Aspies For Freedom

Labels, labels, labels. This is what I don't like about having diagnosises to begin with. Everyone says, "Oh, you're X! I know what Xs are like. Xs are all the same." or else it's, "You can't be X, because you don't fit my preconcieved notions about Xs. I don't believe you." or "You're an X and I'm a Y. By default, we're too different to ever get along, so just forget about it."

The bold print is the one I personally hate the most.

My therapist was that way essentially: "You're too capable and intelligent sounding, and your mannerisms are highly restrained, for you to have Asperger's."

The other one my therapist said, after I suggested I may have Asperger's: "You may exhibit some outward signs of that, but you're far too capable and functional to let it control you."

I suppose my NT therapist really is that good at putting himself in someone else's shoes.

This would seem to be obvious, but there's also a lot of Aspies who desire social interaction, some almost as much as NTs...

I tend to place things into a black-and-white train of thought, something is either one way or the other--and there's not often much in between.  This is a highly effective approach if you're trying to be systematic or categorical with information, as opposed to integrating data seamlessly.. that is more an NT approach (gray area, abstract thinking, etc.)

My abstract thinking ability is rather deficient, so I prefer the more detailed "lots of separate details" way of thinking--it helps me make up for what I lack in abstract thinking ability.

Whatever.  I understand it is only your opinion that "seven" does not sound autistic and may not "really" be autistic, or something, but personally that doesn't sit well with me.

I am a "possible" Aspie as I am only self-diagnosed, and when I came on this forum, I didn't appreciate people "dismissing" me as someone who only has Attention Deficit with social anxiety (which, to those people, can make an individual think they have Asperger's when they really don't) and therefore I'm "not really Aspie."

I don't really think anyone likes to get "turned away at the door" here, and I speak from the experience of one who was dismissed in that manner... and what's more, I continue to be seen as someone who probably doesn't have Asperger's but really "wants" it, to justify my problems in life.

Deep down, in all honesty, there's two things going on:  I want a reason/excuse for my problems and ongoing "avoidance" of life, but I also know that there is something fundamentally different about me... and Asperger's matches up with many of these differences.

My underlying point is I don't like being "dismissed," and I don't think others do, either.  What gives you the right to say someone "doesn't belong"?  I don't appreciate that sentiment.

Glad to see someone agrees with me on this point.  

I spoke my mind for the benefit of all future ADDers with Social Anxiety (I am one), so they don't have to feel as "left out" initially on AFF, as I did.  I've stated my experiences before as well and they match up fairly well with Asperger's, the Social Anxiety thing kicked in around age 16 but in an "idiosyncratic" manner that I feel Asperger's can account for.

It seems the bold print is "more like" how things happen with me, but perhaps not to the agree to which it occurs in actual HFA.  Because I also get the "focusing on one small part", but in general all of this seems very inconsistent.

I wonder if I'm leaning toward that because I have comorbid ADD, and this "bombardment" is more like a "distraction" sort of...?

Where is my name in this "agreement"?  I believe I had things to state as well, in direct reaction to you, and yet I'm "skipped over."

Thanks for acknowledging my contributions!

I have no problems with you being picky.

What I do have a problem with is you saying things like, "I want a guy who is far more mature" than an Aspie, etc.

If you're going to keep insinuating that Aspie guys are childish in this manner, you may eventually have to put me on your "ignore" list because as an Aspie male myself, I'm not one to tolerate such horribly generalizing, negative labels being thrown around.  However "true" they might be, it's not very nice and just because you're mostly "indifferent" to criticism, doesn't mean others don't get defensive about these things.

To me there is no worst label that an Aspie could receive than "immature"... there are others that are worst, but only cosmetically so.

It seems you're going to have to learn some diplomacy on here, after all, if you don't want to attract some rather justifiable criticism.

Sheesh!

I think I'm a bit more than "half Asperger's," though.

I believe you have just described me to a T.  Verbally manipulative and black-and-white thinking and monologuing (when it's "triggered") are things I'm well known for.

Please don't try to place me in another group outside the spectrum like "Tourette's/rapid cycling bipolar/ADD" combined type... that's just very contrary to what I've learned about myself.  I have known many ADDers AND ADHDers in my life and the only similarity I have to them is inattention and distractibility when faced with boring schoolwork.  That's my honest to God truth.

Now this is true, admittedly: I DO have ADD.  But you'll have to let me be my own diagnostic specialist here:  whatever my ADD is, it's comorbid to my Asperger's self-diagnosis.  I's like to make that a fact but I cannot do so, so how 'bout you "just believe me" for once?

I believe I'm "moderate" AS, although the specific social difficulties I have (for instance, I definitely feel I am living behind glass, and don't "connect") affect certain aspects of functioning profoundly.  You can call me lazy for not working to improve it, but the thing is, I don't even have the impulse or the "instinct" to improve these social things.  It's just not there.

In that case, thank you for confirming what I thought all along:  I'm a complete idiot.  I haven't learned anything useful at all, in 25 years of life.

Now tell me how to convince the other members of AFF who insist on calling me "intelligent."  That's one label that certainly doesn't fit.

I apologize.  Maybe I'm going through a negative "cycle" right now, I seem to be experiencing "identity dysphoria" at the moment, and I'm lashing out at anyone who challenges the identity I have "built up" through being on AFF.

Basically I have an urge to identify with a group of people who have issues similar to mine, perhaps when I even perceive that someone is suggesting I might not belong here (as I have just done with you, and in a rather snide manner--my fault) this whole "dysphoria" flares up and I have to get it out somehow.

For future reference should I assume that when you suggest I might have something besides AS, it's not to suggest I don't have AS?  Perhaps you are suggesting the conditions you are naming might be comorbid to my purported AS, more likely?

That sounds accurate.  I am a black-and-white thinker, in all honesty.

The bold print is me in a nutshell.

I hope you stop believing my Self-DX is unfounded and/or dubious, simply because I haven't written of enough "too obvious" features like frequent stimming (I think I have stims but I'm just not aware of them; although I do have, and have had, many tics) or logical/practical thinking tendencies.

I can't get information about what I was like when I was young, from other sources besides myself: my mother is reluctant to tell me and I have a very poor relationship (non-talking) with my father.