Aspies For Freedom

Full Version: I like her optimism. Interview with Aspie activist..
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
This is from a suburban Seattle newspaper.
http://www.belltownmessenger.com/042007/...clark.html

    Amy Gravino is a 24-year-old social activist. She writes and speaks on behalf of young people with autism spectrum disorders. Gravino was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, also known as "high functioning autism," when she was eight.

    Asperger's, named for the Austrian psychologist who first described it in a research paper, is a condition with a wide range of symptoms and indicators, appearing in different degrees among different patients. These can include a lack of nonverbal communication skills, physical clumsiness, a disjointed or formal way of speaking, a few obsessive topics of interest, and impaired social abilities.

    Psychologists claim "aspies" (as people with Asperger's often call themselves) tend to feel isolated, unable to fully socialize with "neurotypicals" (people with more ordinary brain functions). But then again, Gravino notes, "I think a lot of people who feel out of place come to Seattle. I've noticed that."

    Gravino originally came to Seattle (from NYC's suburbs) "because of a guy, as much as I hate to admit it. It turned out very badly. He turned out to have had a girlfriend at the time; he'd lied to me and to her. I eventually had the police involved. It was the first time I'd fallen in love with a guy."

    That will be among the stories in her forthcoming memoir, Scrunchie Around My Wrist. She's negotiating with a literary agent to shop it to publishers.

    She explains the title: "When I was younger I used to wear scrunchies [elastic hair bands] around my wrists all the time, because the pressure on my wrists calmed me. Also, in a way, it symbolized my Asperger's, because it had a choke hold on me and my understanding of the world was impaired by it.

    "I stopped wearing the scrunchie in my last year of college. I'm not so at odds in the world. When I went to college, I started making friends. I blossomed in college. The experiences helped me. I had a group of friends for the first time ever. " and I became a stronger, more confident person. I've stopped worrying about fitting in. I'm doing what makes me happy."

    Gravino has appeared at conferences and panel discussions since she was in the eighth grade. Most recently, she spoke at a conference in Los Angeles. "I speak about my experiences; sometimes they want special topics like relationships or education. A woman at this past conference asked me if I felt comfortable sharing my life experiences. I do. What I've been through so far has been a lot, and I think I can help people."

    She's also appeared in two documentaries. The first, Normal People Scare Me, is a series of interviews with people having various "autism spectrum" conditions and their loved ones. The second, A.R.T.S., depicts a program that pairs people on the autistic spectrum with mentors in the arts.

    Gravino's started writing a second book, about dating and relationship issues for Aspies. And she's trying to get into grad school to become a professional autism consultant (a journey which may take her back to the east coast).

    Her business card includes a small photo of her younger self. "The girl on my business card is the girl I'm trying to reach now-the girl who's deafened by the sound of her own pain.

    "When I was a child, I was absorbed in all the pain I was going through and nobody could reach me. There are kids that way now. I feel they should have more of a say in what happens to them.

    "There are no two people with Asperger's who are exactly alike. In some ways the things that make us different actually make us more alike."

Quote:
But then again, Gravino notes, "I think a lot of people who feel out of place come to Seattle. I've noticed that.

LOL **looks out window at the Space Needle, Seattle's most famous building**

Slight correction Max - Belltown is not a suburb (you might have been thinking Bellevue) - it is a neighbourhood of Seattle proper.

I think it is a great article, and I especially agree that college is in many ways a more important experience for Aspies than for others.  I also think that mentors in the arts for those Aspies so inclined is invaluable.

I spent a few years in Seattle working as an audio engineer, producer, and musician - and I found it a welcoming place.  My mentors from there and Olympia helped me not only with my career but also with my personal development.

There is a very "can do" and "do it yourself" vibe that is very welcoming to Aspies.

Great article, great town.

Max the Bear Wrote:
    "I stopped wearing the scrunchie in my last year of college. I'm not so at odds in the world. When I went to college, I started making friends. I blossomed in college. The experiences helped me. I had a group of friends for the first time ever. " and I became a stronger, more confident person. I've stopped worrying about fitting in. I'm doing what makes me happy."


I haven't done these things, because I have extraordinary difficulty doing them, as I have noticed in 25 years of life much more than someone you would call an NT.  I don't have any instincts.  It's all manual and excessive labor for me to blend into social situations.

So, am I supposed to feel bad that I'm not a successful Aspie?

That is what you, Max, seem to imply.  You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems."

That hasn't been the case for me.  I have social impediments that make it difficult for me even when I'm accepted.  I really don't even want a lot of friends, I can't handle more than one or two people at a time.  I really prefer solitude, despite occasional loneliness.  What's wrong with that?  I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, therefore why do nothing that's just "not me"?

Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven't worked on these issues to the same extent as more successful Aspies?

Jesus.  What am I supposed to think, now?

Long live Amy Gravino Smile
Amy Gravino for US presidency Smile
Amy Gravino is also starring in a popular comedy series, called "Amy's Rant". Here are two of its most popular episodes:

Amy's rant #5, "Bad Fashion Trends":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNE79v01Ky8
Amys rant #8, "Valentine's Day":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFKpz5rdMr4
LOL re: fashion trends.
So much for aspies being unexpressive and having no affect!
(I actually talk much like Amy does, especially when I'm on a monologue..that was funny to watch.)  I saw a video of myself once giving a professional seminar and, for the first time, I understood why people said that they always stayed awake during my talks Smile

Batman55 Wrote:
So, am I supposed to feel bad that I'm not a successful Aspie?

That is what you, Max, seem to imply.  You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems."

That hasn't been the case for me.  I have social impediments that make it difficult for me even when I'm accepted.  I really don't even want a lot of friends, I can't handle more than one or two people at a time.  I really prefer solitude, despite occasional loneliness.  What's wrong with that?  I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, therefore why do nothing that's just "not me"?

Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven't worked on these issues to the same extent as more successful Aspies?


Batman, I've noticed before that you sometimes seem to take other peoples' posts personally...as if they were criticizing you, or failing to be supportive of you.  You don't have to be like anyone here, or anyone who is written about.  You have your life journey with its struggles, failures and successes. And other people have theirs.

"What am I supposed to think, now?"

Whatever you want, Batman55. It's certainly not up to me.

I think high school is an incredibly difficult and painful time for Aspies -- I base that on my Aspie boyfriend's experience and on the many Aspie students I've known in the 10,000 years I've been a high school teacher.

I think Amy Gravino's story shows that there IS life beyond high school, where the brutal bullying is less intense, where one has more opportunity to follow one's interests and where there's greater likelihood of finding people who share your interests. I've known a lot of Aspie kids who found college an escape from a miserable adolescence.

Obviously, neither Amy Gravino nor I was thinking specifically about you when this story was presented. I think she's wonderful and that her story offers hope to a lot of kids who find the high school years hopeless and painful.
I actually had a harder time with college than with high school.  Probably because except for one year, I went to an all girls school, and I never dated except for one boy that my parents foised on me--I couldn't stand him.  I basically had no clue how to interact with boys, or how to deal with the various social expectations and norms.  I was constantly having dormmates explain things to me that apparently I was supposed to have understood but obviously didn't.

It really wasn't until my late 20s that I began to feel more at ease in the world.

energeia Wrote:
I actually had a harder time with college than with high school.  Probably because except for one year, I went to an all girls school, and I never dated except for one boy that my parents foised on me--I couldn't stand him.  I basically had no clue how to interact with boys, or how to deal with the various social expectations and norms.  I was constantly having dormmates explain things to me that apparently I was supposed to have understood but obviously didn't.

It really wasn't until my late 20s that I began to feel more at ease in the world.


I'm 25 and heading there, I just have to get over some self-esteem problems.

And I wish others wouldn't question my honesty about my experiences on here, yes I can "bend things against myself" but that's from the aforementioned.. poor self-esteem.  Other than these occasional mood distortions I am 100% honest, and correct, and on target, with the personal issues I talk about.

Batman55 Wrote:

Max the Bear Wrote:
    "I stopped wearing the scrunchie in my last year of college. I'm not so at odds in the world. When I went to college, I started making friends. I blossomed in college. The experiences helped me. I had a group of friends for the first time ever. " and I became a stronger, more confident person. I've stopped worrying about fitting in. I'm doing what makes me happy."


I haven't done these things, because I have extraordinary difficulty doing them, as I have noticed in 25 years of life much more than someone you would call an NT.  I don't have any instincts.  It's all manual and excessive labor for me to blend into social situations.

So, am I supposed to feel bad that I'm not a successful Aspie?

That is what you, Max, seem to imply.  You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems."

That hasn't been the case for me.  I have social impediments that make it difficult for me even when I'm accepted.  I really don't even want a lot of friends, I can't handle more than one or two people at a time.  I really prefer solitude, despite occasional loneliness.  What's wrong with that?  I don't enjoy being around a lot of people, therefore why do nothing that's just "not me"?

Am I supposed to feel bad that I haven't worked on these issues to the same extent as more successful Aspies?

Jesus.  What am I supposed to think, now?


I'm not sure but I have some of the same reservations myself. Having verbal communication issues has always been frustrating and no amount of positive thinking is going to change that.

We need to be able to accept we are not perfect and that we can't all be famous and revered. As long as we do the best we possibly can within our own circumstances, that should be enough.

"You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems.""

That's not remotely what I said, implied or thought. Feel free to "bend things against yourself" if you want, but don't just make up nonsense and put it in my mouth.

Max the Bear Wrote:
"You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems.""

That's not remotely what I said, implied or thought. Feel free to "bend things against yourself" if you want, but don't just make up nonsense and put it in my mouth.


Yeah, sorry about that...

Max the Bear Wrote:
"You seem to imply that all we need to do is just "get out there and realize we don't have any problems.""

That's not remotely what I said, implied or thought. Feel free to "bend things against yourself" if you want, but don't just make up nonsense and put it in my mouth.


Was that for me or for Batman55? I'm just a bit baffled, really.

Pages: 1 2
Reference URL's