Aspies For Freedom

I'm a member of the Ramblers' Association (http://www.ramblers.org.uk) but for reasons I've posted about elsewhere, I haven't been out with my local group for over two years. In addition to the main members' magazine 'walk' I also receive a magazine called 'hike' which is sent to all members under 40. The most recent issue invited contributions for a forthcoming feature on walking and mental health. Hence my email to the author, and her reply...

If the description of my Corsican holiday sounds at all familiar, that's because I've already posted about it here, in a thread called "What did you do for Autistic Pride Day?" as it happens...

I don't really have any positive experiences from when my school decided that should focus on "getting outsiders included". I was pretty settled with being alone and did certainly not desire those stupid parlor games.

I recognise this from the 2 group holidays I've had. Initially, when being in a group of total strangers, I got the comment "Oh, he can talk...". I didn't fit in.
My main hobby is walking. I do that alone now for years, 4 days per month (3 nights), with a small backpack. It gives me the energy to work for several weeks again.
Have you tried going on holiday alone? I travel by train a lot in Europe. In my experience, a train is a good place to meet individual fellow travellers.

I think what you need is a group for Aspies, since you're never going to find a group of mostly NTs that don't act like, well, NTs.  The best advice I could give is to just try to fit in, sure it's hard, but if you really don't enjoy it, don't go, otherwise, you gotta adapt to the surroundings.  Personally, I love staying out late at night drinking with people, it's that social interaction I've been avoiding so long that I enjoy.  I've never had a lot of friends, and lately the ones I do have have been moving away.  My best friend that I've known most of my life is living in San Diego California, about 3000 miles away from here, so if I want to see him, I have to come up with 200 bucks for a plane ticket (or 450 for a train ticket).  The nearest friend I have lives 45 minutes away, so lately, any social interaction at all is welcome.  I joined up with a few local meetup groups, currently I'm in an Atheist group, and a Linux group.  I don't know if I'd call these people friends, but it feels really good to meet up with other like-minded people.

When I travel, if I'm staying in a hotel somewhere, I usually go find the local bars in the area to get drunk and meet people.  I usually don't see any of these people again, sometimes they add me as a friend on Myspace, but that's about it.  I just used to avoid social interaction at pretty much all costs, but now I'm 26 years old, if I'm not going to have a relationship, I might as well at least try a little harder to enjoy life and meet people, and if staying out late at a bar is what it takes, than that's what it takes, you just gotta do what you feel is right for you.


As a side note since someone mentioned it:
I love traveling by train, I don't know how it is in Europe, but here in the US, we have some extremely long-distance trains with sleeper car service.  It takes about 3 days to travel from coast to coast (our trains aren't as modern or fast as the European ones, they're pretty much all diesel powered).  When I took the train across the country, I don't think I've ever been more relaxed in my life.  The people you meet on the train are facinating, being from all over the place and going all over the place.  I've taken cruises, and to be honest, I'd far prefer an Amtrak train over a luxury cruise any day.  On a cruise, you see the ocean, but on a train you see the world, from the plains to the mountains to the desert, it's spectacular.

I have done (only in Europe and just once in NYC so far). For instance, five years ago I travelled by train from London to Slovenia, as a kind of environmental statement. While it was an advantage not to be subject to others' whims, it did get quite lonesome, especially when I encountered other people travelling in groups of friends. During my time in Slovenia I went on a white-water rafting trip where there were two rafts; one had been block-booked by a group of Manchester Uni students so I had to make up numbers on the other, where I was the only female and by far the youngest - one middle-aged man leered at me in my swimsuit. Seeing the Mancunian students only served to remind me of the social life I'd never had at university. And then there was the indignity of always being charged a single-room supplement (of course I could afford it, but it's the principle that grates) and asking for a table for one in restaurants.

For that reason I have been camping a lot in France. I used my car for holidays then. The french Alpes are great.
Now I travel monthly by train to a big city (Paris, Berlin) so I stay in hotels. The price is per room, not per person, but I have to accept it. I think 48 euro per night is acceptable. The alternative would be not go on holiday, or travel in a group and share a room with a total stranger.

I know exactly what you mean. In Paris there are many options to get something to eat. All types of food in self service restaurants so you don´t have to ask for a table. I haven´t been to London recently, but I´m considering it. From what I hear London is very expensive. Is that so?

How did you like NYC? I have been there twice privately and liked the city. For my job I have been to the US and Canada several times. I’m not very fond of going to the US. Overcoming the time difference, flying, the tipping system... And too expensive to go on a monthly basis.

I went hiking last wekeend, and I LOVED it!

Tim

I like hiking, if it is an easy trail.  Or at least if the group waits for me to catch my breath.  I took a hiking class in college (one of my two required credit hours in physical education, bowling was the other, but I did weight training and karate in my senior year just to get credit without working my brain)

I am getting better at biking.  I am invited to join a best friend in Shepherdstown WV for a ride on the adjacent C&O Canal Trail.

I really enjoy camping.  The only complication is the continuous positive air pressure (CPAP) machine for sleep apnea.  Either I need to be within an extension cord of an AC hookup, need to run off a car's lighter socket inverter (convert car's DC 12V battery to AC power), or get one that runs off batteries.  Or I wake up the campground.

I guess I like the hot dogs and smores the best (over the fire).

I've camped several times in Dolly Sods or Monogehelia National Forest (where the West Virginia E. Panhandle connects to the rest of the state, 3 to 4 hours of U.S. 50), and once in Death Valley, when we really had to rough it (Park Service shelter, no toilet, used a latrine, filtered our drinking water, used dehydrated Mountain House meals like chili or beef stroganoff) (first time I was ever in California, and Las Vegas, McCarran is nearest airport)

Fishing is great too!

I usually prefer hiking alone.  People who do not want to chatter  for the duration of the hike are rare.  I like being silent while hiking.

I can be silent if I know the other people don't want to talk. In 10th grade, I went on a hiking camp but it turned into a bit of a debacle because some students who I thought were friends and some of the teachers picked on me. Because of the Asperger's, I misunderstood some instructions and then the other kids gave me a hard time because they thought I should have just known what to do.

Haven't gone on an overseas holiday. I would NOT go to a pub or suchlike on my own - way too dangerous! Also, I would feel really foolish not having anybody to talk to.

In my case being on my own in a bar on holiday wasn't the issue. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.

I've hiked before, and I regularly take long walks. In my experience, walking for a distance gives you something to do, so you feel less awkward about falling into silence, like I tend to do. Currently, despite living in a very walk-friendly island (small, safe), finding people to walk with does not seem easy. The iPod I bought some time ago has proven to be a valuable companion, though it seems my playlist is a bit heavy on the Chopin.

Of course I can only speak for myself, but walking seems to have its benefits on mental state. I must admit the whole socialisation thing is bothering me a bit much at the moment, but it seems that my walking on the seafront seems to act as a relief for solitude, despite being only in the company of strangers. Of course that only takes me as far as my legs can carry me, but that distance can increase with practice and youth.

It depends on the people in the club, I suppose.  I find that when NT people use an organised sporting/activity group as their primary social circle, all of those "who's dating who" issues, and airings of other people's dirty laundry conversations, seep in and I find myself very alienated, but if the group tends to have their primary social circles elsewhere, it's a much more pleasant experience.

I'm involved with a few triathlon training groups in my area.  It's not hiking, but still, specific activity-oriented.  This is a sport in which I am not competetive against others, not being a very competitive person, but enjoy for other reasons.  The people who come together in these groups do not use them as dating circles or their main source of social contact.  There is no talk of Frank's ex showing up at this event and finding him with Jane, or Jennifer having stabbed Michelle in the back on whatever issue.  There is little small talk, and a not much in the way of an established social heirarchy.  If anything, we tend to talk about training, past injuries, current injuries, future events, goals, personal performance, health, etc. - topics I can relate and contribute to without feeling awkward.  

I enjoy being with other people, but I have pretty firm limits on how much constructive socialising I can do.  My limits on unconstructive socializing are even firmer.  I would assume that you have a lot of time to talk during a long hike... That may be the problem.  People ramble to hear themself ramble, about whatever is in the front, back or dusty corner of their mind, because the silence would just be.... awkward.  

A group like that is probably less aspie-friendly, I would think, than a group that does something where you spend time doing activities through which you can't gab to your heart's content.  Ah, and any group with a lot of people who like to stay up all night, drinking and partying, is probably a bad fit for someone who does not enjoy that particular hobby.

Here's the article...

The Holism of Walking
ADELE HOOK REMINDS US THAT WALKING BENEFITS MORE THAN JUST OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH.
With the increasing pressures of 21st-century living, more and more people are being diagnosed with mental health problems, including depression, anxiety and stress. But experts suggest that walking can be a great way to relieve some of these problems and, in many cases, prevent them from occurring in the first place.

Mental illness is growing to epidemic proportions within the UK, with one in four people now suffering from depression at some point of their life. The World Health Organisation has also estimated that depression and depression-related illness will become the greatest source of ill-health by 2020. This is because smoking, over-eating and high alcohol consumption are often coping mechanisms for anxiety, depression and stress.

The majority of studies into depression and exercise have focused on general ways of keeping fit, such as visiting the gym or taking up a team sport. However, some studies are now concentrating on particular activities to determine which are the most beneficial to mental wellbeing.

A study commissioned by the Countryside Recreation Network (CRN) and coordinated by a team at Sheffield Hallam University looked at the effect on a participant's health of ten countryside activities including walking, fishing, mountain-biking and canal boating. The analysis showed that people who took part in such 'green exercise' were less angry, confused, depressed, tired, tense and had higher self-esteem.

Similarly, a study by the University of Essex compared the effects of taking a 30-minute walk in either the countryside or a shopping centre. After the country walk, 71% of participants reported feeling less depressed or tense, while 80% reported an improved sense of self-esteem. In comparison, only 45% experienced a decrease in depression after walking in a shopping centre, while 50% reported feeling more tense and 44% believed that their self-esteem had actually gone down.

The positive effects of this green exercise have been termed 'ecotherapy' and, while this shouldn't be seen as a replacement to conventional forms of medical treatment, there are many biological reasons why getting outside can alleviate mental illnesses.

One of the main positives of exercising outdoors is that sunlight promotes the manufacture of vitamin D in the body. Research has shown that this process can help to alleviate seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a type of winter depression.

SAD is caused by a biochemical imbalance in the hypothalamus due to the shortening of daylight hours and the lack of sunlight in winter. It is though to affect half a million people in the UK, with December, January and February being the worst time for sufferers.

Several studies have shown that the vitamin D when the body is exposed to sunlight has the potential to alleviate SAD, as well as treating the 'winter blues' that so many of us experience at this time of year.

Any form of exercise will also release endomorphins: natural hormones that promote feeling of happiness and wellbeing. These hormones also help the body to relax, setting you up for a good night's sleep and helping to tackle the insomnia that so often occurs with many forms of mental illness.

Added to this is the fact that increasing your exercise rate will tone your body and increase your fitness, generally resulting in improved self-esteem.

But that isn't to say that going outdoors will be a quick fix for any type of mental illness. Getting started can be the hardest part.

Depression often makes sufferers very tired, sapping motivation and willpower. Stress can have a similar effect, whereas panic attacks in an anxiety sufferer can be triggered by wide open spaces.

Walking with a group can also be daunting for anyone suffering from this sort of illness. Diseases of this type are generally linked to feelings of low self-esteem and, in some cases, paranoia. Going out with a large group of people who walk together regularly is unlikely to be an easy thing to do when you're suffering from a mental illness.

The main thing is to go slowly; don't try to undertake anything you're not ready for. Don't rush into a weekend away, or even a Saturday stomp across 12 miles of rolling countryside. You may want to start by taking short walks with a friend or a family member, and then build up to becoming more involved with a Ramblers' group, taking someone along to help you feel more comfortable.

With every form of mental illness, there will be good and bad days. If you've arranged to go out walkin with a group and then you wake up feeling terrible, try not to be too hard on yourself. Just let someone in the group know that you won't be going and promise yourself that you'll try to make it next time.

If you do start to get more involved with a group, it may be advisable to let someone know how you're feeling, especially if you're planning to attend a weekend away. Choose someone you trust and explain to them how the illness may affect you within the group. For example, you may not want to drink any alcohol or you might suffer from insomnia or restless sleep. With one in four people suffering from depression at some point of their lives, it's highly likely that someone in your local group will know how you're feeling and be able to talk the situation through with you.

If you're planning to take up walking to improve your mental health remember to approach slowly and keep your wellbeing as the top priority. Set small goals and be proud of yourself when you've achieved them. In this way you'll soon be enjoying this proven treatment for mental illness and, with any luck, be well on your way to walking back to health.

FYI
If you would like more information on the ways exercise can help with depression and anxiety, visit Mind's website at www.mind.co.uk or the Mental Health Foundation at www.mentalheath.org.uk/.

If you are having any problems mental health issues it's important to speak to your doctor as soon as possible to find the best treatment for your condition.

You can also get help to kick-start a programme of regular walking, get tips and advice from www.getwalking.org.uk or contacting our central office www.ramblers.org.uk.

If I had the choice between a day spent with a group or a day spent alone I would more likely choose the latter. Usually when I am involved in group activity I still feel alone, but uncomfortable, because I'm not alone. It has been suggested to me that, for example, I join an AS group and whilst the idea has it's appeal in theory, in reality I do prefer spending my free time alone or with close relatives. I am never really able to integrate with other people and so I generally avoid it.