Aspies For Freedom

I find it really hard to imagine people not liking you.  You seem so great!

The reasons I would be afraid to "come out" are:

Afraid people at work might respect me less or want to get rid of me if they get an image in their heads that I am mentally incompetent, mentally inferior or they get uncomfortable about having to work with somebody "weird".

Right now I have a network of friends who respect me for being highly skilled in one sport and who see me as an influential leader who has it together.  They seek to learn skills from me. They've entrusted me with running their organization and investing their money.  Some of them say they want to be like me.  I'm afraid if they found out, I'd always be an outsider in their minds, never quite as good and they'd worry that it would be unsafe for me to continue teaching. If I lost their respect, I'd have no self worth left, as pathetic as that sounds.

I work in molecular psychiatry, so there was no problem with "coming out" at work.  On a personal level, it's a "need to know" thing--and I determine "need to know".  After all, if a man's homosexual it doesn't mean he's necessarily flaming.

My mother used to scream at me when I wouldn't go with her to do things on summer vacation:

"What do you want me to let you become a hermit!!!"

Its hard to explain emotion while typing, but you get the point.  

My only saving sanity grace was that of a NES.  Ahhh, sweet, sweet Super Mario Bros.  

I used to wonder why it was easier to type things out than to actually "talk" to someone in person.  

Then I realized that NT's really don't care what you have to say anyway.

Reasons I won't come out (I have to my two best friends, one who didn't understand it)

My parents don't want me to because they feel like people won't believe me and think I'm a nut, and that they hadn't noticed anyway so now why tell them. (It is my life though.)
People might treat me differently or treat me like I'm challenged because they don't understand it.
I was bullied so they might go and tell everybody, however that would just make them look pretty bad.

Reasons I would say anything: If someone kept pointing things out that I did that are because of AS, then I would tell them. Like "can you not see I'm upset? What is wrong with you? Do you show empathy at all?" Then I'd have to say something.

erkolos, I know what you mean. There is a kid who has AS who actually tells people and explains it to them and he still gets picked on and called a loser. What I feel bad about is that he's not the smartest person, and so has a hard time defending himself. I feel bad for him that they do that, and the school does 0 about it.

I wonder how many aspies decide against coming out due to the press about the VA masacre.  It certainly has given me pause

It seems to depend so much on a person's individual situation, gauging from the various posts you've made.  For some people it may not be appropriate, or it may be appropriate to share only with certain people.  On the other hand, I'm a strong believer in education and advocacy, so when it can be shared with people in a positive way, I'm all for it.

I wouldn't be surprised if some people here on AFF felt you were a long distance friend to them of sorts.  Would you find that distasteful?

Exactly the way to do it!  Yes!

The way I have been doing it or have done it, is I spent about three days doing a writeup and adding information (its here actually) about Autism and AS etc. but don't mention that I have it...at first. I challenge the way the reader would think about it or inform them about the different types and explain. Than I finally say I have it and explain why so that they didn't have a prejudiced opinion beforehand. This has worked. Over the phone to my Uncle it took 45 minutes to explain and I answered all of his questions. After it has been explained, they understand. I haven't directly told people, the article is on my Facebook, and I have made no mention of it in any other writeups either. I am very supportive of autistics and autism rights and so I would answer and explain anything asked (if I knew the answer).

I'd enjoy doing so too. They're a clique. All 10 of them got together and made up false charges and had me arrested. That's how far they went and since then I started homeschooling (second semester grade 12). It seemed at the time that whatever tactic I used didn't work. Even leaving them alone resulted in what they did.

The thing is, when you're telling somebody, it's an issue of 'here's the info' followed by 'I have this diagnosis' with a big dose of 'I'm not a different person now from the one I was 5 seconds ago before I told you this.'  I can't phrase it too well now, but that's what it boils down to.  Of course, you have to decide who can handle this & who can't, and when and whether you choose to share the information.

Well some of them have known me since I was 10 years old, if they're going to treat me differently now than they're just a-holes.

I get where you're coming from Pakrat, that is why I just don't go ahead and tell people unless they have 40 minutes for me to sit there and explain it to them, because the image is too construed in people's minds. If you speak, you aren't autistic to them and are a nut. So its better to just say you have a phobia.

I do like speaking up about it though, and if someone was making fun of someone who is autistic, I'll say something. I corrected my friend when he kept calling another kid who had AS a "*i*k." It just depends on the person you tell. My friend who is an honour student got it right away, and another friend did because he revealed his brother is on the spectrum with AS.

But your point is very valid, and that is why I don't tell someone without a proper explanation. Hence the writeup that challenges their views. That's the only place you'll find mention of it.