Aspies For Freedom

this is one of the many reasons why one would shy away from "official" diagnosis.

[/quote] yep, it's getting worse, our lives are going to be like dogs.....

when autism was "rare", diagnosis didn't mean this much sitagism, but now, it's terrible.  i probably won't seek diagnosis for my children (if i have any).
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I believe it's worse in Canada.  Part of the socialization of medicine.  Mandatory medication or nothing...would have to re-research.  Not sure where the controversy stands now.  USA...not so concerned about right now, but if the government gets more intrusive, being on record somewhere as neuro-different could have unpleasant ramifications.

....just as long as it's sparkly

Guardian,
Thank you!!  But I really should be applauding everyone here who has been helping me understand my son.  I am so grateful to have this site it has given me insight into to my son so I now realize why my son does some of the things that he does (chewing on the face cloths, walking on his tippy toes).  As much as the therapist and specialist throw information at you they really don't know!!

sincerely
twokids3dogs

Guardian
I am his only advocate and I try everyday to do the best I can. Him and his little sister are the most important things in my life....I only hope that he will grow up and be who he is and never look back!!
Sincerely,
Twokids3dogs

PS  I'm not sure either...

Callista, I'm the Michele in the article.  I realize it's a year later, and you may not ever see this post, but I'm not that technically adept and it's the only way I could think of to try & reach you.  Which was important to me, because I needed to say a long overdue thank you.

You see, that comment had a huge impact on the way I interact with my son.  You were right - I WAS pre-judging him.  I don't yet know what he's capable of, or who he will become.  What I do know is that I've got a beautiful son that I love - as is.  

I wish the world wasn't such a challenging place for him.  I wish I could figure out how to see the world as he does and alleviate some of his frustrations.  But I don't wish he wasn't autistic.  

Wow Michele!  How amazing that you came here to say that.  It brings tears to my eyes.  I am sure Callista will be very touched!  She is still active and I am sure she will see it.

I love how the people from the articles we discuss actually show up sometimes on this forum.  It's really, really cool.

Thanks :0)  FYI, we've since discovered that it's the *sound* of the haircutting that upsets him...we're using earplugs now and making sure he goes once a month so that much less hair comes off at a time, and it's working better for him.

I am really impressed that you are trying to see the world from his point of view!

I found the most frustrating parts of interacting with the majority of people are:

a) that they will insist on guessing what I'm thinking, instead of simply asking me.

b) that they expect me to guess what they are thinking instead of simply telling me.

Raising my own five and minding my youngest grandson I found that the only way to avoid stressing the child is to explain everything. when they were babies I would keep up a running commentary on what I was doing next, and why. I would stop and wait patiently for them to respond. Just because a baby does not have the muscle control to make words, doesn't mean that they don't have the mental capacity to learn what words mean and every baby I've ever chatted to loves being allowed time to make noises back!

As the children grew, I still explained everything.

This form of communication was natural to me; being autistic it simply never occurred to me that people are 'supposed' to know instinctively what other people are doing/thinking and why! As part of a long line of autistic people it is normal communication in my life to explain everything.
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Thanks for the warm welcome!  I am trying.  What it finally boiled down to for me is that I don't want my son to grow up believing he's disabled.

I should be forward and note here that I still volunteer (heavily) for Autism Speaks.  I do not necessarily agree with *all* of their stated goals (or means of achieving them), and on some of them I'm still figuring out where I stand, but I agree with enough of them that I continue to volunteer there.  I don't wish for it to be a topic of debate, just didn't want my name to possibly come up in some future interview piece and leave anyone thinking, "Huh?  But I thought...."  You get the idea :0)

1. Actually, when people think of autism, they think of shreiking, mentally deficient children with a crippling disease worse than cancer, who are a huge burden on their poor parents, possibl because their fragile little brains are poisoned with mercury- probably because this is the portrayal of autism provided by groups like Autism Speaks. Despite my username, it actually wouldn't be so bad if everyone just thought we were like Rain Man. Better than the b.s. we get for the stereotypes A.S. spews out. Maybe that contributes to it's being so misunderstood.

2. Actually, she works for A.S., so she got involved in fundraising AGAINST autism shortly after her son was diagnosed.

3. Yes, greif is unproductive. It also makes no sense. The only reason to be sad is because we live in a society that operates on arbitrary social rules that put the autistic at a disadvantage.

4. Pat-a-cake is a stupid game. I never played it either. I tried once when I was six, and surmised the point of the game was to slap the other player at some point during the routine. It turns out that that is nt what other people seem to think the point of the game is.

5. Wow! Just like 'normal' people! Gee, autism is so bad! There's a wide a variety of mental ability (measure largely based on the perception of mental ability from the objective approach of a society)! Good thing we have groups to get rid of any personality traits that fall under this very diverse and loose-fitting label! Now we can finally have all normal people with similar minds! Won't it be a happy society?

6. When people ask me what's wrong with me, I say "Nothing. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh, that's right- you become uncomfortable when somebody actually dares to act outside of your narrow societal comfort zone. Hypocrite."

7. His OWN rules and conventions. Ever heard of cultural subjectivity?

8. Remember- lumping all the hideous mutant abnormal children together and resocializing them using techniques developed by neurotypicals will ensure that they can grow up to be beautiful normal people, too! All autstics= bad. All normals= good. Nice lesson, ya know.

9. Becuase most autistic children in the US go through the special education system that doesn;t work and live in a society that ridicules, pities, and patronizes them, making it impossible for them to earn the respect of their peers.

9.  Question: I wonder if they graduate college, grad school does that make a difference?  The employment probably does earn respect.

LOL-- I got out of diapers as soon as everybody else did too (I was averse to wetness).  I was only five years late driving.  I was only six years late with full time salaried employment with benefits (that delay might be two years later than necessary due to prejudice, too).   But I was four years ahead of schedule reading.  LMAO.

It is not fair to talk about relationships as a benchmark for comparison with NTs because NTs set the rules on relationships and they outnumber us 150 to 1, so effectively a relationship is going to involve an NT.  It is their game and their rules and if we lose the playing field is not level.

It'll earn you respect in the academic world- not necessarily the social one.