Definitely aspie, welcome to ya!
I recognize many of the things you mention.
Welcome, Marianna
Clearly you have a lot on your mind. First off, please don't be offended that at the time of posting I hadn't read your entire post.
I have a lot of difficulty reading large chunks of text with a lot of information all in one go.
A few other people on this forum have indicated a similar difficulty so I just thought I'd suggest - I hope in a non offensive manner - that you consider breaking longer posts into clearer parragraphs. Much like I do.
Nah, becuz o' trolls, spammers etc.
I don't think you need to make a new post with paragraphs.
G'day Marianna. Have a look around this site I reckon you'll like it!
Short of re-posting it, unfortunately no. Though there have been times an Admin or Mod has done that on someone's behalf.
Don't worry about it too much. It just took me a little longer to read.
I certainly agree that you describe a number of Aspie traits, some of the same ones that I exhibit.
On the subject of conversations with strangers - such as you mention, the 'how goes' and 'how was your weekend' - there are a couple of 'default' non-commital answers you can supply.
I favour, 'It was okay, thanks' and 'not too bad, thanks'. I then turn it back with the default, 'You?', just like you might in a chat conversation.
I have a few NT (neuro-typical) traits, so I can 'Fake' through this conversation with relative ease. I also look 'towards' or slightly past the person while they give their reply.
Especially friends that were not friends after all I notice and recognize. I see that this is a common issue for people with AS.
To be honest, I don't need the chit-chat either and I quite often 'zone' while they blab about their weekend or whatever. Of course, as I said, I seem to have a few NT traits - or the right ones - that mean I have an easier time faking my way through.
Don't over extend yourself if you can't tolerate it. Direct eye contact makes me uncomfortable too so as I said, I look towards them. I tend to pick a spot on the wall just to one side and behind them, or I pick on a feature other then the eyes. I usually pick an ear, or their mouth. Ear because it's on the same level as the eyes. Mouth, because I sometimes have difficulty hearing people clearly if there are other noises.
Hi Marianna
Welcome to AFF--you're not the only one
Hi Marianna, and welcome. We're glad you found us.
I can relate to alot of what you said. I hated PE, too. (I mean really hated it. Try a coach who came to work drunk every day, and every punk and thug in the school in your class.) I, too, had a very early interest in astronomy. I could go on, but for now I'll just leave it at a simple "hello and welcome".
Hello and welcome!
Congratulations on being an Aspie!
The best advice I can give you is this. Find your most useful talent area(s), and nurture, grow, strengthen, and leverage them in your studies and career. You won't believe what that special mind of yours is capable of doing once you go with it and nurture it.
All the best!
Me, yes. Some interest, but like you it wasn't a strong subject.
I guess I could say I'm more geared towards, hands-on practical elements then theoretical. I also learn quicker by physically doing a task. One of my strong areas is 'mechanics'. I have a strong interest in how things work and how they fit together.
I build computers from scratch (when I have the money). I can work out how most things come apart and fit back together, stuff like that.
Yeah. I'm very spatial, to the point of being able to look at say a piece of furniture at a store and work out almost on the spot where it would fit in the home.
Some kids were very taunting and cruel about this. In fact, in elementary school, some teachers thought I was a troublemaker, because I would get tired of the taunting, and sometimes get into fights with the kids who were making fun of me. There was one teacher in particular who was convinced that I was anti-social, and so she moved my desk away from the rest of the class, and sit in a corner all by myself. I'm so glad elementary school is over, a lot of it was nightmarish... Someone says hi, I'll say hi, but that's really it. I hate it when someone asks, "what's up?" or "did you have a good weekend?" It's annoying because I really don't even know what to say. ...I don't even make paragraphs, real sorry about that.
I had horrible experiances in grade school to. Except for me, grade school was the worst I attended because my peers would never leave me alone. In middle school, I beat up other kids to shut them up. I have learned to be a little agressive because that fist fighting actualy did get them off my back. Good thing you won't see that stupid grade school teacher you had again. It looks like she wasn't listening to you or paying attention. My gradeschool teachers didn't help much simply because they didn't know bullying was happening.
The adults aparently could tell that I was very depressed though, since I always walked around, back then, with a deep frown and my eyes looking toward the ground as I walked. My sister went to high school, and it sounds like hell. I'm thankful that homeschooling was given to us. 'sigh' Home schooled kids were far more friendly, and surprisingly easier to get along with. They didn't seem to care how quiet I was at all.
I have also been to college and people think I mostly want to be alone for the same reasons you mentioned. For some peculiar reason they assume that we want to be alone because we don't chat on. Course in my case, I do prefer being alone.
Thanks for the welcome! Yeah, sometimes when they ask "how was your weekend?", I'll just say, "It was okay." Then the conversation will end right there. But as for when people say "What's up?" I don't really have any idea how to respond. Sometimes I'll just say, "Nothing much." I try to avoid these conversations anyway, because I have no use for small talk. I don't see the point in chit-chat. And yeah, I can make direct eye contact for a few seconds at a time if I conciously will myself to. It makes me feel uneasy, but I try.
Same here.
Are you in an Ivy League school, by the way?
Most Aspies are incredible students.
Nah, I'm not in an Ivy League school. I don't think going to an Ivy League school makes anyone more intelligent. There isn't a certain measure of intelligence. People can have different kinds of intelligence. One of my professors said that he knows people who graduated from Harvard who aren't that bright.
What would you suggest to a person* who doesn't have any kind of it, significantly?
I know you'll come up with the argument "if you didn't have any kind of it, you wouldn't be able to write as well as you do" well what you see of me on AFF is not indication of a useful kind of intelligence.
* = Batman55
What would you suggest to a person* who doesn't have any kind of it, significantly?
I know you'll come up with the argument "if you didn't have any kind of it, you wouldn't be able to write as well as you do" well what you see of me on AFF is not indication of a useful kind of intelligence.
* = Batman55
Hmm, what are you talking about? Are you saying that you don't think you have any kind of intelligence? Don't be so hard on yourself, you are probably quite intelligent. People do have different kinds of intelligence, like I said. Some people may be bad at math, for example, but good at writing.
I read once that when Thomas Edison went to school, he got such bad grades that the teachers thought it best that he just quit school all together, after just the fifth grade. We all know that the rest is history...he went on to invent over a thousand inventions...including things we take for granted every day now.
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I probably am too hard on myself.
I appear to have a massive motivational problem, as well.