Lienda Balla
04-10-2007, 11:30 PM
I read a couple of books that had the writers' oppinions about being abusive while talking. It is meant for NTs pretty much, but for me they made sence. They both wrote how some people don't totaly do it on purpose, but that still too many people do anyway deliberatly. One thing I saw repeated to was the "..because I said so" concept. They claim that it happens when someone else tells us what they think we are, how we should live or do things, or how we are feeling, regardless if they know anything or not.
I hear about alot of NTs and some others abusing each other like that. For one example...right here in AFF, some one put something kind of like ... "Your lives would be better if you bothered to pay attention to your social skills." Obviously they didn't understand what alot of us on the spectrum are dealing with or how hard we have already tried for that matter. They replied again with the same attitude with.. "Why keep yourselves in a little box? Can't you just act different than you are right now?" Personaly, I think some people had a right to be offended by such a thing because it's not very sensitive or polight to just tell people who they are and what they are 'supposed to do".
Granted, people have their oppinions, but I don't think that gives anyone the right to be abusive in that way. So, if someone had said something with that kind of "because I think so" attitude, they better expect some name calling soon because people have a right to be mad about recieving rude things in their face. I also read about lots of real world places where mostly NTs have decided to be "helpful" but actualy say harmful things even though they think they are helping. I think it's great that some people are willing to stand up and say "Hey don't call us a disease or say we are broken and/or can't speak for ourselves. Don't tell the whole world that we aren't inside this body because we are!"
"You are wearing something that is ugly and everyone is going to hate you for it. Your day will go better if you dress in this other outfit over hear, and people will actualy consider you attractive if you eat pizza and coke instead of that borish, geeky chicken sandwitch and milk. Can't you eat beef or pork for once?" Now that doesn't sound like a very logical statment, in my oppinion
Same thing as "People will like you better if you talked more and had more friends. Can't you just try a little?" It's niave because they don't know if the person they just said it to might be alergic to something in pizza or even to beef and coke. And, what if he didn't eat pork because of his religion? Yet, they just told them that they basicaly 'have to' eat that way and dress their way, and for what purpose? Public image? To be a 'better", more normal person? That is not logical or rational!
It's rude to call someone's outfit ugly to their face. They may think it is ugly, but that didn't give them the right to say so. There isn't any proof to even suggest that all the people around him will actualy hate them for the outfit or what they eat. Need I go on? I hear about alot of NTs acting this way, and some too many good NTs get to look bad thanks to them. The media seems to just enjoy calling non-majority people 'helpless', broken, or some other kind of name calling.
The negative norms (not the good ones) want to tell us 'other people' how to act, move, sound, look, and yes sometimes eat even. Nonsence! The paragraph in parenthises didn't look like helpfull language and NTs or anyone else would be offended by being told that they aren't dressing or eating right. Yet, so many cultures want to tell us how we are supposed to be and how our "lives will be messed up" because of our so called mental problems, despite the fact that some of them are makeing it harder themselves.
Maybe alot of people don't grasp yet, that telling other people how they should be someone else is actualy very hurtful, toxic, and abusive? There is plenty of reason for standing for our rights as people. Especitly since media has been addictivly been calling autistic people a disease, in a way. It would be a great improovment, I think, that more people learned first how to know who the person the see for who they are instead of assuming that the label or diagnosis tells all.
I hear about alot of NTs and some others abusing each other like that. For one example...right here in AFF, some one put something kind of like ... "Your lives would be better if you bothered to pay attention to your social skills." Obviously they didn't understand what alot of us on the spectrum are dealing with or how hard we have already tried for that matter. They replied again with the same attitude with.. "Why keep yourselves in a little box? Can't you just act different than you are right now?" Personaly, I think some people had a right to be offended by such a thing because it's not very sensitive or polight to just tell people who they are and what they are 'supposed to do".
Granted, people have their oppinions, but I don't think that gives anyone the right to be abusive in that way. So, if someone had said something with that kind of "because I think so" attitude, they better expect some name calling soon because people have a right to be mad about recieving rude things in their face. I also read about lots of real world places where mostly NTs have decided to be "helpful" but actualy say harmful things even though they think they are helping. I think it's great that some people are willing to stand up and say "Hey don't call us a disease or say we are broken and/or can't speak for ourselves. Don't tell the whole world that we aren't inside this body because we are!"
"You are wearing something that is ugly and everyone is going to hate you for it. Your day will go better if you dress in this other outfit over hear, and people will actualy consider you attractive if you eat pizza and coke instead of that borish, geeky chicken sandwitch and milk. Can't you eat beef or pork for once?" Now that doesn't sound like a very logical statment, in my oppinion
Same thing as "People will like you better if you talked more and had more friends. Can't you just try a little?" It's niave because they don't know if the person they just said it to might be alergic to something in pizza or even to beef and coke. And, what if he didn't eat pork because of his religion? Yet, they just told them that they basicaly 'have to' eat that way and dress their way, and for what purpose? Public image? To be a 'better", more normal person? That is not logical or rational!
It's rude to call someone's outfit ugly to their face. They may think it is ugly, but that didn't give them the right to say so. There isn't any proof to even suggest that all the people around him will actualy hate them for the outfit or what they eat. Need I go on? I hear about alot of NTs acting this way, and some too many good NTs get to look bad thanks to them. The media seems to just enjoy calling non-majority people 'helpless', broken, or some other kind of name calling.
The negative norms (not the good ones) want to tell us 'other people' how to act, move, sound, look, and yes sometimes eat even. Nonsence! The paragraph in parenthises didn't look like helpfull language and NTs or anyone else would be offended by being told that they aren't dressing or eating right. Yet, so many cultures want to tell us how we are supposed to be and how our "lives will be messed up" because of our so called mental problems, despite the fact that some of them are makeing it harder themselves.
Maybe alot of people don't grasp yet, that telling other people how they should be someone else is actualy very hurtful, toxic, and abusive? There is plenty of reason for standing for our rights as people. Especitly since media has been addictivly been calling autistic people a disease, in a way. It would be a great improovment, I think, that more people learned first how to know who the person the see for who they are instead of assuming that the label or diagnosis tells all.