Make sure you exploit tight occupational sectors.  Count on the employer to do what they have to, if they have to.

Incidentally, I grew up in Maryland.  Dad planned the WV retirement for 20 years (let's just say after 13 years of marriage, unsuccessful attempts at children, and two incomes, God opens a door, and two eventually came anyway). He was a friggin genius, Federal employee born in Wisconsin, but not Appalachia.

I'd advise going to a university close to home unless either relationships with the rest of the family are very strained or unless the course you really want to do isn't close to home.

Ah now, I think I'd have been far better off living at home had that been possible. Love bombing is a tactic used by some religions and certainly a dangerous one as they target people with vulnerabilities.

There isn't any real evidence to say that Cho was Aspergic or if he was, that he didn't have significant co-morbid mental conditions. I don't think he is truly representative of the Aspie population in general.

It also isn't true that male aspies far outnumber females. Maybe "diagnosed" male aspies do, but once more and more becomes known about this condition, all the females who've been "flying under the radar" as it were, will be more likely to be properly diagnosed.

Had you been living at home, you might not have had the kind of breakdown you did. Not all kids are ready to leave home at 18, especially if they have disabilities. I'd also suspect that the overeating at college was your reaction to being unhappy and had you been home, the weight gain could have been nipped in the bud more quickly.

It's cheaper to live at home and you avoid the conflicts of sharing a dorm with another person (this must be a specifically US thing; where I went to college, we all had our own rooms - I could never have coped if I had to share)

I'm not too fussed about religious people witnessing to me because I don't want to be put on the spot and pressured. It's worse when it is an attractive person of the opposite sex who might just be pretending to like you so you will join their religion so I think you have a very valid point about same-sex witnessing being better.

Yes, it IS a bad idea. I'm firmly convinced of it. All too often. we're kicked out of the nest way before we are really ready. I would not be surprised if you comfort ate your way through college. I did the opposite and  lost my appetite because I got very homesick. We are often a few years behind our peers in emotional and social development so it's no wonder we struggle with the non-academic aspects of college.

If she was so concerned back then, she could have said something years ago and not just "you're a greedy pig" (which would have only made you feel worse about yourself).

But didn't your mum and dad teach you proper table manners at home before you went away to college? Some women like to see a man enjoying his food but I don't suppose too many would be impressed if he spilt a lot down his front and/or chewed with their mouth open.

Did they have a cafeteria at the college where you stayed? Surely they would have put on the meals with plenty of time for you to get to class afterwards?

Possibly. It's a shame you couldn't have carried some snacks with you to lectures but I don't know if that would have been frowned upon or not.

Some crisps and a fruit juice might have been a better choice.