Aspies For Freedom

Hello everybody.

At fist I think I should apologize for my English... Here's my story.

I am a self-diagnosed Aspergers, but I can't be really sure in it. I learned about Autism and Aspergers syndrome not so long ago, two years maybe...
But my "difference" from the others was visible since my early childhood.
Though I can't recall myself earlier than 2,5 years old, I have a lot of memories about kindergarten years. A spent a lot of time there, all day long.

As other children were playing and socializing in groups, I preferred to sit in the far-away corner and construct from lego. I was very shy, and talked rarely. Nannies and teachers were questioning my mental health.

From those times I was bullied by children routinely.
School years were a torture to me. It was blamed on me that I am "offending other children",and thus invited bullying, though I could not identify in what ways I were offending, in fact, I were always trying to be as polite and helpful as possible...

I didn't have any friends, of course. Some classmates treated me with unexplainable cruelty, others were just silent bystanders, but most had negative attitude to me, without
any explanation why. At last I had learned to avoid people as much as possible.

After school I had entered academy. Much to my surprise, I had no problem with bullies there. Many of students were just avoiding me, but there were a good percent of people like me, and I had finally found two friends, with whom to be comfortable.

I am 24 now. After graduation I have a time to use Internet, and my communication deprivation lead to me joining several forums and social sites. I previously thought that absence of face-to-face contact will help me, but indeed as I posted in conversations I started noticing the strange thing:

independently of what I say or post, my words are either

1)Completely ignored,

2)Ridiculed in sarcastic or cruel ways,

3)or I am being accused of being impolite.

My first thoughts were "It's just my bad luck" or "It's my lack of good English", but those effect started happen in my native language forums too. Should I say that I always try to be amiable, and hold to the proper topic of conversation.

I wonder if other people with autism or Aspergers experience this too...

After learning from Internet about this phenomenon, it came to me that descriptions suit me well.
Also though I can't call my intelligence high, throughout my life I am fascinated by cosmology and astronomy, and have very narrow fields of interest...
I also have a lot of compulsive behaviors or obsessions. Sometimes it seems everything I touch turns into obsession.

Thank you for reading...

Hi, Aspiee!

Here's the part of your post that really made me angry: "It was blamed on me that I am 'offending other children',and thus invited bullying"

I'm a teacher and over the years  I have seen HUNDREDS of victims blamed for their own victimization. It still pisses me off, and thankfully I am often in a position to say, "This kid's behavior is not the problem; the BULLY's behavior is the problem and that is what we're going to deal with."

"throughout my life I am fascinated by cosmology"

My Aspie boyfriend has a PhD in Physics and his emphasis was in cosmology (especially the Big Bang)

That your posts are not replied to doesn't necessarily mean that they are ignored.

I am apparently also rude at a forum, but that was in my native language (norwegian).

"Also though I can't call my intelligence high, throughout my life I am fascinated by cosmology and astronomy, and have very narrow fields of interest..."

I am not sure if you used your narrow interests as an explanation for why you think you have alow intelligence. Many aspies have narrow interests, aswell as above avarge intelligence.

2Max the Bear: Thank for support...In fact, there was a practice executed on me in school, that I have dubbed "purgatory" : I was called to an empty classroom, and seated at the table, surrounded by two or three of the teachers and bullies, and then "called for an answer". After that an uncontrollable shouting at me usually started; they often told me "we have 30 people in class, all of them disliking one - who do you think is guilty here then? 30 people can't be wrong simultaneously" I think its the matter of "Bad things happen to bad people only" attitude.

2ercolos: I would not mind if they were not replied sometimes, but being constantly left unreplied made posting in many communities useless for me.

I don't regard narrow interests as a sign low intelligence, I just think so about myself because I usually underperform greatly on tasks when "brain work" is required.

Welcome.  I'm not officially dx'ed either, but I've been considering getting tested.

WHAT!?  That's probably the most horrible thing I have ever heard of a school doing.  That sounds like a school that should be stripped of its accreditation.  What kind of school was this, anyway?  That also sounds like a lynch-mob mentality.  It's alot easier for them to gang up and attack someone who won't be able to defend themselves, than it is to admit that the majority might be in the wrong.  I guess they were too lazy to have a little talk with their bullies, because that would be alot of talking.

Anyway, we're glad you're here and look forward to having you in our discussions.

Thanx garmonbozia.

I wasn't educated much about bullying at that time, but after some research
on this I've found that such teachers are usually afraid of bullies themselves, and begin to cooperate with them. One of the teachers involved in this story were openly imitating teenager behaviors (claiming to listen certain type of music, games an so on) just to avoid their negativity to be aimed at her.

That school, at the time I was studying, actually had received accreditation, it was considered on of the best schools...

This strengthens my view that some teachers on primary schools (not all of them) are sadists who don't care for the 'weaker' kids, the ones that are being bullied. I'm quite positive that there are teachers who indirectly encourage bullying.
I had one during the last years of primary school. I was never bullied much, but that last year was by far the worst year of school in my life. It was the only time I got bullied, and the teacher did nothing to stop it. Instead, he was definitely picking on me on various occassions with the rest of the class around it to watch.
Perhaps my views are wrong, but there are definitely teachers who tend to 'take the side' of the majority and ignore or even pick on the outcast. I don't necessarily see myself as an outcast but I've always had stubbornly different views than 'the rest', especially in big groups. Some teachers get very annoyed by this.

Oh and welcome, aspiee