Aspies For Freedom

I'm pretty new here. I don't have much to go on except what's in my heart, and what I feel is right in my gut. Excuse me if this is  idealistic...but then maybe that's not a bad place to start from.

This is what I think about the parents vs. adult autists issue: I wish we could all stop picking on each other. It would be the biggest blow against the quackery of pseudo cures and fear mongering by the pharmaceutical companies. They're living off the fear and sense of responsibility of millions of parents at the expense of millions of little kids.

As long as the help and advice of adult autists is ignored or treated with fear, I believe this is going to continue. The wider the rift in the autistic community, the greater the benefit to those who feed off us.

And I'm getting increasingly worried about this reported 'rift' anyway. Does it strike anyone else that all these reports in newspapers and magazines are a self fulfilling prophecy that's only getting us nowhere fast? Why is neurodiversity being reported as some militaristic wave that's out to keep parents from helping their children? I DO NOT understand that. Neurodiversity is affirmation. Its acceptance. Its moving forward instead of cowering in fear.

And yes, there are parents who stick their children in treatment for the wrong reasons, but the vast majority of parents I know are just running scared, overwhelmed by the fear that they will miss out on the 'miracle cure' that's going to help their child have a shot at a 'normal' life. I truly believe most parents want to help their little children, not hurt them.  

One of the main reasons *I* didn't fall prey to medication routes for my little guy was the advice of a very kind and wise woman here in Australia. The first time I ever posted on an autism forum, just before my son's diagnosis, she sent me a list of sites that presented the neurodiversity side of things.  mugsy.org and that sort of thing.

I will never underestimate the power of something as small as sending someone in need a few links.

I haven't joined my local autism society; I only have one reason for that. While we ARE trying to check as thoroughly as possible for any further medical complications for our son, I want to come out of this post-diagnostic phase feeling we are whole as we are. I don't want to join a society of victims. Its a dead end I don't want to lead my family into.

I wish there were more I could do to see positive outcomes. For my son, myself, my family, my community. I hate feeling there is nothing positive to look forward to and nothing postive I can contribute.

That's why I'm here. I want very much to start doing something helpful, I'm just not sure what it is yet.

Thanks for that.

There's narrow-minded idiots on both sides of the fence IMHO, and I have had nasty comments both from parents who DO have ASD traits themselves (and are in denial about them, or even say they have AS traits, yet they continue to deny Aspies their opinion because they "can't judge for themselves and are just robots"*) and from NT parents alike, but I have also "met" many of both types who were very open-minded and eager to learn from adults with ASDs.

* the lady in question has 2 AS sons, but THEY of course are pure genius and never do anything wrong. Just all other people with AS are not worth talking to because they simply "don't know what they are talking about" (she has changed her tone somewhat though - she also used to claim that women could not have AS "because Hans Asperger said so", yet she kept going on about her own AS traits  :roll: ).

Thank you, Bonnie, for your kind words.

I am quite sure that the designers of IQ test batteries are discovering the very properties of mind which they first before devised, and that my very modest score is evidence of something, but of what exactly is less clear!

By the way, it was never said that I was of "subnormal intelligence" but that I was "educationally subnormal" - a dustbin category abolished by the Education Act 1981. The fact that I would repeat the same seemingly meaningless word clusters in a monotonous chant all day long for no reason that I am now able to explain did not reccomend me to mainstream education.  We learnt such things as how to lay a table, how to sew on a button and darn a sock, how to sit on a chair and to always look at the person who was speaking to you, and not to fidget while we spoke.   It was not a "child centred" approach, so I was often quite happy. Little was expected of us, and so long as we did as we were told the sun shone down all alike. The Cuban Missile Crisis came and went, with all its games of hiding under the tables when the teacher blew a whistle as she would do if and when the big siren went off to signal a nuclear attack, there was National Health orange juice and milk and a spoonful of malt and a spoonful of cod-liver oil a day for each child, so it would be wrong to see too much harshness or cruelty in the phrase "educationally subnormal."

It was seen, I think, rather as a statement of fact, calling a spade a spade if you like, rather than being in itself perjorative. Real cruelty comes only with the empty political fiction of "equal opportunities" - "you had an equal chance in life but you failed and now must go without" - the doctrine that saw the end of nutritional support of children by the State - the NHS orange juice, malt and school dinners - by placing the self-interest of the individual above the collective welfare of the people.


Stella

I can see where some of yur criticism of the concept of "executive dysfunction" (on AI) comes from now.

What you have to consider though is that, just like with any other list of symptoms or diagnostic criteria, we are not talking about a case of "anyone who has these symptoms automatically has executive dysfunction". If you were thinking that the links myself and winnie and others provided were making claims that these symptoms were *only* caused by ED then you are mistaken, and if you thought I was claiming that ED is behind all such problems, then this was definitely not my intention.

Just like social withdrawal does not automatically = "Autism", there are MANY reasons why a person might be bad at organising themselves, might not plan well or be motivated, especially if these "problems" exist only occasionally, only in specific situations or only during a certain point in a person's life.

Especially in the area of motivation, planning ahead, decision-making and getting started, things like depression, anxiety (esp. if bullying is taking place in school or at work) can and most likely will MASSIVELY impede a person's motivation, ability to get started with a task, ability to make descisions etc. This leads to confusion, lack of motivation, inactivity etc.

But that does not in any way mean that the person would not be able to do these things well once they recover from their depression, outside the area they are anxious about, or when the source of anxiety (i.e. a bully or something that causes a phobia) is removed.

It is also fairly common for teenage years to bring confusion, anxiety, depression and a general lack of motivation with them, as people grow from children into adults and find their identity, begin to choose and decide for themselves etc. However, this is not the same as ED, at least not if the person had no such problems before, and has no such problems afterwards.

ED is not about temporary lack of orientation or motivation, it is persistent and is present even when the person genuinely wants and tries to do the task they are unable to do sufficiently well.

The kind of problems I have with ED that I have described on AI were at times excarbated by depression, stress etc. but barring a few improvements when I had better support, and some better coping strategies I have developed, the main aspects have remained the same - at home, in school/at work and socially - from when I was in Kindergarten at 4 to now, age 26.

I've been trying all day to come on here and post. The fun is neverending in RL at the moment.

I agree with your points Stella and Amy, and appreciate your explaining your positions to me.  

I'm just feeling so jaded about the situation we're all in at the moment.  I keep hoping that providing the 'other side' of the equation to parents of newly diagnosed children will contribute in a small way to presenting a different view of autism. But I don't know how much it really helps or that I've done enough to really be useful.

My husband was just asking me why I'm sitting here with a glum look on my face. We sat and had a discussion about some of these issues; like most things in life, the problem is more complex than it seems at first glance.

Lili, I think I understand what you mean. Feeling disengaged from your own life, I mean. I'm an artist...I know I know, its a cliche like saying "I know karate". But I'm good. Really. And here I am, 40 years old, and I have produced next to nothing. I just don't understand why I should feel motivated to. The only time I've ever felt motivated to actually put my talent to use is when its useful for one of my interests. Last summer I designed and embroidered squares of Australian wildflowers (the research part of that was the best!) then turned them into a quilt. The only work I've produced this year is making various teaching aides while I was homeschooling my son. That's something I really WANTED to have specific drawings for...but I find it almost impossible to produce for anyone else.

It's funny, because "only hearing or reading a few words out of the whole sentence" is supposed to be something WE do a lot.

How come Schafer et al constantly manage to chop out massive parts of statements etc., completely distorting the meanings?

Of course when they do it, it's called journalism, when we do it, it's language disabilities

Yes indeed. It could be that some people find it a little confronting to see adults with autism as we are living proof that it is a lifelong condition.

There is a popular theory that people, men in particular, who are virulently, passionately anti-gay are secretly gay themselves.  I think the same is true of people who are virulently, passionately anti-autistic--and if they have an autistic child, well, those genes had to come from somewhere, right?  I think many people who grew up undx'ed ASC,  "high-functioning" enough to "pass," but still recognizing that something in themselves is different, come to hate their own autistic traits.  There is a member of my family to whom I believe this applies.  It even applies to me some of the time, although I don't take it out on other ASC people.  The idea that autistic traits are just as good as typical traits is very threatening to people.

What are you babbling about? What is "our" general sort of human misery?  What are the references to enlisting and evading the draft supposed to mean? Did your best friend choose to be an idiot, or was he born that way?

I just wanted to add that I have only recently encountered this bizarre cultural phenomenon.  I attend two real life autism groups, one specifically for Aspie adults, and the other for parents of Aspie kids.  I happen to be an Aspie adult and a parent of a four year old Aspie girl.  The difference between these two groups is truly mind-boggling.  The parent group is ANGRY, always angry, like, "Why did I have to be so unluckly to have this defective child?"  They want to change or cure the defect, and so it is quite an affront to meet adult Aspies who are unchanged, uncured, and yet, somehow, OK with being Aspie.  I think I particularly offend them, because I am not only GLAD, but also PROUD to be an Aspie, and delighted that my daughter will grow up to be an adult Aspie.  Aspies are my favorite people in the whole freaky world!!

I generally don't read the specifically Christian posts, but just wanted to agree with Max that 1) obviously no one chooses to be gay and 2) obviously no one should post such an outrageous and blatantly offensive comment and 3) could we please stick to the topic.

That said, I've made the same category of mistake (stupid global comment about men) elsewhere, and attribute it to temporary insanity and Aspie cluelessness, and both ask for and give out forgiveness in such circumstances wherever possible.

I've got no problem whatsoever being "different" and I "volunteer" to be different every f***ing day when I refuse to quiver in a closet. And spare me your pious and condescending  "compassion". The "hell" visited upon gay people is primarily the work of self-righteous religionists like yourself.

So, why do the ones without compassion call themselves "Christian"? They sound more like Pharisees or "whited sepulchres" to me.

I just turned 50 and would like a Dx. I'm very interested in asking how did you manage to get a DX without a doctor interviewing your parents? What country are you in?  Thanks

oops sorry, that was off topic wasnt it?