Aspies For Freedom - Angry attitude to adults on the spectrum

PS I offered to have a brain scan done but my psychiatrist laughed and said I have too many aspie traits to warrant that.. plus I am a happy person! I just need MORE VACATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WooHOO!!!! I can go for that diagnosis and medicine! Smile

Yetti Wrote:

silky Wrote:

Yetti, thank you for your reply. All I had heard in forum until now was that people who no longer have parents can't get a Dx.

My apologies to you other folks for the momentary hijack. We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread Smile

They are WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!��We simply answer the questions the parent would answer about ourselves.. we are adults by now don't you know!!?��My mother was so fearful of insanity in the family she would never take me to a therapist... or lie about things...LOL...��What makes them think some parents would answer the questions.. .My doctor first gave me the workbook bout children and autism written by a friend of his.. the book was mentioned on this board.. I answered the questions about myself truthfully from when I was a child... I do remember my childhood Smile

also how I am now.. My husband knows me like a book!��Far more than my mother!

Asperger's is so new most people don't really know what to do outside their relm of experience.. and if its a mom tellling you this.. I would take it with a grain of salt...��I am having issues with some parents way of dealing with their aspie children from what I have been reading.��My God if my mother raised me the way , some are.. I would have been either not married, overprotected, making paper dolls in a state home , or piercing every part of my body or drinking or on drugs.... I think some need to step back and let us recently diagnosed folks help.... I wish Bill Gates would step forward more on the issue and others.. but many are successful without diagnosis and don't care to waste their time if they are happy or have everything they need... Others probably were raised by dysfunctional parents and have many other emotional learned and anger challenges from their upbringing that are far more destructive to their lives.... or some are homeless... and keep company with flies.

I have thought about the Aspie rages and meltdowns.... which lead to my family wanting me to get therapy....

When I was younger , I was an athlete.. yes some aspies do learn... I started at a young age to be physcially fit... I found an avenue during those days for my rages in sports.. I put all my rage energy into the game.... Tennis the tennis ball..... Volleyball...the volleyball.. swiming getting to the end first.... So I never really had rages.. I dirverted them into heavy athleticism which was a constructive avenue for my rage energy..as I got older and my sports were limited due to health issues... My rages showed up on their own .. often alone or other times I would hide or just start up.. My family was not the target but had to witness them.... it was hard on them , but they knew I was in pain and it was not directed at them.... the pain for them was not knowing what it was or what to do.. .same for me... until now we have a face and name for it... Knowledge is power.. I suggest for all adults with the slightest thoought they may have aspergers to get diagnosed... It helps to know what this is and how I can handle it constructively..

I am going back to the gym.... working out... and we are building an indoor pool so I can swim everytime I have a rage urge.... or meltdown.... And Ido yoga and breathing exercises... I am now so relaxed... and the rages are allmost all gone! Knowledge is power.. especially when one is postive and takes the initiative to do somethign about it. I wish many ways I was diagnosed earlier in life when my athletics were not considered an option in my adult life....or Ididnot make the healthy connection.... Hopefully my experience will help others fine a healthy outlet for their rages... and ways to not have them come to a head and come out.. as well as melt downs.

I am actually thinking of writing a book.. A friend of mine has a son who is 9 and recently diagnosed.... My suggestions is working for her son! Smile

I will be glad to if i can.. .remember all aspies are different too... with other comorbid elements... I can just try... By helping others , I help myself too... I can't tell you how learning I am an aspie answered so many questions.. I have done so well.. yet there was always something missing and not right.... and the meltdowns and rages which I use to control with athletics.... Its all coming home to understand fully now.. this has completed my lifes quest about myself.. If I can help... I will. I don't want others to wait 55 yrs without know.. without a chance to make their lives happier. I did it the hard way.. . and I don't know but perhaps people have to struggle and learn the hard way on their own... I now wonder if it would have been wise for me to know... anyone can misuse knowledge ... and become victims instead of using it to have better lives... I think writing here will help my book,because psychologists and psychiatrist have their patients.. I just have me Smile

and my family

Five Wrote:

Yetti Wrote:

I am the��happiest and most successful.��One thing I learned to do was become a better NT than most NTs Smile

... with theatre training I learned to do what they do and often time even better.

I must say I used my aspie brain to be the best I could.. in everything , languages, art, theatre, sports, science..name it I worked hard at it... even though I did not understand Nts naturally... I ran them off their feet in their own world.. consequently , I was allowed my quirks ..sort of the perks of success...

I am as eccentric as one can be... and my close family and friends respect me... I made my way in the world.. there is nothing to prove .. I did it... MY WAY

Yetti, from your posts you seem very wise. From the things you have learned, please would you share a short advise/summary, about social interaction/relationships, to less experienced individuals? Thanks!

I agree.. I see the same.. Let me add.. They don't want to see their own failure as parents if their children do not turn out like us.. .Thus laying the blame on autism, their children, us, and Pharmecutical companies... the same energy could be used in a positive way to work with their children.. after all, the children did not ask to be born... and THEY carried the genes.... I think most of them need anger management... I always tried to think positive, forward, and surrounded myself with like people NT or Aspie..... I was always open to suggestions and looked for how I could improve myself: body, mind and soul. It was not an easy task and some of my relatives did not make it... they were mostly those who were weak and insecure, overprotected or never looked to improve their life and blamed others... it boils down to them... something they do not want to hear or admit... and it will ruin them and their childrens chances.

Amy Wrote:

I have found from writing and discussing issues relating to autism on NT parents forums, that sometimes there can be such an underlying anger and hostility towards the people on the spectrum who post.
This happens quite a lot on some, though many are cordial and reasonable.

I have been wondering why, and now think that there could be two factors.
One is that particular parents are resentful of the fact that the adults on the spectrum who post are much more able than their own children (which is natural as we are older and more likely to be able) and they dont like the fact that we should comment on autism at all as we are not completely disabled.

The other factor is that we represent the autism that they fear and hate, one describes wanting to fight and battle autism, maybe they turn that anger with autism itself, against us.

It is strange how on the one hand some say that they want their children to be treated well in society, yet they cant see that their own kids will grow up and become adults like us, and they see no wrong in being hostile and critical, they are perpetuating the vicious circle.

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