Aspies For Freedom

Hi,

I'm really struggling today because in my office volunteers have been coming in to do CRB forms and they have been gossipping really noisily and I don't understand 'gossip' or the need or desire for it.

The noise has made me feel panicky and even though I used earplugs, I had to take them out because they hurt after an hour.

My main problem today, though is this. I wanted to add an image to a post on another website. Despite being given instructions, I still couldn't make it work and I just feel so stupid.

People with AS are supposed to have average or above average IQ but I clearly don't and I feel like I am letting aspies down.

If I have AS symptoms and am stupid, does that mean something other than AS is wrong with me? I don't understand.

Also, all the people I know with ASDs are experts at their obsessions / interests. But even if I really pursue my interests, everyone still seems to know more about it than I do - it is like I am always behind the rest of the world.

I am also backwards for my age.

I must be a bad aspie because I can't even study my obsessions properly and I don't seem to be that good at figuring things out and also I am useless with computers and every aspie I know is great with computer etc. I just can't do it.

I really like computers and have been trying all my life to learn about them but I just can't - I guess I'm not clever enough.

Also, I did design a really basic website once using html but I couldn't do that now - what does it mean if your intellectual level is gradually decreasing?

There are sometimes links to IQ tests on the site that I usually post on and I try not to do them because I get upset, and also people say the tests are not accurate anyway.

I did the test and got 144 or something, but other people got more than me. 144 was the lowest out of everybody.
I got really upset and don't ever want to do another test like that. I don't need to be told I'm dumb, I already know, thanks.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

Do I have a learning difficulty? Am I retarded?

Does anyone know of any suitable online communities for people like me because I am not good enough to belong with the AS online community and I feel like I'm letting aspies down.

Sorry

You're not letting down Aspies at all Aliengirl, why would you be doing that? Every Aspie is different, just like everybody is different. We're not all good at computers or math or science. For example my weakest subjects are math and science, and I just started learning a lot about computers recently.

You work don't you, in the office? That's good right there. Believe me, there are so many who have a hard time posting pictures up on the internet because it can be confusing. It took me a couple tries the first time I did it.

People with AS don't have to possess above average IQ's..Like I said, all Aspies are different.

Don't be so down, keep coming here because we will appreciate your contributions, and I hope you do keep coming here.

Hi -

First of all: there's nothing "wrong" with you.  You might learn differently than the majority of people....it's a variation, not a fault.  

How are you trying to learn the computer information?  If you're trying to read directions, or follow steps from verbal directions, and having trouble - those might not be the best learning styles for you.  Are you better at learning how to do something if someone shows you how instead?  It might be better for you to watch someone else do it first, especially if you're very highly visual.

(If that might work - try to find someone who will just let you watch, and not be babbling spoken directions at you as they do it.  For me at least, that combination scrambles the channels...)

I can sympathize re: the noise.  

Holy crap, do you post at a MENSA forum or something? I can't imagine that 144 would be the lowest score posted... Most of the people there must have been lying to make themselves look better. I'm lucky if I can score a 120 on most of the internet IQ tests, and my average "official" score result was 138. Internet IQ scores don't mean anything, and you are certainly not retarded (hell, you're probably smarter than me and a lot of other people here as well). Don't worry about not knowing everything about anything either - no matter who you are or how smart you are, chances are there will always be someone who knows a lot more about a given subject than yourself. I meet people all the time who know more about snakes and freshwater fish than I do, but I continue to learn about them because I enjoy doing it, not because I'm trying to become an all-knowing guru on the subject. If you find something you like doing, collecting, or learning about, don't stop just because someone knows more than you.

Aliengirl, maybe you have a gift that some people with Asperger have, but you don't know it yet.  Yes, everyone learns differently.  Literally rereading the same chapter four or five separate times did it for me (good memory).

The best way that works for me is really clear written instructions. The problem is the instructions that I find or that people give me often 'miss things out' because the person who wrote them thinks they are obvious so don't need to be said, but what is obvious to others is not necessarily obvious to me!

What I normally do that works best is get someone to show me and make my own written notes as they are showing me - that way I can make sure I have a record of the things that are important for me to know.

It also helps I can watch the person too (in addition to making notes) because then I can 'replay' that in my head which helps me to know what I'm supposed to be doing.

The problem is that it is hard for me to find people who are willing to show me and be sufficiently patient with my.
My Dad used to teach me stuff, but he just got impatient if I didn't understand and shouted at me or hit me.

I keep telling myself my AS is a variation - and I know that is true - it's just that I worry that I am a bad aspie and I am letting others down. I do some autism and disability rights work and campaigning, but when I make mistakes like this, I feel like I am makings worse because people will look at me and think: 'Wowl she really is stupid!' and I will be making the situation for aspies worse rather than better.

Thanks. It was just an online test. I've taken a couple and in one I got 144 (though that was the lowest in the forum I mentioned) and on another one I didn't know because It only went up to 140 and I went off the end of it. They were both online so probably meaningless.

The only 'proper' test I had was by an educational pychologist. There were 4 types of test. I got 99 out of 99 on 2, 95 out of 99 on one and 30 out of 99 on the other, which was processing speed which is the kind of learning impairment / dyslexia form that I have.

The average for non-learning impaired and non-dyslexic people is 40-60 per test (out of 99) But I don't really know how to interpret that.

Where can I get a test to find out if I am retarded or not? I am going to a neuro-behavioural clinic in July - could they help?

aliengirl, if you got that on your test you are definitely not "retarded". You appear smart just by reading your writing.

My IQ is terrible. Mines 68... So Aliengirl when i see 144, I see thats very high and very good. Im clever, its just my IQ thats annoying heh

Nothing's wrong with you.
You seem to be a quite nice and intelligent person to me.
At least compared to most of my students
Just find a way out of your depression, please.
Be yourself, and start loving yourself for what you are.
That's a great thing to do!

do you still want help with the image thing? I think i can help.

I would really appreciate help. I just about managed one image the other day but that was because the site it was on was specially set up for posting images!

Yes, I would be very grateful for help. Thank you

My daughter and another Aspie boy in town, both about the same age and functioning make a lot of Cs and Ds in school. For both math and science is hard for them so don't put yourself down.

I don't think it's lack of intelligence that's the culprit for my daughter and probably the boy I mention above,  it is difficulty in processing information. Also, my daughter lives in her own world about 50-60% of the time so misses a lot unfortunately.

In elementary school, however, my daughter was known for her excellent writing skills. She is also able to analyze several thousands ways to Sunday as the expression goes whatever she is interested in in ways superior to her age group I think so I have high hopes for her!

She also has an above average IQ (about 105 at last count). If she could process better her IQ would probably be about 130-135 which is typical for my family/genes probably.

Finally, if you google IQ you will learn experts now think there are at least 7 different types of intelligence equal to or superior really to those possessed by "mental athletes" including:

creative ability- poetry, art, etc.

physical ability - athletes

social skills - politicians, managers, leaders

straightforward IQ- good at answering academic questions fairly quickly

good spatial skills- engineers

the other types of IQ I forget

Good luck to you. Just be persistent. Mark Twain said that the key to success if 90% showing up on time. True!

The way you wrote about your experience you made it very easy for us to understand what you were saying.

I think you could write a cool children's story about your situation.  The aspie girl who thought she was letting down other aspies.

But I hope the happy ending is...she realizes that she is very cool and has many strengths and many great qualities.

Good luck to you!

PS whenever I learn something new related to computers I have to have another person show me step by step.  Meanwhile, on a piece of paper I write down the instructions step by step as we go.  I make sure to practice it once with the person still there.

I second that Nadinebrwn, Aliengirl, an IQ of 144, certainly isn't retarded, actually, you are one of my favourite posters on here, you are down to earth, and usually well thought out in your posts IMO, just because we aren't good in one area, doesn't mean we aren't great in others.

I am dyscalculic, and have all the innate mathematical abilities of a potato, then again, I am fairly good with biochemistry and botany, YMMV, as they say, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, my spatial skills aren't brilliant, but passable, but socially, I'm not bad.

(although I prefer auties, as we rock )

You just got to find your niche