I only meet another Aspie in person, but in fact i look younger than i am and people just still treat me like a kid while they deal with people my age as if they were bigger (NT by the way, because they are more sociable, they look bigger),it's very frustrating :s.
The only think that can help is the attitude, i try to have a good attitude and to be concentrated on the moment when i'm in a situation like that, to be able of talk and move correctly to don't seem like i am younger
The picture on my husband's ID was taken when he was 27yo, but in it he looks 17-18yo. He's 30yo now and sometimes gets IDed and it confuses people from time to time. Growing a beard and moustache has made him look a lot older... he looks more like 25-27yo now, which is still younger than he is but is closer to the truth. Of course that's not really a solution Lily can work with...
What Luai wrote pretty much used to apply to me too. I don't know how old people would guess me nowadays though. Type of clothing and attitude matter a lot, but I don't care.
I wouldn't worry about it. Looking young is a benefit.
Also, I wouldn't buy into the idea that every older guy who shows interest in you is a pervert. Some may have the best intentions, and an appreciation for you that men your own age can't even fathom.
I'm sorry that it creeps you out, Lily. I can understand. On the other hand, they may be sincere, and missing those aspects in others they meet. People quickly turn bitter, jaded and close-minded. You may just be touching their hearts.
On the bright side, you can use the 'looking younger' to your advantage as well... All the nice discounts for children under 12... Can't use those anymore, but iirc the last time I used that was when I was 17yo.
I agree btw that some older men are creepy... I don't like it when they're all over me just because, rather than because of the things I say. I've experienced both older men who became interested in me after talking to me for an extended period of time, and older men who became interested in me before I'd opened my mouth at all... The latter are freaky, the former can be neat. Of course I'm married now so it doesn't matter, the only 'older' guy I'm interested in is my husband.
(He's only 8 years older than me)
Any pointers as to where to look for a voice coaching? I have been looking in the direction of SLP. I am not sure it is the right tract. Please advise. Thanks.
Mine came from HS... and college.. Public School and State university... there are community theatres where you can volunteer ,often some actors will help you.... I did it when I was young and on the state's nickel.
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I definitely can't afford any kind of voice coaching, so that's not an option for me. I am thinking now that my problem really isn't appearing chronologically younger; it's appearing childlike. Two nights ago I was out with a group, and they all guessed I was chronologically older than I was (although I was semi-dressed-up and it was dark, so that might make a difference). But I was still pushed into the childlike role of the performing prodigy. And I was hit on by one of the creepy older men. (I truly don't mean to denigrate older men, or older men who are attracted to younger women, or age-gap couples, or anything like that. These *particular* men are men who are sexually attracted to traits they view as childlike. That's what makes them creepy and semi-pedophiliac, to me.)
I haven't found any particular pattern of behavior to ameliorate this childlike appearance. If I talk more, I sound like a child prodigy participating in adult conversation. If I talk less, I sound like a mute child. If I wear makeup, I look like a little girl wearing her mom's makeup. And so forth. Maybe it's my eyes? I really can't figure it out. Even when people overestimate my chronological age (most people guess 2-4 years older), they still treat me as if I were 10 years younger.
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I was a great tennis player, took out my aspie rages constructively on the court...I use to hustle tennis games with my first bf who was a national player at the wealthy country clubs... the old geezers were always hitting up on me..... I wore a long blone braid in the back... They loved that little girl look... but my partner and I slaughtered them on the court.. that made it worse. they love feisty little girls... They turned me off.
I definitely can't afford any kind of voice coaching, so that's not an option for me. I am thinking now that my problem really isn't appearing chronologically younger; it's appearing childlike. Two nights ago I was out with a group, and they all guessed I was chronologically older than I was (although I was semi-dressed-up and it was dark, so that might make a difference). But I was still pushed into the childlike role of the performing prodigy. And I was hit on by one of the creepy older men. (I truly don't mean to denigrate older men, or older men who are attracted to younger women, or age-gap couples, or anything like that. These *particular* men are men who are sexually attracted to traits they view as childlike. That's what makes them creepy and semi-pedophiliac, to me.)
I haven't found any particular pattern of behavior to ameliorate this childlike appearance. If I talk more, I sound like a child prodigy participating in adult conversation. If I talk less, I sound like a mute child. If I wear makeup, I look like a little girl wearing her mom's makeup. And so forth. Maybe it's my eyes? I really can't figure it out. Even when people overestimate my chronological age (most people guess 2-4 years older), they still treat me as if I were 10 years younger.
That's (Yetti's advice) exactly what I would suggest. Or a music teacher, ie; singing.
Join a church choir.. a wealthy one iwth a great choir master.. he /she will teach you for free.
I look younger than I actually am, mostly due to my inability to grow any facial hair. I'm 21, and I still get carded for R-rated movies, not to mention alcohol.
I got carded till 27... Facial hair is overrated.. once you hit 40 hair grows abundantly in your ears and nose and sometimes between your toes.. so count your blessings
Guess what! I got carded at SAM's for buying wine, yesterday! I am 56! ROFLMAO... I have grey hair! and definitely wrinkles...
^Yetti....that might fall under TMI
I have the same issue with looking younger than my chronological age - I'm 28 in a few days, and I still get carded for alcohol - and the occasional R-rated movie (!)
Part of it's genetic - my mother's whole family is deceptively young-looking. My mother is in her 60s and gets mistaken for being 15-20 years younger. Depending on your point of view, the looking-younger-business could be a good thing once you hit the age when most others are getting wrinkly and gray. Personally I never thought there was anything wrong with looking your age, but I may change that opinion once I start getting there.
Aspies might have a "younger" (childLIKE, not childISH) demeanor as well and therefore seem younger to others who've lost that, especially if your interests aren't like "most other people's" - which I would bet applies to most of the people on this board. Again, depending on point of view, this is an asset - it's helped me when I've worked with kids, because I can relate to them better than some other adults can.
As far as the "scuzzy old men" business goes: IMHO maybe you can let leering go, but you don't have to put up with any comments or physical contact. I've had the occasional being-hit-on-by-scuzzy-old-drunk!-guy and found that telling them to back off - loudly enough so that it gets the attention of others around you - did the trick.
(Now WHY are these the only kind of guys who ever hit on me?? *sigh*)
^Yetti....that might fall under TMI
I
That is my aspie blathering showing 
^Yetti....that might fall under TMI
I
That is my aspie blathering showing
We are discussing self defense on the other board.. the problem with looking younger , old geezers and pedophiles are attracted.... female aspies have a higher date rape % than any other group.
I get age guesses of 13-17 and I'm 25. However, I still get many people asking me when I'm having children. Odd.
For those who have their age guessed 3 to 5 years younger than actual age: Is it possible that the people guessing your ages are trying to be 'nice' by intentionally guessing younger? I'm only curious, and given the aspie incidence of not getting these things, I thought it would be worth asking to see.
Whenever I've been in a position to card, I've carded everyone. I can't judge ages, and just because someone looks like they have wrinkles and white hair... well I've seen 16 year olds who looked 30 because of smoking. I don't really understand why someone would be expected to correctly judge age just from appearance. The laws about carding are to keep people underage from purchasing certain objects, not people who look underage from purchasing them.
Re my looks, I am constantly told that I look much younger than my age ( I really like these people
) but you can judge from the pic.
I don't think pics really show age, as sometimes it's your general appearance & movements which give the wrong age impression.
I have been told that on the phone I sound like a 'wee lassie' & even my friends ask if they can speak to me !!
& there was me thinking I had a low toned sexy voice ah well !!
