"Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce, it's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says no to drugs and yes to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them, and what they don't realize is - they have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle." From Bruce Almighty.
"plastics" (the graduate)
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
"We thought you was a toad!"
"Well, ain't this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere."
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."
"I'm not a concept. I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for her own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."
Corpse Bride
"And in other news...THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!"
Big Fish
"A lot of things you consider evil or wicked are simply lonely and lacking in social niceties."
Stretching the question a little:
" I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass. I'm all out of gum."
--They Live!, which is a mediocre movie overall but has a couple of hilarious moments
From Futurama (TV show):
"You're better than normal, you're ab normal."
" Jam a bastard in it, you crap!"
"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!", shouted in Morbo-esque voice with the relevant device/concept in place of "windmills"
"Okay, I'm insane. At least I'm still sane enough to know it."
"I feel like I just got mauled by Jesus."
Benny & Joon quotes:
"When a boat runs ashore, the sea has spoken," Mrs. Smail.
"It's a shame about raisins," Sam.
"I think I need a beer," Benny.
"She paints, she reads, she lights things on fire," Benny.
Joon: You're out of your tree
Sam: It's not my tree
Joon: Did you have to go to school for that?
Sam: No no I got thrown out of school for that
Joon: Really?
Sam: Yeah
This is from Happy Gilmore:
bad guy "I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!"
gilmore "you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!?!?"
bad guy "er....NO!"
"Are you talkin to me?"
Robert De Nero in "Taxi Driver", talking to himself in the mirror, practicing his 'hard man' persona.
Any quote from Red Dwarf movies, Jay and silent Bob movies, Deadwood or Sopranos.
But there is one very distasteful quote I love (from SuperTroopers) I always use it if I enter any premise where my hetrosexual mates are alone together:
"It stinks like sex in here"
From that same movie I also like
Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had.
Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now.
Mac: Smothered me in gravy you big dirty man.
OK I will stop there. LOL. More of an insight into my mind than you probably wanted. Honesty or not. LOL
I can quote many lines from Red Dwarf as well as any Monty Python movie.
"Try not. Do or do not, there is no try"(Yoda)
Shrek the Third:
"Don't you want something different?"
"That's all very well for you to say. You're not some evil talking tree."
Simpson's Movie
"How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling??!"~Marge
"SPIDER PIG! SPIDER PIG! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER PIG DOES!...."~Homer
"Lisa...you're a women...you can hold it in forever"~Marge
*deep breath* "ok"~Lisa
"Do you re
member where you parked the car?" (
Death Becomes Her)
"I don't trust anyone." (
Alien)
"I can't lie to you about your chances, but...you have my sympathies." (
Alien)
"My name is Homer. H, o, m, e, r. Mispronounce it and I wouldn't wanna be you!" (
Near Dark)
"But I don't
want to get married!" (
Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Hey! Those creeps ripped off our stuff!" (
Scavenger Hunt, an old 1980s TV movie so bad you can't help laughing)
Pulp Fiction
Jules Winnfield: I'm a mushroom cloud layin' mothaf@#$a, motha@#$a!
Yes, Schwa. A very good scene.
Some more of my other personal favourites:
From "Shakespeare in love": "That woman is a woman!"
From "Willow":
- I am the father of two children, and you never ever give a baby blackroot.
- Well my mother raised us on blackroot. Puts hairs on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?
- Her name isn't Sticks. She's Elora Denam, the future empress of Tiras Lee, and the last thing she's going to want is a hairy chest!
Shrek 2: "Hey Boss, let's shave him."
Also... Not a movie quote, but I was channel surfing the other day and came across this one from "Only Fools and Horses"
(Two characters discussing sport. Rodney is distracted)
Girl: "Which do you prefer?"
Rodney: "Mm?"
Girl: "Which do you prefer, grass or astroturf?"
Rodney: "I dunno. I've never smoked astroturf."
Blade Runner
Gaff to Deckard "it's too bad she won't live, but then again who does?"