I do not believe in self-diagnosis any more than I believe in self-cancer-surgery.
You're a good man.
I was officially diagnosed when I was thirteen, still I think many people have alot of use of a self diagnosis to cope with challanges without meeting the consequences of a official dx.
I think you do have alot of traits of aspieness. A thing called stim, often refered to as "repetive behavior" in articles about autism, is a thing that could replace self-harm.
Can't really see anything bad with a self diagnosis except that it isn't formal.
Basically, there was a pattern of instability that she was only sometimes aware of, in which there was a hollow inward feeling of self that was compensated by having too many relationships. The alcoholism also started at a very young age.
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We're all human, and so to some degree, we can all relate inwardly to multiple diagnoses. Sometimes I wonder if having the media of the internet doesn't do more harm than good. On one hand it could create more awareness, on the other, it seems that young people should have better things to worry about.
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This sounds like my sister.
About the rest, I couldn't be sure. I wish you the best of luck in finding a self help category.
However, if finding this diagnosis is for denial of BPD, then take heed that BPD is a real diagnosis that others really can see and in which doctors really can help. Don't talk yourself into non-treatment
I think that's very good, sensoble advice - there's nothing to say you can't have BOTH AS and BPD, but regardless of the label if there are certain signs of BPD that could endanger someone's life, these signs need treating because Borderline can easily lead to long-term damage or even death if it is allowed to spiral out of control 
I'm not disputing the BPD diagnosis
I don't think anyone said you were, it was just advice/cautioning against the temptation of doing so.
but it was made by a psych who had just looked over my medical records and diagnosed me after meeting me for an hour.
That does make it essential that you do at least question the diagnosis, though. While you can't "cure" AS, it is none the less possible to cure co-morbid issues that result from your own confusion and trauma from growing up undiagnosed.
I've also recently been diagnosed with severe OCD, something I was totally not aware of. I knew I always had an odd way of thinking about things but I thought it was just me.
That does seem... strange. With OCD the whole point is that you suffer these huge compulsions, which you perceive as coming "from outside of you" (i.e. it doesn't feel like "I really want to do this" but "I need to do this or else..."). It seems off that they would diagnose this in someone who isn't even aware of such compulsions!
That does make it essential that you do at least question the diagnosis, though. While you can't "cure" AS, it is none the less possible to cure co-morbid issues that result from your own confusion and trauma from growing up undiagnosed.
What I meant to say was that you should at least question the BPD diagnosis and try to figure out whether what you experience as BPD is linked with your experiences growing up, and HOW it is linked. Sometimes learning to understand yourself after a diagnosis of AS can resolve issues you thought were a whole other "label" by themselves.
You made the same assumpton as me!
Not assumption, that's been the common distinction between OCD and say obsessive personality or AS for ages...
When I was told I had OCD, I was like, surely I'd notice? The handwashing and counting letters OCD was obvious to me since ages. But I have unwanted thoughts that pop into my head, sometimes upsetting but mostly just annoying. For instance..If I'm talking to my boss and he's trying to explain something to me, I'll get a thought like 'imagine what would happen now if I kissed him?' and I'll be so busy trying to get this mortifying thought out of my head I lost track of what he's saying. These are called Pure-O thoughts.
Ah yes that sort of thing, compulsive and intrusive thoughts about "negative things" or ones that have negative implications (e.g. the "what would happen if I kissed...") and suchlike. That's sort of what I meant because you experience it as "not originating from you/not being your will or thoughts".
Sorry, it didn't come out right, though I do think plenty of people accept their doctors' word like zombies.
True. I used to think I was very trusting of what Doctors say but then when I think about it I hadn't really accepted my ASD diagnosis until I
really felt I understood enough about it to know it is true.
I just meant that if the professional were very thorough and competent, fragglerock would not have been left with so many questions, and resort to us for an opinion (not that there's anything wrong with that, but ideally she should be able to discuss it with the practitioner). Also: since there are at least 3 people in her life who think she has AS traits, yet the practitioner didn't even broach the subject, this makes me consider that s/he must not be entirely competent or observant.
To be honest though, you cannot expect a practicioner of adult psychiatry to know enough about autism to pick out milder cases in an adult. Even for specialists in ASDs who have seen hundreds of cases this is not always as easy as you may think.
Especially with the deluge of articles and increased popularisation in the media of AS, it's VERY easy for a layperson to start believing every slightly ASD-ish trait in the people around them mean that "So-and-so must have AS, oh and that kid in so-and-so's class is surely Aspie too" and so on.
PS: I meant to put "I agree" before "To be honest though" above.
Also by popularisation I meant that it's becoming more popular for the media to write about AS and to ascribe AS to people who would never in a million years be diagnosed with it if seen by a competent specialist. (Including people where psychopathy or sociopathy would be a more apt fit)
What is NLD?
Is it Nonverbal Learning Disorder?
Yes, NLD and NLVD are acronyms for Nonverbal Learning Disorder 
Then why did nonverbal communication develop? It almost seems counterintuitive to me.
Is this a case of women choosing charismatic men as mates, over time, and that's where this damn annoying prevalence of nonverbal communication arises from?
Erm... do you think animals talk to each other or what? How do you think our ancestors and other animals communicated before verbal language developed?
Well I know all that. But I was speaking from the perspective of one who is quite puzzled by a lot of nonverbal communication.
Oh I do understand that. I think you made the false assumption a lot of Aspies make, e.g. that nonverbal communication is somehow something that NTs do deliberately and that they can switch on or off on command. They can't - you can learn to read it and analyse it but it all happens subconsciously.
And no you didn't come across as an idiot.
If it happens subconsciously then it means that we mustn't give off the same non verbal signals as NTs:
Do you mean mustn't as in "I suspect we do not"? Yes that seems to be the case from what I've read. It's hard to tell just from observing people of course
I still think I come across NTs who are "more nonverbal" than others, though.
Sure thing, some people are naturally more or less expressive or more or less able to read others' body language. Some an fake it (actors) and some repress it (shy, timid) or are depressed and lose emotional expressiveness. In Schizophrenia this is also one of the things that you lose when it first kicks in, and it usually doesn't come back (that's why residual Schizophrenia can sometimes look a bit like AS).