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Yetti

07-07-2007, 03:52 AM

Lily_of_the_Field Wrote:
I know that many autistics tend to appear younger than they are, both physically (for some unexplained genetic reason) and socially (because our lack of typical social savvy may make us seem childlike).  In my case, my speech issues also play into this.  In the past week I've started to notice that this is becoming a problem for me.  I'm taking a job training course, and although I can't be more than a few years younger than some of the other students, I'm treated as the class baby.  I'm frequently described by such terms as "precious," "adorable," and "sweet."  These aren't insults, of course, but they're also not quite the competant, mature, professional image I'm trying to project.  I'm trying to train myself to lower the register of my voice to sound less babyish, but in a social setting in which I'm focusing all my energy on being able to talk at all, it's hard to remember.  

Also, not to get to personal, but I'm trying to enter the whole dating scene/meet a mate thing, and I think the childlike appearence and voice are impediments in that area.  The only men who show any kind of romantic interest in me are pervy old men who I suspect are borderline pedophiles--not quite what I'm looking for.  

Is there any kind of solution to this?


Yes, Dress older. I had to do so through out life... But at 56, My youthful looks are well received <G>  "YOU DON"T LOOK 56!" <G>

Yetti

07-07-2007, 03:54 AM

Natalie Wrote:
Today I went out to lunch with my mom and I was offered a children's menu (I'm a college student).


Take it! Its cheaper!   At 56 I love being offered senior menus <G> At 19, when I worked at a dept store while going to college , an elderly woman called teh police claiming the store was using child labor... She thought I was 13 <G>  I had to show her my drivers license to prove it to her.. She was so embarassed...  that happened often to me especially when I wore very young looking clothes.

Yetti

07-07-2007, 03:56 AM

Lily_of_the_Field Wrote:

jaderabbit49 Wrote:
I wouldn't worry about it.  Looking young is a benefit.  
Also, I wouldn't buy into the idea that every older guy who shows interest in you is a pervert.  Some may have the best intentions, and an appreciation for you that men your own age can't even fathom.


I don't mean that every older man who is interested in me, or any younger woman, is a pervert, but these particular men, I believe, are.  They are men in their 40s and 50s who tell me how "sweet" and "innocent" I am.  It creeps me out.  

Maybe "looking younger" isn't quite the best way to describe this phenomenon, because I don't know that I necessarily look chronologically younger than I am; it's more like "looking childlike."  I think I look, or give off an aura, like a child in a young adult's body, or something.  I don't know if it's my walk, my voice, my face, my body, my clothes, my (lack of) social grace and speaking ability, or what, but there's *something* that's bringing out people's "ooh how precious" instinct.


One nun during Catholic School in the 50s use to pinch my cheek off... saying YOU ARE SO DARLING AND CUTE>> > I had bruises on my cheek.. I avoided her.

Yetti

07-07-2007, 03:57 AM
I received my driving permit at the age of 14 (old days they did that) . Two police officers stopped me and my mother because they thought I was 10 yrs old <G>   The officers were shocked.

Yetti

07-07-2007, 04:20 PM
Lily: Beware of Old Letches or shall I say Leaches.. I had my handful as a tennis player at very wealthy tennis and country clubs... They made me sick.... They want to steal your youth via naivety.... Crafty nasty old men... stay clear of them. Smile


Yetti Wrote:

Lily_of_the_Field Wrote:
I know that many autistics tend to appear younger than they are, both physically (for some unexplained genetic reason) and socially (because our lack of typical social savvy may make us seem childlike).  In my case, my speech issues also play into this.  In the past week I've started to notice that this is becoming a problem for me.  I'm taking a job training course, and although I can't be more than a few years younger than some of the other students, I'm treated as the class baby.  I'm frequently described by such terms as "precious," "adorable," and "sweet."  These aren't insults, of course, but they're also not quite the competant, mature, professional image I'm trying to project.  I'm trying to train myself to lower the register of my voice to sound less babyish, but in a social setting in which I'm focusing all my energy on being able to talk at all, it's hard to remember.  

Also, not to get to personal, but I'm trying to enter the whole dating scene/meet a mate thing, and I think the childlike appearence and voice are impediments in that area.  The only men who show any kind of romantic interest in me are pervy old men who I suspect are borderline pedophiles--not quite what I'm looking for.  

Is there any kind of solution to this?


Yes, Dress older. I had to do so through out life... But at 56, My youthful looks are well received <G>  "YOU DON"T LOOK 56!" <G>

Yetti

07-07-2007, 11:25 PM

nancy Wrote:
Any pointers as to where to look for a voice coaching?  I have been looking in the direction of SLP.  I am not sure it is the right tract.  Please advise. Thanks.


Nancy I had a major Czech Dialect. Check with the local theatre dept at the universities.. or other theatre programs... Not only did I get rid of my czech dialect, I got rid of my Tx dialect.... Nothing like an acting voice coach and acting lessons to teach projection and correct speaking.. We gave our daughter acting and voice lessons since she was a small child.... I tell you it works.... Smile

Yetti

07-07-2007, 11:26 PM

nancy Wrote:

couldbecousin Wrote:
I have heard of voice coaching for people who want to lower, strengthen or otherwise improve their speaking voices.  I saw this coaching demonstrated on TV some years ago, with one of the subjects being a grown woman with a little-girl voice, and she did end up sounding much more adult.  I don't know if there is any such coaching in your area or what it would cost, but it might be worth looking into. Smile


Yes you learn to use your diaphram.... after years being out of acting.. it only take a year and one can lose their voice strength.. it just takes know how and practice... I feel all Aspie children need voice and theatre training.. Theatre teaches inter and intrapersonal skills!

Yetti

07-12-2007, 03:18 AM

energeia Wrote:

Yetti Wrote:
female aspies have a higher date rape % than any other group.


Where did this statistic come from?
(and yes, it did happen to me, except that's not what they called it back then)


Energia.. many moons ago when I was in the criminal justice biz.. I don't have an updated study

Yetti

07-12-2007, 03:19 AM

Yetti Wrote:

energeia Wrote:

Yetti Wrote:
female aspies have a higher date rape % than any other group.


Where did this statistic come from?
(and yes, it did happen to me, except that's not what they called it back then)


Energia.. many moons ago when I was in the criminal justice biz.. I don't have an updated study


REmember that is  a lifetime plus... when we moved to another town.. a teen age boy who did odd jobs for some nuns, one night broke in and killed one.. and sexuallly assaulted her corpse.. I guess that would not count as a lifetime.

Don't ask me about my job in the criminal courts.. it gets gruesome.

nambo

09-02-2007, 08:46 PM
Goodness, is this another Aspie trait I share?, still finding out if I am one.
I got a job with an insurance company when I was 29 or 30, one of the girls politely asked me? "Is this your first job from school?"

Or when I had my own house and somebody knocks on the door and asks to speak to my mum.

Worst thing though, especially being male, is, by the time I looked old enough to be attactive to any potential mate, I was far too old to go out with them, there was no inbetween time between looking like a boy and being a dirty old man, they sort of overlapped.

labelsremovedwriter17

09-04-2007, 03:45 PM
I'm sometimes seen younger because of my interests and being less jaded than my peers. I get considered naiive because I'm polite most of the time but I'm not I'm just innocent. Like already mentioned I have a hard time dating because I'm afraid someone will take advantage of me again like my second ex boyfriend (he assaulted me). But most of the time people assume I'm older because I look about 2 years older than I am, my high IQ, and the way I talk. Some of my interests are more age appropriate or grown up than not. I love sociology, mythology etc. but I still love anime and stuffed animals.
So it's all a matter of perspective to me.
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