I voted no, but I have been made redundant from a job in the past. I believe it had more to do with the severity of the downsizing than my AS traits. The downsizing was very severe, in fact my manager was on order from his own manager to cut the staff by 80%. The people who were kept on were all NT, but many other NTs were made redundant. My manager always got on well with me though, and he was always pleased with my performance, so I'm sure that if there hadn't have been any cuts, or if the cuts were less severe, he would have kept me on. But it wasn't his decision.
I have quit two jobs because of it.
The first job involved working with other developmentally disabled people, including clients who were on the spectrum. Once I was diagnosed and disclosed my dx, they woudln't let me work with anyone else who was autistic. I had to sit there and watch other worker behave in a demaning, condescending, or outright abusive manner towards my sort of people, realizing all the while that this is the way they probably also thought of me, as less then them. They knew that I had serious social anxiety issues, yet they purposefully paired me with clients I had requested not to work with, and in situations that were high-anxiety or phobia related (lots of screaming, many balloons popping, that sort of thing). In short, they were trying their best to create a hostile work environment for me, so I obliged them and quit.
The job that I just quit had been held for over three years, in a grocery store. It took an incredible amount of work and coping skills for me, especially at first, but I gave them my absolute best performance, which frankly, was as good or better than the other employees. Sometimes I had panic/anxiety attacks for hours on end...bleh. While there, I was physically threatened, verbally abused, harrassed and intimidated in various ways, but I stayed. Usually the antagonists moved on, anyway. I was promised a promotion to an area that played upon my strengths (cake-decorating) and then had it retracted. They said that because of my AS I wouldn't be able to multi-task (BS, because working in a service deli requires a LOT more multitasking than a bakery, and I was a pretty capable deli worker). Then my manager started picking on me, I had a meltdown, fell apart, couldn't function, and put in my two weeks notice. The nest day, I realized I hadn't been thinking clearly and begged them to let me stay, but they wouldn't. They seem to have some sort of policy against letting you stay once you put your notice in. I gave them 3 years of faithful service, and the jerks woudln't even give me a reference!!!!
(can you tell, I'm still angry about this!)
No, the only reason I lost the retail job was because it was the end of the holiday season, and sales were so bad, all part-time employees were laid off, even ones who've been there for a long time. In fact, I was told that I'd be rehired if I wanted to come back, but I'm making more money with my temp job now, and hope to find a permanent job that pays as much as the temp agency does.
Yep heaps of times. Last job lasted three weeks. That was about a week ago. So over it!
Congrats Blacktext.
No (not yet, anyways).
Some of my work contexts have benefitted from my aspieness but unfortunately, not my current one, which involves a lot of project organization and administration and dealing with...gasp....people.
:sigh: That new job I got? I just lost it today. They called me up and said that I wasn't learnign wquickly enugh and that I wasn't fast enough. I do take a long time to learn, because they always try to teach me
verbally and I am virtually unable to learn stuff by hearing it. I have to *do* it. I was just starting to get the hang of it and to do really well, but I guess that wasn't enough to compensate for the length of time it took me to learn it.....even though I do a really good job once I have the routine down.
This will be my third job in 3 years....it's really depressing.
:sigh: That new job I got? I just lost it today. They called me up and said that I wasn't learnign wquickly enugh and that I wasn't fast enough. I do take a long time to learn, because they always try to teach me
verbally and I am virtually unable to learn stuff by hearing it. I have to *do* it. I was just starting to get the hang of it and to do really well, but I guess that wasn't enough to compensate for the length of time it took me to learn it.....even though I do a really good job once I have the routine down.
This will be my third job in 3 years....it's really depressing.
Doesn't matter how many times it happens it never makes it easier. I can't offer you promises things will get better or change nor can I give you positive and constructive strategies. It sucks! Waht I will do though is to say I really do understad what it is like and how much it guts you. If you need to talk I am here. I do understand.
I can't get a job. -- not even a temp one. I don't know why.
I tried to get help from a government agency for people with disabilities but they only really help people with visible disabilities. I tried to contact another government agency that helps people with learning disabilities but they will not help me. They referred me to yet another organization that helps people with Asperger's but I would have to pay $3000 for a job placement because I do not qualify for social welfare.
I am sick of it. I refuse to look for work now. If my husband does not like it then I will die.
Well, Health and Welfare is going to want me to find a new job ASAP....but to be truthful, I'm feeling distinctly unmotivated. It's going to be like this everywhere: discrimination, expectations of NT social low-work-ethic behavior that I cannot imitate, and the cold shoulder when I can't pull it off. It's dorky to be this broken up over the loss of a job, but seriously, it hurts my ego. I'm smarter than most of these idiots, and yet I can't get a simple job and keep it...a job where the other workers are lucky if their I.Q. is 100. It's humiliating.
Maybe I can make stuff at home and sell it...I don't know. For the time being, I've racked up enough unemployment to be halfway conmfortable for a few months.
Made it to the last interview stage with the Regional Manager. I hope I get the job. I just knocked back a job I successfully got because I was offered $8000 more with this position.
Thanks for the advice, folks.
I actually did tell them that what I needed in order to learn effectively, but they were apparently unable to do it, and added to the mix was at least one worker who was shafting her work off onto me and them getting mad at me when I couldn't keep up with the schedule!
Over the summer, I did landscape work independently, but people didn't always pay me and I found it extremely stressful to set boundaries (i.e., "no, I can't work for you today, I am scheduled to work at 2 other places and tomorrow is taken, too") or to get demanding about the money. People took advantage of me right and left.
The grocery store has finally taken me back as a cashier. My schedule sucks, but cashiering is actually fairly easy socially, in comparison to being a deli worker. Right about the time a person is becoming annoying, they go away!
Hi,
I recently had an employer say that it had nothing to do with me being Aspie, she just felt uncomfortable working with me. Then when I asked her about that, she switched it to me not being very skilled.
I know that the second answer was there to smooth things over, if I needed a reason for leaving to collect any money from the govt. But anyway, it was completely false.
All I can say was, they put me to do a job I needed to focus on a lot, doing a lot of graphic design, a LOT of work, that was time sensitive, and they put me in the lobby by a VERY wild and outgoing secretary. It was hell. First she didn't like me. then I explained I had poor eye contact, and she started telling me about herself, about how proud she was of her enormous breasts and she repeated the story to me on several occasions, until I ended up glancing at them, and I'm not a lezbian! Then I felt SOOO uncomfortable and stressed out. Then this manager I had I suddenly realized she was enormnous too. Then I became to self contious about the fact that I noticed, that whenever my eye contact wasn't up to snuff, and my head lowered, I ended up with their stupid breasts at eye level because I was sitting that they were standing over me frontally.
Anyway, then I just couldn't concentrate because this secretary was so loud. And one time she really hurt my feelings by deliberately excluding me, and then saying "I only talk to people I LIKE". She was really acting like little miss superior. and she coudln't quit bragging about herself.
Then I just felt SO uncomfortable at the job, that it started to rub off on my boss. Hence that is how she became uncomfortable to work with me.
I'd have to say, when she fired me, although she said it was nothing to do with me being Aspie, in that she wasn't prejudiced against us...the fact remained that she got really upset when I asked if she could write things down, because people were giving me work in such a disorganized fashion. She got upset as if I was trying to be bossy. That's how I think my Aspie quality was misinterpreted. I was being direct and asking for help, and she was taking it like I had an ATTITUDE.
Somehow maybe the way I said it, wasn't good enough. Maybe I had a wrong tone, I don't know, all I fetl was that it was hard to do, and possible I stressed myself out fearing to ask a question in advocation for myself,. I felt like there was a chance I'd get her upset. And I did.
So anyway, some people might call us rude, or too blunt or too dominant and bossy, but really it's not that.
This is how I feel a lot of times Asperger's Syndrome plays a part in getting fired. I didn't even sense that my boss was relaly upsret with me and ready to get rid of me. When it happened it was a surprize. I felt almost like things were OK and improving. But they were just the opposite.
So that's how it is. We get hated, bullied because WE look like the bully, told off, and fired in a guiltless manner. I really believe that people need to stop making snap judgments. When someone says they are Aspie, they need people to know that they must take a step back and not judge behaviours, but instead ask the person, or try hard to find out what went wrong and give it a chance to be made right.
I got an idea...
Just like sometimes people can't always be aware that there is something to ask about, sometimes other people are not aware that they should express something that needs to be known. But it's funny how we are all funny that way. We have to realize that communication needs to exist in order for it to be effective! The first step I guess is realizing all the buried things we take for granted that need to be said. Another step involves people who are able to ask questions that prompt and probe for answers in delecate ways. In other words, many work places would be able to train effectively if they hired psychologists as employees. If that sounds like a joke it isn't. It seems like employees have to learn to probe the psyche of the employer if they want to learn the job.
Or at least, that's what it's like for an Aspie. If you don't naturally notice what people are trying to say without words. You have to learn to ask questions like a psychologist. Because many jobs expect you to read their minds, instead of train you. I suppose if you are already a skilled person, they would expect you to mind-read. Because they expect you to be of like mind. Their culture.
But what if times have changed or you didn't get that opportunity to learn about it? How can that be possible aforehand?
How to get into the culture of the company? Instead of worrying about what your social skills are, join clubs, whether Aspie or not, and see if you fit in. Take an intro course as a college there, and see if you fit in with the style of people. Test first to see what works, then go for it as a career. Volunteer in something that interests you, and see what kind of people gerernally go for that industry.
See unemployment, as being fired an opporunity to get on your shoes and go out and explore. Because you'll never have that kind of time once settled into a job!
Make a list, or plan. And follow it. Doesn't have to be religiously, as long as it is followed enough so you don't feel like you are doing nothing, and rolling over depressed!
See you thought you either you get fired for not mind reading, or else you gotta go back to school and get educated that way. Because the world will vomit you out if you are not in their taste or their flavor of person. So you really have to search for a good place for yourself.
I rarely see a win win situation where, people see what I can bring to the table and try to use that. They are more concerned about me becoming like them. So why adapt to them when I can go out and find what suits ME?
Here's another idea: go around and try to be keen on which places might be in hiring mode. See if they want and informal chat. See if you can find out what their needs are, their situation is right now, and see what the bosses style is like. If they are open to your style of working?? If they are Aspie friendly?? If the way thigs are done there suit your working style??
Don't be fired for being good but with the wrong personality, be KEPT for being YOU, and doing what you passionately DO!!
-Deborah
Hello,
I had an insight last night. If Aspies are highly focused, and when in a social situation, naturally focus on the literal sense of what is being spoken rather than the meaning behind the words. CAnnot an Aspie shift their focus and decide to focus purely on the tones, and ways the words are spoken ignoing "what" is being said?
This to me has been a "breakthrough idea". I was listening to some taping of some classes I went to for fitness theory, and I noticed that I respond really well to people's tones and etc...and I think I natually shift from literal to non-literal, but it's just that to put it all together, I am a little slow because there are two streams of messages coming at me, and I have to go through an extra step fusing those together.
I found that by listening to the tape, sometime I "do" in fact seem like I don' know what people are talking about yet my sound of my voice is completely in tune with the atmosphere. And then other times when we are asked direct questions, I sound like a robot reciting things off, and my voice tone turns monotone. I shift over to the logic and literal again.
The two worlds don't really meet for me until I hear a taping and I can analysis. I applaud myself for sounding right, and just, NOT saying too much to give away that I'm clued out but I get the tones and emotions! And then the other times when I say thing correctly, I can see that is when people blank me out, because I lost grasp of their tones and emotions and got strictly into the literal and fact. So although I might be right, people let me alone.
So now I see that, it's just putting it all together that is hard for me. So what seems to work, for a class anyway, is to listen over these tapes, so I can hear the whole sense of what is happening and not miss anything. I can analyze it and laugh about some things that I now "get".
Maybe that would work for other people too. Just to tug around a high tech cellphone with a voice recorder and alway record, and then go home and listen to what happened that day.
