Aspies For Freedom

theres a girl in my classes that sit in front of me and says i'm staring when she sits decertly infront of me(across that is).she also says some thing strange all the time....'eww' this or 'eww' that. even says it when a say i think her earings look nice or her hair loks cool. i have a curousity to ask her why she says it all the time.what do you think? should i?

Yeah, I'd agree with couldbecousin. There were quite a few people who behaved like that towards me at school, just because I was 'weird' and for them to be seen talking to the 'weird kid' would have ruined their popularity. Just accept that she is a narrow minded, shallow idiot and stop trying to interact with her, she really isn't worth the effort. I'm sure there are plenty of much nicer people at your school who are more than happy to talk to you, and who can hold interesting and intelligent conversations that don't involve saying 'eww'.


Sorry if this isn't the advice you were hoping for.

She sounds a nasty piece of work but dont be surprised if its only in school she is like that or at least in front of her friends or to try and impress lads/play hard to get.

I wouldn't bother going after her, she doesn't seem a nice person.

As a girl myself I have had lots of contact with diva queen b's like that. OUtsider girls get the nastiness too, just in different forms. (god save me from gym locker-room memories please) Just let her be. Trust me.

Unless of course you are into pain. Some people are. Sounds like she will give you a very large spoonful of pain every time you may try to interact with her.

Why set up a painfilled experience for yourself? The world is cold enough and cruel enough without setting yourself up for adose of hurt.  Maybe try and find people who make you feel better when you are around them rather than snarky little snots?

Good luck and hang in there.

thanks for the help. i dont like her much.

Yeah, best to ignore her as much as you can. Is there any way either she or you could be shifted to a different position in the classroom? There must be some more positive girls in the class who would like to be complimented.

Some NT girls (the ones at the top of the social ladder who don't have the self-confidence that such a position usually requires) tend to be afraid of associating with people society has deemed to be outcasts in some way or another. Chances are you're a bit unpopular (I'm assuming this because Aspies often are); so she fears for her social status when you interact with her. Thus, the socially appropriate reaction to the thought of a relationship with an outcast: "Ewww". Basically, she's afraid of being embarassed, being seen with the wrong people. It's kind of sad, if you think about it.

If she's lucky, as she matures she'll learn that, if she's confident enough, if she obviously believes in herself, she doesn't have to push anybody down to stay on top. Not every popular NT makes it to that point, but those who do tend to be the sort that just about everyone likes and looks up to, rather than simply fears.

notin that class most hate me.

she's not necessarily a bad person...giving random compliments can be very creepy, hence the "eww."

but she says it not just to me and not just at comments at anything and every thing like( this room is  hot says one( eww says she)

i say what i think. if i think something looks nice i say so.

Hi,

I'd like to lend my thoughts here too if you don't mind, being an NT girl (well I used to be one, now I'm a mom who happens to also have a wonderful son on the spectrum...) I think you got some great advice here already and I really agree w/ Callista...

I knew plenty of girls like that in school, I would just ignore her, and if you enjoy something she is wearing etc...you can still enjoy it but you don't have to tell her so...its seems strange I know that someone would react this way....and it is sad....but at the age that I think you're talking about, pre to late teens???....its unfortunately pretty common.

I want you to know it has nothing to do with you personally...she has no clue of who or how you are, its just all about appearances and popularity at those ages....and its not fun for anyone who's not in the "circle"....but it doesn't last forever, I mean I think I have seen one person that I knew in highschool in the past 20 years....still not easy, but this too shall pass as my mom always said...

What's funny is if you met her when she was say in her late thirties or something and gave her a nice complement like, I like your earings....she'd most likely be flattered.

And I have to also say that I get caught up people watching....I mean no harm by it but someones walk, or clothing will catch my eye, I just learn to divert my eyes before they catch me, people get weirded out when you are starring at them, or even looking...they feel vulnerable and don't know what it is your seeing, are you judging them...etc....wierd but true...

well good luck and thanks for letting me in!
Ali

We don't like her, either.

And something I can tell you from being immersed in high school culture for many, many centuries: popularity is a social game. It doesn't necessarily reflect any actual affection or respect for the "popular" kids. Many "popular" kids are almost universally disliked -- more so than the "unpopular" kids.

In a great movie about high school popularity, "Heathers," the main character is a very popular girl who only associates with her very popular peers. She comes to realize what a shallow, repulsive game it is, and what total bitches her "friends" are. "I feel like being popular is my job, " she says, "and my friends are just the people I work with."

SHE asked what  i was doing. i said thinking. She want to know a bout what. said how interesting her earings looked.