Aspies For Freedom

As I may have mentioned before my boss has recently begun to question my performance and at work; More specifically he's questioned my consistency. (I make lots of minor mistakes but little difficulty with the harder stuff).

Of course, I know what the problem is…its my attention. I very easily distracted, especially if the task I'm performing isn't something I'm naturally interested in.  

In response to him comments, over the last two weeks I've endeavoured to modify my behaviour:-

I've made a deliberate effort not to be distracted (drawing my mind back to my work each time it's drawn away).
I've drank large amounts of coffee to help my attention.
I've gone to bed early (to ensure I'm not tired).    
I've listened to instructions carefully to avoid mistakes.

And what's been the result? I've become a gibbering wreck.

I've had terrible headaches (so bad I've felt sick).
I've started feeling anxious and scared of everything and everyone.
I feel unbelievably tired:- even when I've had a full night's sleep.
I've started feeling depressed.
And even thought about suicide:-not in a serious way; but the fact that it crossed my mind is worrying.

I've decided the price of normality is too high.

What do you think?

Sorry noticed a few spelling/grammar mistakes in my post...please disregard…hope it still makes sense.

Sounds a bit like me, I think I used too much of my energy at the start of the school year after the spring and now things goes in some kind of evil circle where I'm always tired regardless of how much I sleep.

I'd guess you should have a rythm you could endure and not put too much effort into the daily chores. Maybe try to have a daily schedule that doesn't change much but is basically quite flexible? I myself try to find a solution to my currently neverending exhaustion, I don't "feel" that I need a daily schedule but maybe that would actually improve things anyway.

Quickduck, I am guessing the increased caffeine intake is behind a lot of the trouble you are having now.  It could explain the headaches and would certainly explain the nervousness.  Also, even if you think you are getting a full night's sleep, maybe you are not sleeping as deeply as you need to because of the caffeine.  And I find that going to bed unusually early leaves me tired too, because I simply can't sleep a lot of hours at a time, so I end up awake around 2 a.m., staying awake for 2 or 3 hours, then finally falling back asleep for an hour or so and waking up exhausted.  And I feel emotionally more "fragile," more pessimistic and even teary, when I have had a couple of nights in a row of poor sleep.  It might be best to return (gradually) to the sleep schedule you had before, and cut back on the coffee.  I hope you will feel better soon.        

Fair point...increased caffeine intake could be responsible for my headaches and AhhhH, WHO'S THaT? nervousness. I may have DRANK!!! too-ooo much (sorry..h-h-hand shaking lol).

Only joking…actually I'm on a pretty even keel today.

Given up on the self-enforced efficiency…prefer to be incompetent yet 'sane'.

Ahh chamomile tea…thanks…I could do with a cupa.
I may add a spoon of honey…?

I think I'll continue in my attempts to go to bed early. I must admit I quite often don't; Instead I'll get distracted into watching a late night film, only to realise half way through that the film's not that good and I should have been in bed hours before.

Quickduck, I think you're paying far too great a cost for being "normal".

The problem could be the system you are using to do your work.  I don't know what type of work you are doing:  clerical, manual, inspection etc.  I find drawing up a flowchart and flowing steps in logical fashion helpful.  You should include steps to inspect your work for mistakes.  If you are using forms to fill in information about your work, they should include ranges for answers or pick lists.  

For example:  I used to calculate batch sheets for mixing chemical formulations from master sheets  (this could be done by computer but the office took ages to set it up).  The dye had to be added in grams and I would often write the figure in kg as the rest of the ingredients.  The compounder would always catch this and make a joke about it.  But some people might misunderstand and actually add 100 times the dye resulting in disaster.  So the solution would be to make up another sheet to fill in and add a separate section for dyes and have grams written on it already.  

So fix the job to suit you.  

If you can describe your problem in detail, most likely some people will come up with ways for you to do your job more efficiently.  Drinking more coffee does not help.

It's a nice thought, but maybe not very practically to put so much effort (and risk) in that?

Being on the computer is my downfall. I stay up too late some nights and then having trouble getting up in the morning. It's addictive all right. I also find I'm not much of a morning person even if I get to bed early and need a cup of coffee to wake myself up.

Usually once you're having more than 3 cups of coffee a day, you start to get symptoms like jitters and feeling anxious and "antsy".

I have a friend who runs a business and her employees minor mistakes drive her nuts. They really can and do add up on some things, in her case to considerable $ loss.

How minor is minor?  Is this the type of thing that can add up to cause serious problem or cost or are they truly minor in nature and impact and therefore easily overlooked.


If they might cause a problem in your work if continued I think M's suggestion is great. I know hrick always makes out better when something difficult is reduced to familiar structure/ habit.  It becomes an automatic response then and just gets done in the normal flow of things whether you are currently at full attention or not. Sometimes one's automatic response mode is far more efficient than their attentional one.   Mom

I think another issue is where the same kind of mistake is overlooked in people the boss likes and not in the others. The thing to also remember is nobody is perfect and there will always be some mistakes made. The important thing is to learn from them and make work systems highly foolproof.