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Could it be said , "We , as a society, have raised our children to be perpetual victims, hence the rise of Bullyism that we are hearing today?

Are there more bullies or are there more victims.

The synergy between the two should be evaluated.

Davy Crockett was bullied at school, hence he ran away from home, because his father expected him to take it...

Recently the elderly have been brutally assalted by druggies...  a recent case involved the beatings of two 90+ yr old man and woman on two separate occasions and cities... in the case of the man, there were bystanders who did nothing to his aid.. Both elderly suffered broken cheek bones and jaw... The authorities decided to also indict the bystanders for not aiding the victims due to their age...

No longer are perpetual victim mentalities are getting away with doing nothing. Passively "taking it" or allowing others to "Take it".

Question: would you intercede in protecting someone much smaller who was being beaten or about to be beaten by someone who was more powerful?

http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/safety/tra...g_pg9.html

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LEAD & MANAGE MY SCHOOL
Exploring the Nature and Prevention of Bullying

Day 2 -- Bullies, Victims, and Bystanders

Bullying incidents tend to involve three different groups of students: bullies, victims, and bystanders. While the young people within each of these groups share many similarities, each group can be further divided into subgroups of students with different personalities, motivations, and behaviors. It is important to understand the nature and range of the young people who fall into each of these three groups in order to effectively plan and deliver bullying prevention activities.

Bullies
"He gave me that look, you know? Like, 'Hey, who do you think you are?' I thought this kid needs to find out right now who's in charge around here."
In a 1978 study, Olweus described three different types of bully: the aggressive bully, the passive bully, and the bully-victim. These characterizations still hold true today.

Aggressive bullies are the most common type of bully. Young people who fall into this category tend to be physically strong, impulsive, hot-tempered, belligerent, fearless, coercive, confident, and lacking in empathy for their victims. They have an aggressive personality and are motivated by power and the desire to dominate others. They are also likely to make negative attributions, often seeing slights or hostility in those around them where neither actually exists. According to Olweus, the aggressive bully tends to be most popular in the early school years and then less so in the upper grades — perhaps because young children are more likely than older students to admire the macho image. As students get older, they become better able to think critically about peers and "leaders."
Surprisingly Skilled
In contrast to the popular notion that bullies lack social skills, research has shown that bullies are actually quite adept at reading social cues and perspective-taking. Rather than using these skills prosocially, such as to empathize with others, they instead use them to identify and prey on peer vulnerabilities.



"All data point in the same direction … that bullies have no problem with self-esteem."

– Dan Olweus, 2002 OSDFS National
Technical Assistance Meeting


Passive bullies, unlike the ultra-confident aggressive bullies, tend to be insecure. They are also much less popular than the aggressive bullies and often have low-self esteem, few likable qualities, and unhappy home lives. Passive bullies also appear to have difficulties concentrating and focusing their attention at school, as well as violent outbursts or temper tantrums that lead to problems with their peers. Rather than initiating a bullying interaction, passive bullies tend to hang back until one is already under way — usually at the instigation of an aggressive bully. Once a bullying incident begins, passive bullies become enthusiastic participants. In fact, passive bullies are very quick to align themselves with and display intense loyalty to the more powerful aggressive bullies. Some researchers refer to this group as anxious bullies.

Bully-victims represent a small percentage of bullies who have been seriously bullied themselves. Bully-victims are often physically weaker than those who bully them but are almost always physically stronger than their own victims. They possess some of the same characteristics as provocative victims (described below); they are easily aroused and sometimes provoke others who are clearly weaker than they are. Bully-victims are generally unpopular with their peers, and they are more likely than other types of bullies to be both anxious and depressed.

Dieter Wolke, of the University of Hertfordshire, England, identified a fourth group of bullies: pure bullies. "It appears that pure bullies are healthy individuals, who enjoy school and use bullying to obtain dominance," says Wolke, who labels these children "cool operators." Pure bullies have not been victimized themselves, and they are rarely absent from school — presumably because they enjoy victimizing their peers.

Click here for a list of significant identifying characteristics of bullies as rated by experts.  Click here to review some of the short- and long-term consequences for bullies

Victims
"I'm 14 in March and I'm being bullied constantly. In nearly every class, I sit by myself because nobody wants to sit next to me. One of my few friends hangs around with other people because I think he is frightened if he is with me he will get bullied. I'm sick to death and sometimes I feel like killing myself. I wish I was dead."
Bullies do not randomly attack their peers; instead, they target a specific subgroup of students who are often victimized over the course of several years. Just like bullies, victims are a heterogeneous group. Olweus describes three types of victim: the passive victim, the provocative victim, and bully-victim (described above).

Passive victims do not directly provoke bullies and represent the largest group of victimized children. They are socially withdrawn, often seem anxious, depressed, and fearful, and have very poor self-concepts. When compared with their non-victimized peers, passive victims have fewer if any friends, are lonely and sad, and are more nervous about new situations. This cluster of symptoms makes them attractive targets for bullies who are unusually competent in detecting vulnerability. In the early grades, initial responses to bullying among passive victims include crying, withdrawal, and futile anger. In later grades, they tend to respond by trying to avoid and escape from bullying situations (e.g., being absent from school, running away from home).

While there is evidence that some of the characteristics of passive victims precede and contribute to their victimization experiences, it is also clear that many of their personal attributes also result from being bullied. According to Swearer and colleagues (2001): "The victims' behaviors and emotional states may make them vulnerable to bullying. The bullying behavior towards them may perpetuate their issues with low-self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and loneliness, which may make them increasingly vulnerable to bullying."

Click here for some possible signs of victimization.  

Other researchers have described some subgroups that may be present within the broad category of passive victims:

Vicarious victims, or surrogate victims, either witness or hear about bullying incidents at school. They are victims of the school's climate of fear and worry about their own potential to become targets of bullying. As a result of this perceived vulnerability as well as concern about direct retribution from bullies, they choose not to help bullying victims or report bullying incidents even though they often feel sympathetic — which often leads to feelings of guilt (Besag, 1989).

False victims represent a small group of students who complain frequently and without justification to their teachers about being bullied by their classmates. This behavior seems to be a bid for attention and sympathy from the teacher. This is problematic for two main reasons: 1) these children should learn that there are legitimate ways to get attention, and 2) teachers who may be unsympathetic about the problem of bullying could use this behavior as an excuse to ignore all complaints about bullying (Besag, 1989).

Perpetual victims are those victims who are bullied all of their lives. While "perpetual" refers to the duration of bullying rather than a subgroup of victim, it is interesting to consider the possibility that some children may develop a victim mentality whereby the victim role becomes a permanent part of their psyches (Elliott, 1993).

Provocative victims represent a small group of children who often behave in ways that arouse negative responses from those around them, such as anger, irritation, and exasperation. They possess a cluster of characteristics that are likely to disrupt a classroom and lead to social rejection by peers, including irritability, restlessness, off-task behavior, and hostility. Although they are a distinct subgroup, provocative victims often display characteristics of other groups of children as well — including pure bullies (i.e., they have elevated levels of dominant, aggressive, and antisocial behavior and low levels of tolerance for frustration) and passive victims (i.e., they are socially anxious, feel disliked by others, and have low self-esteem).
Nathan, aged 10, was described by his class teacher as a child who lived "on the edge of his nerves," never still, and with "his brain disconnected from his mouth." The latter trait made it likely that he would make loud remarks about other children's appearance or their work that would make them angry. He would then say to them, "What are you going to do about it then?" whereupon two or three of them might show him, violently. Nathan was described as the most unpopular child in the school, as the one "everybody loves to hate" (Randall, 1997, p. 94).

It is important to keep in mind that students who fall into this category may possess a disability of some sort (e.g., a learning disability, attention deficit disorder) that contributes to their provocative behavior. In addition to helping these young people deal with the consequences of their victimization, it would also be helpful to assess the potential causes of their challenging behavior. If a disability is present, then an accurate diagnosis followed by targeted services could go a long way toward preventing further victimization.

Click here for a list of significant identifying characteristics for victims as rated by experts.  Click here to review some of the short- and long-term consequences for victims.

Multiple factors contribute to a bully's selection of victim, including the complicated interplay of a bully's motivation, a victim's characteristics, and the specific circumstances of the bullying situation. For example, availability may be a key factor in victim selection if a bully simply wants to elevate his or her status with peers. However, if a bully is looking for some sort of tangible payoff, then he or she might choose a target who is known to have money and likely to be submissive. If a bully wants to display power, then he or she might target a provocative victim who is noted for fighting back ineffectively.



Bystanders
"I don't like it that he is bullied, but I can't do anything about it or they will turn on me, too."



While far too many students report that they are bullies, victims, or both, the vast majority of young people are neither bullies nor victims. Instead, most students fall into the category of bystander. This group includes everyone — other than the bully and victim — who is present during a bullying incident. According to John A. Calhoun, president and CEO of the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), 6 out of 10 American teenagers witness bullying in school one or more times each day. In addition to the terrible problems that bullying creates for those who are directly involved, student bystanders to bullying also experience feelings of fear, discomfort, guilt, and helplessness. According to the U.S. Department of Education, bystanders may experience the following:

Be afraid to associate with the victim for fear of either lowering their own status or of retribution from the bully and becoming victims themselves

Fear reporting bullying incidents because they do not want to be called a "snitch," a "tattler," or "informer"

Experience feelings of guilt and helplessness for not standing up to the bully on behalf of their classmate

Be drawn into bullying behavior by group pressure

Feel unsafe, unable to take action, or a loss of control

It is clear that bystanders display distinct patterns of behavior during a bullying incident; these responses represent students' attitudes toward the problem of bullying (e.g., positive, neutral-indifferent, negative) as well as the actions they are likely to take during an actual incident. The Bullying Circle below, based on Olweus' early research as well as the research of Salmivalli and colleagues, illustrate and describe each of these bystander roles.

"Bullying poisons the educational environment and affects the learning of every child."

- Dan Olweus





Click here to download a color version of this chart, as well as an accompanying chart that illustrates how the cycle of bullying can be broken by moving bystanders from the left to the right side.

From Goldy C. Breaking the Cycle of Bullying. North Center Educational Service District Safe and Civil Schools Department.


In addition to describing the various roles that students can play in a bullying situation, the Bullying Circle further depicts the importance of moving young people to the right — specifically away from the bullies and their supporters and toward defenders of victims. In a study by Boulton and Underwood (1992), middle school students responded to the question, "What do you do when you see a child of your age being bullied?" in the following manner:

49 percent said they tried to help in some way.

29 percent said they did nothing, but thought that they should try to help

22 percent said they would not help because it was none of their business.

A full third of the young people in this study indicated that they could see why bullying happened, which seems to suggest that they — at some level — accept and/or condone bullying behavior among their peers. And, in another study by Whitney and Smith (1993), 18 percent of the participating middle and high school students said that they would join in if their friends were bullying someone. While most attempts to reduce youth violence have focused on the perpetrator or the relationship between perpetrators and victims, it is increasingly recognized that such interventions do not go far enough in creating safe schools and communities. It is also critical to consider the role of bystanders, whose influence in perpetuating or escalating violence has often been overlooked.

"If we don't involve bystanders, we can't solve the problem. The most dangerous place in a school is the restroom because of isolation. Well, you also can have isolation in the middle of a cafeteria if a bully convinces everybody else not to intervene. If we can show bystanders how to become involved as bystanders, we reduce isolation (Caldwell, Autumn/Winter 1997)."

- Richard Hazler, professor of counselor
education, Ohio University


Bystanders clearly have a range of choices when it comes to bullying. They can passively accept it, overtly encourage it, or denounce a bully's actions and provide support to the victims. In fact, it is clear that many students who possess characteristics typical of victims are protected against bullying because of such social factors as peer acceptance and supportive friends.



Click here for some examples of how bystanders have either missed opportunities to prevent violence or have actually succeeded in averting tragedies at school.  

Looking Ahead
Now that we have looked at the three primary roles that students can play during a bullying incident, as well as the different subgroups within each role, we will go on tomorrow to explore some of the effective strategies that schools can use to prevent bullying among students. We will look at media campaigns, anti-bullying policies and legislation, as well as effective — and ineffective — bullying prevention programs.

>
Discussion Area.
http://www.ed.gov/admins/lead/safety/tra...g_pg9.html
Have you noticed different types of bullies and victims among students at your school? Please explain.





How do other students, or bystanders, tend to respond to bullying incidents at your school?







Have you ever seen bystanders encourage a bully?





Have you ever seen bystanders stand up for a victim or otherwise improve a bullying situation?
Woah! Molestation is a hard one.. So sorry! I constantly warn parents who are too complacent in the security of the fact their child is a boy.. Boys are molested as are girl ,but not in the same % numbers.. I  think one out of 10 boys are molested and one out of 5 girls are molested in our society... to me those numbers are way too high.

In my neighborhood..I played with a girl who was a bit shy and a follower... she was an odd bird and I chalked it up that she had no Chutspah... I heard later she became preggers by her step brother... at our last reunion, the hood kids told me almost every boy in the neighborhood slept with her and her brother would get mad because he felt she was his... What a family!   We noticed she wa s overly trusting and almost was snatched on Halloween..and we warned her NOT to go to cars..

I thought how stupid is she...   The boys (now men) told me that she would just take off her clothes and sleep with anyone who asked her.. most the boys had their first sexual experience with her..

This sort of thing is so sad.. I can't imagine living like that... I did not even know about sex till I was 13.



GuessWho Wrote:
I'll never forget Waldorf, Maryland (and to a smaller extent, school in La Plata, as the Emotional Adjustment program was administered in schools in the county seat of Charles County, La Plata, hit by a tornado some years ago).

School violence would have been bad enough, but myself and a classmate were molested in separate incidents by neighbors older boys.

I told a counselor later, who regretted I had not told him within seven years.  Statute of limitations.

Is there a backstory on Freddie Krueger?  Wonder if he was picked on in school, molested.  Certainly if Freddie was trying to get back at his classmates, he picked their most vulnerable point.  

With apology to the people of Waldorf, I have wondered, occasionally, if the best use for my neighborhood would have been an aboveground nuclear test range.

In all honesty, I accept my former high school classmates only on a case-by-case basis, not blanketly as I might for grad school.  It was a little hard to tell friend from foe, and it did hurt my friendships while in school.  I think I realized that the smart kids were OK.  They, like me, were simply trying to bust their butts to make it into college (I was trying to get into Shepherd College, now a university, and I did, and graduated)

I bought Jodee Blanco's Please Stop Laughing At Me and started reading it.  I loved the dance scene close to the end, when Jodee's date came to her defense, and asked Jodee's tormentor if she was a hooker (dressed close to it) and if he could call her for a friend's bachelor party.

GuessWho Wrote:
...........  I think I realized that the smart kids were OK.  They, like me, were simply trying to bust their butts to make it into college (I was trying to get into Shepherd College, now a university, and I did, and graduated)

.....


I hear ya.. yes we honors kids were accepting... the first Black students in our HS were honor students because they knew we were accepting....  I went to HS with the first desegregation programs.  My sister went to the same high school 4 yrs earlier and it was all white... I like it better with desegregation.

One good thing about letting the hoods and bullies know early on , that one is not to be messed with....

I stop involving myself with scraps at the age of 9. Kids shoudl grow out of it... also I was very studious and was on the athletic teams and involved in theater.. so no TIME! to be involved with the neighborhood...


Consequently, I was not around and my past reputation at the ripe old age of 7 and 8, of holding my own... grew in the bullies minds as we all grew older.. I was not around for them to really see they got bigger than me....They would only remember, this girl fights back and WINS! and that was enough for them to go quickly by my home in a hurry not looking <G>


IN my spare time , I loved climbing trees.... so they would often see me up in a tree watching them... and they quickly turned their heads and walked past my yard !

At my last reunion.. one of the wild kids as I called them asked their brother ....the biggest bully in the neighborhood ..if he remembered me His brother replied.. "DO YOU MEAN "Y"?  "OMG yes... She had the toughest reputation in the neighhood !"

The last time I encountered his brother.. we just moved to our new house and this boy comes into our yard and hits me in the stomach and tries to hit me again.  I grab his arm turn it to his back, push him to the ground and rubbed his face in the dirt and told him not to come back until he learned some manners...LOL  We were both 7 yrs old... He far outgrew me, but in his peanut brain, I was still the tough 7 yr old who whopped him!

It helps to be away studying... their own minds workagainst them..

I told my daughter to tel her kids... Hold your own at 6 -8 and then never be around.... its called psychological warfare!

We all laughed about it at the reunion... Those guys grew to be big major big guys... but trembled when she saw me in the trees... they avoided me like the plague and every knew bully who came in the hood, learned my reputation , I did not know I had till I was 56yrs old... LOL

Amazing what one can do at 7 yrs old!..

I learned something knew about psychological warfare for my grandkids to learn <G>

E Harmony and dating services.. BLECH! IMHO.. however my nephew met his now 2nd wife on there and it seems to be working.. so who am I to blow against the wind...

I never went looking for "meat".

As for discrimination.. Go to the end of the line or cue! Most of us have been there done that to this day.

As for initiating conversations iwth women.. "Get a tiny cutesy fluff fluff dog" The women will swarm you unmercifully... esp if the dog is old...  Go tothe SPCA and get an OLD dog that fit the description.... they are usually house broken, you will have them a few short years becuase of their age... they deserve love, and last but not least.. WOMEN will SWARM you unmercifully!"

Yawn to the rest.... and don't thank me after you get the dog and the girl.[/color]

GuessWho Wrote:
I'm sure the man who prayed to God to be delivered from the flood was thinking like a victim.  
1.  He didn't evacuate when the radio told him the hurricane was coming or the dam was ready to blow
2.  He passed up the boat
3.  He passed up the plane
4.  And so on

I think perhaps God's answer to a suitable mate (for me, I mean) is the specific dating service E-Harmony, and perhaps seeing if God would work outside those channels was a mistake.

Something else about successful people.  We know that getting revenge is not a rational option.

A. Probably what kept me from going Columbine at Thomas Stone High School was
1.  As soon as Dad retired from Federal employment, and we sold the primary residence, we would permanently relocate to the vacation property Dad picked, before I was born, for that ultimate objective.
2.  And then I would go to Shepherd College.
3.  Friends and teachers on my side.  One of my tormentors insulted me in Spanish class and I hit him. GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAVO! ABOUT TIME [color=black] The instructor took my side right away so he did absolutely nothing.  She later called me a scholar and a gentleman.  I never saw what's-his-name again after that school year, maybe he dropped out.

B. And I have been angry in later years at
1.  The frequent occupational discrimination between 1996 and 1998, when repeated interviews in the specific field of applied social research failed.  The most rational theory was summed up in the blog <http://hatingautism.blogspot.com/2007/06/neurodiversity-sells-out-one-of-its-own.html>

anonymous Wrote:
At Tue Jun 05, 06:20:00 PM PDT, Anonymous said...

There is no evidence that anyone with Asperger's invented anything. Why everything technological is assumed to have been invented by an autistic is beyond me. Show me the evidence. Many Aspies are very intelligent, but then so are just as many NTs and NTs have the ability to finish tasks, to be personable and to get along in groups. I know who I'd hire given the choice. (emphasis mine)


2.  Of late, with respect to dating, I have alternated between
   a. poor self-esteem from the logical fallacy of
        (1) I am diagnosed with Asperger
        (2) Adult female strangers do not commonly initiate communication with me
        (3) ergo, the Asperger means I am unworthy of their attention

        it is much harder on my own time, but it can even be hard at work, though I have noticed why, thanks to wikipedia.org.  
       (1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/falling_upward: Falling upward is romantic attraction based on the superior qualities of the other person.  We have an entire conference planning group.  As a sociologist I suggest that attractive, sociable, intelligent, and usually female staff in front-line human-to-human contact is no accident.  I feel a heck of a lot better at Gold's Gym when a female counter clerk/attendant seems to notice me.
       (2) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/nerd: this was based on the article as of March 2007.  
            (a) popular culture frequently depicts nerds as "lovelorn" and seeking women "above their status"
            (b) moreover, the culture depicts such behavior and a negative reaction from the woman and/or others present as comic relief (emphasis mine)

       Look here, I work in a very progressive office environment.  We probably don't believe in such things.  In any case, we say nothing, and keep feelings out of business, as we should, as even positive feelings have no place at work.  
       But I am suggesting that the Men of Honor reasoning holds true here, too
  
     Leslie W. 'Billy' Sunday (aka God, played by Robert De Niro): " Why you work so hard, boy?"

    Carl Brashear (played by Cuba Gooding, Jr.): "Because they tell me I can't have it."

C.  But there is limited recourse or none at all
     1.  Employment discrimination: EEOC can only punish cases of occupational prejudice that can be demonstrated.
     2.  Romantic discrimination: You're screwed, my friend.  You have no recourse, not of law, or of God.  Even Almighty Yahweh the Father, Jesus the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit have no power over one person with free will saying "no".  Because God built free will into people (to answer spiritual skeptics who would say God made them love Him, or because they feared God would ______ ).  You only have the cold comfort of knowing that free will is a coin with two sides:

          (a) the freedom to discriminate or be prejudiced, even when you are wrong, or
          (b) to make a correct decision with no bias

and knowing that people are in one camp or the other.

GuessWho Wrote:
The perps probably thought if we were too trusting of their intentions, which they knew to be wrong, it made what they did OK.


Get over it.. Move on!

GuessWho Wrote:
Well, I have an orange-white domestic shorthair cat, age 5. Perhaps I should walk her, because women at the vet seem to like my cat, too.


HINT! AGAIN!  Get an old fluffy dog.. many dogs and cats learn to get along... I am TRYING To help you have women approach you and talk to you... What do I need a 2x4?  Get the picture.. Women LOVE fluffy dogs either puppies or OLD ones.. it means "YOU care" "you have a gentile understanding nature"..

As an aspie who knows NT's.."Me thinks you think too much".  Get the dog and stop the lectures.. talk about Fluffy!

GuessWho Wrote:
I think I left out that the alternate of

a. feeling like I deserve to be as single as a helium atom because I have Asperger
is
b. angry that
    1.  I know I have intelligence, personality, character and morality, some background research on relationships, what I think is genuine motivation to be the other half of the right woman (distinct from poor self esteem from being single or anger at discrimination, and knowing that it is natural to be angry when discriminated against), and at minimum I have good intentions and feelings
    but
    2. I also know that
        (a) single women attract the attention of many guys with a variety of verbal and non-verbal methods, some more overt than others, but
        (b) I do not draw that kind of attention.
            Right now the best suggestions I can give as to why are
           (1) Weight/physical appearance
           (2) The difficulty people with Asperger have recognizing and responding to certain nonverbal signals the women send (http://www.wrongplanet.net/article297.html)  
           (3) Given that Christians regard endogamy as a matter of wisdom (exogamy is not a crime or sin, just really discouraged by St. Paul and presumably by Jesus who sent him), that Christian women are generally passionate about Jesus and seek men, perhaps saved since childhood as well, that are equally so, but having been saved after college graduation, the best I can offer is simple gratitude.  

Like Norman Schwartzkopf was the leader of Good fighting the leader of Evil, Saddam Hussein, Jesus is after Satan in a spiritual war.  Jesus neither wants to harm the humans who are not the problem, nor did Schwartzkopf want to harm the Iraqi draftees who were in fear of their own leaders and Saddam.  Both protect(ed) surrendering captives, fed them (Bread of His body or MREs), gave them water (the kind that you don't draw from a Samaritan well or Aquafina), protection (from Hell or Iraqis), and medical attention (for emotional and spiritual injury or treatment of enemy military causalties).

But it is not passion.  I have 144 CDs in a lifetime favorites library.  Only 19 are in the genre of Christian contemporary.  The remainder are heavy metal (Metallica, Anthrax, Guns N Roses), progressive or alternative (RUSH, REM), classical, older (Jethro Tull), or miscellaneous radio tunes from 1979 to 2003 (or maybe newer) from a variety of stations.

I do not hate non-Christian women, instead, I think they like me better than Christian women do, because they are closer to my level of interest in Jesus.  I seem to have attracted two minimally-Christian and two non-Christian women over the years, only my first girlfriend had enough passion (or bipolar mania) to sing in the name of Jesus.  

I did not take any pleasure ignoring Julie or snubbing Martha.  

I was as non-Christian as they were until the 1992 Presidential election.

Don't tell NT women this kind of stuff at the beginning.. its too much like a resume.. Let them feel you with their eyes and how you act with Fluffy... They are watching you...Don't bring up your mother at all. Be gentil and light hearted and talk about FLUFFY! Geez!

Theywant to see how you are around helpless animals and children... They don't want to HEAR you...  TALK about Fluffy...the dog....

Things like YOUR needs in a woman mean nothing to them at this point... that is like saying ME ME ME ME OH and did you want to hear about ME????  Talk about FLuffy and the Humane society or the SPCA... then talk about music and or art.... NOT YOUR MOTHER and NOT your cat, unless you tell her how FLUFFY and the cat get along sooo well.... If she onlylikes cats..say "I just had such a kind heart and could not see this OLD dog who only has a few years not have a happy life it deserves (which is true) but it lets a cat woman know the dog is only around for a few short years.. if she is a dog woman , you are her hero!

Are you listening???

I should charge for my services <G>

Yetti Wrote:
As an aspie who knows NT's.."Me thinks you think too much".  Get the dog and stop the lectures.. talk about Fluffy!

GuessWho Wrote:
I think I left out that the alternate of

a. feeling like I deserve to be as single as a helium atom because I have Asperger
is
b. angry that
    1.  I know I have intelligence, personality, character and morality, some background research on relationships, what I think is genuine motivation to be the other half of the right woman (distinct from poor self esteem from being single or anger at discrimination, and knowing that it is natural to be angry when discriminated against), and at minimum I have good intentions and feelings
    but
    2. I also know that
        (a) single women attract the attention of many guys with a variety of verbal and non-verbal methods, some more overt than others, but
        (b) I do not draw that kind of attention.
            Right now the best suggestions I can give as to why are
           (1) Weight/physical appearance
           (2) The difficulty people with Asperger have recognizing and responding to certain nonverbal signals the women send (http://www.wrongplanet.net/article297.html)  
           (3) Given that Christians regard endogamy as a matter of wisdom (exogamy is not a crime or sin, just really discouraged by St. Paul and presumably by Jesus who sent him), that Christian women are generally passionate about Jesus and seek men, perhaps saved since childhood as well, that are equally so, but having been saved after college graduation, the best I can offer is simple gratitude.  

Like Norman Schwartzkopf was the leader of Good fighting the leader of Evil, Saddam Hussein, Jesus is after Satan in a spiritual war.  Jesus neither wants to harm the humans who are not the problem, nor did Schwartzkopf want to harm the Iraqi draftees who were in fear of their own leaders and Saddam.  Both protect(ed) surrendering captives, fed them (Bread of His body or MREs), gave them water (the kind that you don't draw from a Samaritan well or Aquafina), protection (from Hell or Iraqis), and medical attention (for emotional and spiritual injury or treatment of enemy military causalties).

But it is not passion.  I have 144 CDs in a lifetime favorites library.  Only 19 are in the genre of Christian contemporary.  The remainder are heavy metal (Metallica, Anthrax, Guns N Roses), progressive or alternative (RUSH, REM), classical, older (Jethro Tull), or miscellaneous radio tunes from 1979 to 2003 (or maybe newer) from a variety of stations.

I do not hate non-Christian women, instead, I think they like me better than Christian women do, because they are closer to my level of interest in Jesus.  I seem to have attracted two minimally-Christian and two non-Christian women over the years, only my first girlfriend had enough passion (or bipolar mania) to sing in the name of Jesus.  

I did not take any pleasure ignoring Julie or snubbing Martha.  

I was as non-Christian as they were until the 1992 Presidential election.

In talking to the opposite sex..do not discuss
1. YOUR MOTHER! if you are male  YOUR Father if you are female
2. RELIGION.. they will see your faith in HOW you behave.. walk the talk.. STop the blathering!

3. Discuss things of the soul..
Art, Music, literature (no how to etc..), films, Fluffy! FLowers....

4. Be polite even if they are feminists.. Open that door, do the proper courtesies.

5. Always speak well of her mother. Women look to see how men treat their mothers and sisters... and Fluffy!

6. Learn to have humour.. Nerds who are humourous draw women to them like flies to honey! But no jokes about women!

7. Don't talk about body functions and if you are male and have to do your 10x a day farting excuse yourself or go to another room.

8. notice her perfume if she is wearing it... Compliment her hair if it is special.. but always be truthful in teh compliments otherwise ZIP IT!

9... if you hear your mouth saying I  I  I  ME ME ME  I I ME ME.. ZIP IT!

10 Ask her about HER interests... if if you are going to sleep... Learn to look in her eyes as if you see the more attractive person behind her head...

11. TAKE Dance lessons.. women love nerds over NT if they are dancers.. everyone can learn.. but you have to get you *ss to a dance teacher... it will help you will balance and how you walk.. Tango is good. . Samba... several others.. Tango is errotic.. women love men who will be brave enough to dance...

GuessWho Wrote:
Hey, Chloe, should I get us a dog?  Good thing I am walking distance from work, I can let the dog out.

"Who let the dog out?"


DUH! When you walk the dog is when the women see you with Fluffy.. .they will stop jogging.... women love cute little dogs.. do not get a Doberman, or a big dog.. get a cute OLD Fluffy!  with big eyes!  Give the dog a name like Bernice or Fred.... Fluffy is too effeminte for a man...

GuessWho Wrote:
Hey, Chloe, should I get us a dog?  Good thing I am walking distance from work, I can let the dog out.

"Who let the dog out?"


If you get a very old dog like 13 yrs old or older ,you may have to get a baby carriage ..old dogs cannot go for long walks if they are in poor health.. that is a plus for you... when women see you taking care of Poor Ole Fluffy so much you are willing to walk the old thing in a carriage with an occasional let out to do its business, their hearts melt!

My single NT neighbor does this... he has a 16 yr old fluffy dog.. walks her in a carriage.. the women are always stopping him to talk to Ole fluffy who is SOOO Loved by her male caretaker...

GuessWho Wrote:
Dancing is a good idea, but it could be a struggle for some of us with poor motor coordination.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rs8tdW9UN0
My coach use to say.. NO PAIN .. NO GAIN!   You got to start somewhere ....

Stick your tush out and pretend you are scrambling eggs! WOOOOOO! HOOO!


and as they say in the county of OZ.... Start at the beginning!   Practice Practice Practice.. "FOOT LOOSE"
:: Yetti dancing around the room!:::   Yes I do! Guess Who!! Wooo Hooo!

Loose! Foot Loose... Kick off your SUnday Shoes!   PLease Louise! Pull me off of my Knees!

Woo Hooo!
I been working so hard
Keep punching my card
Eight hours, for what?
Oh, tell me what I got
I get this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Tonight I gotta cut
(Chorus)
Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, burning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut
(Chorus)
Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
FIRST - we got to turn you around
SECOND - You put your feet on the ground
THIRD - Now take a hold of your soul
FOUR - Whooooooooa, I'm turning it
Loose, FOOTLOOSE

Yetti Wrote:

GuessWho Wrote:
Dancing is a good idea, but it could be a struggle for some of us with poor motor coordination.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rs8tdW9UN0
My coach use to say.. NO PAIN .. NO GAIN!   You got to start somewhere ....

Stick your tush out and pretend you are scrambling eggs! WOOOOOO! HOOO!


and as they say in the county of OZ.... Start at the beginning!   Practice Practice Practice.. "FOOT LOOSE"
:: Yetti dancing around the room!:::   Yes I do! Guess Who!! Wooo Hooo!

Loose! Foot Loose... Kick off your SUnday Shoes!   PLease Louise! Pull me off of my Knees!

Woo Hooo!
I been working so hard
Keep punching my card
Eight hours, for what?
Oh, tell me what I got
I get this feeling
That time's just holding me down
I'll hit the ceiling
Or else I'll tear up this town
Tonight I gotta cut
(Chorus)
Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Please, Louise
Pull me offa my knees
Jack, get back
C'mon before we crack
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
You're playing so cool
Obeying every rule
Dig way down in your heart
You're yearning, burning for some
Somebody to tell you
That life ain't passing you by
I'm trying to tell you
It will if you don't even try
You can fly if you'd only cut
(Chorus)
Loose, footloose
Kick off your Sunday shoes
Oowhee, Marie
Shake it, shake it for me
Whoa, Milo
C'mon, c'mon let go
Lose your blues
Everybody cut footloose
FIRST - we got to turn you around
SECOND - You put your feet on the ground
THIRD - Now take a hold of your soul
FOUR - Whooooooooa, I'm turning it
Loose, FOOTLOOSE


If Grandpa and Grandma could do it.. SO CAN Your Aspie *ss! Ya gotta get out of the computer chair, Jackson!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0uBH93O6TQ



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3WQ3RGSE...ed&search=

SOLIDE!
Even GREAT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y82S3z6sKiM

Get in the Groove Jackson!

Even OOMPA LOOMPAS DO IT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BBK3EDgnl0

Even IRanians DO IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Hl3nVlj...ed&search=



Even Bollywood Does it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ptjmuq115Pw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19R4gaOWqAk

Even Indian COWBOYS DO IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImoC-ib1J...ed&search=

Even DOGS DO IT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlyN0L4IMck


IF Even Jellyfish can  do it! THEN YOU CAN TOO  ...GUESS WHO!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYxJIJM5Um8

alectrum Wrote:
Thinking about the word Victim, when you read the newspapers they talk about a victim of theft, or victim of murder.  And implicit in the language is that the victim of whatever didn't bring it on themselves.

So... someone who thinks they're a victim of everything must take no responsibility for their lives or who they are...

Responsibility paralesis!  RP.  New soundbite.  lol.


Responsibility paralysis works for me!

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