My friends are... no one. I don't have friends, so I am not afraid of losing them if I told people I had AS.
But the thing is... I have no friends! So why should students in my class know? I barely interact with anybody at school in the brakes. Why would anyone need to know if they don't meet that as a problem?
Also, people don't really like me already and I wonder if I told I had AS it would only make things worse. They have had some suspicions about me, thinking I am vigrid(nazi) or something. Telling I have AS could maybe rid off some suspicions, but it could also create more.
You are correct. Do not tell anyone, people are prejudiced. If you want to work on being more sociable, there are great resources I could PM you.
The best thing you could do would just be to work on being more sociable, if you live in a city, going to bars/clubs and crashing and burning there 4-5 nights a week at different places until you get socialized and used to it.
Whats your main beef with people? fear? anxiety? weirdness? you dislike "small talk", etc?
Well, if you don't want to have friends that's a perfectly valid choice. I don't think the advice from soTMH is the best thing to follow.
And how would you know exactly? You're a bit presumptuous don't you think?
The thing that has mainly prevented me from interacting is that I don't like the thought of it. I have no interest in having friends.
You sound similar to me, at least from what I can tell. Anyway, you do evenutally want a girlfriend/relationship, and down the line, wife right? At some point socialization / some friendships will be necessary, otherwise it will come off badly to women (if you're hetero which I assume you are) and that will definitely suck.
Girls who are highly socialized will think its weird you dont have any friends, they place a lot of emphasis on gregariousness and social value in their choice of boyfriends, etc. You dont have to a super social guy but being personable has benefits even if it causes you pain (as you adjust) if want to practice like mad and get good at it.
I watched, Arnold Schwarzennegars (spelling?) pumping iron for inspirition to get over my fear and distaste for socializing, after all after you watch and listen to what some people put themselves through it gives you motivation to push yourself and add new skills to repetoire.
I'm just putting how I feel (and have felt) down here so you can compare how you feel. Before I became more socialized I experienced agitation / annoyance, anxiety and pressure to perform in social situations. But I have also discovered the fact that I am not psychologically rewarded very strongly for interacting socially with people. (i.e. we get no juice/energy/stimulation out of the interaction, or if we do its so little as to not garner our interest).
For me doing the "hard knocks", going out and ramdomly chatting people up in different social venues was stressful but its like a huge block of ice, you have to chip away at it and melt it to some degree to get used to it. In my opinion socializing many times still feels like working to me, but it has big payoffs down the road when you need it.
Well, if you don't want to have friends that's a perfectly valid choice. I don't think the advice from soTMH is the best thing to follow.
And how would you know exactly? You're a bit presumptuous don't you think?
Because it's not in all of our natures to want to socialise a lot. Not all Aspies want to get married. I don't think I'm presumptuous here, just realistic.
True enough but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to have a girlfriend or at least the capability of holding down relationships.
I used to be so afraid of telling anyone that I had aspergers. I feared never being anyones real friends, everyone giving me weird looks, and bla bla bla.
But It took days of thinking it over and over of how, if I ever got the chance, to tell my friends that I had aspergers. And when that day did come, it was less of an ordeal than I immagined it was.
"You're autistic?"
"Yeah, but its a mild form."
"So?"
It was like it didn't change a thing. They asked me a few questions. I answered a few, but one of them (which I don't remember) made me a little nervous. I did answer it, but it fell silent for a moment, probly for a second. Then one of my friends said (while chuckling):
"Yep, he's autistic."
The way he said it got a laugh out of all of us
On our vacations if my son doesnt want to do something my husband or I will stay at the hotel or go wherever he wants and my typical son will go with the other parent that way everyone has a good time. My ASD son usually likes jumping on the beds in the hotel or running laps around the room - I join him and he finds it so hysterical.
[quote=Fistfullo1337]
My mother used to scream at me when I wouldn't go with her to do things on summer vacation:
"What do you want me to let you become a hermit!!!"
Its hard to explain emotion while typing, but you get the point. Â
My only saving sanity grace was that of a NES.  Ahhh, sweet, sweet Super Mario Bros. Â
I used to wonder why it was easier to type things out than to actually "talk" to someone in person. Â
Yes. My friend also said I had to learn to block out bad noises. But I can't wear earplugs in the restaurant or any other shop when I'm ordering because then I won't be able to hear the staff. I am seriously thinking of writing my order on a piece of paper and handing it to them.
Wearing ear plugs would be a disability for you (since you do not have experience being deaf), besides they make me feel claustrophobic. I have two people sit down next to me right here & now at the computer talking loudly. I was frantically trying to figure out how to get some music playing on this computer (I am at the public library) but couldn't . I was on the verge, but I finally gave them some pointed looks and that did quiet them down.
They have a therapeutic listening program that helps block out noises and helps focus on people's voices. They are trying that with my son as he has the same difficulty. Its headphones that play classical music in varying pitches- not sure how it works I never used them
Yes. My friend also said I had to learn to block out bad noises. But I can't wear earplugs in the restaurant or any other shop when I'm ordering because then I won't be able to hear the staff. I am seriously thinking of writing my order on a piece of paper and handing it to them.
.
people don't really like me already and I wonder if I told I had AS it would only make things worse.
I find it really hard to imagine people not liking you.  You seem so great!
I find it really hard to imagine you still in school dealing with all that social crap. You seem so mature!
If you want to work on being more sociable, there are great resources I could PM you.
Could I talk you into sharing this info with all of us...?
Whatever.
I am definitely not going to tell my aspieness in a big holy decleration to the whole of my class simultaneosly, it could be more of a short comment and not make any fuss of it. Just acting like it is totally normal thing.
Is it that you don't want friends or you don't want to be firends with the neaderthals you attend school with ?