Aspies For Freedom

"Five" (original poster of this thread) suggested I might be a 6. Energeia, many months ago, you said I might be a 6.

What do you guys think about this?

Is 6 fairly common on the spectrum?

Yetti Wrote:

Marieke Wrote:

Yetti Wrote:

energeia Wrote:

It can shed light on certain types of conflicts or disconnects between pairs of individuals. For example, it helped me to realize that my boss is a flaming 7.��Great at visionary, not so great at detail-oriented follow-through.��And a master at reframing conversations or situations.��Stuff that used to bother me I now think is amusing.

IMHO, that is just character .. and one can judge character and not ones soul.��There are other ways but if it helps some aspies.. who am I to blow against the wind.. My philosophy is whatever works for you.

I have a question>

If one is happy in career, fortune, personal life, then why would they need aspie support?��My best friend asked me that.. she is an aspie.. I can tell.. I am of the believe knowledege is power...

She is not happy because of her social situation....��
For me... I feel there is always room for improvement, hence I come to these boards, read and go to the real world support groups.

I feel however after a while I have received all I can to a certain degree and just reading and going to the national conferences for new info will be just as good to keep abreast on new developments.

Except for seeing my weak points as an aspie as well as strong points, but in these support groups there seems to be mostly weak points with most there..

I think I will stay until I feel I am not getting enough benefit of education because in all honesty , they get me down with their hostility, lack of ability to get a joke, lacking social skills.. Its like a snake pit!��BOY it tells me��what not to do!

Granted NTs are not the best people in the world.. they have their massive challenges...

Unless I can do something to help besides myself, I Don't feel a need to go.��They are just "Rotten " to be around and at the same time so sad , and I feel those of us who found the way , have the answer, but they have to "wanna" enough to behave if they want help.

I am NOT a therapist, but I have answers... I Just feel at my age, like my friend, who needs the added strife and burden..

IF I want misery , I can just go to a family reunion on my mothers side <G>��There are enough aspies and OCDer to fill a poison bottle.��Snappy, nasty, can't take jokes, can't give jokes, always with a chip on their shoulder.

My husband said to stay until I don't want to go any more.. I Think that sums it up.

Yetti... you're pretty new to this Aspie thing, and from some of your replies in other threads I can tell that you don't get all aspects of Aspie socialization yet... Living in the NT world for 56 years might have given you an edge over some other Aspies, but it also seems to have made you lose the ability to just take things literally... Aspies are often very literal, and I've noticed you reading stuff into things that absolutely weren't intended that way... that were intended as literal as you can get.
Also, some Aspie humor is different from NT humor... you have to get used to it.
Finally... it's logical for people (especially in support groups) to focus more on their weaknesses and how to deal with them than with their strengths... Unless you like to brag, of course...

FYI... you seem to be saying that most or all Aspies (other than you) are rotten... you're saying this on an Aspie forum... that's likely to not go over well. If you don't feel at home here, you're welcome to go somewhere else where you feel more at home... I'm not telling you to leave... just saying that this forum was not created to be rude to Aspies at large, afaik. Generalizations like that can and do hurt (some) Aspies. Some Aspies are more Aspie than others, some had more support (whether diagnosed or not) during childhood and beyond than others and some hence have better coping skills than others... this is not something to go and act superior over... the people at Cure Autism Now are doing a good enough job of acting superior already.
Sorry if I misunderstood your statements about other Aspies, but my husband got the same impression from reading your posts and I know at least one other Aspie that also did, so if we're misunderstanding you then perhaps it's a good idea to figure out how to be more clear in the future.

Now you are reading into things... Seeming to say is your assumption... no .. I Know there are aspies out there who are not getting diagnosed or treated and are quite happy.. to me��a support group is about all the good the bad and the ugly... I am not a negative person but I do get tired of a lot of whining when there is good advice and not just from me... I Like to focus on the positive... all i see is people passing up not only my advice which you are focused on ME as usual... but others good advice... I read a lot of great advice on here only to see the same person go on and on about the same problem...

Support groups also celebrate success and look to the positive to help.. not just misery loves company... And BTW several told me that most who go to these internet or support groups are the ones with the severest problems that many are adusting fine and do not seek these places... I am beginning to think they are right.. It did not come from me but others who are Aspies and NTs..

So stop with Yetti��is bragging etc etc.. I think I am getting a lot of good information from all sides and take it all in.... NOthing wrong with being happy! Smile Try it sometimes.. it feels good.

My husband agrees as do many I have talked with ....

I tried starting a positive support group and I basically get are the ODDs and people who never take advice.. its incessant complaints... NO JOY!

One kid on this line talked about his getting scholarship... I did not se many congratuate him as should have...

This is all way too negative for me.. and I think I will be leaving all these forums and support groups... I can go to the conferences myself and learn first hand...

Some just want to blame others and stay miserable all their lives esp the adults... and look for company who share the same misery , not to help but to pat each other on the back that no there is no hope...

It gets old!

To assume that support groups and internet groups only have Aspies with the severest problems, and "most Aspies in the world are getting along fine," is one of the most insipid and outright self-righteous statements I've ever read.

Unless that's your "symbolic NT" talking? I'm just supposed to find a pretty subtext in all that, huh?

Yetti Wrote:

anbuend Wrote:

What Five said makes sense.

But it also only makes sense if the solutions offered actually match the problems in question.��

It is a problem to refuse to do something when there is a way to do it.

It is also a problem to offer solutions that do not fit the problem and then complain (when people are not jumping up and down with gratitude for your solution) that nobody wants to solve their problems.

Imagine the "teach a man to fish..." analogy.

One person sees the hungry person and only gives pity.��That is a problem.

Another person sees the hungry person and gives them fish.��That is better than the first person, and possibly a temporary solution, but still could be a problem if the hungry person is capable of getting their own fish.

A third person tries to teach the hungry person to fish.��This third person does so by telling the hungry person to hang a fishing net in the tree next to their house.��The hungry person says, "But there are no fish in the air."��The third person gets disgruntled with the hungry person and says "Don't be so negative, do you want fish or don't you?"

The fourth person actually shows the hungry person how to catch fish in the lake by the house.

The tricky part is that the third person is dead certain that he's actually identical to the fourth person.

I see your point but I don't see many people inquiring further how to fish... you try to communicate and in a week they are back with self pity and I can't do it.. or avoidance to solve the problem...

This forum does not lend itself to a learning environment.

Yes, I think you've earned the antagonism. Just criticize the forum directly. Or is that more NT symbolism?

Yetti Wrote:

The more I read on the board, the more I think I will just live my life out and not get involved with the aspergers movement.

Oh crap, you must have stumbled onto my posts now. I have that effect on people, sometimes.

Who gives a crap really. Self-loathing (glass is half empty) is how I live, always has been. I've known succesful folks like that as well.

It's your problem, not mine.

Yetti Wrote:

Now you are reading into things... Seeming to say is your assumption... no .. I Know there are aspies out there who are not getting diagnosed or treated and are quite happy.. to me��a support group is about all the good the bad and the ugly... I am not a negative person but I do get tired of a lot of whining when there is good advice and not just from me... I Like to focus on the positive... all i see is people passing up not only my advice which you are focused on ME as usual... but others good advice... I read a lot of great advice on here only to see the same person go on and on about the same problem...

Support groups also celebrate success and look to the positive to help.. not just misery loves company... And BTW several told me that most who go to these internet or support groups are the ones with the severest problems that many are adusting fine and do not seek these places... I am beginning to think they are right.. It did not come from me but others who are Aspies and NTs..

So stop with Yetti��is bragging etc etc.. I think I am getting a lot of good information from all sides and take it all in.... NOthing wrong with being happy! Smile

Try it sometimes.. it feels good.

My husband agrees as do many I have talked with ....

I tried starting a positive support group and I basically get are the ODDs and people who never take advice.. its incessant complaints... NO JOY!

One kid on this line talked about his getting scholarship... I did not se many congratuate him as should have...

This is all way too negative for me.. and I think I will be leaving all these forums and support groups... I can go to the conferences myself and learn first hand...

Some just want to blame others and stay miserable all their lives esp the adults... and look for company who share the same misery , not to help but to pat each other on the back that no there is no hope...

It gets old!

Just to reiterate:

Talk about "Aspies are self-righteous."

energeia Wrote:

Batman55 Wrote:

"Five" (original poster of this thread) suggested I might be a 6.��Energeia, many months ago, you said I might be a 6.

What do you guys think about this?

Is 6 fairly common on the spectrum?

You could look into 6.��Or also try looking into 4.
I doubt that anyone has done a scientific study of autism and E types--the info would be pretty anecdotal. But 6w5 wouldn't be surprising, in my opinion.

Based on what I've read of your postings, you appear to be a "reactive" type.

Do either set of these "transformations" resonate with you?

Type 6

I now release...

my fear of being abandoned and alone.
my self-defeating, self-punishing tendencies.
all feelings of dread about the future.
feeling persecuted, trapped, and desperate.
overreacting and exaggerating my problems.
taking out my fears and anxieties on others.
being suspicious of others and thinking the worst of them.
feeling inferior and incapable of functioning on my own.
feeling cowardly and unsure of myself.
acting "tough" to disguise my insecurities.
my fear and dislike of those who are different from me.
blaming others for my own problems and mistakes.
being evasive and defensive with those who need me.
my tendency to be negative and complaining.
my fear of taking responsibility for my mistakes.
looking to others to make me feel secure.

I now affirm...

that I am independent and capable.
that I can keep my own identity in groups and in relationships.
that I have faith in myself, my talents, and my future.
that I meet difficulties with calmness and confidence.
that I am secure and able to make the best of whatever comes my way.
the kinship I have with every human being.
that I am understanding and generous to all who need me.
that I act courageously in all circumstances.
that I find true authority within me.

Type 4

I now release...

turning my anger and aggressions against myself.
all self-hatred and self-contempt.
all feelings of hopelessness and despair.
all self-sabotaging thoughts and actions.
feeling that I am inadequate and defective.
the fear that I am unimportant and undesirable.
feeling shameful and misunderstood by others.
being distraught, fatigued, and inhibited.
feeling that people always let me down.
all unrealistic expectations of myself and others.
all claims of needing to be treated differently.
all self-indulgence in my emotions and behavior.
all self-doubt and emotional vulnerability.
wanting to protect myself by withdrawing from others.
all wasteful fantasies and romantic longings.
dwelling on the past to prolong my feelings.
I now affirm...

that I am not defined by my feelings.
that only the feelings I act on express who I am.
that I open myself up to people and the world.
that I use all of my experiences to grow.
the goodness of my life, my friends, and myself.
that I love myself and treat myself gently.
that I am free of the damage of my past.
that I am transforming my life into something higher.
that I am bringing something good and beautiful into the world.

Type 6 transformation, definitely resonates.

Five Wrote:

energeia Wrote:

Batman55 Wrote:

"Five" (original poster of this thread) suggested I might be a 6.��Energeia, many months ago, you said I might be a 6.

What do you guys think about this?

Is 6 fairly common on the spectrum?

The only information we have is written texts and answers from people, so there is a risk of typing persons wrongly. But having said that, I think Batman55 is a 6. One thing you do, Batman55, is ask a lot of questions (like type 6, the questioner), but I see many more clues. By the way, there are 2 kinds of 6 (like a 1, feeling supports doing, or like a 2, doing supports feeling).
Batman55: another way of typing people is my own feeling about them, whether I like them or not, and in what degree, and why.
To check your type: in what circumstances do you postpone something? For example, I postpone when I don't know enough to act, have insufficient information. When do you postpone?

I postpone when I don't have the feeling to do it, or if my mood is down. Everything is run by feeling, for me. Mostly.

Information has little to do with it. I'm not logical or practical.

On closer examination, it seems Type 4 transformation is also very close to my experience.

I can't be sure...

Five Wrote:

6s do one thing continuously: they doubt. That's also a strength, it's a scientific attitude.

4s postpone when something is boring, when they are not in the mood.
6s postpone when they have to take a profile, when they have to act as an authority.

I do all of these things.

I don't know what's up. Does this mean 6w4 or 4w6 or..?

Five Wrote:

6s do one thing continuously: they doubt. That's also a strength, it's a scientific attitude.

4s postpone when something is boring, when they are not in the mood.
6s postpone when they have to take a profile, when they have to act as an authority.

I'd have to say that the most outstanding trait for me is in bold. But the others are things I do, as well.

energeia Wrote:

Batman--try on 6w5 for size.

I see it as more 6w4.

Batman55 Wrote:

energeia Wrote:

Batman--try on 6w5 for size.

I see it as more 6w4.

My mistake: I just realized that there are only 18 possible combinations on the Enneagram, and 6w4 is not one of them.

Shows what I know.

It seems 6w5 does make quite a bit of sense for me, actually.

necrobump

i took the test from the first page,and got a type 5w6

Five Wrote:

All INTs are 5s. Not all 5s are INTs.

No, not all INTs are 5s. Most probably are, but it's not uncommon to find INTJ 6s on Enneagram boards, and in academia. Few people identify as INTP 6s. Legend has it that INTP 9s and INTJ 1s are also fairly common.

Quote:

5 is the only enneatype which can be either INT or IST.

No...6s, 9s,and 1s can be INTs or ISTs too. My father is an ISTP 6w5. But for these types, unlike 5, INT's and IST's are probably a minority, as the I and the T are not mandatory in those types.

FWIW, I'm an InTP (weak N) 5w6, non-autistic.

Five Wrote:

Hi Quickduck Smile

, nice avatar you have. Mine becomes invisible sometimes.

As I see it, what an enneatype 9 (a peacemaker) or some other types can do intuitively (to prevent conflicts, or to mediate) must be possible for others to do in a conscious manner too, based on knowledge and learned insights. If on AFF we would know eachother's enneatypes, and have an understanding of the specific ways the types are motivated and think, that would be a tool to keep discussions from getting too intense and too serious. I wonder what would happen if we cannot only see the contents of what the other person writes in his or her post, but also interpret the form, the container, correctly, what the other's real purpose is, what is meant. After all, and not everybody will agree with this, but "that doesn't change the fact" (joking now, said something exactly in the way a 5 would say it): we are all connected; it is like the left hand of a body fighting with its own right hand. Neither can win....

Wanna make a bet?

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