I think it's really brave that you asked your mom. I just can't do that, I keep thinking 'Now I should tell/say/ask' but then I get really nervous and I just don't say it. I think it is a good idea to email her the results later, so she can look at them herself, and she can't say you're making it up or something like that. It could indeed be that your mom is in denial, but I suppose she has to realise it and that might take a while. I wish you luck!
My mom didn't believe me at first. Actually, she may not still. But she finally remitted to the fact that if I think I have Asperger's than it really doesn't matter whether or not she thinks I do.
LOL...my Mom is 84 and she seems to be doing a lot of reminiscing...so in a phone conversation last week she was telling me (yet again) about how unusual a child I was and how they thought I was deaf or retarded because I was more interested in playing with my blocks in the playpen than paying attention to any people. So I asked her if she ever thought I was autistic. Her response--"Oh no, nobody had ever heard of that back then. You were just "different".
That's funny, somehow energeia's post reminded me of something my mom said to me when I was talking about how "good" of a kid I was. I had meant good as in didn't really do bad things, no drugs, no staying out late, no rebellious phase... that sort of thing (in comparison to my sister who was a rather typical kid that way). She said, "it wasn't really that you weren't bad, because you really weren't intentionally bad, you were just different and had your own way of doing things. When things didn't go your way it just didn't work and we all knew it." So she did eventually let me know that "something" was going on, but that they just never pushed it.
Wrt to telling your mom... what do you think is likely the worst that would happen? Probably her telling you you're wrong and not wanting to discuss it further. Well, that's not really any worse than her not knowing, right? Also... just get it over with... if you're ever going to tell her then you're probably better off telling her sooner rather than later instead of wasting tons of time worrying about it.
Yeah, you're probably right. I should tell her. Thanks for the advise
I'm pretty sure my brother could function at a much higher level with appropriate encouragement but instead he's being overprotected.
That's quite possible. I've got a nephew who's got LFA, and he gets help with things and stuff, and it's going great, so it could possibly help, although LFA is different from PDD-NOS. But still.
My brother is getting help... the problem is that I'm pretty sure he's getting too much help, or the wrong kind of help, if you get what I mean. Instead of helping him do things by himself, my parents do certain things for him. That way he'll never become independent.
Well, that isn't always the smartest thing to do, if you ask me. I think he should learn to do those things he can't do, so he will be able to do them sometimes. Although I don't know your brother... But I think anyone should have that chance.
I mean, even if he honestly didn't know that what he said was rude, he should be taught it was, shouldn't he? Grrr. He's a spoiled brat who happens to also have PDD-NOS.
Yes, I think he should ne taught it was rude, so he at least will know that he shouldn't say it, although he can't help it.
Sorry for my anger... it's just really annoying that I have to be perfect in everything while they let him get away with everything, especially because we're not THAT different.
Yeah, that seems pretty annoying to me. It seems your parents think he can't do a thing about anything he does or something. And then you have to be perfect because they putted up with that, so they expect it all from you. At least that's what I think. I hope I didn't offend you or anything.
Btw, did you tell your parents yet?
No, I haven't. It's just that everytime I want to say it, I think everything trough first, and then I want to say it and I think, not right now, and then I just don't say it at all. And I don't really know how to say it either.
Anyway, I usually have to think things through, either consciously or not, and can then write what I want to say from beginning to end without needing to do any editing... I dunno, that's just the way I tend to work.
Just 4 more days and my parents will get back from their holiday...
Yeah, that's how I work too, but I have to edit it mostly.
Where did they go? And did you go on holiday too (not with them, I suppose, but still)?
In two days I'm going on holiday, to France. Just a few more weeks and then school begins again...
No, I didn't go anywhere, just haven't had much access to internet lately.
Hey, have you guys moved to the trailer yet?
(I love trailers...)
What year are you in, and are you doing VMBO, HAVO or VWO? I remember I was so glad to finally have my diploma. I hated secondary school...
I'm going to the fourth year of the VWO now.
Reading it I've also been remembering certain things, like how in first grade all the girls had a "poetry album" that you'd give to all of your friends and family members to write a poem in and put some stickers in and such. I remember how much coaching I got from my mom to do that stuff too... She'd explain over and over to me that it didn't matter that I thought the other kids' poems were lame... that it was a friendship bonding kinda thing and for looking back at later etc. She'd tell me to hand it to x today and to y tomorrow etc. I DID kinda like writing in the other girls' albums... I like coming up with poems... trying to think of rhymes etc. Or rather I used to like it, considering I haven't really written any poetry since I turned 16 or so.
Yeah, I've got a poetry album somewhere in my cupboard too, and I remember all those poems are the same in most albums. Like there are a lot the same in my book and in my brother's, not written by the same person. That are those standard poems you can get anywhere. I think that's kind of unpersonal.
Kids here have 'friendsbooks' now. They are horrible. There is not even the possibility of making something yourself. It's only a list of questions. My girls don't like them. In a negative mood they can answer everything negative (I like that attitude, does that make me a bad mom ;-)). It's not about friendship, its about collecting as many people as you can.
With presents its just the same. If I bring a present I have thought of it. It's not just something grabbed from a shelf in the shops. I can't stand it when some-one does that. Like the mom of a friend of my youngest. She did not even think about how my daughter gets rashes very soon, and that she can't cope with lots of sugar. She always asked me how the youngest was doing with her skin and sugar. And for her birthday brought her a tin of sweets 99% sugar, the rest additives and small bottles with smelly lotion and bathfoam. I don't get that. She's sort of empathic, but does not think.
I'd rather have it the other way around.
Ooh, I've got like three of those friendsbooks in my cupboard, and in all three of them are the same persons, but then three years later. And then it are like my parents, brother and the rest of the family, and just three friends and that's it. And me twice in it
I think that mom of the friend of yours meant it well, but she could've asked if it was okay to give her that. At least that's what I think.
(I'm the one who always thinks best of people b.t.w. So saying 'I'm not sure she meant well' does not come easy. She really hurt me bad with something else. And admitted doing it on purpose.)
Well, if she did that something else on purpose, I don't know if she meant well.
I'm not sure she meant well. And I've reasons for that now. People have been warning me for years; I failed to notice these signs. Also because I don't want to react upon gossip. Now I see them in hindsight and regret not picking up the signs before. But thats a completely different story.
If you got reasons to not be sure she meant well, it is quite possible she didn't meant well. If she did this on purpose too, I don't think she's nice. I don't know that person, and I always think the best of people, but that's not always smart, I know that too.
(Sorry that my reply is a little messy, but I read your last reply before I read the other one)
I recently found some internetlinks in a magazine (about psychology, I like reading stuff about that) about prejudgement and autism (all in dutch, but that's not the point) and there was an AS test with it. I told my mom I was doing those tests, and then I asked some things like how I acted when I was a (younger) kid, and then I showed her the result: out of fifty I had 38 points, and then she said "I don't think you've got AS, you're not the very social skilled, but you don't got AS." And then she said a few things why I didn't have it, but she said things that aren't AS at all, things that are Tourette syndrome. I don't know what to say to her now, because I think she doesn't really know the traits of AS, and I still think I've got it.
And I hope you get what I mean with what I said, because now I re-read it and don't really get it all myself