NT mother, AS son. We are so frustrated with each other. He told me the recently, "You just don't understand what it's like to be me". He's absolutely right, I don't, how can come to understand him better? He has responsibilities in the house, like making his bed in the morning before he plays computer games. If he doesn't do it then he's not allowed to play games that day, and he blames me for his decisions even though he knows the rules. He's almost 13
Hi moms
i've just passed that age no very time ago and i think i can remember some things
Maybe he "needs" the games as a precursor to being able to cope with or do other things
well this happens a lot on this age, the idea of a contract its actually good, sometimes you need to do certain things in certain moments or all the day you will give a sensation of nervousness, maybe you can talk with your son about the things he need to do, and the things and the responsibilities that you need that he does and make a treatmen
thanks for the ideas. I had thought about allowing gaming before chores, and I think I've tried that, but for him it doesn't seem to work. He blames me for interrupting his fun and says "it's always me that gets picked on". We have a contract for his game boy, but I think I need to re-do that. It's not what it needs to be.
I have thought about the adolescent thing, and definitely agree that it's part of it. he wasn't always a difficult child, he was a very sweet, loving, snuggly baby, sweet small child, loving to give hugs and all that. he would often disappear into his own world, build lego trains for hours, draw trains, read books about trains and colored everything yellow which was his favorite color. I think I can safely say he was obsessed. This has changed over the years to the Solar system (which he still likes) and Pokemon which I have a hard time being tolerant of. As I've read about AS and think on the past years, the signs were all there, I just didn't have the resources to find this out. We are trying to get an "official" diagnosis so that he can participate in activities in our area with other people like him and maybe make some friends, and if not "friends" at least people that won't ridicule him for how he is. It breaks my heart to hear of "friends" at school that take advantage of him and think it's funny.
another thought, how many here benefit from a schedule? I, by nature am not scheduled, and have a hard time being so. I have often wondered if that would benefit him
yes. Sadly. Especially middle school, children are so cruel to each other
actually my house isn't that tidy. It's usually a mess. The point of him making his bed (and all children are expected to do this) is getting some work done. His dad would work him from sun up to sun down on his giant garden if he had the choice. That's a sore point between us, but anyway, the bed is a very small thing. Right now he's not doing it, and that's his choice. My original point is that we are just not getting along and it makes me sad.
sounds good in theory. He takes advantage of me being busy with the rest of the things that mom's do. (he's the oldest of 5) Sooooooooooo, I can set a timer for him, but sometimes I don't hear it go off and he's not about to say. "well, that was a nice game time, too bad it's over, guess I'll shut it off now" *sigh* Thanks for all the suggestions
He'll come to me and say "Hey mom, I just caught a...." whatever the pokemon name is. I had no idea there was a strategy, interesing. which is probably why he likes it. You should see him and his five year old brother watching one of the pokemon evolve on the game boy that he has. They get sooooooooooooooooo excited, it's really funny
He just passed a level recently that he's been having a really hard time with. He was very proud of himself