Aspies For Freedom

Hi, I am a new user.  Just discovered this forum.  
For 18 years, I was married to someone I now realise probably has AS. He left and filed for divorce, breaking my heart.  I truely loved him, and tried to understand and co-exist peacefully with him.
My problem is that he does not realise his way of interaction can be abusive. I talked with him on the phone today, and it left me totally drained. I simply asked him to forgive me for something, and it turned into a 45-minute long tirade.  I am bleeding inside.
I simply don't know how to make even a post-divorce relationship work with him.  
I want to remain his friend.  HOW?  Dear Lord how???
Daff

Welcome to ya!

Seems like alot of aspies feels easily personally attacked. I have to admit that I have fought alot with people on the net in neverending fights, but I kind of learnt by analysing fights afterwards, especially if I hadn't participated myself (you get easily blinded and don't see your own fails in a fight).

I notice that the fights begin when someone's statement is criticized. The one that feel attacked want to respond, often in an aggressive manner, and then you actually have a fight. So people should somehow learn to think twice when they feel this "urge" to "attack back".

I guess it could be difficult to tell him something like that though without criticizing him in a way he feels uncomfortable.