Drats... yet another Thread that I just must address!
Humanely speaking, my humaneness towards humans is an example of how humane I can be; Must I become one?
Seriously, this human feels very alone among Humanity, well, at least until I jump onto AFF or WP, where there is quite a "serious-playpen" full humanoids seemingly just like myself, where I feel, not alone...
And hey! It is inhumane for you all to keep me up so late...
Mush be time for bed, I hear aardvarks barking outside...
This human needs some sleep...
Regards, Beammeup
I've always felt different from other people, and I could never really understand why. Maybe it has to do with being gay, being an aspie, or just being eccentric, or some combination of those. I don't know.
Before I found out about AS I felt that I was some kind of cosmic mistake.
I've never really felt human. I've never really been able to understand humans, so I've always felt I can't be human myself (if I was, I'd understand them!). Even when I was a small child I always suspected that I didn't belong in this reality.
There are some days where I want to be socially active and feel very cocky and make witty jokes. I take the dog for a walk and feel like "Yeah, I can do this stuff. I won't be put down." Then question if that is AS or not. But in the end, that whole day is still spent not going out somewhere and is just myself thinking it. For example today I opted out of going to a paid concert that is tomorrow (bought the ticket a month ago) because I didn't want to go early to get a spot and because I saw the venue and didn't like how close to each other the people are. I then proceeded to say I didn't want to go to graduation either because it would make me feel uncomfortable being around those people again.
But there are many days where I don't think about it and feel like an average kid. I want to hang out with friends and say "yeah, I'll go to graduation and show them" I used to draw attention to myself, but all in all, when you take down the facts, my friendships have mainly failed. When you look at the days I say "I want to be super social and go out today" and I talk to a friend on the phone...there is just a lot of awkward silence. So really, I guess I could feel that way all I want and say "Do I have AS? Because today I am cutting the lawn all cocky and stuff." But at the same time I'm thinking "I hope people aren't watching me do it."
Normal people is shallow, simple, unpredictable and driven by strange urges that makes no sense.
Shallow? That's grossly oversimplified -- it's almost like when a NT calls an autistic person selfish.
Simple? How so? Complex emotions? Complex thought?
Unpredictable? If NTs were unpredictable then Aspies wouldn't be identified as different. It's the fact that aspies' lines of conduct do not follow the patterns that NTs do that make them be classified as different, "eccentric," etc.
Driven by strange urges that make no sense? Come on, now -- just because it's not obvious to you doesn't mean that it's senseless.
Are you ever going to understand how a NT works fully? Probably not; imagination only goes so far. But that doesn't mean that you cannot understand them at all. If you don't feel like taking the time to understand, that's your choice and certainly your right, but don't make judgments out of ignorance. I'm not attacking you, so please don't take offense to any of this. I knew (or at least knew of) the autistic teen I've been mentoring long before I began mentoring him and before I knew he was autistic or what autism was, I assumed he was crazy. He definitely did not deserve that label, but, out of ignorance, my friends and I believed it was appropriate. I am no more deserving of those labels than my (now) friend deserved to be labeled crazy.
I feel different, but I don't feel any less human. In fact, since I spend so much of my spare time studying animal psychology, I've come to realize that most humans behave think and act exactly like the rest of the higher mammals do, and for the same reasons. I can't understand why some people insist that humans are so "different" from other animals (perhaps they just never studied them closely).
If you haven't read it yet, you might enjoy reading Temple Grandin's book "Animals in Translation"
In my completely unscientific opinion, I believe NTs and ASers have different primary drives.
I believe the primary NT drive is EGO - that is, to save face, appear as #1, to be well liked, minimize conflict, and above all, serve the PERSONAL NEEDS of their self. They will unconsciously do what it takes to maintain and increase their social status, even if it means logically being irrational or directly contradicting one's self. Being emotionally inconsistent does not bother an NT, because their reaction always feels congruent to their EGO SELF.
ASers, on the other hand, have a strong drive toward LOGIC - they want things to make sense, be clear, and above all, be consistent with the HIGHER TRUTH of universal logic. It makes them very "honest" in a way that makes them reaction to NT ego games as "manipulative", "dishonest", and "senseless". They will unconsciously do what it takes to maintain logical TRUTH, even if it means violating certain "social faux pas" like correcting others, being blunt, or expression one's true opinion. Being logically inconsistent bothers an ASer, because - as human beings - their emotions do not always rigidly follow congruently with UNIVERSAL TRUTH.
I respect your opinion but I do not agree with it. You bring an interesting subject 
.
I think for both NTs and Aspies the ego drives the behaviour, only in different ways.
You say NTs minimise conflict. Have you noticed all wars?
You write NTs strive to increase social status. There exist NTs who don't care.
Not all Aspies have the same strong drive towards logic, there are creative Aspies too.
I am developing a bit of an ego so I disagree, but I don't care about the newest clothes or anything. I like what looks good, whether it be $10 or $50. If it looks good I wear it.
Its only lately that I have a cocky sort of ego, but I'm still nice. In fact, I'd say its more of a "male testosterone posture" type of thing going on. For example lifting weights, acting tough, saying I know how to do certain things, and winning arguments wittily.
b) Social status is certainly important to ASers - ............. .............. but I doubt it would be a primary motivation. Am I wrong about this?
You are right.
Since autism is considered a developmental disorder, it makes sense to me that something in this period might get delayed or modified compared to NT development. Perhaps ASers discover "less" in this period about the boundaries of the world between "me" and "them", and grow up with a concept that is still integrated like the infant's world - hence my comment, "child-like".
To others (especially in early childhood), an ASer might appear more self-absorbed, but it is actually because to the AS perspective, there is less distinction between "me" and "everything else".
................. ...............
This is likely not true, even though a so-called "enlightened" being would probably appear more AS-like than NT.
You wrote "AS is like the pre-state of enlightenment". That's the understanding I was looking for in the thread "what is autism". The link between autism/AS and enlightenment. Great!
I recently spent several years getting into Eastern philosophy, studying meditation in India.
Did you visit the Osho International Meditation Resort in Pune?
I'm more like a dog. In fact, my best friend thought the matter over and pronounced me a border collie.
I'm more like a dog. In fact, my best friend thought the matter over and pronounced me a border collie.
Have you read Grandin's Animals in Translation?
Yes. After joking for years about me mentally being more like a dog (I had 23 of them at one point), I did read that book. Just finished it a couple weeks ago. What did you think of it?
I'm more like a dog. In fact, my best friend thought the matter over and pronounced me a border collie.
Have you read Grandin's Animals in Translation?
Yes. After joking for years about me mentally being more like a dog (I had 23 of them at one point), I did read that book. Just finished it a couple weeks ago. What did you think of it?
I thought it was really fascinating. At first I thought it was going to be a little demoralizing for autistics (since she's saying they're "on the way station between animals and humans" (or something like that)), but it turned out to effectively present the autistic mind as a difference (i.e., something different, not something worse), providing both the benefits and disadvantages compared to the NT mind. It really helped me understand the autistic perspective a lot better. The teen I've been mentoring reminded me of my dog sometimes (his reactions and emotions and obviously NOT his intelligence,etc.) but I always had felt guilty for even thinking that. Now I know seeing some similarities between him and my dog isn't mean/wrong: in fact, by understanding certain aspects of my dog, I understand certain aspects of him better and visa versa
I don't feel very human, I feel more like a reptile
Did you see the pictures of that guy who had his body surgically modified so he'd look more like a lizard?
I always felt that I was an animal (some sort of cat species) trapped in a human body.