Aspies For Freedom

I am AS offical DX I am going to be a father come september with my girlfriend who is normal but has mood disorders.  Any advice?

Congrats! Enjoy every moment and don't stess over the little things. I wouldn't swap it for the world.

And if your work is too stressful and you won't have enough time beeing at home you can chat with your kids somewhere, or the official wrongplanet chat channel. Of course when they are very very small they won't be able to chat, but at some age they might be able to. The webcams might also be the future.

Learn to love sleeplessness.

Congrats ! Be there. Every day.

One hint: I got overloaded in the delivery room after about one hour . Maybe it's better to wait outside or elsewhere?

djkane, be aware that if Mom has mood disorders, the pregnancy (and post partum period) may be pretty stressful. Be as present for her as you can -- and when the baby comes, realize that you may have to be the level, constant, stable one for the baby.

and... CONGRATULATIONS!!

Is this the first for both of you?

My little sister, born when I was eleven, taught me that having a baby in the house is distressing and wonderful at the same time.

Be prepared for lots of sensory stuff: Smell of diaper pail and baby lotion; sound of baby crying; sound of rattly or squeaky baby toys. Also be prepared for the kid to throw off schedule and organization; and to get a lot less sleep because you will wake up whenever the baby does. For the smells, it helps to chew strong gum like mint or cinnamon.

Beyond that, it really is wonderful to get to know a small human being. They develop so quickly; it seems they are learning a new thing every day. I loved to read to my little sister; even when she was very young she would quiet at the sound of a human voice, as though entranced. Another thing that's great to do with a baby is touch: My little sis loved to have her back rubbed. Also, when I could get away with it (because Mom thought it was horribly dangerous) I used to swing her up in the air... you have to wait till they can support their heads for that though. Also, you have to check out a newborn's reflexes--they are just amazing. My little sis used to grab my finger in her hand so tightly that my fingertip turned blue!

Baby: Big change, a lot of wonderful things, a few very annoying ones that are eventually worth it.

Voodoo Dummy - 'My favorite phrase for the "I hate you" ploy is "That's fine, because I love you enough for the both of us."' - LOL that's EXACTLY the phrase I use too!

My DH and I have four sons and a daughter aged from 14 to 26, and two grandsons,both aged 5. Yes, there are moments, but overall it has been such a wonderful experience that I would willingly do it all again.

BTW so many of us in our immediate and extended families are on the spectrum that we are the normal ones!

Yeah, it annoys me when they have those ads that make out it is only mums who look after the kids and I'm a woman!

The main advice I can give is to encourage your girlfriend to breastfeed if at all possible. It is healthy for the baby and saves on having to get up and make bottles. With a first baby, it can take a few days for the milk to come in properly though.

I'm an old hand at breastfeeding too - if you need any help or advice just post it here and I'm sure that more than one of us can help you out

I want to be a father in the next 10 years - my biological clock is starting to tick!!

Yes: Get married.

'ey Pierre!

Can you please tell why that is a good choice?

So that the baby will be born to a married couple, and not to "a boyfriend and a girlfriend" (two most silly words).

Jean-Pierre, they might not want to get married and that is their perfect right. Also, it would be too much stress trying to plan a wedding and having a new baby. I don't think there is anything wrong with "boyfriend" and "girlfriend", but I find the word "hubby" rather aggravating.