Aspies For Freedom

Kids With Asperger's Syndrome: 'Bullied on a Daily Basis'

High-Functioning Form of Autism Causes Social Awkwardness and Angst
By JOHN DONVAN, CAREN ZUCKER and ERIC JOHNSON

April 4, 2007 — - Growing up, Daniel Corcoran was the odd kid at school. He wasn't slow, but his coordination was off, and he tended to obsess on certain subjects, like light bulbs and air conditioners. At the time, his preoccupations with random objects seemed quirky, but harmless.

But when Corcoran entered middle school, his quirks were not accepted by many of his classmates and his life became a social nightmare filled with name calling and other cruelties.

Corcoran is now out of middle school and a sophomore at Ramapo College in Mahwah, N.J. His uncomfortable encounters persist, especially after taking the dangerous step of "coming out," as he puts hit, with his condition. Corcoran has Asperger's syndrome, and his decision to announce the disorder yielded mixed results from his peers.

Watch the full story tonight on "Nightline" ABC at 11:35 EDT

Asperger's syndrome is a form of high-functioning autism, characterized by social isolation and eccentric behavior during childhood. "It means my brain is different," Corcoran said.

Twelve-year-old Noah Orent also has Asperger's, and like Corcoran, he's mild-mannered and began to get bullied at an early age.

"I was just merely called 'Game Boy freak' or stuff. There was one kid that was the worst. He just called me names and he was not nice," Noah said. "He was mean -- mean to the bone. I was so mad that I couldn't let out my anger. I was just like hiding it. I just didn't feel like being at that school anymore."

'Bullied on a Daily Basis'

Noah is not alone, and some school systems are working on a solution to the social angst that affects many with the disorder. Jed Baker, a psychologist who works with many kids with Asperger's, found out the situation for kids with the disorder was very severe.

"In some areas, there have been reports of 90 percent of kids with Asperger's are getting bullied on a daily basis," he said.

Baker consults for the Milburn New Jersey Middle School, which has stepped up its focus on children with Asperger's and other conditions. His primary mission is to build a healthy social network of these kids. At Milburn, he partners children with Asperger's with volunteers from the student body.

"Building social skill groups, where we're creating an atmosphere of an accepting peer groups so these kids don't feel isolated," Baker said. "They have people who are at least friendly to them."

Working with what were once called the "uncool kids" has become a cool thing to do, and kids like Noah don't get picked on. "I was learning about basically just how to make friends and stuff," Noah said. "I mean, at my old school I never had many friends."

"When we moved, I was so happy to be finally away from them. I felt better," he said. "So then I started here and now I'm having a lot of friends. I like the school, the staff, even Dr. Baker. And I'm having a good time."

'Trying Too Hard'

As for Daniel Corcoran, it's too late to go back to middle school, but he's grown content with where he is now.

"I couldn't be happier, you know," Corcoran said. "I could be, but I mean this is, I haven't felt like in this amazing frame of mind since who knows when. It seems like all dreams start to come true."

And while he has grown up in many ways, he still sometimes has bad days. Women and romance now perplex Corcoran as much as the bullies who once tormented him, and the Asperger's is sometimes to blame.

"The thing that I realized -- I have to stop doing what's called trying too hard," he said. "Trying to force a conversation with a girl even if she's not fully interested in talking, asking too many questions, showing signs of being nervous, maybe."

Corcoran said he was building the confidence that was often absent in those with Asperger's.

"As long as I stand my ground, and I am who I'm supposed to be, and I get to love myself for who I am -- others are really really going to love me too," Corcoran said. "I really do think some people are going to like me. And I'm convinced I'm going to meet somebody really special one day."

If Corcoran can picture that day, so can those who have known him all his life. Fitting in while standing out -- it isn't always easy for anyone, but some have to work harder to get there.

That sounds familiar; I was bullied all thru secondary school and the school did nothing. They just told me to "ignore the bullies" or "walk away"; both were worse than useless. How can you ignore a gang of girls all calling you horrible names and pushing you around? If you walk away, they just follow you.

I went to an all girl's school, which just made it worse. I have 3 brothers so I get on better with boys than girls; also, girls can be very bitchy. Anyway, I tried walking away and avoiding the bullies who threatened me with violence for 3 years; in 3rd year, I finally snapped. This girl came up to me and scratched me accross the cheek, drawing blood; I punched her in the face until she fell down then I kicked her repeatedly til a teacher pulled me off her.

I was then suspended for a week for fighting; the girl got no punishment at all, even tho she'd not only started the fight but she'd also threatened me before to "get me after French" causing me to cut class to get away from her. I'd told teachers before of this; they'd done nothing. I was after that branded a "troublemaker"; I was isolated from the rest of the class, often doing my lessons in the deputy head's office. I was the victim, yet I was being punished.

Back then, there was no recognition of Aspergers; but my parents even then were sure there was something up with me. They had me tested for autism, but the test there was then was just for the severe version of autism, so I tested negative on most of the points. My parents weren't satisfied with the school's diagnosis that I was just a troublemaker and an antisocial child and eventually took me out of that school and into a better school that speciallised in kids who didn't do well in mainstream school. I fitted right in there; I'm sure that a lot of those kids were, like me, undiagnosed Aspies.

Sorry to go on, but this topic is a sensitive one with me.

Lace:

Get a load of this.  Mine was a typical American underfunded co-ed public high school.  I had always been a shy geek who just wanted to be left alone, but I had looks going for me (which was bad as often as good).  In my junior year, the class "vice president" took a liking to me, promptly ditching her boyfriend who happened to be a friend of mine.  (Was a friend of mine.  Not after that!)  I wasn't the least bit interested in her, and got really annoyed with her persistence and her friends egging her on.  So I committed a mortal sin, by rejecting a popular girl.  (I was more interested in the quiet, geeky girls anyway, and this bimbo's attention must have surely scared off any of my preferred type that might have been interested.)  Oh, she went crazy, whining to all her friends and trying to get people to intimidate me into talking to her.  I had a few things to say to her, alright, none of which I can repeat here on AFF without the risk of getting banned.

A friend of mine told me of an incident where a bunch of preppy girls were harassing a metalhead girl, and the principal was very nice to the preppies but horrible to the metalhead.  (I've heard that goths get treated like that these days.)

When you say girls can be just as bad, I believe it.  And I'm a guy!

I didn't see this news segment (because I rarely ever watch TV, most of it being such idiotic crap), but the more I hear about stuff like this, the more I want to get back into martial arts and train up to the level of instructor.  Then, I would proceed to assemble a class of misfits (Aspie or otherwise).  I've been seriously thinking about transferring back to my old university town (my current employer being the biggest employer in that town) so I can go back to my old dojo and pick up where I left off.

I'd say that girls are worse than guys in some cases; in primary school, I got into a few scraps with guys, but in every case a few minutes after the fight we were friends again. Never with girls; they hold grudges and can be very catty.

Incidently, after the "fighting" incident at secondary, the physical threats stopped but the verbal abuse continued, which was equally as damaging.

I suppose I was more lucky than most.  Despite having a lot of quirks and being literal minded and missing all hidden social cues, and so on, I was only mildly bullied through grade school.  It was more a feeling of being "left out" because I didn't understand social nuance, but I wasn't consistently bullied.  On this times when I was, I beat myself up a lot because I took what they were saying literally; I thought I was truly "no good" because of it.  This literal-mindedness is one of the things that probably makes Aspies so vulnerable--they can't cope with the slightest criticism and therefore they are an easy target.

Thankfully I managed to hold my own a bit because I was highly creative and a creative personality goes a long way, especially if you have Asperger's.  I have Nicholls-type Asperger's, which is not the most stereotypical kind of AS.  Having Nicholls-type Asperger's has a lot of benefits, despite the struggles being much the same as anyone else with AS.  I was fortunate that I had some classmates who appreciated my creativity, and some of my quirks, as well.

But certainly I can identify with being bullied, I had spurts of that through grade school and high school as well, but thankfully it wasn't a very consistent thing.

Well if you have Nicholls type Asperger's or another type, you still have Asperger's.

How many types of Asperger's are there, and what are they?

Tell me what y'all think of this...

Since we live in a litiguous society, what about lawsuits?  If the victims' families started a trend of suing the bullies' families, do any of you think that would put significant pressure on bullies' parents to get their brats under control?  Get the trend started and keep it up until it's a given that bullying risks litigation.  The bullies' families might resort to solving the problem before it ever goes to court.  (e.g. Military school tuition is probably cheaper than what they might have to pay if they lose a lawsuit.)

Additionally, use grassroots lobbying to try to get more severe punishments for bullies and the parents who let it happen.  I'm not suggesting the Singapore cane here (tempting it may be, though... in front of an assembly).  For example, make the parents of bullies pay per-incident fines that increase with each repeat offense.  Additionally, every time this happens, the bully loses a day's worth of academic credit, with all grades for that day retroactively reduced to zero.  (If there was a midterm exam that day... TOUGH!)  If all that fails to stop a bully, make the bully spend a night in a juvenile detention center (preferably in isolation so (s)he doesn't network with the other punks while in there).  If it continues after that, have the state investigate the bully's family.  (It's a known fact that bullies are often victims of child abuse.)

Additionally, use grassroots lobbying to try to get more severe punishments for bullies and the parents who let it happen.  I'm not suggesting the Singapore cane here (tempting it may be, though... in front of an assembly).  For example, make the parents of bullies pay per-incident fines that increase with each repeat offense.  Additionally, every time this happens, the bully loses a day's worth of academic credit, with all grades for that day retroactively reduced to zero.  (If there was a midterm exam that day... TOUGH!)  If all that fails to stop a bully, make the bully spend a night in a juvenile detention center (preferably in isolation so (s)he doesn't network with the other punks while in there).  If it continues after that, have the state investigate the bully's family.  (It's a known fact that bullies are often victims of child abuse.)
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now,i LIKE the sound of that,just make that clear.but.

if you punish them to the degree that they start losing grades,one of two things will happen
1:they will stop.
2:they will continue until they realise how badly they are f-ing up their grades,then get to the point that i am currently at,being the state of '*** it'.and procced to become even worse in an attempt to go out with a 'bang'

If they want to go out with a bang, they'll likely have to do something illegal to accomplish that.  Then they'll have more to worry about than just lost grades.

Is it just me, or is middle school generally the worst? O.o Grades 6 and 7 were a living hell for me.

I found the high school years (grades 9 to 12) to be the worst, mainly because everybody's full of hormones, everybody's starting to drive, etc.  Middle school is alot easier to forget.

7th and 8th grade without a doubt.

I didn't have any real problems in college.  I lived "at home" the first half and then transferred and lived in apartments the second half.  Is it mainly in dorms that there are problems?  I never bothered with dorms.  Of course, there is no guarantee with apartments, whether or not they'll put you upstairs from a bunch of drunken morons.  And not to forget, in the US, "college" means university.  I understand elsewhere it means high school.

I must admit Callista you're one I find to be very interesting and well-read, and would probably be a good friend to have.  Personally at least, because I'm sure you could connect with me on the Asperger's wavelength.  I also have ADD (not diagnosed but it's so damn obvious) so there's even more common ground.