I know there are people who will not approve, but if a child wants to play the hitting game, we play. None of my children has wanted to play the hitting game since toddlerhood. The first time a child hit me I responded, "Oh, you want to play the hitting game. OK. Now it's my turn." And I hit them back, in a non-damaging way -- arm, leg, whatever -- just enough for them to feel the sting of it. Of course they did not like it. Then I'd say, "Now it is your turn again, then it will be my turn again. Let's play." It is interesting how quickly they decide that the hitting game is not fun.
Hmm, that makes sense. The only other thing I can think of if kids want to hit (and provided you have quick reflexes) is do "blocks" on their hits so that they are hitting the hard part of your arm. That would hurt their hand more than it would hurt your arm and would most likely put them off doing it. I don't know how you could block kicks though unless you put the kid in a wrestling hold and leaned on them a bit.
^^ Funny, that's just about what I was thinking of our newest character... searching the 12 posts was interesting... could be genuine... only time will tell.
I let them stay up as late as they want. The mom is like "i want them to go to bed at 9 oclock on the weekend" and thats just ridiculously early. So I let them stay up and when we hear the garage door open we RUN!!!!!!!!! to the bedrooms and pretend to go to sleep. This is a good strategy to become friends with the kids, when you're their friends they listen to you. This doesn't appliy to real parents, just baby sitters.
{sarah makes mental note not to have soccerfreak over to babysit.}
uhh... my kids go to bed at 7:30, 8:30 is a late night. But, in my defense, my oldest one wakes up at 6:30am (depending on the season and time changes, can be as early as 5am). She's been like that since birth!
{Sarah realizes that since her nights out are few and far between the kids wouldn't be all that badly harmed...}
no no no! Didn't say bad! Sorry, I was in a joking mood last night.
I'm sure your a great babysitter... I'm admittedly strict about my kids' sleep schedules, I learned early that its super important to my kids. Actually, a friend was over at my house a few days ago and my 3YO was super cranky because she had missed her nap. My friend said, "now I know why you're so crazy about naptime"
All's well, I just couldn't let that comment pass.
I know there are people who will not approve, but if a child wants to play the hitting game, we play. None of my children has wanted to play the hitting game since toddlerhood. The first time a child hit me I responded, "Oh, you want to play the hitting game. OK. Now it's my turn." And I hit them back, in a non-damaging way -- arm, leg, whatever -- just enough for them to feel the sting of it. Of course they did not like it. Then I'd say, "Now it is your turn again, then it will be my turn again. Let's play." It is interesting how quickly they decide that the hitting game is not fun.
I'm one of those people who do not approve. Surely there are ways to deal with violent children, aside from reacting in violence back towards them. Ever heard of the saying "Do as I say, not as I do?" You hitting them, makes them feel they are justified in hitting you in the first place.
Um, I didn't tell them to not hit. I simply let them know that once they start the hitting game, the person they hit also gets a turn. This is how the real world works -- tit for tat.
They also might not realize it hurts, they're children! If you say "Ow that hurts mommy!" maybe pretend to cry, they'll understand. Or put them in time out, some way that doesn't involve you physically assaulting the child. How would you like it if someone who looked like a giant, hit you?
You have a strange notion of "physical assault." You do it your way when you have kids of your own. Perhaps your children will have a natural compassion that is lacking in most 2-year-olds.
Uh oh I smell a flame war << Someone grab the kevlar <<
@Soccer_Freak(Chris) You sound like a really cool babysitter. :3 As someone who has done a lot of child-watching and preschool, I must add that being their friend isn't always helpful. You need to draw the line between Friend and Caregiver, once the 'rents are out of the house, they are your responsiblity. Being their "friend" isn't helpful when you're trying to disapline a child. And when mean disalpine, don't mean it as being mean or tryrantical. But it's sounds you have interesting strategy when it comes to that issue. Though holdingchild upside down might be dangerous IMO. But I do like the Distraction idea alot, Time outs work too, I've also notice that limiting privileges also works. But I am rambling again ^^' I am the kinda of babysitter that would do the whole "goop" thing and bring a plastic volcano also bring cool documenties like "Walking with Dinasaurs" or "Atlantis" or any of the "Naked Science" docs too. Some kids like cool educational stuff. Or I bring my CDs and let them "Autograph" my sketch book. I also tell stories, or rather I make them up..and tell them with lots of acting "voices" the kids get a kick out of those. My youngest sister loved the "Young Gray" stories. (still rambling)
as for the hitting I would have to disagree with Griz I am sorry but that only going to snowball when the kid is around 5 or so. I use to rough house when I was younger. I like the going to bed earlier stratgey :3
Same, same, Bardwolf. When you've got your own kids, you'll do as you see fit. I try to keep it real. The children make choices and there are corresponding consequences. If they choose to hit, the real world consequence is that the person they hit will feel entitled to hit them back. The hitting game. It is their choice whether to initiate this game. "Oh, do you still want to play the hitting game?" I asked as he drew back his little hand. I hold up my two fingers, "I really don't like this game, but I love you, so if you really want to play I'll play, too. You go first. I never start this game." He thinks about it for a minute and then toddles away.
You foresee a snowball effect, and I have three children who stopped hitting pretty quickly. If some one hits them they will hit back, but they don't start it. One only wanted to play once, one twice, and one went for a third round. And that was that. I think you all have the notion that I really popped these kids. Never happened, never will. Two finger smack on the arm. That is all it takes for a toddler to "get it." And I think it is important to "get it" when they are very young. The bigger they are the more of a problem hitting will be. I couldn't imagine dealing with this behavior from a 60 pound, more cognitively mature kid. Oh, by the way, none of my kids remembers playing the hitting game -- guess they are not scarred for life.
And so. Ain't gonna be no flame war, luv. I don't play that game either. I am comfortable and confident in this parenting decision and quite comfortable with other people making other decisions for their families. There is no one single correct way to raise a child and good parents come in all varieties. I did not think this way before having children, so I understand how very confident a person who has not raised children (yes, more than one) can be about proper child rearing. I am not offended.
I am not saying what your doing is wrong..just curious to know what would happen if older child strikes you out of anger..I know I hit my mother whenever she cusses at me when I was younger
I know there are people who will not approve, but if a child wants to play the hitting game, we play. None of my children has wanted to play the hitting game since toddlerhood. The first time a child hit me I responded, "Oh, you want to play the hitting game. OK. Now it's my turn." And I hit them back, in a non-damaging way -- arm, leg, whatever -- just enough for them to feel the sting of it. Of course they did not like it. Then I'd say, "Now it is your turn again, then it will be my turn again. Let's play." It is interesting how quickly they decide that the hitting game is not fun.
I'm one of those people who do not approve. Surely there are ways to deal with violent children, aside from reacting in violence back towards them. Ever heard of the saying "Do as I say, not as I do?" You hitting them, makes them feel they are justified in hitting you in the first place.
Um, I didn't tell them to not hit. I simply let them know that once they start the hitting game, the person they hit also gets a turn. This is how the real world works -- tit for tat.
They also might not realize it hurts, they're children! If you say "Ow that hurts mommy!" maybe pretend to cry, they'll understand. Or put them in time out, some way that doesn't involve you physically assaulting the child. How would you like it if someone who looked like a giant, hit you?
You have a strange notion of "physical assault." You do it your way when you have kids of your own. Perhaps your children will have a natural compassion that is lacking in most 2-year-olds.
Surely what little compassion they might have at that age, could be beaten out of them with a little spanking. You want to raise bullies?
How many children do you have, Yoshi? I have three. None are bullies, quite the opposite. Get a life and stop trolling. Peace.
Bullies are often the kids who've been let run riot.
Ah yes, since I don't have children I must know nothing about raising them. Surely there isn't any point into gaining insight from a child who was hit when they were younger, and how it trumatized them. No, who would care about gaining insight into what damage it will wreak on their children.
Compliance in response to fear, doesn't mean a child has learned anything, except how to behave to avoid the fear stimulus. How about talking to them instead, and explaining things to them. Oh but then they're only 2 year olds, they surely have no brains, and certainly aren't deserving of basic respect right?
I have thought carefully about this response and whether it is even merited. The malicious, coercive, punitive type of hitting that you want to talk about is not at all what I described. I believe this "misunderstanding" is probably intentional so that you can make whatever point you feel you need to make. For the record -- I am not the person(s) you are angry about. Perhaps you could make your point without slandering me.
Based on personal experiences, as well as conversations with other parents, I do not think a person who has no children really understands a thing about raising them. I understand that you "believe" that you know what is best for everyone, and that your "theories" are too impeccably logical to be suspect. Like you, I had all of the answers before I had children; parenthood quickly deflated all of those little egotisms. (And a person with only one child is almost as bad as a person with no children since they can sustain the belief that all children respond in essentially the same ways.)
You do not know me, Yoshi, and assume much. I do not know what you have experienced that you call abuse, but I was a child often hit in ways that left marks. I do not care to discuss this further. Suffice it to say that I absolutely agree that the type of hitting you describe is not productive at all.
Most bullies are kids who've been overindulged.
What an ambiguous title for a thread
1. Being bullied by two kids
a. at once, two against one
b. in separate conflicts one against one
2. Receiving romantic attention from two young males
3. Having two children out of control hitting their parent
Something I hear a bit about aspie kids is that they're having an "aspie moment" when they hit, break property, or yell and throw themselves around. It's almost as if it's something "cute". You can be dead certain that other people in society won't see it that way when they are teenagers or older.
I know they can't always help it but for their own sakes in society, they can't be allowed to think it is "cute" to do these things or if there is a special rule for them that means that they can't even be expected to improve this behaviour.