Aspies For Freedom

Small talk seems to include local news as it applies to the individuals making the conversation. It could include popular culture, sports, or more complicated discoveries in science and medicine, about which none of the participants is expert. It seems to periodically tie back to previous collective knowledge on the same generic topics of which the common man is supposed to have accumulated by simply living in a given environment, and in a given culture. Sometimes everyone runs out of a topic and then things take a turn for the worst as gossip about individuals in the group becomes the subject matter.

I have a small problem with this, you see. Most of these topics are outside of the range of what my brain assimilates naturally, and thus, I find myself giving speeches on various topics while others listen, or vice versa. The best solution appears to be to interact on a more limited basis and be happy for those things that can be shared.

The haughtier side of me, though, knows that I tower above the latest news on Paris Hilton and so, much of the time, I don't care.

I asked my husband who seems to be a master at making people feel comfortable - he can get anyone talking.

He said he asks people about the weather, sports and themselves...  But he also has an expression on his face and gives off body language that he cares about how they answer, so I think that has a lot to do with getting the other person to do the work.

After all, BIG TALK is so much more important.

To be honest, Aspergians are especially prone to this, due to the tendency to repeat/perseverate on thoughts.

Sure, but there are other stories/ideas that Aspies are prone to repeat a lot, for example my uncle (suspected AS) uses his incredibly detailed longterm memory to tell a lot of the same stories over and over again.  All you have to do is mention something that loosely relates to the story, and he's off and running.  "How Aunt Millie met Uncle Ed" is not the kind of story he would tell; his "stories" are more detail-oriented (about the environment he was in at the time, specific objects he remembers, and so on) than narrative-driven.

Really?  I just read a study today that said lack of verbal interaction with others, and/or social isolation, has a negative effect on intelligence.

If that's true, I'm in a lot of trouble.

Humans are social animals but perhaps you have a restricted range of interests that provides for little discussion.

I don't believe that small talk has much to do with intelligence though persons with manipulative personalities will likely perceive a lack of talk to equate with a lack of intellect.

I'm just speaking from my own experience, Batman.

I only know of two diagnosed aspies outside of cyberspace. Me, and one other.

The other aspie perseverates on single thoughts in what appears to be an OCD kind of manner. This is not to say that he is less skilled since this individual has a vocabulary and writing ability that far surpasses my own. It's as if he were raised in some environment outside the U.S.

I will perseverate on single topics, bouncing from first one facet, and then onto the next, often times losing the listener who may not see the connections. I carefully attempt to tone this down for acceptance' sake.

Just some experiences for comparison.

From what I've read in my own AS research (AFF counts for much of it), a lot of Aspies have OCD traits, but how can one tell if it is actually the bonafide OCD going on separately... or just Aspergian traits that look a lot like OCD?

I also have OCD traits, but I know for a fact that my "great comorbid" is ADD.  Once I start adding on OCD and the possibility of BPD-II onto this list (and then some personality disorders), it starts to become very long... to me it makes more sense there is a root cause for these differences (AS), and that they are not all separate disorders working independently of one another.  That doesn't seem right, to me.

Labels are a means to quantify and easily categorise a phenomenom. I stole this sentence from Moulder on the X-files.

I don't know how valid OCD diagnoses are as being a separate condition, although you're right; there is a long list of conditions that are concurrent to AS. They could all be facets of the same condition though not everyone experiences all of the symptoms.

I agree.

Not to seem annoying, but I don't quite understand what you're saying here.  Are you saying the classic OCD might be part of ASCs (autistic spectrum conditions) but without the more obvious social deficiencies that ASCs are known for?

Could you clarify?

Some folks on AFF have stated their opinion that autism is very unique, to which I am inclined to agree, personally.

It's a logical deduction from my post that I might think that if OCD is a facet of AS, then it should stand on its own merits as an autistic condition.

On the other hand OCD could be seen as a symptom, rather than a facet of AS, much like a runny nose is a symptom of a cold, and yet not proof of the condition. In that case it's just a matter of semantics what we call it. Enough symptoms and then you have proof of the condition.

In our case our condition is very personal to our existence rather than something that should be cured.

It was not a logical deduction for me--so, what do you expect me to do about it?  I'm not very bright, you should know.

If I may be my own expert, I find I fit the criteria for both Type 3 and Type 4 distractions, which points toward my idea that I have the "ADD type of Asperger's" going on  

Sorry for my lack of professionalism, Saint!  I still think I know myself better than anyone else does, however.  In that way I do have a right to speculate what condition(s) I have.

I don't think you can. If the person who criticised you for not making small talk didn't explain what you should say, they are the one with a problem. It takes time to learn small talk, lots of time.