Aspies For Freedom

Well, this Diagnosis Forum seems to be the place for new members to introduce themselves.  

I am a typical case of some one who knew he was different but not knowing why.  It was in 11th grade Health class when we learned about mental disorders that I started thinking about what was wrong with me.  Naturally, there was no mention of AS/Autism in the outdated text book.  It was also about this time that I entered a decade-long state of deprivation in which I called myself a Loser (among other depressing words) almost every day.  I was convinced of being a Loser since I had no friends, no girlfriend, no ambition or ability to enjoy NT functions - bars, clubs, dances, parties.  Sometimes I appreciated Loserness as a positive difference since I knew I was smarter than most other classmates, but the resulting loneliness usually got the better of me.

A few years ago, I renewed my search for my mental disorder and came across AS.  It seemed to fit, but I wasn't sure.  I didn't give it much thought.

Then a few months ago, I finally decided to start thinking about getting me a girlfriend.  I asked a certain girl whom I had known proessionally for several years.  She was flattered but said she already had a boyfriend.  I was absolutely devastated.  The details of my devastation would bring tears to your eyes.  I finally pulled myself together after 45 hours when I reallized I had a lot of issues to resolve before seeking out a girlfriend.  

It was then that I really started to research AS.  I was amazed at the great plethora of AS information on the internet - so many Wikipedia articles,  forums, information websites, books, movie films, real-life support groups, an AS dating site?! - all there waiting to feed my brain!  I reallized that there was nothing wrong with me in the first place.  I was just different.  Despite the occasional bout of depression, I no longer call myself a Loser or any other depressing insults.  I finally feel free to be me.  

So here I am, joining Aspies For Freedom.  I will post some questions and I would like to share information and experiences in the appropriate forums and threads later.  I have been eyeing this website for quite some time and finally decided to join after watching Mozart and the Whale for the 4th time last night.  This time I paid attention to the movie's interesting details and continuity errors.  Next time I watch it, I'll try to simultaneously Google Earth the shooting locations in Spokane, WA.  I normally don't obscess over movies like this, but I've never before owned a DVD so relavent to my life.

Welcome, Tonic, nice to meet you!  I too spent years feeling, not so much like a loser, but like a "late bloomer" who just needed to find the right motivation, lose weight, make herself over, and then forge ahead (however belatedly) to the perfect conventional career and love life.   I am so much happier now that I no longer feel I have to make excuses for myself, or push myself to be someone I am not!  I've been at this site for a year and have learned so much, I hope you will enjoy it here as much as I do.   

You are definitely not a loser. You arrived here. Feel free!

No-one here is a loser. We are just people who have a different view of the world that can at times be difficult to deal with because those views are felt by the 'mainstream' to need correcting. They don't! They just need to be understood and managed. Nearly everyone here has been friendly towards me. I think this is a good place to seek assurance and opinion.

Cool.
Thanks for the welcoming words.

I would like to add that over the past several months, since I discovered true Aspiness, I have been exercising - primarily to build up my scrawny arms and flat chest.  And I gotta say, what you hear about exercise is absolutely true - that it builds self confidence.  I never believed it would happen until I had genuine motivation to start working out.  In general, I finally feel like my life is starting to come together.

It's often a tough situation to be intellectually above your classmates but to suffer from detachment in a way in which you measure yourself against your environment.

In mho your insight seems to be rather good. I think that everyone in the PDD spectrum has these issues, though it is best to handle them slowly, in your own way.

I haven't seen the movie and will have to locate it.

G'day mate welcome aboard.

Welcome...

Pleased to 'meet' you Tonic.

welcome to the board, Tonic. =)

You are not a loser, you're an electrical engineer with a different way of sensing the world around you.  To call it a disability or you a loser is a value judgment.

Professionally I am a Master's in sociology, and would have loved to have done more research, but my job search in Washington, DC eventually led to a career change to computer programming, strongly motivated by the State of Maryland.

There is no greater motivation than to have a state pay for your community college certificate because it has a vote of no confidence in your graduate degree.  Naturally I did lash out at the faculty from undergrad.  One of the two has forgiven me, but I don't think the other understands autistic spectrum.  He certainly did not understand loneliness or depression as a secondary response to Asperger.

When I think of losers I think of people whose careers are not simply going bad, but of people who would rather beg off their friends and go on welfare than move on.

Not that I didn't hate giving up public policy and evaluation research.  But at least I get to pay the bills with something I happen to like.

Let me clarify.  I had a meltdown in semesters five and six when I was an undergrad in sociology.  Yes, it had something to do with trying to date a woman.  But I did survive it.  First I overcame the incapacitation.  Then as a Christian I overcame the anger.  Finally, after she married, she explained things, that she was coerced into rejecting me.

The professor did not understand depression or loneliness.  All he could understand is that I lost a 3.6+ GPA.

I still graduated with a sufficient GPA to do grad school, didn't I?

I should suggest a forum/forums to discuss

1.  Friends or strangers begging for your money.
2.  Improper pressure sales tactics.

That's a good idea, GuessWho. I think there would be a number of us with concerns about those issues. Where I go to wait for the bus in the afternoon, some people ask for money at times. They know people have money because they have to have bus fare. The police say they are not to ask for money but sometimes they do because they want to go to the pub and have more drinks.

I also wonder what to do when family ask for money quite often.

Sales people are taught to use pressure but some are certainly worse than others. I know it might seem rude but saying "No" and continuing to say "No" is the best way to handle it when sales people phone you. It's harder when you express an interest in something in a shop and then they really push you to buy, and that's where we need some strategies to cope.

Wow!  12 replies in 2 days... Well, make that 11 replies, not counting my own.  I was only expecting about 3 or 4 by now.  I hope I can handle it.

Welcome to the forums, Tonic.

Get used to it and settle in, for you are among like minded individuals here. ^^