Aspies For Freedom

I am not a supporter of Autism Speaks, however I am bothered by the continual misrepresentation of the mother who said she had considered driving off of the bridge.

She did not state nor did anyone in the organization state that killing one's autistic child was a viable option.  It was one mother sharing her darkest moment.  She was clearly ashamed and remorseful about the moment.  She was certainly not promoting murder or suicide.  She was showing how overwhelmed, stressed, and distraught she had become and what this had done to her ability to reason and her will to go on.

I think she shared this in hopes that others may not have to go to such a dark place.  Or if they already are they can know that they are not alone and that it will pass.

I totally agree with So You Know's post refuting the excusing of this mother's behavior.  I have met people in real life and online (not here) who definitely, really and truly feel this way.  In fact, my sister and her husband fall into this category!!  It is inexcuseable.  Everyone has dark thoughts on various topics.  To say those thoughts aloud, to broadcast them, only does harm.  My niece heard her father say "I wish you had never been born."  That is akin to soul murder, in my book.

With Autistic Pride day coming up, we have an opportunity to publicly refute this BS.  How?  I don't know, it would vary worldwide.  In the USA we are told to contact our representatives in Congress, but that is slooooooow and seems futile to me.  It seems MONEY is always the way to do things, so who in the worldwide autistic community has money?  Not me.  Money buys advertising, and advertising works.  But I don't know how to go about that.  Taking the approach of touting famous autistics who've made significant contributions to art/science always backfires -- it's like, OK, save the "good" ones, and cure the "bad" ones.  Such BS.  We are all of the same fabric, but regardless it is more of a human rights issue.  I agree with the Nazi analogy, that seems to be where we're headed.  

I don't know.  If anyone reading this has money, please buy some advertising.

The thing about such claims is the way they are taken in a certain context. You have an alarmed mother who isn't coping and needs help. SHE needs help, not the child neccessarily. That's the first mistake because the way this is being promoted is that the child needs help and the mother gets what she wants (an NT child),

Now if this sort of thing was used CORRECTLY this would actually be a positive thing. It shows a mother in need of help. So give it to her in the form of education, understanding and so forth. Support if you like. There was a story on an Australian current affairs show, "A Current Affair" which showed a distraught mother clearly not dealing with a violent angry teenager. Again - this was being promoted about the child, when in fact it's the MOTHER that needs help. And she's needed it fo some time because frankly she's made a botch job out of bringing up the boy. From what I could tell, she was interfering in his world and she just kept trying - hence the constant lashing out. Clearly this mother doesn't understand, never did, and made no attempt to really try. Mind you, the state of Australia that she lives in (Queensland) doesn't exactly help!

Not to mention the problem with stereotypes this story brings up!

http://ninemsn.video.msn.com/v/en-au/v.htm?t=m164 and put "Kids out of control" into the search box.

Jewlie I agree with you that the statement should not have been made to the public at large.  

Timelord I completely agree that this mother needs help.  You made some very good points.

I do stick by my original complaint, however.  Sharing a moment of instanity is not the same thing as promoting murder.

What worries me is that there's all of these concerts done by musicians supporting Autism Speaks, its featured on television shows, and because of that...before I even knew about AS, I too thought that autism related to not speaking and being mentally challenged. It wasn't until I did my own research that I discovered how smart autistics really are, and that there is a whole spectrum of different types. I personally blame Autism Speaks for the way people perceive autism.

I disagree..I think Autism Speaks might lead people to think that autistics are more limited than they are, but I don't think it makes anyone come off as evil.  You also have to remember that associating autism with mental retardation isn't incorrect -- it's promoting the belief that mental retardation is universally a part of the condition that is incorrect.  Most autistics do require a lot of government and educational services and they are more limited than the general population in certain respects.  Remember it's called "Autism Speaks" and not "Asperger's Speaks"...I think it would be a good idea that they ran a campaign about Asperger's so the general population understands that autism doesn't necessarily mean that the individual is limited and so the population learns about the benefits autistics can provide to society.

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In response to some of the other comments, I really admire those that were able to be sympathetic for the parents.  While obviously murdering their kids is not any sort of a solution, having the fleeting suicidal/homicidal moment is understandable -- raising an autistic is a struggle few parents consider when deciding to have kids.  I cannot even fathom how depressing it is for a parent to feel like he or she cannot connect with his or her child.  They need support, otherwise they will inadvertently take it out on the child or the child will at least on some level understand that he or she is causing his or her parent stress and depression.  By supporting the parents, the children would benefit too.  It's good for parents to know that they're not in this alone.  Trying to "cure" autism is the problem I have with Autism Speaks -- they should focus more on educating and  providing resources for families instead.

i apologize..i should have said aspies/HFAs

People tend to think of Autism as a disease just because they don't understand it well enough, basically it's the default.  The problem is that Autism Speaks exists to "spread awareness" which essentially means that they are trying to educate the public to better understand Autism.  This isn't a bad idea in theory, but with the extreme bias they use, that's where the problems come in.  They would have everybody believe that Autism is a tragic, debilitating disease that no good could possibly come from, and the public eats it up.  It's a pretty well known fact that Autistic people are often very creative and skilled at certain areas, yet every time someone with Asperger's paints a picture it ends up on the front page of the paper saying "mentally challenged person overcomes the odds and heroically paints a portrait" like it's completely unheard of.

Autism Speaks seems to like to ignore both those with Asperger's, as well as any Autistic adult as though everyone with Autism dies at 16.  I once had someone who claims to be a talk radio host and a huge Autism advocate say to me "Yea, you say you have the so called *** Burgers, but stop pretending that you have Autism, if you did, you wouldn't be able to type so well".  If that's what the big time Autism Advocates think, and this one aparently hosts a talk radio show, so I doubt she's the only one who feels that way.

They don't completely ignore it outright, they just tend to have a fairly strong bias against it.  It's not that they seem to be against those who do well with Autism, it seems more that they're trying to work in the benefit of those who aren't doing so well.  The thing is that they want to get people interested, and if they say that Autism just affects people in different ways, that doesn't sound as interesting as saying it's a tragic disease with no cure.  The only way they can really present the latter is by pushing us who do well with Autism out of the spotlight.

Basically it works like this:
1) Get people's attention
2) Scare them by making them think that Autism is worse than cancer
3) Act as if they are the only people interested in helping those with Autism
4) Tell them they can help by donating money
5) Use the money to keep the cycle going, as well as to pay for Allison Singer's new car every time she gets one of her "ideas"

If only they would donate money to help us fit into this crazy NT world! Get us education and communication help and give us a bit of good publicity... We could really be an asset to the world, if only they'd let us.

Autism Speaks isn't, of course, about autistics; it's about parents of autistic children.  I wish all those parents would send their unwanted autistic babies to live with me.  I would take care of them and accept them for who they are.  It's child abuse, what these people are doing.  Making war on their child's brain?  I just feel sorry for those kids who have to grow up like this.

I don't know Cedar Point, Sandusky, but I did go to King's Island in Ohio in the summer of 1996.  I was in Huntington WV after finishing a Master's at Marshall U.  I was working for the university in the research and economic development center primarily on domestic violence related research, but it did not last.  

So I went computer programming in 1999 and I've been working in it ever since.

It is strange, Bardwolf, I almost never melt down, the last incident at perhaps 10 years ago.  I also very seldom lose my cool.  I usually react with more sadness.

I wish I could do that but sadness and anger seem to get mixed up in my mind and so do fear and anger so much as I would like never to have another meltdown in my life, I'm not sure it will be that simple.

I get ya Pakrat. D: I worry about my fiance, he knows how bad my meltdowns can be