Aspies For Freedom

That is merely an opinion.  Don't get me wrong, I like Ethel and a lot of what she has to say but I don't view anyone on here as a "hero."

Yes, but a new member may read all of a long standing member's posts and agree with most of them but still clash over one or two things.  Why should a new member have to humbly bow before an established member?  Aren't we all equal here?

I can see and think for myself thank you very much.  I've no interest in getting into an argument with you either.

hey, I've made 4,000 posts in just over a year, do you mind?

This isn't an "oldies vs. newbies" situation. Here's what I see (and I'm not taking sides here, just trying to sum things up so we can start moving towards mutual understanding).

First off, Johanna, as an enthusiastic new autistic rights campaigner, made some very strong blanket statements about GF/CF diets & the psychological state of aspies that would choose to take a cure if offered.

Next, as someone to whom these blanket statements did not apply, Ethel called both these statements gross overgeneralisations (paraphrasing).

Johanna saw someone disagreeing with these statements, decided that this meant they were against autistic rights, and escalated the argument.

Ethel responded to angry posts with her own angry posts.

...and here we here.


This is why Tigger gave the advice she did to Johanna - reading Ethels previous posts will give a greater insight into Ethels real point of view, which is entirely in favour of autistic rights. It isn't about "bashing the newbie" at all - it's about suggesting a method that will lead to greater understanding.

Here's my advice:

Johanna: It's great that you're as passionate as you are about these issues, but there is much more to these things than a "for" or "against" position. If someone disagrees with you, it's best to ask them questions about what their opinion actually is before you blast them for it - and you might find that your opinions are closer than you think.

Ethel: I agree that the blanket statements made were completely wrong, but a new member isn't going to understand all the nuances of these debates within a few days of being here. We're going to get lots of new members wanting to "fight against the oppressors" straight away, and it doesn't always mean that they're going to be looking for a fight forever. Give things a couple of weeks, and see what happens.


Hope that helps...

No problem. I did see that post, but things have continued since then.

Regarding the last sentence, my advice was for two people, not just one. This thing happened due to escalation on both sides, and if you use neutral advice as a tool against the other person, it's just escalating things again.

This flame war is over when you both choose it, not when the other person "loses".

Skyblue1,

Misunderstandings are there to sort out. AFF is not without miscommunicationproblems. The difference with life IRL is that we are prepared to sort it out. We know it can be a communication problem.

You cannot expect AFF to be heaven. AFF can be a home.

Misunderstandings often come from two sides. Maybe people on that thread did not understand how you coping in daily life is what you chose.
I think you did not understand how you hurt them with things that were completely pc in your eyes.

Solving the misunderstanding needs to come from you too.

Had your opening post been a personal story about you, instead of 'the cure' it would have been understood, as your choice.
Reactions might be oposing, but that you chose it would have been accepted. It's your way of coping in society. Who are we to take that from you. It might not be ours, that's something else.

The second misunderstanding is on your side. You don't know how you hurt them. Solving to understand that is yours.

Suicide is not an option.

AFF is for Autists. But it's not heaven. It is a good place to be. But you can expect rows and tiffs too. That is part of communication. Sometimes it is rough. Sometimes very rightly so. But it is also a loving and caring community.

Thanks, this means a lot.

I also wanted to add that AFF has just come out of some very dark months, and people here are still very cautious, tense and nervous - this is why there are so many accusations of trolling and similar things flying around. I believe that as people begin to feel safer here once again, things will become much calmer.

In the meantime, when people here become angry over small things, it's a good idea to just ask what's going on - often these sorts of scuffles don't take much to deflate...

This was what I was referring to, regarding security.

You cannot have a healthy forum, if people are scared to post, in case they offend, or cross wires with an admin, who they fear (if this fear is justified or not; I'm not picking a side yet, merely providing...feedback..) may ban them later.

I'll refer you over to Wrongplants moderators; I'm sure you can find the thread here.

At the time, I didn't have access to a list of rules, so I was making them up as I went - just removing personal info seemed like the best course of action at the time.

Easiest solution is just to not post PMs from now on - and yes, the fact that Korrigan was banned over this sucks, but there's not much we can do about that.