04-24-2007, 12:43 AM
So I'm getting a little paranoid about whether or not my daughter has AS. So much so that I now find it necessary to write to you, my fellow aspies, so you can tell me to either stop obsessing about it or move to the next step (whatever that would be). Also, I do realize that she has a few years before she could really be DXed anyway... but what the heck.
So a little background... I'm an aspie, if you don't already know. I must be more NT then some, because I do manage to have a few friends, but I always feel somewhat dettached. Anyway. My daughter was always very smart. She was always way ahead on most of the talking/mental sides of the development chart, and the physical for that matter. At 18 months she could count to 30 and knew her ABCs as well as the words to every song to any of the songs on the kids music CDs we had. By 2 and a half she knew all of the jingles on TV, even the jeopardy song (though none of us watched the show). Before she turned three she was really friendly and would talk to just about anyone, very smiley, that sort of thing. But she has always needed her down time, I guess everyone does.
The trouble has been this last year at school. She just seems to be having trouble. She's still very friendly, but her efforts at making friends seem to just bounce off of people. She takes it all very seriously, and when someone is even slightly negative she's broken hearted for weeks. Her only "real" friend once told her "I don't want to be your friend anymore." which is usual kid stuff, albeit mean. It took all weekend to convince her that her friend didn't mean it at all and will still be her friend come Monday.
Just last week another student told her, "you eat frogs" and she burst into tears. Even after the teacher explained it was a joke and that the proper resonse was, "you eat worms" or something similar, she didn't get it. Later the same friend tried again with "you eat frogs" and she almost hit him... making her cry again, even harder since she's really not a violent kid at all. The problem for me seems that she didn't understand the game. After I explained it to her as a game and played a few rounds, she seemed to get it. She's also had trouble at the playground trying to play with other kids that were there as a group and didn't tell her not to play, but kept ditching her instead. Since they didn't say, "I don't want to play with you." she kept thinking they were playing and never caught the hint. (Afraid of watching a train wreck I soon found a reason to leave.)
After school she doesn't want to do much of anything and acts out if I try to take her to the store. She never did well with stores, but running errands after school is just too much. By the time we get to the end of the checkout line she looks like the static ball from science class (a lot of energy contained in one small object). So we'll go the park, where she doesn't really play with kids, or gets picked up by an older kid who plays with her. More often than not we'll go home after school and she'll play in her room and try to ignore her little sister. I try to let her have as much down time as usual, but the little sis just wants her big sis's love.
No matter what we do, it seems that by 5PM she's ready to explode. Everything becomes a disaster complete with tantrum and tearworks. She just can't seem to handle all that life is throwing at her. Sometimes on these episodes, I send her to her room (so she can calm down alone) and find her asleep on her bed a few minutes later.
She also "zones out" alot. I know I do this a lot to, its apparently my way of stimming, or at least letting my brain catch up to what's going on. Today we went to the park. When it was time to go she went to say goodbye to someone she had been playing with (wow, she actually had made a little friend!) but by the time she made it to her friend, she stopped, and looked at her shadow (not really at it, more like towards it) then she started moving her fingers (not flapping, more like pulling her fingers back one by one in a somewhat repetetive manner) I often have to repeat myself, even when right in front of her or when we're talking about something that really interests her.
Oh yea, special interest. She has a "handsome prince" (imaginary friend) who is Peter Pan. She's obsessed with the story Peter Pan, and has been since the first preview for the Disney movie started popping up back in November. She's always telling me something about him and their many adventures. She lives for it. We bought the live-action one a few weeks ago and she's been watching it almost every day since. This evening she started watching it before dinner (as a way of fending off the 5PM monster...) and when dinner was finished dear hubby turned it off and sent her to the table. TANTRUM. Admittedly, she really needs the whole 10-5-2-1 minute warning thing to get her from one task to another, but I don't think that reaction was really quite "normal". She loves talking about it and talks about it with everyone. Most people find it cute, I know I do.
She has wanted to read for about a year now. When she was three she started asking me to teach her. Despite my best efforts, she would get horribly frusterated and gives up before she has the chance to make progress. She knows all the letters and sounds now at almost five but still can't seem to read much of anything, not even the same word she read the day before. She also gets really mad because she can't write very well (another mother mistook her handwriting for a much younger child) She really has trouble with all fine and gross motor skills. She looks like she's trying to manage brain surgery while cutting and other fine motor skills. In her dance class she's always falling down and can't manage the balance beam they do at the end of class at all. Those are making hubby think she has vision problems, but at her 4 year checkup she passed very well- once I convinced the guy to use the letters rather than the symbols.
She's also afraid of just about anything. All animals (she once tried to jump out of a dogs way by running into the street) anything with a mask or costume, anyplace new or different than normal, really just about anything that someone could even slightly be afraid of and she's petrified.
She also has trouble adjusting to new situations or changes/trasitions. Luckily, since I have the same trouble I am always on the lookout for changes on the horizon and let my kids know so they can prepare.
At a recent trip downtown (we live in a very small city, downtown is trite, imo) we stopped into a cutsie-retro store. It was lined with all kinds of stuff every kid wants to touch, and touch she did. But after she got past the first four items, she was lost. she went from one table to another picking up different toys, not looking at them, setting them down, picking the same toy up three times... Then she got to the back of the store and frantically started saying, "we need to go out now." And started covering her ears. So we left and walked to the car (we were on our way their anyway) but she was grumpy the rest of the day. I have reactions to that kind of sensory overload that way too, so it stood out.
Alright, that's awfully long. sorry... any help? Feel free to tell me I'm off my rocker and paranoid...
So a little background... I'm an aspie, if you don't already know. I must be more NT then some, because I do manage to have a few friends, but I always feel somewhat dettached. Anyway. My daughter was always very smart. She was always way ahead on most of the talking/mental sides of the development chart, and the physical for that matter. At 18 months she could count to 30 and knew her ABCs as well as the words to every song to any of the songs on the kids music CDs we had. By 2 and a half she knew all of the jingles on TV, even the jeopardy song (though none of us watched the show). Before she turned three she was really friendly and would talk to just about anyone, very smiley, that sort of thing. But she has always needed her down time, I guess everyone does.
The trouble has been this last year at school. She just seems to be having trouble. She's still very friendly, but her efforts at making friends seem to just bounce off of people. She takes it all very seriously, and when someone is even slightly negative she's broken hearted for weeks. Her only "real" friend once told her "I don't want to be your friend anymore." which is usual kid stuff, albeit mean. It took all weekend to convince her that her friend didn't mean it at all and will still be her friend come Monday.
Just last week another student told her, "you eat frogs" and she burst into tears. Even after the teacher explained it was a joke and that the proper resonse was, "you eat worms" or something similar, she didn't get it. Later the same friend tried again with "you eat frogs" and she almost hit him... making her cry again, even harder since she's really not a violent kid at all. The problem for me seems that she didn't understand the game. After I explained it to her as a game and played a few rounds, she seemed to get it. She's also had trouble at the playground trying to play with other kids that were there as a group and didn't tell her not to play, but kept ditching her instead. Since they didn't say, "I don't want to play with you." she kept thinking they were playing and never caught the hint. (Afraid of watching a train wreck I soon found a reason to leave.)
After school she doesn't want to do much of anything and acts out if I try to take her to the store. She never did well with stores, but running errands after school is just too much. By the time we get to the end of the checkout line she looks like the static ball from science class (a lot of energy contained in one small object). So we'll go the park, where she doesn't really play with kids, or gets picked up by an older kid who plays with her. More often than not we'll go home after school and she'll play in her room and try to ignore her little sister. I try to let her have as much down time as usual, but the little sis just wants her big sis's love.
No matter what we do, it seems that by 5PM she's ready to explode. Everything becomes a disaster complete with tantrum and tearworks. She just can't seem to handle all that life is throwing at her. Sometimes on these episodes, I send her to her room (so she can calm down alone) and find her asleep on her bed a few minutes later.
She also "zones out" alot. I know I do this a lot to, its apparently my way of stimming, or at least letting my brain catch up to what's going on. Today we went to the park. When it was time to go she went to say goodbye to someone she had been playing with (wow, she actually had made a little friend!) but by the time she made it to her friend, she stopped, and looked at her shadow (not really at it, more like towards it) then she started moving her fingers (not flapping, more like pulling her fingers back one by one in a somewhat repetetive manner) I often have to repeat myself, even when right in front of her or when we're talking about something that really interests her.
Oh yea, special interest. She has a "handsome prince" (imaginary friend) who is Peter Pan. She's obsessed with the story Peter Pan, and has been since the first preview for the Disney movie started popping up back in November. She's always telling me something about him and their many adventures. She lives for it. We bought the live-action one a few weeks ago and she's been watching it almost every day since. This evening she started watching it before dinner (as a way of fending off the 5PM monster...) and when dinner was finished dear hubby turned it off and sent her to the table. TANTRUM. Admittedly, she really needs the whole 10-5-2-1 minute warning thing to get her from one task to another, but I don't think that reaction was really quite "normal". She loves talking about it and talks about it with everyone. Most people find it cute, I know I do.
She has wanted to read for about a year now. When she was three she started asking me to teach her. Despite my best efforts, she would get horribly frusterated and gives up before she has the chance to make progress. She knows all the letters and sounds now at almost five but still can't seem to read much of anything, not even the same word she read the day before. She also gets really mad because she can't write very well (another mother mistook her handwriting for a much younger child) She really has trouble with all fine and gross motor skills. She looks like she's trying to manage brain surgery while cutting and other fine motor skills. In her dance class she's always falling down and can't manage the balance beam they do at the end of class at all. Those are making hubby think she has vision problems, but at her 4 year checkup she passed very well- once I convinced the guy to use the letters rather than the symbols.
She's also afraid of just about anything. All animals (she once tried to jump out of a dogs way by running into the street) anything with a mask or costume, anyplace new or different than normal, really just about anything that someone could even slightly be afraid of and she's petrified.
She also has trouble adjusting to new situations or changes/trasitions. Luckily, since I have the same trouble I am always on the lookout for changes on the horizon and let my kids know so they can prepare.
At a recent trip downtown (we live in a very small city, downtown is trite, imo) we stopped into a cutsie-retro store. It was lined with all kinds of stuff every kid wants to touch, and touch she did. But after she got past the first four items, she was lost. she went from one table to another picking up different toys, not looking at them, setting them down, picking the same toy up three times... Then she got to the back of the store and frantically started saying, "we need to go out now." And started covering her ears. So we left and walked to the car (we were on our way their anyway) but she was grumpy the rest of the day. I have reactions to that kind of sensory overload that way too, so it stood out.
Alright, that's awfully long. sorry... any help? Feel free to tell me I'm off my rocker and paranoid...