Aspies For Freedom

I thought you might be interested to see this web page - actually four web pages if you include the three questions. What do you think of the advice?
http://www.worksmart.org.uk/career/fitting_in

fitting in at work

How important is fitting in at work?  more...
How can I make sure I fit in?  more...
Does fitting in have to mean conforming?  more...


further information

Working is only a part of being at work. The work pays the bills and is the reason you’re there, but the people you work with are a central feature of your working life, and can prove even more important in the long term, with friendships often lasting long after the jobs through which they were begun. Fitting in at work is a key step towards ensuring that your working life is productive and happy and that you make the most of the social potential your workplace provides.


How important is fitting in at work?

If only in terms of the actual work you do, fitting in at your workplace makes a big difference. A cohesive team, bound together not just by their presence in an office or factory but by shared interests and social experiences, makes for a much more effective unit than one where work is the only thing bringing them together. At the very least, the employer will need to recruit new staff a lot less often.

For an employee, a workplace where you fit in with your colleagues feels like a completely different place to one where you don't. Being a part of a group gives you more energy and enthusiasm and inspires creativity, as well as providing access to a ready-made social network with immense potential. If you don't fit in at your workplace, you're unlikely to be very happy or to stay there very long.


How can I make sure I fit in?

The first step to fitting in is to get a sense of the culture of your workplace. Every organisation has its own culture, which manifests itself in the dress code, the look and layout of the place, the level of formality and the way staff interact with each other. Getting a clear sense of the way things are done is an important step towards making sure you pitch your own behaviour in a way that will chime with your colleagues. If you show up every day in a suit when everyone else is wearing jeans, unless your work requires it, you'll be erecting a barrier between you and those around you.

Set yourself some basic rules about how you deal with your colleagues. Don't be critical of them or their work. If you have an issue with someone, approach them about it personally rather than airing your concerns with other people, and do so in a positive, constructive way rather than being confrontational. Asking for help with problems you have with your work is a good way of breaking the ice and indicating a level of respect for colleagues' opinions, which will help. Developing these kind of habits will create a good climate for fitting in.

Make the effort to go to social functions arranged through work. These allow you to meet your colleagues outside of the usual working environment, when they're more relaxed and the organisational hierarchies and work-related barriers are weaker, and you can let your personality come across more easily. If you're asked to join people after work or at lunchtime, accept, because that's a clear invitation for you to fit in. And, if nobody asks, it's often because everyone thinks it's someone else's responsibility, so don't be afraid to do the asking yourself. Just like you, most people like to know that others are interested in them.


Does fitting in have to mean conforming?

If you're conforming against your wishes then you're not fitting in. Fitting in means making your personality a part of your working environment, not allowing it to disappear under a culture of which you can't be a part. If the culture of your workplace doesn't appeal to you, then it's worth trying to develop alternatives. If, for example, your colleagues get legless in the pub every evening and that's not your thing, try suggesting alternatives - a sporting outing, perhaps, a musical gig or a movie. The odds are that you'll soon find like-minded people who'll welcome the chance to do something different. Of course, it is possible that, despite your efforts, the culture is simply one you could never fit into. But most workplaces contain a remarkable variety of people, and trying to make connections is nearly always well worth the effort.

"If you're conforming against your wishes then you're not fitting in. Fitting in means making your personality a part of your working environment, not allowing it to disappear under a culture of which you can't be a part."

Well how come I am often told at job interviews "sorry, you don't sound like you will 'fit in."  That is after someone talks to me for five minutes.  It is just prejudice against people with autism.

I think it would be better if more people sued poisonous workplaces but it is hard and very draining and if the bosses are able to cow their staff, they are going to do their utmost to bluff their way through court too.

It's one thing to expect staff to be courteous towards each other (a must for a workplace to run smoothly) but quite unreasonable to be nitpicking about tiny elements of dress and how much time they spend socialising (unless they mean "too much" and it is affecting the work output of particular people).

Yes, I think work time is work time and home time is home time. If a person enjoys going out with workmates outside of work that's fine but it shouldn't be made an obligation.

Ah, it's mostly just corporate weasel speak to go on and on about fitting in at work. Some cultures are toxic and should not be encouraged.

Yes Imajican, I agree totally with your last comments. I don't think we have any obligation to fit in at a workplace, apart from doing our fair share of the work and treating co-workers with fairness and courtesy.

I would like to socialise a bit more with my workmates outside of work but don't own a car and so would have to rely on somebody to give me a lift or spend up on taxi fares. Excess noise can be an issue but perhaps I could see if we could have some trivia nights.

I don't fit in.  I doubt I would fit in if I tried.  It is not my fault that people can not accept my differences.  I need to eat lunch by myself and spend some working hours in calm and silence.  I believe these should be accommodations that I can ask for.

Yes - it's hardly unreasonable that you'd like some personal space.

That cartoon is just brilliant! I like it!

Although I can't see the obnoxious questioner *agreeing* that he's a jerk!  Honestly though, some people just seem able to talk under wet cement!  Often I let them talk and make non-committal sounds of agreement or the odd "I know what you mean" here and there, while thinking about something else. It seems the easiest way to get up an NT's nose is to ignore them.  Good or bad, they seem to find any sort of acknowledgment of their existence better than us tuning them out.  Perhaps that's why so many of them get in our faces in such an aggessive way - trying to get a reaction to their existence.  How sad that they need other people's affirmation of that!  It's not something we Auties seem to need at all - I spend most of my time trying to avoid being noticed.
Alison

If you were reading "300", you could say it was about 300 people (strictly speaking though there are more than 300 in the whole book).

Found this in my firm's "induction checklist" for managers - thought it was worth quoting:

Bringing new staff into the team

Think about the culture of your team/area. Do you have a habit of all
having coffee at the same time? Do you have any clubs or traditions that
they can get involved in? Do you go out for lunch together sometimes? If
not, maybe you should. It may sound trivial but there is nothing worse
that coming into an established social circle, and a new person may find
it intimidating. If they seem willing, try to include them in social
activities as well as business ones.

I would also add: If you have any dealings with people in other teams, do make sure you introduce them to the new person - don't leave either party waiting to be introduced.

Luckly I don't have to try to fit in.  I work alone 75 percent of the time, which is ideal for me!!!  BUT, I don't see how it's a need to try to 'fit' in anywhere.  Just be yourself, and be tolerant of your coworkers, that's how I roll.  'Most' of my coworkers find me tolerable, so life at work isn't a nightmare, most of the time.  Now if we can just get rid of that b1tch that hates me for no reason, that would be perfect.

It's just been updated! Here are some snippets:

Important
There are no hard and fast rules to say how long induction should last.
Keep going until that person is fully established and be prepared to
answer lots of questions. Ask how they are feeling — it’s an unsettling
experience for most people. Review, agree and be flexible.


...

Part 1 — Before new entrant/job mover joins
...
Plan the first day they are at their desk in detail. Consider what sort
of impression you want to give of yourself, your team and the office.

...

Part 2 — Tasks for first day(s) / week
...
Ensure your new employee is given a warm welcome and introduce your new
person to the team and local area, and explain what they do.

Here's another piece from the Mindtools careers newsletter (the source of the self-motivation quiz posted earlier), which I quote here because the third section is all about the importance of camaraderie.  Aeolienne


Sirota Three-Factor Theory
Keeping Employees Enthusiastic

High enthusiasm at work usually means eagerness, and a willingness to work hard. So have you seen people begin new jobs with lots of enthusiasm, ready to start contributing… but then watched as they've steadily lost that motivation?

Unfortunately, this is common. And it can lead to serious problems for managers, as they struggle to motivate frustrated, indifferent, uncooperative, and unproductive team members. Close supervision, motivational speeches, reward programs, progressive discipline, and department transfers - these are all part of the manager's toolbox for dealing with this. However, these strategies are often not effective.

Dr David Sirota, an organizational researcher and consultant, conducted research into ways of motivating employees. His work was based on surveys from over four million workers around the world - as well as focus groups, interviews, case studies, and informal observations. Most prominently laid out in his 2005 book, The Enthusiastic Employee, co-written with Louis A Mischkind and Michael Irwin Meltzer, he concluded that the way to enthuse workers is to give them what they want.

Sirota's Three-Factor Theory of Human Motivation in the Workplace is based on three fundamental principles:

     1. The organization's goals are not in conflict with the workers' goals.
     2. Workers have basic needs that organizations should try to meet.
     3. Staff enthusiasm is a source of competitive advantage.


To understand and appreciate Sirota's theory, it's important to recognize the starting point: that many, maybe most, people start a new job with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm, and that they generally want to enjoy what they do. He argues that this natural state of motivation is often then reduced, over time, by bad practices and poor conditions within the company.


According to Sirota's research, the three factors that, together, build enthusiasm, are as follows:

     1. Equity/Fairness – People want to be treated fairly at work.
     2. Achievement – People want to do important, useful work, and be recognized for this.
     3. Camaraderie – People want to enjoy good relationships with their co-workers.
        

Factor One: Equity/Fairness

People are motivated by fair treatment, and they want their company to provide basic conditions that respect their physiological, economic, and psychological needs.

Sirota's surveys included questions about physical working conditions, job security, the amount of work expected, compensation, communication, favoritism, and the consistency of management's actions and words.


The equity factor is very similar to the hygiene factors described by Frederick Herzberg in his Motivation-Hygiene Theory.


According to Sirota, to ensure that your organization demonstrates equity, you need to address all three fairness elements:

* Physiological Safety
        
Ensure the physical safety of workers.
        
              * Create safe working conditions.
              * Establish expectations that your staff should have a reasonable work/life balance.
              * Make sure you meet all workplace safety requirements.
              * Provide safety training on a regular basis.
        
* Economic Security
        
Provide a reasonable level of job security.
        
              * Consider all possible alternatives before laying off workers.
              * Ask for voluntary layoffs when a layoff is inevitable.
              * Communicate openly and honestly about the layoff.
              * Provide outplacement and financial support for staff who have lost their jobs.
              * Maintain the fairness needs of the workers who remain.
                
* Provide fair compensation.
              * Pay competitive wages, and keep up with inflation.
              * Include some variable pay (bonuses) for performance.
              * Allow workers to share in company success through stock ownership or other profit-sharing programs.


Sirota's theory is strong on compensation. He doesn't believe (as some others do) that money is low on the list of motivating factors. His theory says that pay represents respect and achievement, not just the ability to purchase life's necessities.


* Psychological Health
        
Create an environment of respect.

              * Treat all staff similarly, regardless of how much power they have.
              * Use power fairly.
              * Minimize status distinctions in the workplace - for example, by avoiding separate parking lots or eating areas.
              * Provide sufficient and appropriate autonomy and independent work.
              * Pay attention to what staff say they want and need. (Management By Wandering Around is an effective way to stay in touch with workers' needs.)
              * Provide positive feedback and recognition.
              * Show interest in workers, and insist on common courtesy.
              
Factor Two: Achievement

People want to be proud of their work, and they want their achievements to be acknowledged. They also want to feel proud of what the organization as a whole does.

Sirota asked workers questions about the amount and type of feedback they received, how participative their work environment was, whether adequate resources were provided, and how proud they were of their company.

To help people feel this sense of achievement, an organization needs to do four things:

* Provide an enabling work environment.

Give people what they need to do the job well.
        
              * Use teams effectively.
              * Use participative leadership practices.
              * Make the organization as flat as possible - in other words, eliminate bureaucracy and hierarchy where you sensibly can.
              * Delegate effectively, and avoid micromanagement.
        
* Provide challenging work.

Allow people to do interesting work that uses their skills and abilities.
        
              * Hire people based on fit.
              * Design jobs for enrichment and satisfaction.
              * Communicate how each job contributes to the company as a whole.
              * Provide training, and opportunities for people to learn new skills.
        
*  Use feedback, recognition, and reward.
        
Let people know how they're doing.
        
              *  Communicate clear expectations.
              * Establish and agree on priorities.
              * Use tangible rewards to acknowledge achievement.
              * Balance criticism with plenty of praise.
              * Promote from within where possible.
        
* Be an organization of purpose and principles.

People want to work for trustworthy companies that they can be proud of.
        
              * Create a vision that can make workers proud.
              * Communicate the principles of the company.
              * "Walk the talk."
                Adopt and apply ethical leadership.
              * Provide a quality product or service, and use quality management practices.

Factor Three: Camaraderie

When people go to work, they want to enjoy themselves. That makes interpersonal relationships very important. A culture that supports and encourages cooperation, communication, friendliness, acceptance, and teamwork is critical for maintaining enthusiasm. A such, partnership needs to be an important part of company culture.

* Partnership Culture
        
Workers want to feel a sense of community and teamwork.
        
              * Make "people skills" a priority. Demonstrate empathy, consideration, and respect – and expect the same from every worker.
              * Encourage interactions, and provide social opportunities.
              * Reward positive team behaviors.
              * Encourage cross-functional interaction and teamwork.
              * Review department mandates and practices regularly to ensure consistency in the approach and message.
              * Use team charters to develop ground rules.
              * Use collaborative conflict resolution and win-win negotiation techniques to resolve differences.

By creating an environment that addresses all three factors for enthusiasm, you can better ensure high worker satisfaction, motivation, and productivity. However, these factors are not independent of one another: You can't ignore compensation needs and expect to make up for it with increased camaraderie. Likewise, you can't allow a manager to treat her staff poorly, even though you provide high achievement elements.


Tip 1:
One of Sirota's findings is that the equity elements are most fundamental, and you must address these before adding other enthusiasm factors.

Tip 2:
Remember that creating the right motivational environment is just one part of motivating people and building enthusiasm. Just as organizations need to provide a positive environment, leaders within organizations need to inspire their teams, and individuals need to take responsibility for their own levels of motivation.


Key Points

Enthusiasm, as a measure of worker motivation and productivity, is central to Sirota's Three-Factor Theory.

Rather than believing that you somehow have to motivate people to do work, this theory assumes that most people start out motivated - but then other things happen, or don't happen, that reduce this natural motivation.

To rebuild worker enthusiasm, leaders and managers must create an environment - and supporting practices - that deliver high levels of equity, achievement, and camaraderie. He argues that when people are treated fairly, are proud of the work they do, and do it with people they like, then enthusiasm grows - along with morale and productivity.