04-14-2007, 04:06 AM
Hi. I think I have AS. I don’t know how to start.
I constantly struggle to communicate with my classmates. I’ve learned to laugh when people expect me to and I try to smile when a person is talking to me so that I can give them a reaction. When I talk, I normally get the wrong tone of voice out, which causes some confusion most of the time. I struggle to make eye contact – I know it’s important, but it makes me uncomfortable to look people in the eye, like the action is forced or fake. I can’t hold a proper conversation, being lost for words and trying to act normal. I try not to talk much because I tend to pronounce words wrong on mistake and I fumble around to get out my thoughts. My mind has this idea that if you tell a person enough things about yourself, even though the facts aren’t important, the person will accept you (just to let you know that’s the reason I write too much). I can only have a fairly decent conversation with adults most of the time.
I have an almost unbreakable habit of correcting people without thinking. I have corrected my classmates, my teachers, even my school president! I don’t really see anything wrong in that, but students have been laughing at me. Go figure.
I seem to also have what I would like to call ‘cool senses’. I have a rather good sense of smell. I can hear every conversation in a room and keep track of them. The problem is: I can hear clocks ticking, which normally keeps me up until I remove it. I also hate physical contact (if I shake your hand, that’s something big). I avoid crowded areas, resulting in me arriving in places early.
I generally dislike doing physical activities. Sometimes, I get so afraid that I hesitate to even bend down to pick up the things I dropped because when I move, people laugh at me. I try doing hand gestures, imitating my classmates, but I tend to make a fool out of myself.
I constantly fail to ‘feel’, I guess you could put it. I feel permanently ‘neutral’. I don’t know how to put it. I don’t know how to respond to other people’s emotions and I normally settle with an odd smile and try to leave quickly. I don’t even know what emotions I feel sometimes.
I have been obsessed with various things throughout my life. Most of them were extremely narrow; my father at times attempted to broaden my research, but he was rarely ever successful and I would move on whenever I would move on. I’m really onto music now and I think music will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I’ve learned how to adapt. I hate it, though. It’s like I’m constantly acting. I’ve learned to ignore insults of my eccentricities.
Luckily, after first grade, I was homeschooled for six years. This is my first year back in school at ninth grade. The teachers like me and trust me. I don’t really have any friends, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve gotten used to it.
By the way, I’m two grades ahead. I’m supposed to be in seventh grade because of my age, but I’m in ninth. My sister was two grades ahead too, but my parents held her back because the next year literature book would have been too ‘mature’.
I always thought that perhaps I could be considered that I have Asperger’s, but really, really, really minor. That was until I started researching more about it for my report in Health. Then I realized that I might have a bit more of Asperger’s than I think (that sentence wasn’t phrased well – sorry). I’m kind of worried because my family doesn’t believe in ADHD, but they believe in Downs Syndrome. I’m afraid that they might ‘think less of me’ if I tell them my thoughts.
P.S. I’m rather paranoid about my writing. I tend to say things, when I mean other things. It takes me forever to reply to anyone. Plus I’m not used to forums or anything. Just to let you know. Also, I’ll most likely be using the ‘16 and under’ section.
I constantly struggle to communicate with my classmates. I’ve learned to laugh when people expect me to and I try to smile when a person is talking to me so that I can give them a reaction. When I talk, I normally get the wrong tone of voice out, which causes some confusion most of the time. I struggle to make eye contact – I know it’s important, but it makes me uncomfortable to look people in the eye, like the action is forced or fake. I can’t hold a proper conversation, being lost for words and trying to act normal. I try not to talk much because I tend to pronounce words wrong on mistake and I fumble around to get out my thoughts. My mind has this idea that if you tell a person enough things about yourself, even though the facts aren’t important, the person will accept you (just to let you know that’s the reason I write too much). I can only have a fairly decent conversation with adults most of the time.
I have an almost unbreakable habit of correcting people without thinking. I have corrected my classmates, my teachers, even my school president! I don’t really see anything wrong in that, but students have been laughing at me. Go figure.
I seem to also have what I would like to call ‘cool senses’. I have a rather good sense of smell. I can hear every conversation in a room and keep track of them. The problem is: I can hear clocks ticking, which normally keeps me up until I remove it. I also hate physical contact (if I shake your hand, that’s something big). I avoid crowded areas, resulting in me arriving in places early.
I generally dislike doing physical activities. Sometimes, I get so afraid that I hesitate to even bend down to pick up the things I dropped because when I move, people laugh at me. I try doing hand gestures, imitating my classmates, but I tend to make a fool out of myself.
I constantly fail to ‘feel’, I guess you could put it. I feel permanently ‘neutral’. I don’t know how to put it. I don’t know how to respond to other people’s emotions and I normally settle with an odd smile and try to leave quickly. I don’t even know what emotions I feel sometimes.
I have been obsessed with various things throughout my life. Most of them were extremely narrow; my father at times attempted to broaden my research, but he was rarely ever successful and I would move on whenever I would move on. I’m really onto music now and I think music will stay with me for the rest of my life.
I’ve learned how to adapt. I hate it, though. It’s like I’m constantly acting. I’ve learned to ignore insults of my eccentricities.
Luckily, after first grade, I was homeschooled for six years. This is my first year back in school at ninth grade. The teachers like me and trust me. I don’t really have any friends, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. I’ve gotten used to it.
By the way, I’m two grades ahead. I’m supposed to be in seventh grade because of my age, but I’m in ninth. My sister was two grades ahead too, but my parents held her back because the next year literature book would have been too ‘mature’.
I always thought that perhaps I could be considered that I have Asperger’s, but really, really, really minor. That was until I started researching more about it for my report in Health. Then I realized that I might have a bit more of Asperger’s than I think (that sentence wasn’t phrased well – sorry). I’m kind of worried because my family doesn’t believe in ADHD, but they believe in Downs Syndrome. I’m afraid that they might ‘think less of me’ if I tell them my thoughts.
P.S. I’m rather paranoid about my writing. I tend to say things, when I mean other things. It takes me forever to reply to anyone. Plus I’m not used to forums or anything. Just to let you know. Also, I’ll most likely be using the ‘16 and under’ section.
