Aspies For Freedom

I took some of the tests:
The Geek Syndrome: 25 (those with AS score 25 or higher)
Autism Spectrum Quotient - MSNBC Newsweek test: 35 (very high-most with AS or HFA score about 35)
Asperger's Quiz: Aspie score - 149 of 200, nourotypical score - 52 of 200, You are very likely an Aspie


Let me try to sum this up as briefly and concisely as possible starting with a brief bio. I'm 25, I've been married about 4 years. I was homeschooled up to college (17), went to a private liberal arts college for three years, now trying to work and have finished a bachelor's degree online.

I happily call myself a nerd or geek or nerdling or whatever, and never had a problem with this. I know I'm a bit of a social outcast, and I've just planned my life accordingly. I don't go out much, I don't expect to have many friends. I keep my diet simple. I also shop long and hard for clothes soft enough that I can wear until they fall apart. I don't really consider this a problem. Some of it is difficult, but it only really gets difficult in odd situations.

I am very sensitive to loud noises, bright lights, bad fabric, bad smells, and certain metals. I have seasonal allergies, and have been diagnosed with migraines, though I'm not sure how much I believe the doctor.

One of the problems I'm having is, right now I'm unemployed and looking for work. What kind of job should I be looking for? How to I make a career work? I haven't had good luck with jobs so far, and I don't know the right way to look. Reading articles on monster.com about how to get that job just doesn't work for me. I can't stand lying for whatever reason. That is part of why three of my jobs didn't work out for me.

Also, every family type gathering is stressful. They are so stressful that I am sick for a week afterwards.

I can't cook and am not good at taking care of myself. This is where my loving husband comes in and helps make sure I eat when I'm supposed to and tells me when I'm getting too stressed out and so on.

In preschool (I actually went to preschool) there were notes sent to my parents about me not playing with the other children. After the first semester of Kindergarten, my parents took me and some siblings out of school to home-school us. The reason had something to do with educational integrity. I did attend a private school for one year at age 13 (9th grade). There was a group of other home-schoolers that we did things with sometimes, and I didn't get along with them-- but that could have been because they were a clique before I came along.

The big thing I wonder is- what makes AS clinical in level? I seem to be doing fine, I've learned that when someone crosses their arms they mean to be aggressive (which is quite annoying because I find crossing my arms very comfortable). I've learned enough to seem okay. I can't really take care of myself, but I'm not being asked to either. I don't have many friends, but I'm not looking to be part of a big social clique. Other's don't seem to understand me, but I don't understand them so I don't see how it matters.

I suppose I have two basic questions:
- What makes AS clinical in nature? (ie. how 'dehibilitating' do the symptoms have to be in order to consider that it is AS not just AS tendencies)
- Is it possible that my 'impairment' is much greater than it looks like to me because I really don't know any better?

I'm really sorry about double posting. After reading this later I realized I completely didn't get my point across. Hopefully viewers will read this instead of the above post.

I don't understand some of the questions on the test or criteria because I don't understand what is supposed to be 'normal'. I haven't had any 'normal' friends, every one has been a bit geeky to some extent. I haven't seen anyone be able to 'read between the lines' in a conversation; I've seen people who thought they could but usually failed miserably. I don't know if anyone makes friends easily, or likes small talk. So I'm wondering if this lack of understanding of 'normal' could be a result of being homeschooled.

I was hoping someone could explain what the 'normal' level of competence in small talk, reading between the lines, and making friends really is. It would be great if I could also get what these things are like for an Aspie.

Even the homeschooled culture has its conformities.  I'd say you are an aspie.  

I struggled to be "normal" when I was younger.  I know just know that I can not change who I am.  

You can learn some conversational skills and practice them.  

You can learn about some common deceptions and behaviours that people will use on you but you will never learn to "read between the lines totally" if you lack theory of mind.  

There is no reason why any aspie can not have a few friends, but better a few really good friends than many bad acquaintances.   Most of friendship is about the level of trust you share with another person.  

I don't hold to the myth that homeschooled children are not socialized properly.  Peer pressure in teen society really does more harm than good.

I appreciate the response.

I really don't know what the difference is in homeschooled vs. public educated children. I never really got the feeling that I was missing out on anything, but a lot of the other homeschooled kids did. After discussing school with friends in college, I'm glad I didn't go to a traditional school. The one year I did attend a school I had no end of trouble with authority figures that I didn't respect. From my friends that were lucky enough to avoid bullying, it sounded like school was just a lot of boredom.

Do you know ways to go about refining conversational skills? I've looked up etiquette and try to do the things that make people know you awknowledge them, but in certain situations I just freeze up and don't know what to say. Usually this happens when I'm being thanked or criticised for something by someone I'm not familiar with.