I sort of know what you mean, but I tend not to meet enough Aspies in real life to really be able to tell. There are a lot of things that most Aspies seem to perceive that are just beyond me, and that can be a problem in writing as well (my spoken expression is way below my written expression).
my point being its not fair to ask others to accept them when tehy dont accept others.
That is so painfully true.
To add: It is not only true for AS "vs" Autism but in my view for AS vs NT and others too. (E.g. a tendency to expect NTs to respect our rights but NTs are not "allowed" the same response in return).
I just read the best differentiation between autism and AS in a book called "The Asperger PLUS Child - How to identify and help children with Asperger Syndrome and secen common co-existing conditions". That book is amazing, it is VERY positive and even though I don't usually like the "mythical" sort of approaches (comparing autistics and Aspies to mythical sages and other historical figures), this book does them in a very factual and sensible way.
It also describes very well the "subtype" of AS crossed with Bipolar, which is the one whose rages are often assumed to be part of AS for everybody, with many very positive and insightful tips on how to help someone with AS and Bipolar cope better.
But what really blew me away was the section on differentiating AS from HFA - I am now left with no doubt whatsoever that I am HFA, not AS. The most interesting bit was the idea that Aspies take in only one thing at a time, i.e. they are able to focus really well but find it hard to see the big picture. Whereas with HFA you are more bombarded with "everything" at once ("gestalt processing"), and eventual focus on a part is more a reaction to this bombardment of the senses than stable, intense observation or attention.
The visuo-spatial differences are also elaborated on, and basically the gist is that unless someone has AS and NVLD at the same time, someone with AS will be a visual thinker but also more able to verbalise and to some degree think in words, and as a result their verbal IQ is higher than in HFA and often higher than in the average population too. Whereas with HFA the thinking is much more visual (and spatial), with practical skills higher than those in AS but verbal skills are lower. He gave an example of how he detects visual thinking - he has noticed that people who later tell him they think visually tend to "screw up" their eyes upwards to either the left or right when thinking deeply.
Anyway I would very much recommend this for anyone seriously wanting to learn more about differential diagnosis - this book is well-written and avoids "disability" speak well without coming across as forcibly PC
I have no problems with you being picky.
What I do have a problem with is you saying things like, "I want a guy who is far more mature" than an Aspie, etc.
100% agreement here - personal choice and preference is one thing, but generalisations from ONE person with AS who was not to one's taste to ALL guys with AS are not fair.
Where is my name in this "agreement"? I believe I had things to state as well, in direct reaction to you, and yet I'm "skipped over."
Thanks for acknowledging my contributions!
JennaP was responding to ROSSCO.
She responded to YOU in another post:
Batman 55, I apologize. I did not have any intention to exclude or "turn away at the door." I did not realize I was comming across that way. I did not intend any malice. I actually had a positive point in my mind. However, it is true that some things are best kept to oneself.
"bombardment" is not "distraction"
when you notice eveyrthing around you, its called being hyperaware, this means you takein so much information at once that you have trouble focusing on just one thing.
It *can* be a distraction though when you are trying to focus on something, and can't because you are taking in "everything". Anything that stops you from focusing is a distraction.
Speaking as a general principle-I do not see the world exclusively in black and white, but in SHADES of grey.
Me too...
The point being that not all shades of grey are the same!.
They're different shades, naturally they are not the same!
I find it ridiculous that somehow trying to categorize autistic spectral disorders is so offensive to people here-or that it suggests that I dont have an open mind.
It wasn't the categorising we took offense to (personally) but the uninformed nature of most of those claims which I personally objected to...
because everything IS grey, there is no black or white in life
WRONG
'Black and White' certainly Do exist! Thats not to say there is no grey but the fact remains that you Can compare 2 shades of grey based on these 2 reference points.
Who are you quoting there? I can't find that quote in the last few pages.
Sorry about that I wasn't feeling very well-connected with language when I posted that...
What I meant was that with HFA you tend to get tiny bits of information from all over the place (the whole sensory impact), so it takes a while to focus on something. When you DO finally focus though it is terribly hard to shift that focus onto something else, unless something really catches your attention.
With ADHD, starting to focus is usually less of a problem but you hop from one thing to the next (or rather your attention does).
Wit AS, you tend to focus on one thing for a long time, then shift to the next - shifting information is more conscious/in your conscious control, and the focus on a single subject is more of a "preference" than with HFA - with HFA it is often "can't" do it differently, with AS it is (or at least feels like) mroe a case of "this is just the way I do things".
Noetic,
Once again, your descriptions are right on in my case, anyway! Which is just another confirmation of what you "thought" originally when I first joined here. I'm HFA (with some Asperger traits, perhaps), but truly am mainly HFA. This will sound odd, but how wonderful to keep reading discussions and factual that continue to confirm, and not dispute nor conflict, that I am HFA! It just all continues to "fit" more and more.
So, I guess in effect what I am saying, for what it is worth, is "Yep, that describes it!"
Indeed - a lot of what I quoted here is from the book "The Asperger Plus Child" about differential diagnosis, the author has a brilliant graso of AS vs. HFA
The bold print is me in a nutshell.
I'm glad it made sense this time round
I hope you stop believing my Self-DX is unfounded and/or dubious
I never said I believed that, I hae repeatedly stated that I accept you as you are and that includes your self-diagnosis. I am just reluctant to give you a "confirmation" because I am not qualified and do not know enough to give you that confirmation.
Hrick is also an autie. For him, severe sensory dysfunction is at core of his autism. He does not think many others like him make it to point of being able to engage in the world let alone communicate what the experience is like for them as autists. To the outside observer hrick looks ***, yet he has one of the sharpest minds I have ever encountered. it has taught me,at least, that appearance is unimportant and often greatly deceiving.
A *very* good book that deals with AS vs. HFA, and how processing and sensory stuff differ, is "The Asperger PLUS Child" by George T. Lynn. He has seen dozens of children with both and has noticed a lot of differences. Reading his book was so amazing, because while I have known for a while that I am probably more HFA than AS, it was the first time I really read a description of *precisely* how I seem to function perceptually (on a cognitive level, there are other books, in particular two by Olga Bogdashina about sensory processing and language in autism).
I also figured out, with the help of a fantastic psychiatrist who has a strong interest in autism and ADHD, just how strongly my attentional problems and general way I experience and process the world are down to sensory issues, and to autism.