I had my share of it growing up, and even in my early adulthood. It takes a severe toll on your self-esteem and can rob you of the confidence you'll need in adulthood. I once heard of something called "cognitive reframing", which might help. I am at a loss for a concise description, so I'll just say... Google it!
I've certainly got mine. Not as vibrant as when I was eight, but it's still there in my mind. Your own little world, IMHO, is like anything else that needs to be enjoyed in moderation, not necessarily bad but there is such thing as excess.
If she can practice doing it silently or in a very light whisper, that would be good. (So as not to draw attention.)
Bravo on not wanting to change her.
You might want to invest in a decent digital voice recorder for her to record lectures, one with a USB port so she can save the audio files on the computer and replay the lectures however many times as necessary to fill in the gaps in her lecture notes.
Don't worry about it. There are lots of us who feel unsure whether or not we belong here, including those of us who don't have an official dx but seriously think we might have AS (and yet, worried we might actually be NT, just silly by NT standards). As far as I'm concerned, the more parents here talking directly to aspies of all ages, the better.
i talk in the shower aswell.
and shower for about 50 minutes.
hmm
i got verbally and physically abused because i did not "get" things.
but i mean no one knew i had aspergers so its not that strange.
from their point of view i was a **** who needed a beating or verbal assault to learn
I think you'll find the people who are saying that, Batman, are reflecting on NT attitudes (that it's a bad thing). We know it's all we have - as you rightly pointed out. I certainly lament the fact that NT's who have no idea treat our special interests as "hobbies" as an example. And not only that they disrespect our need for our own world when the real one gets too much for us - as it invariably does at times.
If we can establish the "need" factor in the same way as blind people need guide dogs or those special sticks they have we'd be a lot better off. That's why I use the blind as an analogy whenever anyone tries to talk me away from my special interests;
"Taking that away from me would be like making a blind person cross a busy street without any help at all"
It's the same thing. You know it and I know it - and I think all AS members here know it as well.
Absolutely true. Most people constantly think about themselves or their situation and the single biggest mistake we make imo is projecting our thoughts upon others- i.e., every slight had SOMETHING to do with US, when really the person might not have gotten enough sleep the night before, had a fight with his wife that day, etc., etc. I try now to not see every response as somehow a reflection of me. After 54 years I really want to escape from my inherent great sensitivity for once (Pisces + red hair (I am literally thin skinned)+ a spiritual nature = a human sponge where others are concerned). My biggest gripe about people is how selfish most of them are, how touchy. In the US you can't say jacksh&&t about anything, however minor, without offending somebody. It's exhausting walking on tiptoe all the time! Women are even worse than men I've found, but I digress.
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Does anyone else see something ironic about the two statements in bold print, when compared to each other?
Ellen you're saying you're very sensitive to what others say and often think it has something to do with you, which seems both Aspie-like and also "sensitive-person" material. I don't see why sensitivity or misinterpretation of what someone says (Aspies may often think they're being slighted, because of nonverbal problems) is selfish.
But then you also complain about people being touchy and reactive to small things... do you realize you just said that very same thing about yourself, being reactive and sensitive?
I'm lost, either that, or you have to revise your statement and explain to me why "sensitivity" is selfish.
If you're an Aspie in 90% of cases there's an anxiety thing going on, or at least "extra-sensitivity"... so you tell me... why am I suddenly supposed to think I'm selfish, in your opinion, for being reactive and sensitive?
I think you'll find the people who are saying that, Batman, are reflecting on NT attitudes (that it's a bad thing). We know it's all we have - as you rightly pointed out. I certainly lament the fact that NT's who have no idea treat our special interests as "hobbies" as an example. And not only that they disrespect our need for our own world when the real one gets too much for us - as it invariably does at times.
If we can establish the "need" factor in the same way as blind people need guide dogs or those special sticks they have we'd be a lot better off. That's why I use the blind as an analogy whenever anyone tries to talk me away from my special interests;
"Taking that away from me would be like making a blind person cross a busy street without any help at all"
It's the same thing. You know it and I know it - and I think all AS members here know it as well.
The analogy is fine, but I don't really like the "disability" overtones in there. I find that offensive, to be honest.
Comparatively, there's also some NTs who have very passionate interests, who'd have a lot of problems if they couldn't keep using their interests as an outlet for expression, etc.
It's a similar kind of thing to AS (along a parallel line), although of course in this case it's likely that NTs with passionate interests are going to have better social skills, and so on. But still, some of these folks (artists especially) would be lost without their special interests.
Most of them are probably Quirky NTs (eccentric individuals, but they still have theory of mind/social intuition intact) or folks with self-esteem problems for one reason or other. And you'll probably find a ton or artists who experienced childhood abuse/trauma, etc.
Anyone can have poor self-esteem (AS or NT), even people who seem to be very confident can, hence addiction problems among people who have more social skills than one could ever ask for.
That's what I meant in the first place, and please don't "talk down to me" like that.
That's what I meant in the first place, and please don't "talk down to me" like that.
I'm sorry, Batman - it just looked like you were widening the definition. I certainly wasn't intending to "talk down" to you. I was only trying to help.
Are you calling my personal and general life experience a lie, Simen? If so then you are calling me a liar. Like I said, if you don't believe me - your problem. It's PLENTY of evidence.
You lose. I've met plenty, and know of the majority through them. I suppose you'd call those I met liars as well, hmmm?
I try to learn about life as much as I can within the confines of being an Aspie. Why don't you try it sometime?