Hehe. I also got flamed by an Aspie who wants a cure. I say that any AS/Autie who wants a cure needs to work on self-esteem, and suddenly, Ethel starts flaming me for getting in her business. I've got the quote right here:
Johanna, you waltz in here, start giving speeches more for the benefit of hypothetical google visitors than the actual people on the forum, and start having a go at me because I want to exercise my right to make my own decisions in relation to my health rather than jumping on whichever bandwagon makes me feel righteous. get over yourself. Like I said, if I want a cure, that's my business, and maybe it would be polite for YOU to consider that maybe that's based on my own honest analysis of my life, not any hypothetical trauma or self-esteem issues I may or may not have.
And if that isn't polite... to bad. I'm an Aspie. I'm blunt. I call things as I see them.
I admitted that I was being a little rude and apologized to her. I hoped that would inspire her to do the same, but I was wrong. While I believe that all autistics/Aspies have a right have rights to their own personalities, I think that HFAs/Aspies supporting a cure is kind of selfish because while they may see it as something given to them because they want it, it will be given to children indiscriminately. Parents will seek the cure without thinking about the fact that they're depriving their child of his/her right to his/her brain. Besides, being autistic is not an illness. It's just a different state of being.
Dear Tigger_the_Wing:
About me starting a fight with Ethel, I apologized for starting it and I want to end it before it becomes a huge vendetta. I hate verbal fighting with anyone. However, I will read her posts if that makes you feel better.
Before staring a fight spread across several threads, I would humbly suggest you first click on Ethel's name, click on 'find all posts by this user' and read everything she has to say on a variety of subjects.
I have done similar in the past; it gives a new member a chance to catch up on long-standing 'personalities' on the forum and gives you an insight into their true character.
Yes, but a new member may read all of a long standing member's posts and agree with most of them but still clash over one or two things. Why should a new member have to humbly bow before an established member? Aren't we all equal here?
Good point, Ethereal, but unfortunately, it seems that if a member has been here for a certain amount of time, then they are automatically Jesus Christ and the newbies are chopped liver. As George Orwell wrote, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." By the way, I do clash with some things. PM me for more details.
Um, I've got two questions:
1) What does "troll" mean?
2) Who is the person you're calling a troll?
This post is directed at Tigger_the_Wing
Before staring a fight spread across several threads, I would humbly suggest you first click on Ethel's name, click on 'find all posts by this user' and read everything she has to say on a variety of subjects.
I have done similar in the past; it gives a new member a chance to catch up on long-standing 'personalities' on the forum and gives you an insight into their true character.
Yes, but a new member may read all of a long standing member's posts and agree with most of them but still clash over one or two things. Why should a new member have to humbly bow before an established member? Aren't we all equal here?
Good point, Ethereal, but unfortunately, it seems that if a member has been here for a certain amount of time, then they are automatically Jesus Christ and the newbies are chopped liver. As George Orwell wrote, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." By the way, I do clash with some things. PM me for more details.
Who gave older members permission to cyber-club newbies? It is the height of rudeness to demand newbies to bow and scrape before the established member. And as for the question "aren't we all equal here?" Apparently not and obviously not.
The question screaming to be asked is: Just because a person has made two or three thousand posts in this forum, what gives them the right to behave like a bully? And why is the bully ENCOURAGED to bully ONLY new members? Is there some unspoken rule in the forum that if you need to bully someone, you must only bully the newest members? Is there so much pent up hostility in this forum that newbies are seen as target practice? On the other hand, it is probably a good idea for newbs to frame their comments in a way which neither attacks older members nor invites attack. And that would appear to be a skill one could use to one's advantage in the real world.
Heh. Better quit before I find cyber-noose around my neck.
Nobody was bullying anybody.
I saw that a disagreement between two members was being dragged up in another thread and humbly suggested a better way of dealing with it. I did not demand humility of Johanna (that was a mis-reading by ethereal). I used the word in order to show that I wasn't bossing people around. Or is there suddenly a new meaning of 'humble' that is the opposite to the one I intended?
The question could be re-phrased: "Why have so many new members joined this forum and started fights?"
There certainly have been a lot of trolls recently (people who join a forum solely for the 'fun' of upsetting people) so perhaps established members are being a little hyper-sensitive. But a lot of the arguments could be stopped immediately by reading the mission statement on the front page and saying at the beginning of a post to whom it is being addressed!
About that, Tigger, I did not mean to start any fights. I appreciate that you didn't boss me around and merely suggested that I take a certain course in dealing with a situation. I just want to not have people flaming me. If I don't get along with someone, I just won't bother speaking to someone, but I really don't appreciate comments like these:
Yeah, quit. You and Johanna both. It will be easier. Really.
To Korrigan: I'm not having a go at you, I just humbly request that you not flame me and Parvati.
To Korrigan: I will not quit simply because some bully is telling me to. As for the doing stuff for the benefit of Google searchers, I can count those posts on one hand. One. Two. That's it. About the flaming, I did not mean to flame them. I was being polite. I did not call them by any names, I did not cuss at them. About me telling Gareth to keep his pants on, I was using an expression of my mother's that simply means "Relax," "Chill out," and the like. I am trying to get along with everyone reasonably well with everyone.
To everyone: If I have somehow offended someone, you can let me know politely and I will apologize. There is no need to insult me and get all rude.
To Ethel: About me "whining about you publically," as you were reading my apology note, that was because, despite my apologizing, you continued to flame me. About me being childish, I asked my grandmother, who is 76 years old, about what she would do if in a similar situation and her response was pretty much a description of something similar to what I did.
I can relate to your situation, Parvati. I joined so that I could be around people that share my viewpoint and have reasonably pleasant discussions. But instead, no matter how politely I try to write something, someone somehow finds it wrong and writes me an angry post instead of telling me politely... To you, skyblue1, I will try to tread more carefully.
[Message to Parvati: You have a PM in your inbox from me]
The viewpoints of those on here at AFF are all over the place. I think that it is as common misconception that anyone will share anyones viewpoint. As far as reasonably pleasant discussions, they do exist. It is tricky for some who focus on specific wording and language. Also, you have to be accepting of varying writing styles. Sometimes emotions are high and aspies or non-aspies just misunderstand the tone meant in the written word. I do wish that people in general asked questions first, to clarify, instead of jumping to thinking the worst or putting words into peoples mouths. Anyone can have a bad hour, day or week though, so give it some time. You'll see, most people on here are very, very nice.
Also, a main aspect of this site is not just pleasant conversation. Activism and advocacy abounds. People that are caught up in the most recent injustice sometimes are not feeling all that pleasant or conversational when just coming out of the trenches. I hope you understand what I mean.
Good point, Ethereal, but unfortunately, it seems that if a member has been here for a certain amount of time, then they are automatically Jesus Christ and the newbies are chopped liver. As George Orwell wrote, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." By the way, I do clash with some things. PM me for more details.
Johanna I am happy to take you to task for this. I would like you to state how in any way this was constructive and not meant as a slight against all established members here. I have not seen or read any posts from you before and you are happy to taint me and others I know and think of fondly so? What's it to be? I would like you to this VERY hard on the answer you give to this question and your reasons for giving it and what you want to accomplish.
Skyblue your efforts t hep probably aren't mate. think the reason is that you are in a bad place
actually whether you are a newbie or not it appears if you are not in the cligue which pervades this forum your ideas can be trampled on by folks who ask for tolerance and acceptance from others especially Nt`s, but are not willing to accept or tolerate the ideas of others. In other words you are free to be , say or believe what you wish as long as it is " the way I feel or think " .
I am now suicidal because of attacks and misunderstandings of things I have recently posted. I am used to being rejected by NT`s. But to be rejected by my own kind is a little more than I can stand. especially when I was just trying to be helpful.
Please tread carefully here.
Now I would very much like to chat with you by PM so you have somewhere to vent whatever you feel you need support with without an audience and even discuss what things about AFF is upsetting you. I also strongly encourage you to get some intervention help and something to stabilise your mood. When you are depressed, your thoughts gravitate that way too and in this instance the clique you clearly see just isn't there. The help then telling this to new members probably isn't helpful. I will PM you mate and I will let you unload on me in hope you feel better for it.
Who gave older members permission to cyber-club newbies? It is the height of rudeness to demand newbies to bow and scrape before the established member. And as for the question "aren't we all equal here?" Apparently not and obviously not.
The question screaming to be asked is: Just because a person has made two or three thousand posts in this forum, what gives them the right to behave like a bully? And why is the bully ENCOURAGED to bully ONLY new members? Is there some unspoken rule in the forum that if you need to bully someone, you must only bully the newest members? Is there so much pent up hostility in this forum that newbies are seen as target practice? On the other hand, it is probably a good idea for newbs to frame their comments in a way which neither attacks older members nor invites attack. And that would appear to be a skill one could use to one's advantage in the real world.
Heh. Better quit before I find cyber-noose around my neck.
Well you seem to have exactly the same viewpoint in this to Johanna and so I ask you the same thing. I would like you to state how in any way this was constructive and not meant as a slight against all established members here. I have not seen or read any posts from you before and you are happy to taint me and others I know and think of fondly so? What's it to be? I would like you to this VERY hard on the answer you give to this question and your reasons for giving it and what you want to accomplish.
For the record most established members have clashed with me on occasion and I do not discriminate so I am happy to cyber club people irrespective of how long they have been here. Me I look to see if I am offended and use that and not length of membership as to whether I have issue with the poster or their premise.
I have issue with your's.
Very wise EZ. I think another thing is if you put it out there be sure it is something you are sure of and are prepared to back yourself on. Sweeping generalisations of a negative nature tend to get taken negatively by others. There is nothing wrong with calling out bad behaviour or getting people to own their own actions and pointing out problems.
Sometimes truth hurts. I have more than occasionally ended up apologising for my behaviour on the board.
None of us is perfect but most of us do try to do the right thing for the forum.
OK Johanna I am OK with that but you can see from the above post that an established member like myself reading that may make the inference of what I said don't you. It does not belie an interest in having pleasant discourse, it says "You guys are jerks".
The last four or five people I have jumped on in recent times have all been established members. I know that as EvilZakkie had alluded to many of us are veterans of many troll wars and are wary of negative comments from new people purely because trolls once in are hard to persuade out. At the same time I do think members here are (like myself) more tolerant of newbies than members who are here longer and ought to know better the personalities of people and the mechanics of the forum.
If you feel you have made a bad start, then do not personalise it or look at having a go at the forum membership just think about what you want to put across and put it down without judgements or aggro. If you are concerned or having difficulties PM me. I will not back you if you cause trouble or upset others but I won't allow you to be unfairly picked on either and I will be available for PM's if you need.
I would hope you are not calling me a bully. I promise you I am not bullying you. I am, however, being protective of the forum, and of my friends, who you seem to feel the need to flagrantly insult repeatedly.
Please apologize to Ethel for your repeated assaults. You were not polite.
Please apologize to Gareth for telling him to "keep his pants on" rather rudely. That was not polite.
Lastly, please stop running rampant and being rude to people. Stop being impolite.
That will solve your problems. I am nearly sure of it.
This type of post is part of the bullying that certain members have been doing, I have to say that Korrigan is one of those people. It is not acceptable at all.
Currently Korrigan has a 48 hour ban, I hope this gives her time to reflect on her approach and behaviour.
It is not a few incidents, it is long term problems which have been of great concern.
Someone may feel like they are protecting the forum, or individuals, but the forum is like an open house, we always need newcomers and they deserve equal treatment.
In the very page you posted this you see Korrigan and Johanna getting along well and explaining that Johanna had the wrong end of the stick. Which she admits to and we all were getting on well.
Now with little insight into how things ARE and looking with telescopic vision you pick an isolated, resolved out of context situation and place a ban. WHY?
Do you want everyone he to distrust and hate you? Is that the purpose of both the ban and the de-modding of EvilZakkie?
Do you think that this makes for a better or worse forum environment? What are you "actually" trying to achieve with these measures? You know for the purposes of being honest with your forum membership.
If you want things to be that imaginary shopping mall which this place was close to when I first joined here. Before we were all left pretty much to our own devices when the Admins checked out for weeks at a time (and I know you guys had lots on), then how is what you are doing on the forum designed to help that?
Why don't you try putting down the banhammer and talk to the membership. Share what you want and how. Think about what you might do to make them trust YOUR intentions. Because I will tell you honestly: accusing people of personal attacks when they are expressing themselves and a difference of opinion to yours, and /or asking your to clarify yourself, is not personal attack in itself, de-modding competant Admins, banning members you have disagreed with on long resolved disagreements with people they get along with, threatening people you disagree with with ban warnings, calling people who express their feeling about matter and are honest enough to "patronising" you and generally making this an agenda based issue against you......will not help things.
For the benefit and wanting answers, could you explain the above to them. Can they trust you Amy? (For the benefit of transparency I trust Gareth will if here and if able will do what's right here. I do not always agree with him but I think he has the best interests of this place and I will defend his character. EvilZakkie I again have disagreed with numerous times but is one of the best things to have joined this place, CBC is great. She does not attach herself to drama and is silently effective. Brightman, I have not had much exposure to but I would like to get more exposure from. He seems like a nice bloke. Wolfy, et al, no idea. That leaves you and TBH not a lot of what you "seem" to be doing makes me want to trust you. I know you can turn this into me being underhanded but I know that you, me and the other members no that is unlikely and most people know I am not much for subtle. I would like to trust you and to have a reason to. I would like to be an advocate for you and your site. Just give me a reason Amy and give the members one too.)
^ Yes, getting rid of the best mod/admin. this place has ever had (no offence to CBC) does seem rather like cutting off your nose dispite...no cutting off your head dispite your body.
...the phrase is 'cut off your nose to spite your face...'
You have the right of it again Spokane.
Yes the Admins were not involved at that time much and they had not give over any power to the mods to ban. Bad decision. Glad she has gone now though. Of course I could say the same of timelord, Yetti, Louise18, and Mom of Hrick (far as I know the last three despite what they have done here are still not unregistered and may return at any moment. Oh Joy!!)
However vehemently you despise being associated with an image of weakness, most full-blown autistic children are disabled and need help. Do not attempt to tell me that the four-year-old autistic child I mentor who is still in diapers and cannot utter a single unbroken word is 'unqiue'. Autism of that nature is a tragedy, moron. Reat it again - tragedy. Nothing pisses me off more than a whiny Aspie that ignores the severity of autism to protect his or her pwecious widdle insecurities.
Sounds like me when I was four years old(suppose I'm a *** whiner for saying that duh).
No i'm not a tragedy.