Aspies For Freedom

Hi everyone,

My son 3.8 years has recently been diagnosed with mild HFA. Apart from being angry that I suspected something was wrong since he was around 18 months and nobody guided me to push for a specialist doctor referrel (I understand that a diagnosis can be made as early as 2 years), I am feeling quite overwhelmed. I am doing a lot of research since then but still don't know where to start.

I am in Australia, he goes to 3 year old kinder twice a week and attends Early Intervention once a week for social skills and language. (We enroled him a few months back, before we got diagnosed). He recently started getting speech therapy as well (every fornight). All of this is not doing much for him. I need advice on what sort of therapies I should look into for him. I feel we already have lost precious time so I do not want to waste anymore. Do you think he should get ABA?

My son has a huge vocabulary and with therapy he is starting to combine words, he is also picking up useful sentences to communicate his needs so that's wonderful. What is not so great is that he is not able to sit down for an activity for long, outside he is constantly running from one thing to another (impossible at restaurants, doctors, social gatherings etc). His tantrums are increasing both in frequency and intensity (especially since we had a baby two months back). He doesn't have any obcessive behaviours, he does need tons of help in acquiring social skills for eg not hoard all the toys outside the home for starters and be able to to just 'share' and even play alongside nicely. Do you think ABA would be useful therapy in acheiving that? As it is so expensive, can I get say 2 hours a day and not recommended 5? I just want him to get some serious help with social behaviours.

I am feeling so lost. As we haven't received the formal diagnosis yet, I do not know who to turn to and we have a 3 month wait to see the psychologist and then she will probably advise on management. I would really appreciate any advice I can get.

Thanks
Mary NT Mum to Dan 3.8 HFA

Mary,

I saw your post and had to respond as you sound like me some 15 years ago.  The goal was to help my child, but I inadvertently settled in to a "fix it" mentality that translated to him as "I am bad". Whatever you pursue as treatment, practice it lovingly.  This may sound obvious, but it is not so easily maintained. Many of the treatments, especially ABA, have the potential of translating/becoming in practice  an exercise in control rather than communication. My son would tell you that developing your son's "personhood" should be your primariy goal at all times.  You will fiind it can, at times, conflict mightily with your sense of immediate need to "teach a functional skill" .

ABA is of great benefit to some, detrimental to others.  It depends on the child and the nature of their autism.  Whether it benefits  largely depends on whether the indivdual's underlying systems are sufficiently developed to support it. (both senses and emotions)  This is something no one tells you. Since you say your son is mild, I'm guessing his systems are sufficiently developed to support it, but then also keep in mind you are teaching a child the process of how to learn and I have also seen  a few children get stuck with it, being able to effectively learn then only in that format.  

Is your son highly visual?  If so you may want to take a look at TEEACH as a system.  Higher functioning, you may want to look in to Greenspan and play therapy.

TEEACH is especially valuable to the visual learner, but can be adapted to other styles of learning as well once you know what you are doing. They system is excellent for those who have difficulty following through with things/ staying on task. It focuses on emergent skills rather than deficits and the system and methods can be embedded into outside environments if necessary over time. Like Lovaas, they also have a handbook of various sample programs you can try as well as written explanations.  Even if you did not use it as a teaching method, it is an excellent assessment tool. We took formal training in it.  

In the end, effective teaching is all the same.  It is breaking the skill down into bite size pieces YOUR child can understand.  Taking the time to come to an understanding of how your child actually processes and learns information will be far more productive for you than simply swallowing someone else's made for all version.

I would seek also out a good Sensory integrative OT to see whether your son has some sensory issues that might be easily addressed. Someone with tactile sensory defensiveness might have great difficulty playing along side another child. A hyposensitive child would be sensory seeking which might explain some hyperactivity. There is a good book written with hypothetical examples of behavior and what they mean which might help you recognize some issues title is  "The Out of Sync Child". I offer this because if present and recognized, this is something that can be readily addressed and which can have far reaching benefits... and because it is not something others will likely tell you.

If you want to meet in a private chat sometime in chat room you are welcome to PM me.  

Autism opens up a world of experiences to you.  You will grow with you child.  I have come to believe God offers it so that we can become a better version of ourselves. Your life will never be boring.

Hope this helps a bit.


Anonanont aka Mom of Hrick

Tantrums related to baby's cry??

Hello,

Thankyou so much for your lovely post, it is very thought provoking and as I said, I am in desperate need of some advice so that I can get my son started on 'something'.

I will explain a bit about my son so that you can give me some advice, you sound so well informed and wise as well

My son's biggest deficit would be his lack of ability to sit down and not move (attention problems?). He cannot sit and wait in a doctor's office, cannot wait while everybody is getting out of the car, starts screaming if he is asked to wait for 30 sec when he wants something.
When he was younger we actually thought he might be ADHD (autism never crossed our minds) but with time he is less active so I don't think its that. He loves to read books with me and can sit for upto an hour to read. (he is also hyperlexic and at 3.8 can read a few hundred words and we never taught him any of that, read and count numbers upto 100 etc). Taking him say to a furniture shop is a disaster, he keeps running wild and sitting on every sofa, bed, chair that catches his fancy. This means he cannot sit at a task to follow through, he keeps running from one activit to another at his kindergarten but is getting better at following routines. I need to do research on sensory issues as he might very well be getting sensory overlaod outside the house.

He is very much a visual learner, has fantastic memory, is hyperlexic, making huge gains in language with therapy but still far behind (I would say about 2.5 year old level), can follow simple commands, can do self care with a bit of help but not yet toilet trained (getting there).

He does not understand any abstract age appropriate concepts, he does not know if he pushes to hard, it might hurt the other person, he doesnt have a concept of clean or dirty, he becomes extremely upset if I cry in front of him, he used to cover his ears in social settings but has long stopped doing that, he cried when other children cried but has desensitized so he just insists me that I attend to the baby immidiately when he cries and wont give up until I do so.

My dev ped was of the opinion that he doesnt need anything other than speech therapy, but the psychologist has yet to see him and she will then suggest a plan of action, but thats in about 4 months time so I want to atleast get the ball rolling.

Can I ask for your advice? Is ABA more appropriate for him than other therapies? I thought TEACH was for older more verbal kids. I do not know much about Greenspan or play therapy. I asked about ABA because thats the most widely known one. I was thinking it is a good thing for my child, I can do it for a year and then switch to TEEACH. Can this happen? I would really love to hear from you again, thanks.

Warm regards,
Mary


I saw your post and had to respond as you sound like me some 15 years ago.  The goal was to help my child, but I inadvertently settled in to a "fix it" mentality that translated to him as "I am bad". Whatever you pursue as treatment, practice it lovingly.  This may sound obvious, but it is not so easily maintained. Many of the treatments, especially ABA, have the potential of translating/becoming in practice  an exercise in control rather than communication. My son would tell you that developing your son's "personhood" should be your primariy goal at all times.  You will fiind it can, at times, conflict mightily with your sense of immediate need to "teach a functional skill" .

ABA is of great benefit to some, detrimental to others.  It depends on the child and the nature of their autism.  Whether it benefits  largely depends on whether the indivdual's underlying systems are sufficiently developed to support it. (both senses and emotions)  This is something no one tells you. Since you say your son is mild, I'm guessing his systems are sufficiently developed to support it, but then also keep in mind you are teaching a child the process of how to learn and I have also seen  a few children get stuck with it, being able to effectively learn then only in that format.  

Is your son highly visual?  If so you may want to take a look at TEEACH as a system.  Higher functioning, you may want to look in to Greenspan and play therapy.

TEEACH is especially valuable to the visual learner, but can be adapted to other styles of learning as well once you know what you are doing. They system is excellent for those who have difficulty following through with things/ staying on task. It focuses on emergent skills rather than deficits and the system and methods can be embedded into outside environments if necessary over time. Like Lovaas, they also have a handbook of various sample programs you can try as well as written explanations.  Even if you did not use it as a teaching method, it is an excellent assessment tool. We took formal training in it.  

In the end, effective teaching is all the same.  It is breaking the skill down into bite size pieces YOUR child can understand.  Taking the time to come to an understanding of how your child actually processes and learns information will be far more productive for you than simply swallowing someone else's made for all version.

I would seek also out a good Sensory integrative OT to see whether your son has some sensory issues that might be easily addressed. Someone with tactile sensory defensiveness might have great difficulty playing along side another child. A hyposensitive child would be sensory seeking which might explain some hyperactivity. There is a good book written with hypothetical examples of behavior and what they mean which might help you recognize some issues title is  "The Out of Sync Child". I offer this because if present and recognized, this is something that can be readily addressed and which can have far reaching benefits... and because it is not something others will likely tell you.

If you want to meet in a private chat sometime in chat room you are welcome to PM me.  

Autism opens up a world of experiences to you.  You will grow with you child.  I have come to believe God offers it so that we can become a better version of ourselves. Your life will never be boring.

Hope this helps a bit.


Anonanont aka Mom of Hrick

Tantrums related to baby's cry??
[/quote]

Well I'm not parent. But this sounds a bit like me when I was 3. Little miss Impulsive. I was ball of energy, I could never sit still and if I wanted something I will try and get it. My parents didn't discovered that I had ADHD until I was four and Aspergers? Ha when I was 18. Til this day, I never really mastered my impulsive behaviors or my lack of attention. If I have been diagnosised early                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     maybe I would have that changed, hmmm, kinda scares me if you think about it. It's who I am. It's who your son is aswell. It maybe tough now, trust me. I have been in some stupid situations thanks to my hair-trigger mind. But the lack of attention will benifical in the future. Because without it I wouldn't be able to multi-task for hours. :3 Find away to use his "Flaws" into "gifts"

The Bard Wolf

I would love to get in on this discussion but it's all formatting wrong on my screen.
Is that true for anyone else?
Scrolling to the right endlessly is really an exhausting way to read.

Hi DW,
I do not think my son has ADHD, he is not bouncing off the walls at home. I think it has more to do with his sensory dysfunction, I am currently trying to arrange for an assessment from an OT who specialises in sensory integration so it can be confirmed. (Hyposensitive to movement and touch and some tactile issues as well).

Secondly I do not know if he is able to benefit from his lack of attention of impulsive behaviours in the future (can you tell me how it has benefited you?), but for now it does not help my son learn as he cannot 'remaster his behaviours'. As soon as he out of the house, in an another indoor situation, he just has to explore, explore , explore, he is such a busybody. He is not sitting at preschool and doing tasks asked of him which he CAN do, not able to take turns, not able to play with other children and generally means being disruptive. I might know about the future but for now I would like very much to help him able to sit and pay attention. I know he will do better, perceived better by others who doesn't know about his dx anyway and would surely be thankful later on.

Thank you for your response. Would love to hear more about it.

Mary

RE: New member needing advice
Quote:
My son's biggest deficit would be his lack of ability to sit down and not move (attention problems?). He cannot sit and wait in a doctor's office, cannot wait while everybody is getting out of the car, starts screaming if he is asked to wait for 30 sec when he wants something.
When he was younger we actually thought he might be ADHD (autism never crossed our minds) but with time he is less active so I don't think its that. He loves to read books with me and can sit for upto an hour to read. (he is also hyperlexic and at 3.8 can read a few hundred words and we never taught him any of that, read and count numbers upto 100 etc). Taking him say to a furniture shop is a disaster, he keeps running wild and sitting on every sofa, bed, chair that catches his fancy. This means he cannot sit at a task to follow through, he keeps running from one activit to another at his kindergarten but is getting better at following routines. I need to do research on sensory issues as he might very well be getting sensory overlaod outside the house.

Well I'm not parent. But this sounds a bit like me when I was 3. Little miss Impulsive. I was ball of energy, I could never sit still and if I wanted something I will try and get it. My parents didn't discovered that I had ADHD until I was four and Aspergers? Ha when I was 18. Til this day, I never really mastered my impulsive behaviors or my lack of attention. If I have been diagnosised early maybe I would have that changed, hmmm, kinda scares me if you think about it. It's who I am. It's who your son is aswell. It maybe tough now, trust me. I have been in some stupid situations thanks to my hair-trigger mind. But the lack of attention will benifical in the future. Because without it I wouldn't be able to multi-task for hours. :3 Find away to use his "Flaws" into "gifts"

The Bard Wolf              

heyy, can someone please fix this so this is readable????