Aspies For Freedom

Hi,
I wrote the following just now in Spectrum Haven but no-one replied and also no-one replied to the last thread I started. I just wondered why people hate me already when I'm new. I came here from another AS site because I was being treated badly. I also can't get the chatroom to work here - I guess I must be doing something wrong. I'd really appreciate help with the message below because I am really not coping.

Hi,

I'm really struggling today because in my office volunteers have been coming in to do CRB forms and they have been gossipping really noisily and I don't understand 'gossip' or the need or desire for it.

The noise has made me feel panicky and even though I used earplugs, I had to take them out because they hurt after an hour.

My main problem today, though is this. I wanted to add an image to a post on another website. Despite being given instructions, I still couldn't make it work and I just feel so stupid.

People with AS are supposed to have average or above average IQ but I clearly don't and I feel like I am letting aspies down.

If I have AS symptoms and am stupid, does that mean something other than AS is wrong with me? I don't understand.

Also, all the people I know with ASDs are experts at their obsessions / interests. But even if I really pursue my interests, everyone still seems to know more about it than I do - it is like I am always behind the rest of the world.

I am also backwards for my age.

I must be a bad aspie because I can't even study my obsessions properly and I don't seem to be that good at figuring things out and also I am useless with computers and every aspie I know is great with computer etc. I just can't do it.

I really like computers and have been trying all my life to learn about them but I just can't - I guess I'm not clever enough.

Also, I did design a really basic website once using html but I couldn't do that now - what does it mean if your intellectual level is gradually decreasing?

There are sometimes links to IQ tests on the site that I usually post on and I try not to do them because I get upset, and also people say the tests are not accurate anyway.

I did the test and got 144 or something, but other people got more than me. 144 was the lowest out of everybody.
I got really upset and don't ever want to do another test like that. I don't need to be told I'm dumb, I already know, thanks.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

Do I have a learning difficulty? Am I retarded?

Does anyone know of any suitable online communities for people like me because I am not good enough to belong with the AS online community and I feel like I'm letting aspies down.

Sorry

People don't reply to my posts (and often those of others) if it is a lot to read. They click, see it's really long then skip it without having to read it all. Nothing mean is intended.  People browse threads like TV channels and comment on whatever catches their interest.

I don't always get any replies either. I think if people here hated you you they would certainly and clearly let you know.

I don't like gossip either, there is only about 1% of truth in it.
I went on a communication course once and they said that gossip is completely useless and to not pay any attention to it.

I feel like this too. But AS is all about communication problems and it could be that some aspect of your AS is interfering with your undertanding of the instructions you are being given. Sometimes I get asked questions that I just don't understand what I am being asked. I've found if you ask them to explain it in a different way sometimes the rephrasing helps.

My IQ comes out at 148 which is above average between 70 and 100 is normal, so you are not stupid. But you may well have some other learning difficulties, such as Attention deficient disorder (short attention span) or dyslexia (difficulty with reading) that are hindering your learning.

Hi aliengirl, well i'll tell you, that you will don't feel treated badly, well i'm new too and maybe I am not qualified to tell you this but you always will find support here

jaja i can't understand either NT's desire for gossip

I feel the same thing too, but maybe i'ts just an impression in your head, i feel i'm stupid but some people tells me the opposite, maybe you only need to have more conffiance in yourself i discover that if you feel you can do something, doesn't matter what, and you dont give up, you can do anything

HEY, hey hey wait, you arent stupid 144 is a Genius puntuation!!, (i know many people who has 100-130), and taking in count your difficulties as an aspie, you are much more intelligent that this people, don't feel bad never, the intelligence is important anyway but the most important thing in the life is the attitude, if you have a good attitude and you feel capable of doing anything you will success in what you want.

it doesn't exist such a thing like a bad aspie anyway, every aspie is different an have different Skills maybe you don't find yours, hey it's a myth that every aspie is good with the computers, i know NT's who are better in computers than me, as i say i feel retarded sometimes too, sometimes i can't understand everithing i read or hear, or i can't keeo in order my thoughts, but that happens on many AS too.

your intellectual level can't decrease if you don't want to, the mind is the most powerful thing, if you do exercise like jogging, and keep the mind working and good attitud you will feel fine.

well you can contact me if you still feeling bad, remember always trust in yourself [/php]

Thank you everyone, you have been really nice.

I was really struggling yesterday because I don't have great self-confidence at the best of times and I was really struggling at work and with personal stuff too.

I feel a lot better today and you have all really helped. Thank you for your kindness.

Ren Chou - regarding learning difficulties, I have dyslexia, dyspraxia and Irlen Syndrome and short term memory problems. I had ADHD as a child but it hasn't been quite so problematic since I've been an adult. But hey, this is just how nature made me

If you got 144 on an official IQ test, you have no right to complain.

I got 99 on my official test, when I was in 9th grade.

If this is an online IQ test, though, then it probably means nothing.  Get an official IQ test if you want to feel worse about yourself; I know it had that effect on me.

I realize what I wrote may have sounded harsh; I didn't mean for it to.  Sometimes I just don't think when I'm posting something--I completely forgot that you said you're easily offended and so on.  I don't want you to have that impression from me.

I have the same issues you speak of...  poor impression of intelligence, low self-confidence, not good at "typical AS things."

Hi Batman55,
It's okay, I'm not offended and what you wrote above was really nice.
I would very much like to do a 'proper' IQ test. I am seeing a neuro-behavioural specialist in a few weeks, so I will ask him how I go about doing this.

Thanks

yes, Online IQ Test's aren't accurate, in one i got 130, and in other 110?? i don't know which one is right :s

Did you get an official IQ test?  You can post a "low" score if you got one; as said before, I got a 99 on mine, I have almost never seen anyone post a lower score.

Although it's possible that my depression/low confidence/anxiety at the precise time of testing, distracted me from doing better.

Hello, aliengirl, and welcome!  I am smart myself but I am a poor reader (too easily distracted) and I have neither the ability nor the interest to learn the stereotypically Aspie things like computers.  (I can't even figure out how to copy and paste, though people have tried to teach me! )  I also lose skills or forget things I should know, especially if I don't practice those skills or use that information regularly.  Sometimes it seems to me that new information crowds the older stuff out of my memory.  And I am very "young" for my age (41) and lacking a lot of the skills my peers have, such as driving.  You are not stupid, you are simply doing the best you can with your learning difficulties...give yourself more credit!

I wouldn't like to call an IQ at 144 stupid, cuz then I would be rather stupid.

I'd say you should try to take things one step at a time. Looking at the big picture and comparing yourself to others can be very overwhelming.

Ah see no wonder you feel stupid you have other things preventing you from processing the information. I have short term memory problems too, I just make sure I write everything down. I'm sorry if I sounded patronising you clearly know more about different learning difficulties than I do.

I've never heard of Irlen syndrome, what's that one?

Do ADD meds help with increasing reading rate, and/or do they help you focus on challenging material?

I have never been medicated for ADD, and I am wondering if ADD meds (the ones in question: Strattera, Wellbutrin, Effexor possibly) can help a slow/distractible reader like myself.

I notice I have most of the problems you list above, CBC, but I choose to interpret this factually:  I am lacking intelligence, esp. when compared to high functioning NTs.  How can an Aspie dispute a fact like this.  Stupidity is stupidity, don't delude yourself by thinking otherwise.

The key words in my last post are "compared to most other people"... a serious cognitive deficiency is glaringly obvious, when comparisons are brought up.  I have lived my whole life being compared to what other people can do... my mother and father did this all the time, and I was meant to feel bad about my differences.  All that criticism destroyed my self-esteem.

I hate to say it but cognitive dysfunction or substantial executive dysfunction does mean stupid, if we can be honest here.  I don't know about anyone else, but I certainly fit the bill!