Aspies For Freedom

I don't think it's wise to have presuppositions that one group of people is more trustworthy than another, be them men or women, Aspie or NT. I determine trustworthiness on an individual basis.

Since Aspies tend to have trouble lying, I naturally trust them more.

I also chose an aspie woman I think that in my experiences, women can be trusted waymore than men. And a woman with asperger's is the icing on the cake.

It is even hard for me to lie to beggars when they ask if I have change.  Yes, I carry U.S. currency, some in a wallet, some hidden.  I've started giving them a hands shrug just as something to suggest no.

I'd generally trust women over men.
Statistically it seems they are unlikely to commit violent crime.  Most of them don't harass me at all.
Or talk to me much.  Smile, laughter.

The worst I can say is, if my lady friends and/or my friends' wives ever had a problem with something like Asperger or morbid obesity I wish they'd say so and not keep it a secret, saying nothing about a weight prejudice does not make one realize the need to diet and exercise.  

The only woman who bothered tell me that was my mother.  She discriminated against a fat woman on the job (a personal assistant kind of thing).  

Now, what if
1.  the morbid obesity helped keep me underemployed 1996 to 1999?
2.  or has kept me single since 1988 (when the weight started, all you can eat college cafeteria) and now?

I think we learn so many lies about food, junk food.

1.  It'll make all your problems go away, at least until the sugar high wears off
2.  It won't tell you to go away, fatso, nerd
3.  It's remarkably inexpensive
4. and it's legal, it's not even age restricted!
5.  they advertise it on TV and radio.  I remember the George W. Bush/Al Gore Snickers commercial.

Polling booth:
W.  My daddy and I wear the same pants.
G.   Pants?  I invented pants.

Not going anywhere?  Have a Snickers.  (Just be mindful of the 300 people in line behind you.  I try to vote at the crack of dawn, when the polls open)

Granted, men have less politics.  Maybe they are more direct and to the point about insulting you or beating you up.  
That is much less obvious dealing with a woman.
They either do not insult you or insult you in a non obvious way. to say nothing of a diminished risk of physical confrontation.  Certainly more appealing to us male teddy bear types.

I tend to agree. If I were forced to choose, I might say women over men and Aspie over NT, but perhaps there's no reason to consider that any more reliable than random chance.

Depends on what I'm supposed to trust them about.  If I am alone at an ATM machine and a stranger approaches, or if my car breaks and someone pulls over to offer me a ride, I trust a woman, not a man.

If it is about friendships and relationships, I trust a man far more than a woman.  Women have complicated social rules and nonverbal language and can get very mean if you don't manage the right responses.  Women also seem to scheme and manipulate in more sneaky ways and try to steal your man.

Exactly. I've done a lot of family and crisis counseling,  and I've found there is a particular sort of man with whom women must be deceptive and dishonest, just to survive the relationship and protect themselves -- usually until they are able to escape.

There is a much broader array of character types then simply aspie/NT and male/female -- and that complex universe of personality types contains much more important factors in honesty and trustworthiness than male/female or Aspie/NT.

And, again -- I agree. Particularly if one is in a position to be exploited, such as in date rape. But the world is not one huge, monolithic date-rapist. The point would be not to close off the opportunities we want for our selves because we are afraid of consequences that we, in reality, need not fear.

Better safe than sorry, but I've seen a lot of people end up very sorry (and fearful and lonely) because they tried too hard and too constantly to be safe.

Totally agree! What you're describing is much like the difference I see between gay people who are out as opposed to those who are quivering in the closet.  

Yes, there is enough gay-bashing, gay-hating, gay-discrimination and general kill-the-queer mentality in this world to totally justify living a sequestered, fearful life, hiding in the closet, failing to pursue one's dreams, scared to step up to the challenges, and dying alone. IF that's what you want to do. It will be easier, safer and less frightening than being out.  The reasons to hide from life are many and they are powerful.

Coming out means risking rejection, maybe losing your family, being fired or not hired at all, being met with hostility and singled out for abuse, getting beaten or killed.

There are plenty of reasons to let fear run your life. The fears are realistic. When you are gay, you are living in a world that was not meant for you, and which does not want you to be here, and which wants to prevent you from sharing in all the wonderful things the world has to offer (but which are not offered to you!)

But, you know what?  you can hide in a safe little closet all your life and never experience a real, honest, full life -- and still get run over by a bus on your way to the laundromat.

The question is, how much of life did you manage to seize onto and love and experience while you were here?

Wow, very interesting point -- especially when you mentioned "his efforts to be like every one else." That's really crucial.

For all of "us" who are living in "Their World" it appears first and most powerfully that the only way to live here is to be just like them. To pursue the gay analogy, the first stage is to think "I have to be heterosexual in order to live in the Heterosexuals' World."

Your son can't be "just like them" -- he's not supposed to be, not meant to be. It would be a tragedy if that was the expectation he let the world put on him -- and god knows that's what they try to put on us. He's supposed to be like himself. Exactly like himself in every possible way.

My point is that that should not disqualify him from anything and everything in the world that he's capable of being and getting and taking and embracing. Not by being "like them" but by being courageously and uniquely like himself. Not by doing "less than" but by doing "other than." I don't think of it as "stepping back" as much as stepping forward on the (different) path that is the right path for him.

That's good. It's both "who is trustworthy" and "what can I trust myself to see and judge accurately."

Yeah, this makes total sense. This is the Tyranny of Normal. You're either Just Like Us or you're defective. There is damn near nothing in society that says "It's okay to be different."

It may say that on some poster the teacher hangs on the wall in the third grade, but everyone knows it's not how things really are. That message won't come from the big "normal" world. Certainly not in the hallways and playgrounds where the most brutal enforcement of "normal" takes place.  Nor on TV, or in movies, etc. etc...

So if a kid gets the message, it has to be at home -- otherwise he'll be left to discovering it on his own, by whatever devices he's lucky enough to have. And some do, which is just breathtaking to me -- I see kids that have such an incredible sense of themselves in spite of all the *** that has been shoveled their way.